Real Neat Blog Award

Fiona at SirQandme has nominated me for a Real Neat Blog award! How fun!  Thank you!  Here are the stipulations:

1)  Put the award logo in your post
2)  Answer 7 questions asked by the person who nominated you
3)  Nominate any number of bloggers you like, linking to their blogs
4)  Let them know you nominated them

1)  What scares you most about TTWD, and conversely what are you most gratified about your journey through TTWD?


Honestly, the thing that scared me most for the longest time was that he would decide he wanted to stop this thing that we do.  I don't fear that anymore though.   
The most gratifying is how close it brings us, how intimate it is, how much alignment it brings us, and how much pleasure we both get from dominance and submission, respectively. 

2)  What is your favorite tradition surrounding your birthday (or if you don't have one - around a holiday that you like)?


My birthday has never been a really big deal, though I do like cake.  
Christmas is my absolute favorite, even with all the surrounding difficulty of getting everything done.  Coming down in the morning and seeing the tree, making the traditional holiday sweet rolls, eating the sweet rolls, seeing the excitement of the kids at opening presents- those are the best parts. 

3)  If you're home alone, is there music playing, a television on, or quite in your home?


Mostly quiet, though I also play music.  Right now I'm listening to this:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCphbDRkZS, which I find unbearably sexy. 

 I also listen to a lot of country music when Master isn't home (he doesn't like most of it- except the Dixie Chicks- he likes them).  He says most of the rest is Jingoistic (rah rah, 'Murica kicks your butt!) or stupid (my wife took my dog and my truck and then they all died so now I'm drinking myself to death).

4)  What's your favorite book, movie and song?

I don't have a favorite book.  I like lots of books, but generally only read each one once, so they don't get a chance to be favorites.

My favorite movie is probably The Princess Bride.  A close second is Bladerunner.



My favorite song changes regularly.  Currently it is this one:  Adele -Set Fire To The Rain.  I'm in love with her voice, and also think she's gorgeous.  Who knows what it will be next week?

5)  If you were 18, found your blog and read it, what would your reaction be?

I can't quite decide if I would read with horrified fascination or immediately turn to a different page on the web.  I was really not into porn at that age, but have always been into stories of extreme power differences.   Possibly I'd skip through and read the less explicit entries.  

6)  What qualities, do you think, is your significant other is most attracted to in you?


Tits, definitely tits.   He also loves my devotion, my obedience, my goofy sense of humor, and probably some other things.  But mostly tits.

7)  What is your favorite toy to make you cum?  What's a fantasy of yours using that toy?

The Hitachi magic wand is just like magic that way.  I usually come in less than a minute.  My fantasies usually revolve around groups of slaves being in bondage, humiliated, fucked.  Generally I'm in the group, but the other people are all random and generic.  


I'm having the most trouble coming up with new, interesting questions!  

Here are my nominations for the award, fantastic bloggers all:
 
Pillow Talk- mcKitten 

Under His Hand- kaya

and 

Taming of L- Master49

And the questions for you:

1.  What was your favorite vacation, who did you go with, and what made it the best?

2. What is the best flavor of ice cream?  Does your partner/other half agree with this?  

3.  Which would you rather have- a trip to Sea World alone or a hang nail all day?   

4. Which  kinky things would you leave out of your toy bag if you were allowed to choose on an over night trip?  Or in the case that you always get to choose, what would your submissive leave out? 

5. Favorite dinner?

6. Most prized possession?   

and lastly, finally, the end question:

7. Do you usually have a higher or lower libido than your partner?  

Lifestyle and Politics

Yay!  More questions from an anonymous reader!  Thank you!

 I've got some questions for both of you:

1. Are you Republicans or Democrats and do you always vote the same?

We are both Democrats, and we generally do vote the same.  This time he has told me who I'm voting for, but I would have picked the same candidate anyway.  There might be some small differences on the local elections, but I nearly always vote Democrat as does he.  We discuss a lot of the issues on a regular basis. He is slightly more fiscally conservative than me, but on the social issues we have both always been lefties.   Gun control is one issue that we don't line up with the far left though, as he believes the second amendment does actually give Americans the right to have guns.  That doesn't mean there can't be licensing and registration.  I used to be anti-gun in the extreme, growing up in a big city where gun violence was a frightening thing, but have changed my mind over the years to agree with him :).  We don't believe in animal rights either.  Animal welfare, treating them as well as possible, I support that all the way, but animals don't have rights.  Pro hunting, pro animal research for human benefit and pro meat eating.  Ok, we're not that far to the left. :) But we did support Obama.

Are you pro-life or pro-choice?

Pro-choice- both of us have always been.

2. Are you religious?

That's a more complicated one.  He's always been an atheist, getting kicked out of Sunday school for saying he didn't believe in God when he was 10 or so (and his dad is a minister- they still get along though, even with much religious discussion going on- Master loves a good debate).   
I started out believing the same, but in about 2008 I had a very personal and vivid experience which made me start believing in God (no drugs were involved, nor foxholes).  I don't have a religion that I follow, but I do believe there is some kind of higher power that spoke to me.  My prayers get mixed up with God and Master sometimes... 


