Thursday, November 27, 2014


I want to do a quick thankful post for the holiday, before our guests start arriving.

I'm thankful for Master, and how wonderful he is, how much our lives have blossomed since he became my owner.  
I'm thankful to have two good kids, and our health, and a family that is close and loving, with hardly any family feuds.  
I'm thankful for snow (maybe) and sun and not having to shovel the driveway again today.   
I'm thankful for all my friends, and also for all the readers that comment or lurk here!


Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Fisting, almost

Last night we were snuggling in bed watching a movie, as he gradually took all my clothes off, feeling me all over.  It turned into pussy spanking and light punching, then he began to work his fingers inside me.  I had come and squirted from the smacking, so I felt soaking wet, and yet he told me to hand him the lube.  We keep a large bottle on the nightstand.  He squirted some on me (cold!) and then began working more fingers in.  It felt really good and stretched out, and left me with a pleasant soreness.   

After the movie, later on,  he watched porn while I sucked his cock and he fucked me, which I wasn't really getting into.  Sometimes I am just his hole to get off, though, and I deal with it.   For some reason I was having a hard time being that for him without feeling kind of bad.  A little sad, I guess, I don't know. Disconnected. 

 Really just a hole, but not in the hot objectification way.  When he asked what was wrong I told him this.  He told me I was his hole, his cunt, his slave.  

 But then he reached for the leather strap and put it around my neck.  All my distanced feeling was forgotten in the ecstasy of his pulling on the strap, it tightened... just for a minute...ohhhh!  and then he put it in my mouth like a gag or reins.   He pulled it tight again and told me to come, while wrenching my head to the side, THAT was a big one!   He let me use the magic wand also, and I pretty well soaked the blankets. 

I asked afterward how much of his hand made it inside me, but it wasn't that close to his whole fist, yet it was still feeling quite full with all his fingers up to the last knuckle.   Quite full and very delicious, in fact. 

Monday, November 24, 2014

One Man's Sex Blog, Posted by DM for ksst

One Man's Sex Blog

The question was asked recently why men don't write more sex blogs.  This is just one attempt to answer that question.

Yeah, we fucked more than a few times this weekend, and it was okay.  The last time ksst wore her big butt plug, and it felt so good bumping against my cock as I fucked her that I almost went for anal.  Ass sex.  But that reminded me of my Civ V game where I'm playing the Aztecs, so I came, and went back down to play.

In Civ V you can choose different countries to play, and I mostly choose the Aztecs because they sound like ass sex.  They're really not a good power; the special unit is weak, the special building is only a minor improvement over the standard watermill, and the special power sounds way better than it is.  

If you really want to go for policies, you should choose the French, or another power that gets steady and reliable Culture Boosts.  If you want to wage war, you should pick a country with a better unit, like the Mongols.  

Probably the best power in Civ V, for my style of play, is the Persians, who have a great power, a good unit, and a great building.  However, when I play the Persians, I tend to tortoise up and not fight anyone.  I've spent entire games without a single war.  I won them, of course, but seriously, why bother?  Same with the Egyptians and the French.

The Aztecs, on the other hand, pick fights all the time.  Units in the water are just free culture for me.  My caravels and frigates roam the oceans running over any unit they come across, just for the culture.  It makes for an interesting game, constantly fighting the entire world, but unable to pull off any really big conquests because at level 6, where I usually play, you can't conquer people and stay happy.  I'm usually happy if I can keep my empire's happiness above -10.  

I love the Mongols even more than the Aztecs.  Their powers of conquest are unsurpassed, but on the high levels the unhappiness quickly kills you, with your cities' production at almost zero, units fighting at half strength at best, and zero population growth.  Even razing cities to the ground, a common Mongol tactic, can't stem the flood of unhappiness.  I sometimes sell conquered cities to other civilizations with which I am not yet at war, but then I end up having to reconquer them.  So, ass sex, or Aztecs.

I've won with all the other civilizations at at least level 5, except for the Greeks, who should really be the Macedonians, as their leader is Al the Great, and Ramaramadingdang of the Siamese.  These civilizations are too boring for me to play.

This is why guys don't write sex blogs.  And don't even get me started on World of Tanks.


