Tuesday, January 19, 2016

TMI Tuesday: Analyze Your Sex Life

From TMI Tuesday.

1. What are your sexual strengths and weaknesses?

I'm easy, enthusiastic, orgasm a lot and I'm obedient.  I'm good at sucking.  I really get off on pain.  Weakness: I don't take the lead and dirty talk is hard for me and generally has to be prompted. 

2. As a couple, what are your sexual strengths and weaknesses?

I have no idea what this means.   We like having sex together. We like to try new things.  We happily take opposite roles.  Weaknesses? I don't know, I'm not really coming up with anything.  Sex is good here.

3. How do you make intimacy a priority in a relationship?

I think about my Master most of the time.  I rarely have to do anything to make intimacy a priority for myself, it just is.   If anything, sometimes I worry that I hang on him too much, or want it too much so that he will get annoyed with me.  When I'm trying not to be too needy or clingy I often go to the opposite extreme of what I feel and act distant.  So, I suppose I make intimacy a priority by attempting NOT to do that, by trying to find the middle ground. 

4. How has your sex life changed in the last five years?

It is totally different. Five years ago was about 6 months before we started any power exchange or bdsm at all.  We had a vanilla-married dynamic back then of him always wanting sex and me wanting it a lot less than him and often saying no.  

Handjob? No. Blowjob? No. Butt sex? No fucking way.  

He was frustrated.  I was conflicted. We were quite mismatched in desire and had been for a long time, for basically always.  It was very much a chaser/chased dynamic.  Sometimes I wonder why he put up with me.  Maybe he thought I was a typical woman, this is just how it is, or maybe it was just that he loved me for other reasons.  Sometimes in my secret heart, I wish he would have just forced domination on me.  But in reality, I don't think that would have worked out so well.  I had to come to it willingly.  Or maybe it would have been really hot, who knows?

So how often were we having sex then, five years ago?  Probably at most twice a week, and during ebbs, only a couple times a month.  Almost all quickies (compared to today, anyway), though he generally made sure I had an orgasm.  I could only do that in one particular position after great effort.  Sometimes all that effort wasn't really worth it to me and I'd tell him it wasn't going to happen. I never faked them though.  

How much are we having sex now?  As much as he wants.  If he wants three times a day, that's what happens. If he wants to skip a few days, then we do.   I'm almost always wanting more now.  It is a complete reversal in our level of desire, for which he sometimes laughs at me.

One of the big changes from five years ago, of course, was going from total monogamy to non-monogamy.   Having other lovers and sex partners is quite different, and I think it enhances us in lot of ways.  It has certainly expanded our world. 

5. Has blogging helped your sex life? How?

Yes.  I enjoy writing about our sex and scenes, and it often makes me desire more of the same all over again.  It does the same for my Master at times.  It's stimulating.   Sometimes it helps me with communication, and getting any issues I had out there, in explaining myself better. 

Bonus:  Has loneliness or emotional hunger ever caused you to “fall in love”?

No, that doesn't happen to me. 

2 comments:

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