Humiliation

A lot of people don't get humiliation, they don't want it, they don't like it, it takes them places they don't want to be.  It goes on the hard limits list for a lot of submissives. I am a slave, and I don't get a list.   So....

I think my security in the knowledge that I am loved and valued makes it possible to come back out of those dark mental places, even on mornings like this one, when I woke up in a fog still left over from the night before.   We had pretty much passed out as soon as we hit the bed.   I woke up still in the midst of shame and humiliation that I had eaten the night before, that I had actually fed on, taken deep inside.  I had welcomed the abasement into myself and used it as fuel to make me hot/wet.   Of course, he was dishing it out to me pretty heavy, and there were only two choices: break down or take it and use it.   Last night I chose the latter.  

It wasn't all about humiliation.  There was also pain.  I had asked to be beaten, because I wanted it badly .  I was pretty much vibrating all over, my brain buzzing with need.   He sent me to get a paddle, and I brought back Uma, the smiley one.   Yes, she has a name.

 Uma paddle

He also called me a pretty good cocksucking whore- I took that as a compliment. Then he petted me after he slapped me, as I drooled and choked and gagged on it, feeling excessively unattractive, especially when he kindly wiped my chin.    

Later he explored some pressure points on my body, and when he found them he said "I'm a sadistic bastard, aren't I?"  I said "Yes, Master, thank you, Master".   I was pretty much a puddle of goo by then anyway.