I am


I have removed my robe and am wearing only my leather collar and a thin shirt with lace edging around the neck.  

"You are so beautiful".  He tosses it out there like a fact.  
Just a statement, not a flattery, not designed to make me feel anything or do anything.  

And in that moment, his words create my reality.  What I am in his eyes is all that matters. 

I am. 

Sunday, November 23, 2014

Master says "More explicit"!

Yes, he thinks my previous blog was not racy enough.  So I'm left with the decision whether to rewrite that one or to write a new one, because just a few minutes ago...well, I'll just say the man gets horny A LOT.  

A new one: 

I was sitting here in my computer chair, when he beckoned me upstairs.   I followed him to our room, where he told me what he wanted.  I dropped to my knees in front of him.

His cock still tasted of me; that was only a few hours earlier, actually.  Before his shower he wanted me once more. 

He was already hard as he thrust to the back of my throat.  He grabbed my hair and began pumping into my face.  I started to orgasm.  In that second he saw it and told me to come, but I'd already started anyway.   He told me where to put my hands and what to do, then another few minutes of sucking and he pulled me back off and shoved me on to all fours.   He kicked me in the ass a couple of times, then positioned himself behind me.

Throwing my robe up over my back and ripping (almost literally) my pants down, he took me so violently I gasped at the tightness and dryness despite my orgasm (it was not a squirty one).  

I realized I kind of had to pee then, but the feeling of him deep inside me and pounding up against my full bladder made it even more intensely delicious.  Is this supposed to happen?  I thought sex when you had to pee was not supposed to feel this great?  Or maybe it always does?  These thoughts flittered through my head before all thought abandoned me, leaving only the feeling of him roughly fucking me like a bitch on the floor. 

I felt every inch his bitch.  He used my robe sash for leverage, driving in deep and hard.  Then he suddenly stopped and my greedy little cunt was like "Heyyyyy" but then my mouth, just as greedy, was filled again, his cock now tasting strongly of myself.  I had thoughts of damp panties being shoved into my mouth as a gag. 

 Maybe they'd be mine, or maybe someone else's... 

Going Out

Last night, for the first time in a few years, Master let me go out to a dinner at a restaurant with some kinky folks without him.  I went with Mystique and we had a fun time chatting and eating, seeing friends and meeting people.    Master stayed home to relax with the kids after he'd had a long day of work and then getting hay with me.

He said beforehand that since he was letting me go out alone I was going to owe him big time.  Now, this is kind of a joke since he already gets everything he asks for from me, but still, the idea of owing him more than that, well, it made me a bit worried.    Can I owe him big time and yet not owe him at all at the same time?  Or is he just messing with my head?  Knowing him, it is the second one.

This morning he wanted to lie back and have me pleasure him, which I am happy to do at any time, but this morning there may have been an extra willingness and eagerness in my work.   When he was done with that, he had me put the butt plug in, use the Hitachi and he fucked me, sending me on many massive orgasm journeys.   

Saturday, November 22, 2014

KOTW: Suck My Cock, You Whore! (Talking Dirty)

Post with all the Dirty Talk

My Master loves how it turns me on, how he can easily embarrass and humiliate me with it, and how he can make me talk to him which is also embarrassing to me and yet hot.   He sometimes tells me exactly what to say.

It spurs on our fantasies and our imaginations. We create elaborate, or not so elaborate (Fuck me, Master!) images for each other which makes the sexy times even more exciting.

Some of the things he talks about would have been hard limits for me if I were allowed to have any of those.  Years ago I tried protesting "Don't say those things!",  which didn't work. At all.  

I am a big fan of force and not having any say in this (which you may have realized if you read more than one or two days of my blog) so I got over it, rather than continue to protest.   His corrections to me generally went along the lines of "You are my property.  You will do as I want, and I will do as I want to you." 

 That is paraphrased.  It was at least a couple of years ago, maybe three, so I don't remember exactly what he said.  

Most of the sort of talk I didn't like at first I really find hot now, and if I don't, well, he does what he wants, right?   

And that is good for me.