3. What's your heritage?

I'm an American WASP mutt.  My grandma was into genealogy, so she traced our family tree and shared it with everyone.  It is English on her side and Swedish on Grandpa's.  She was also a member of the DAR (Daughters of the American Revolution) though not nearly as closed minded and some of them can be.  She was from Texas.  Grandpa and Grandma owned a large farm in Oklahoma until they died, and they were quite prominent people in those small circles.  I spent many summers with them on the windswept plains, feeding cows and playing in piles of cotton seeds, and developing a horror of grasshoppers landing in my armpit.   Their little sticky feet- ewwww!  

My other Grandparents were also from Oklahoma.  That side of the family had many nationalities behind it: French, Scots-Irish, English, probably some others.
My parents met in college and got married three months later, then immediately moved to England, where they lived for three years, working at Oxford, before coming back to the US and having me.   They were both in scientific fields (chemistry/biochemistry) but my mom always dreamed of being a farmer and having horses.  

My dad dreamed of never being on a farm or having to work that hard again, having grown up hoeing cotton and falling off very cranky horses.   That is what kind of mismatched expectations a three month dating/engagement period will get you!  However, they compromised by living in the city for the first 20 years and then on a farm for the next 20 and counting. 

Master's dad grew up on a farm in North Dakota, one of about 20 siblings, all boys but one, all sharing one bedroom in a little farmhouse (Ok, I exaggerated.  Only a little), of Danish and Norwegian ancestory.  We took a trip once with a dozen or so of his relatives through Denmark and Norway to meet even more relatives, which was lots of fun.    

His mom is from Panama.  She didn't teach him much Spanish, though, just a cute little poem about a frog's fart and a few other things.

Crying Cheerleader

After fondling me extensively, Master took me upstairs for some whipping.  I was crouched on the ground as he used the driving whip, and I was just beginning to relax into it when he switched to the tire tread paddle and told me to spread my legs while he was hitting the outsides of my thighs.  

"Wider!"  I spread 'em a good amount, I thought anyway.  

"Wider!" and a bit more. 

"Wider! Spread your fucking legs!" 

 Now my knees were really far apart.  The outsides of my thighs were burning because he was smacking them the whole time and I cringed at thought of the paddle between my legs, but I kept them open.  He brushed it lightly, then a little more firmly, but the big cunt smack did not come.

Instead he told me to stand up.  He whipped me a bit more standing up against the dresser and then he got the clover clamps out. 
He attached them and I barely trembled.  Don't worry, they get worse the more he leaves them on.

He videoed me while making me do a little cheerleader routine.  I had to go through it several times before I was doing it right and he got a good video.  It went like this, with him telling me to jump on each letter, the clover clamps bouncing painfully:

Give me a K! 
K!
Give me an A!
A!
Give me a Y! 
K!
Give me an A!
A!

He was chanting Kaya! Kaya!  And I was crying and hiding my face.  

She is going to get such an inflated head from all this that Scott will have to beat her extra to get her back in shape, I'm afraid. 

That would be so sad. 

 (giggle)

Kinky Sleep Play

Master said that he was into some Kinky Sleep Play last night, meaning, in his secret Master code (which I cracked) that he was tired and just wanted to go to sleep early.

Of course, it is always a Master's right to change his mind.

   He said I could put on a show by masturbating for him, but I better make in interesting.  I guess I did, because then he began holding off my air until I was near panic level of desperation, and "helping" me with the COLD beer bottle I was using in the show. 

 Then he ended up sticking his cock in my mouth, cunt, mouth, ass and mouth (in that order) before coming all over me. 

Message, Arrival, Finale

His message from work, simply "Having a good day? Oh, and #10 tip tonight."

I had just reposted this little gem from Sarah Silverman .

I love it when he flirts with me from work. :)

Hours later, I was in the middle of cooking dinner (baked chicken, stir fried vegetables and rice) when he arrived.  I bounced up to him, as usual, and started chattering on about my day.  He was standing very close.  He pulled my hair back and said quietly "It is talking to me like it's a person.  It had best remember what it is..."

 I pretty much melted into a puddle of goo at that point.  

Then of course we had to go about our evening as usual, with cooking, dinner, and clean up and homework and baths for kids.  

Until they were all asleep and he put on a movie.  It was Nymphomaniac, which I do NOT recommend.  It's a very slow movie, and pretty dull really.  But it does have a lot of sex, so he fast forwarded to those bits and watched them while I sucked his cock.  It has a LOT of sex.  It is pretty much dull unsexy sex alternating with dull conversation.  And no whipping at all (sad face).   He pushed my face down to his crotch.   I had much more fun sucking him until my neck and mouth ached and my knees ached and my feet were asleep from kneeling.   He put me over the couch arm and fucked me, but I was quite dry.