Kink of the Week

Friday, November 21, 2014

Something about last night, plus punishment, then a little fantasy, my title is too long

I got tied down to the bed last night, and had a serious long beating with the misery stick, and the paddle.   I was humping the blanket in delight and agony before he let me come.  After that there was some delicious sex, the dessert.  :) 

This was my reward for doing a certain task for him yesterday, one that was difficult for me.    

And, surprising me, it turned out he was saving my punishment for this morning.  It was quick and painful, a lot more painful than the "fun beating" of the night before.  This is how punishments go, of course, with no time for warm up or enjoying it.  

I'm having a pretty awesome day today, with my butt all sore and everything.  I helped that along by wearing my butt plug for a while.  It has a string on it now, thanks to all the people that worried me with stories of butt plugs vanishing up their rectums. 

I had this delightful fantasy going on while I wore it.  

I imagined that Master and I were shopping together, and I was wearing the plug with the string, and also a longish coat.  He had his hand under the coat, holding the string and tugging at it to guide me around the store, or just to remind me that he was holding my leash.   

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Owning Me

My legs spread wide, my spilling over cunt drenching the sheets, Master above me looks into my eyes and whispers, "In my mind I'm raping you, girl", and he was.   It is clear that I want it (now) while I didn't (before) but something about him taking what he owns makes me want that and everything more, insatiably more.

"It's not just in your mind" I said lustfully, not trying to be insolent, because he knew everything, what I wanted and how I didn't want it, as my hips strained upward to meet him.  I can feel a cut still on my lip where my face felt his hand then.  Three times.  Then I came, again.

Earlier I had to give him many confessions of things I had not done, or done wrong, or thoughts I had which were the wrong ones, the thoughts which led to me avoiding him and pouting last night.  I know I should not do this and I do it anyway.   There were so many confessions to make that every time I thought I'd finished I'd think of one more.  I'd had a hard couple of days, and frankly everything was finally catching up to me, things that I didn't want to admit or even think about.   

Punishment is still an option, but one that he doesn't use this time.   He has many reasons to punish me; he says I should be punished, he even asks if I need to be punished.  I have a hard time squeaking out a yes, finally, and yet he doesn't, because I guess he doesn't want to. 
I don't feel it as a grace though.  It would be nice if I did feel that way, or even felt a little grateful, but I don't.  I do feel grateful that he has torn all these confessions out of me, even though it makes me cry in agony.  This is how he owns me, even the bad parts, the parts I wish were not me.

  He still uses the paddle on me, reminding that it is only for his pleasure, not because I want it or don't want it or deserve it or don't deserve it. I finally give a right answer, surprising him, when he asks if I want to be beaten more.  "It doesn't matter what I want".  

Punishment or not, it still hurts like the devil, and I cry.  I fight with my own hands to keep them from rising up in self protection when he works on my chest with the small wood paddle. 

Finally I am wrung out limp.   He's struck out all my pain, absolved me and we can sleep. 


Tuesday, November 18, 2014

So... my mom thinks we are nudists

This all started a couple of years ago, when I told her that while she and my dad were watching the kids we were going to a friend's cabin for a picnic.  And she said "Well, are you going to be running around naked in the woods then?" totally out of the blue.  It caught me so completely off guard, that I blushed and stammered, "Well, actually, yes".  
She told me to make sure to wear sunscreen.  

I didn't tell her that her son in law was going to be beating me after I got naked in the woods.

 My mom is unique, I suppose.  What you might call "a character".   She thinks all this is more humorous than scandalous.   No reason to worry as long as I'm keeping my sunscreen on. 

Now, she knows we go camping every year with friends, and the kids don't get to go.  So that makes her absolutely sure that we are nudists going to hang out with our nudist buddies.  Because what other reason would there be for going camping without kids?

She barely misses an opportunity to tease, and I return the serve.  Sometimes I have been tempted to let slip the whole truth, but Master thinks it would be a bad idea, so I don't.

Last time we spoke I made a comment about their weeks of keeping the kids in August being Master's and my time to "frolic".   She said she wasn't sure she wanted to contribute to the delinquency of a "major" (she almost said minor, but remembered in time, I'm old!) I just laughed and then she said "I always knew that man was leading you into naughty things!  You can tell just by looking at him."   

Oh, I was so unbelievably tempted to deliver up to her curiosity a hint of the naughty things.  But I didn't, just bit my tongue and changed subjects. 

No Spanking For You!

Yesterday I was flirting heavily with some people that are going to be staying with us in a few weeks.  I was telling Master all about it, and normally he doesn't get upset about this behavior, he doesn't really care if I flirt.  But one particular thing I said caused him to say that I really was being too naughty.   I teased that I deserved a spanking.  He said, "Even worse, you get NO spanking".   

And so, sadly, I didn't get any.  

It doesn't even matter that one spot of my ass is still sore from Sunday.   I have massive cravings.   

Monday, November 17, 2014

KOTW: Piercing

Piercings – yea or nay? Do you have any? If so, are they a part of your kink, or just decorative?

I don't have any piercings, not even my ears anymore.   I originally got my ears pierced because Master wanted to be able to buy me earrings, but the infections kept bothering me for a long time so I let them close up after a year or more.  That was back when I was a teenager. 

I'm pro-piercing, if my Master wants to have it done.   He has been talking about getting labia rings, and also a clitoral hood piercing for me.   It would be all about what he wants, not what I want.   I have heard that the new jewelry is far better than the old cheap stuff I had in my ears, so hopefully I would not face the same problems again. 

What is it about them that makes them a “kink” as opposed to just decoration?

I would be doing it because my Master thinks it is hot.  I do also, but without him desiring it, I won't do it.   I think it would be especially exciting to do it as a scene, where he organized the whole thing without consulting me, then had me tied up during the piercing.  We know some piercers who would enjoy doing it this way...

Do you enjoy the sensation of being pierced, either in play or as a part of creating a permanent piercing?

I haven't done it, so I don't know.  I think whether I like the sensation or not (I'm thinking NOT) wouldn't matter; it would be more about the symbolism it holds for ownership and belonging to him, and him making the decision to have it done.   That is the part that gets me.

What is it about being pierced that “gets you where you live”?

See above ^ :).   Also, I think rings are really pretty and would be fun to play with after they are healed up.  Master is keen on getting a locking mechanism on my cunt somehow, just for the hotness factor for him.   He has also been talking about doing some stapling, but that is a slightly different thing, as it is only for the play, not for permanent decoration.  

If you a lover of piercings on other people (but not yourself) what is it about them that turns you on?

I like the way they look.  I didn't use to, but now that I've seen a lot more I find them attractive, at least sometimes.  I don't love facial piercing as much as nipple and cunt jewelry, but I'm not really sure why.   The thought of belly button piercing being done is the most frightening.  I don't think I'd like that at all.

Kink of the Week

Sunday, November 16, 2014

The Best Thing

The best thing about being fucked with the butt plug in is that both my holes are sore and happy when he's done.  Well, mainly the cunt is happy and butt is sore, but whatever, right?

We had visitors this weekend, small children we were sitting for. Which led to 24 hours of seeming chaos-- between the dogs (one of which could not stop barking any time anybody moved) and the kids it all led to me feeling totally run down. 

As soon as they left though, and ours too off to a friends house, Master caught me in the bedroom with laundry.  Serendipitous, eh?

He pulled down my pants and shoved me to the floor.  The belt and whip were liberally applied as I moaned and tried not to squiggle, then some cocksucking and the misery stick.  The butt plug.  A whole lot of fucking and orgasms.   

My batteries are feeling recharged, and Master is making dinner, too, some bean soup.  Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Saturday, November 15, 2014

A Bit of Fight

My Master likes me to put up a bit of a fight sometimes, just for fun.  I hate it when he blows on my tummy.  He could just order me to lie still and not put my arms in the way, but sometimes he lets me fight and wiggle first.  This morning I thought he was going to do it, and went to protect my stomach and he let me struggle a little bit before ordering "hands above your head".  Then he almost did it, but not quite, but then seemed to change his mind as he told me to get up and make biscuits.  He said the fleeting emotions in my face -disbelief followed by relief- as I started to get up and then he pushed me back down and did it anyway were just sweet.  

This was after I'd been spanked with the misery stick, so I have no explanation why it so much worse than a stick that actually hurts A LOT, but it is.  

Friday, November 14, 2014

Reader Request: Collar pictures

I had a request for pictures of my daytime and nighttime collars, and I am more than happy to share those.

The day collar obviously passes well in vanilla situations, the night one, not so much.   I have two other day time collars, but they look very similar to that one, so I'll just post the one I wear most frequently.   I have some pendants also that I can wear with them.

I have one other, besides those, which is a rhinestone studded pet collar, and is for more dressy kink occasions.  I don't really wear it at home.

Thursday, November 13, 2014

So, This Was My Morning

I'm on top.  Riding him.  He likes to talk during sex.  I'm more of a moaner and groaner, but sometimes he'll force me to talk too.  

He says "You'd like her to be here too, wouldn't you, slut?"

"Yes, Master".   I always answer "Yes, Master."  It is the safest thing. 
 Well, I almost always answer that way.  Other times I live on the edge.

He says, "You'd like her to sit on my face while I'm fucking you, wouldn't you?"

"Yes, Master".  

"You are such a whore, cunt".

"Yes, Master". I smile at his endearments.  I look into his eyes and feel lost and found in his ownership of me. 

"You'd like to lick my come out of her ass, wouldn't you?"

My insides go squelchy squelchy flip flop at that, and I hide my face from him but still say "Yes, Master".  

He's pushed me to the edge now, and he cradles my face with one hand. 
I flinch prematurely because I know what is coming and I love-dread it.  

Then the other cheek gets it. 

He tells me to COME, and I do.  

He makes me flip over and takes me from behind.  Pulling my collar tight around my neck, he rides me until his finish.  I would like it that way, just as he says.  

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

In Which I Fail at Masturbation

But not in the normal way.   I did come, but it did not go the way I planned.  

I am allowed to masturbate once a day when Master is gone. Yesterday I decided to give myself a little more involved self loving session and really draw it out for maximum pleasure.  

I put the butt plug in after applying a little lube and manual stimulation.   Then I put in a dildo as well.  That wasn't going to stay in my pussy on its own, so I pulled up my jeans to hold it. 

I planned to walk around the house, do some cleaning, enjoy the sensations of being all filled up for a while.   


I could just use the magic wand for a second or two, and then walk around the house. 

Standing in the middle of the bedroom, I touched the wand to the outside of my jeans.  Just a second.  Ok, just for two seconds.  Maybe just one more second.  Damn that is good.  Now I'm just going to turn it off...any second now...

Then I came, still standing up.   

And that's it.  Fun over.  I guess I could have tried for more, but you know how you sometimes just get that "Ok, I'm done" feeling when no one else is there to push you on for more?  That is what I had.  

Master enjoyed hearing me describe it to him last night. 

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Pa Rump Pum Pum Pum

Last night I hurried upstairs after finishing up a few things, threw off my clothes in a flurry, changed from day collar to night collar and flung myself down into position.  I had barely waited a minute when Master came in and told me to get into bed.  We did our little ritual, then he picked up a cane, a couple of which are stored right by the bed, handily enough.

Master began a gentle tapping which gradually increased to painful. He sang some Christmas carols in time with the blows. Festive!

He stopped to rub and fondle my ass.  I humped the bed a little bit, or tried to anyway, but he shoved me down hard and flat again, then resumed the cane work.  He paused to grip me by the throat, with his other hand in my mouth, and told me to COME!  

 More caning.  

After a short while I got a slightly floaty feeling, slipping away into subspace.  He punched me in the ass with his fist quite a few times.  Then he was done and told me to thank him while sucking his cock, which I did very gratefully.  Sleep came easily after that.  

Monday, November 10, 2014


This was something I wrote on Fet in answer to a question about how much intimacy is shared in D/s relationships.  I am putting it here, honestly only because every time I think about what I wrote it gives me the warm fuzzy happy feeling, not to try to say that this is how it should be, or how it is for everyone in a D/s or M/s relationship. 

Are there limits to your intimacy?

We don't have a line on intimacies, generally. He calls me Pumpkin. I sometimes call him Sweetie on the messenger (or I just call him M). He rarely puts a restriction on whether I can touch him (basically only one part, and then only sometimes). We hold hands when we go out, or when we drive together. We are both very touchy-feely that way.

We are married, to each other, and we are romantically in love, in addition to being Master/slave. I don't feel it makes me less submissive or less of a slave in any way to have those intimacies. 

 The boundaries are firmly drawn that I must obey, and he will notice and correct my behavior if I slip. 
It is not built around him holding me at a distance. It is built around being as close and intimate as two people can be and still respecting him and obeying him on my side, and on his side expecting and demanding obedience.

 I don't think I'd be particularly happy or satisfied without the intimacy, and I don't think my Master would either.

Sunday, November 9, 2014

Ready for Master

I'm ready for him to come back now.   He was gone overnight out of town, and instead of staying up late fiddling on the internet I went to bed at 8:00.  I woke up a couple times, but not for long, and just to do a couple late night things, like give myself the extra orgasm he had generously allowed me, but basically I slept for 11 hours. 

It was SO good.   Ah, wonderful sleep.

In the morning I got up, played with the little kid, made a fire, made some pancakes, baked bread, fiddled on the internet, did laundry, cleaned house, cleaned up the yard, went for a small walk, and now it is Sunday afternoon and I'm missing my Master.  

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Favorite Orders

Some of my favorite orders:

"Get naked, get a towel, and get into bed"

were issued last night.

After he finished caning me, I thanked him.

It was just the caning, nothing else before bed, but sometimes that is just enough. 

Enough to leave me thinking about sex all morning today...

Friday, November 7, 2014

Forty eight hours for Owner and property- longest fecking post ever.

There was a 24 hours in O/p thread in one of my groups this week, but I thought I'd expand it to forty eight hours so you can see the good, bad, ugly, ordinary, but mostly good aspects of our days.   

Tuesday, about 4:30, I was boiling chicken for stock, and making pizzas. The first pizza got done at about 5 (then the dough had to rise for next pizza). The second pizza got done at 8:00 pm. So in between then we had some salad and watched a show (Archer) on DVD. Then we ate more pizza and watched another episode.
Master put kids to bed.

I let dogs out and back in, fed them, washed dishes and then it was about time for bed. I waited for Master to come up in my usual spot, kneeling head down on the floor, then when he told me I could get into bed we did, and went to sleep right away.

5:30. I got up and made breakfast- sausage burrito for Master, bacon for the kids and Cheerios for me.
He told me I had to make a fire and I explained my fears about doing that, so he said just get it ready. I build the fire and waited for him to light it. He came down and said "Ok, now light it." Which I did, no problem. Sneaky Master! The problem with the fire is a bit complicated to go into here.

Master left about 7 for work, dropping the older kid off at school. I was on the computer some, until time for second kid to catch the bus. Got him on the bus, then did some laundry and cleaning, read some things on the computer, put a butt plug in, masturbated, took it out, had a shower, washed dishes and so forth. About 12 I got ready for Master to get home, as he had a half day of work today.

When he got home he ate a quick lunch, then kinda threw me over the couch for some... fun.

He told me to put on something else, something "cut-able" so I did. I waited for him in our room. He began caning me a bit, then he watched porn for a long time while I sucked his cock. Then he tied me up, caned me, fiddled with the video camera a bunch, made some movies in this and that position of the caning, which didn't really turn out. Have to try again later I guess. Then he had me put the butt plug back in and he fucked me.

We watched some more Archer, had some tea and snacks, then he went off to pick up his car from the shop. 

I never did get dressed properly.  Pretty good day :).

For dinner I made chicken, salad, and fettuccine with pesto (that I made tues. morning) and pine nuts.  After washing up and getting kids to take baths, do homework, and go to bed, I did all the dog chores like every night.

I can't remember what then, I fell asleep or something after folding the laundry.  Master woke me up later and we did our little ritual where we discuss my service for the day, which he said was very good, even though I didn't get my outside chores done because it was raining. I also hadn't waited for him in my spot because I'd gone to sleep so early.   A good fucking makes up for some things. :)

Then it is morning again, bright and shiny 5:30, ok, I lie, it was nasty sleeting icky at 5:30 but I got up and made breakfast after Master had cuddled me and told me to get up. 

The morning routine was pretty much like the day before except that I did not make a fire.   Make food. Let dogs out. Drink coffee. Check the internet sites.

While Master was getting dressed I knelt in front of him and kissed his feet, but he didn't have time for any fooling around.

After getting the youngest kid off to school I cleaned up the dog poop from the yard, then picked the rest of the carrots from the garden and set them to dry on the kitchen table.   

I vacuumed and straightened up the house some. 

Then I put the butt plug in again, masturbated quickly (takes like 10 seconds) then had a shower. 

I searched for some jobs online, printed an application and my resume and agonized about filling it out.  When it was done I would have to take it down to the company and drop it off.  At this point I was wishing I could be a lot more normal and relaxed about everything because my anxiety was through the roof about doing all this.  I can't even figure out what causes it, I just feel sick all over. Insecurity, self doubt, worries about not getting a job, worries about disappointing Master, worries about getting a job and hating it and being unable to keep up with my jobs at home....all those sorts of things.

  Anyway, I promised myself a reward of a Halloween Kit Kat after dropping off the application.  I left it there on the passenger seat of my car.  By the time I finished doing that little task I was feeling too sick to my stomach to actually it eat.  For a while.  Then I got stuck waiting for a train to cross the road and I calmed down eventually and ate the candy bar.

When I got home about 1:00, I went for a walk with Ben (the dog of the day).   We walked two miles and it felt really good, not so cold that it was unpleasant, just brisk (about 37 degrees, no sleet).  I jogged part of the way.    I tried really hard to focus on positives and get the negative junk out of my mind. 

I got home, checked Facebook, and a friend from the local community had posted that his company was hiring, so I filled out an application for that, luckily this one was all on line and I could attach a resume also.   I think they only have 2nd shift right now, so that is probably a bust.  Master doesn't want me to work evening hours because he'd never see me.  

I cleaned and put away the carrots that were resting on the counter.

With the chicken stock from the day before I made a chicken matzo ball soup with carrots and celery.  The kids were home, and the littlest one helped me chop carrots. 

When Master got home we ate (the soup was delicious) and then headed over to Mystique's for Thursday night TV watching.   The kids chattered away pleasantly in the car and I really appreciated what good kids they are.

It was getting late when we got home, but Master had to work on household finances, so I took care of dogs and kids, then I huddled up in bed with my book for a while until I fell asleep.   Master came up at about 10:30, and was ready for fun, which I was not really expecting.   I had to let in and feed one more dog, brush my teeth and hurry back.   

First we talked and I let on what an emotional mess I was about this whole job search thing.  He reassured me again that I was not useless, not failing him and encouraged me to keep trying.   

I labeled the following sexual escapade "Round the world in 40 minutes".  He pretended that he was some stranger who was going to pay my Master $50 for me giving him a blowjob.  Then he proceed to "rape" my other holes and stiff me my Master's $50.   
It was hot.  I cried.  
It was a good emotional release because when he was all done I was smiling.

 Mouth, cunt, ass:  I was well and thoroughly used.   

Tuesday, November 4, 2014


Sunday afternoon Master was going out to do a little chainsawing for firewood.

He told me to come out to keep him company, and to help. 
I asked if I could finish what I was doing first.  He said yes, and he waited for a bit, then went out.  I finally got done, put all my warm clothes on, got outside and immediately realized I should have made a pit stop first.

I told him I needed to pee.  He was already breaking some smaller sticks. 
He sighed and said, "Really?"  
And then he added "Right there, right now", pointing at the ground below my feet. 
I squatted, lifted my skirt and obeyed.


  I helped by holding the logs down for him while he cut them with the chainsaw, and then picking up the cut pieces, loading them in the wheelbarrow and carting them to the back porch.  More firewood is good!  
This was the tree that fell across the driveway a few weeks back.  

And look, I still have all my limbs!  

Mood Killer

Master had just started running a knife down my arm, saying 
"A*  is a lot less gullible than you are about this, probably because I've never actually cut her...." and I was feeling the sexy right down deep in my whole body when we heard:

Knock, knock.

"Mom? Dad?  Can you..."


And fun times will have to wait until the second tucking in of small child is done.   

Monday, November 3, 2014

Saturday Night

... was amazing.    After the munch and then dinner out with the whole group, a small party met at a secret location...

It sounds so mysterious, and it was getting spooky, because on the way there Master and our friend who rode with us were talking about the Walking Dead (they are both fans- I am not) and I got all creeped out about driving through the wilderness.   Everything took on that not-at-all-familiar look that it does in the dark.  
Just when I was ready to panic, we arrived safely (no zombies!).   I only shrieked a little bit when the car hit a stick.  

There was much fun, and many bruises acquired.  Master organized a scene lasting nearly two hours with multiple people, bottoms and tops, involved.

 I floated all the next day, and my butt is STILL sore.  A slapper made out of tire tread figured strongly in that.   It was this one
in fact that one of the other people brought along.   

Vicious looking thing, isn't it?  It feels just that bad too.  

Sunday, November 2, 2014

A commercial break

You have just looked up at the clock to realize it is 7:30 pm, and none of your assigned tasks for the day have been done.  The bed is unmade, laundry undone, dishes all over the kitchen, no dinner cooked, body unexercised... and Master's headlights are coming up the driveway too.  You have been sitting at the computer for 10 hours!

You look down.  You are still in a ratty old bathrobe! How awful! You try to run a brush through your hair and accidentally dump over a half full dish of soup over yourself and the kitchen floor.  Master walks in and sees you and the dogs scrambling over the floor trying to clean up the mess.

He looks at Fetlife.  "Two hundred and thirty seven comments you made today and I don't have any hot dinner!"  Master chides. 

He takes you upstairs.  He pushes you to your knees and opens his fly.  You catch strong smell of cunt.  He rubs your face in it, tells you his 22 year old secretary is so much younger and hotter.  He makes you suck her scent off his dick.  

Wouldn't this be a good time for a piece of rhubarb pie? 

Nothing gets the taste of shame and humiliation out of your mouth like Beep Bop Ba Ree Bop Rhubarb pie.

One little thing can revive a guy,
And that is home made rhubarb pie.
Serve it up!  
Nice and hot! 
Maybe things aren't as bad as you thought.  
Master's little slavey loves rhubarb, rhubarb, Beep Bop Ba Ree Bop Rhubarb pie.
Master's little slavey loves rhubarb, rhubarb, Beep Bop Ba Ree Bop Rhubarb pie.

Beep Bop Ba Ree Bop Rhubarb pie and frozen rhubarb pie filling.  Find it at all your finer grocery stores.  Ask for it by name.

(Anecdote not based on real events) 

Thank you Garrison Keillor for the inspiration, and I REALLY hope you don't read my blog. 


Every time I try to write something, I sit here staring at a blank blogger page.  For three days now. 

It is not that we haven't been doing things.  Perhaps I'm just overwhelmed by all the things, and this cold in my head isn't allowing me to think straight enough to write.  

Anyway, Master made some porn videos of me and had me post one on Fet.  I was getting caned while tied to the rafters in our bedroom.  It was just a short clip, but I was stomach churningly nervous about it being posted.   I worried that I wasn't attractive and that people would see it and think bad things about the way I look, the way the fat jiggles, erk.

 Master chided me for thinking this way, as HE finds me attractive and that is the most important thing of course.   At the same time, watching the video brings back all the memories of how hot that night was and how much I enjoyed it.  I worried that people would watch it.  I worried that people wouldn't watch it (gah, attention whore tendencies!).  Mostly I just worried.  It was the same way when I first posted still naked pictures on the internet.  Sigh.  Much worry over nothing, really.

Thursday night started with punishment because Wednesday I had done a few things wrong (being disobedient) and royally pissed off Master, who already had a headache, so he was mad enough that he wouldn't punish me.  He waited until he had a cool attitude the next day and then punished me. 

When that was over, the "fun caning" was on, and that was when he took the videos.   

. You Never Know When They Will Catch Up To You

  I just made what would have been a hilarious joke on social media, if only the one other person who would get it would have been around to...