A bit later I waited, head down/ ass up, on the floor in our room.  When he came in, instead of speaking he walked around behind me, flipped my robe up and told me to close my legs.  This is a kindness, to keep the belt from hitting my exposed cunt.  After this, he had me stand and strip, then he attached the clover clamps to my nipples.  He'd like to pull the chain around the back, and tries to pull my poor nip off, but the chain won't reach that way.  So it goes on the front.  Then he took one of my 5 lb dumbbells and attached it to the chain.  I'm scared he's going to let go of it, but he just allows it to give a good painful stretch before removing the clamps.  Whew!
 He bent me over his leg and hit my ass a few times with the tire tread paddle, until I was dancing about.

I wasn't dry down there anymore, that is for sure!  

He told me to lie on my back, and got out the long handled driving whip.  I covered my eyes as he flicked it all across my body.  He dragged the paddle across my cunt, licked me there, made me come.   Once we were in bed he fucked me quite sore.  There was a wee bit of weeny struggling, but he had me pinned down really well.  I can still feel it, plus I have a new bruise from that tire tread wicked thing! 
 

 

Go Fund Me site for fellow blogger

I'm sharing this in the hopes of getting the word out to people who have read Kinky and Poly and who have enjoyed the posts on Kink of the Week, which Jade was doing before tragedy ripped apart their world.  

http://www.gofundme.com/jadewarrenadam

I hope people will help if they are able, and/or include them in your positive wishes or prayers, whatever your inclination. 

The legal system really is stacked against them here.

Love for Him

  " You learn to like someone when you find out what makes them laugh, but you can never truly love someone until you find out what makes them cry."
--Unknown

You make me laugh as easily as you make me cry; I do love you so.  

 “If I had a flower for every time I thought of you...I could walk through my garden forever.”
― Alfred Tennyson


“We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness—and call it love—true love.”
― Robert Fulghum, True Love

I let it fall, my heart,
And as it fell you rose to claim it
It was dark and I was over
Until you kissed my lips and you saved me

My hands, they're strong
But my knees were far too weak,
To stand in your arms
Without falling to your feet

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ri7-vnrJD3k

It

It.

A funny little word to make so much difference.  It takes away personhood.   Just for a short time, in a seductive way.

It barely registered with me at the time.  I was kneeling in front of my Master, being used as a hole, and he was hitting me with the cane, hard.

The cane strikes were bad enough to disrupt my sucking ability, and he was correcting me for being a bad hole.  It can suck better than that.  It better suck harder.  Whack! Whack! Whack! Whack!

The hitachi wand was buzzing between my legs.  With all that going on, I didn't need to think, wasn't able to think.  It is a hole.

The word touched me, but it's only now when I'm trying to think back to what was said and what happened that it makes me want to wrap up in a great fuzzy blanket of non personhood objectification.  At the time I wasn't thinking much at all.  Just like an it to not think.

Before the caning and the sucking he'd attached the clover clamps to my nipples and made me jump up and down.  Holding weights. Being some kind of weird, perverted, gently sobbing cheerleader. 

 He moved one clamp to my cunt lip and made me jump some more.   Bounce for me, he says.  Bigger bounces! He got it all on video, and I'm amazed by the amount of whining I do when I watch them later.   It was fun though, a special kind of fun, especially when he took the clamps off.

Before he did the clamps he'd told me to put the butt plug in.  Then I had to run all around the house collecting items for him, like dumbbell weights.  I was worried that he was going to attach those somehow, but he just had me hold them like pompoms.

I'm getting excited and getting things all out of order here.  Oh well.

After and during the caning I was allowed many orgasms, then there was a lot of fucking, with the butt plug still in. Lots of fucking.

When he was done there was a shower together, (it got pissed on as usual).   He told me I smelled like cunt and piss.  Which was good.  He was smiling around the edges of his eyes.   I was smiling all over.

I got the placed cleaned up and I made cookies.  He made soup. Then we had friends over for gaming, a nice afternoon of Settlers of Cataan, matzo ball soup, oatmeal scotcheroos and Basari.   It was nice and weirdly normal.  

The morning had been outstanding though.   I'm still processing "it".

A Good Good Night

It started with the driving whip and ended with a lot of forceful rough "play rape" type sex where I struggled to get away and he held me down and hurt me and fucked me until I gave in and had no more struggles to put up.  

It was a very hot night even with the freezing rain outside.  

House Elf Play

We were joking the other day about what "house elf play" would be like.  I think I would definitely be Winkie (the house elf in Harry Potter who dreads freedom) rather than Dobby (the one who tricks his cruel Master into freeing him- giving a house elf clothing frees them magically).

Master said it would look like this:

Winkie says "Oh look, Master has given Winkie a used condom.  Winkie doesn't know if this counts as clothes or not?"

(It doesn't.)

And here I was thinking "house elf play" sounded like I could get all the chores done magically without effort.

Camel Girl

Master called me camel girl last night.  

Because I always think it is hump day.

Speaking of the little things (yesterday's post),  we had just finished watching THE BEST ever episode of Orange is the New Black last night when he gave me a dark look. A dark sexy look.  He made a wedge of his fingers and shoved my chest, pushing me back down onto the the couch.  I had been sitting next to him and suddenly I was lying down.  He grabbed the front of my jeans which were unbuttoned and half unzipped and pulled me toward him, roughly.  He commented that just a little bit of fear makes me clench, doesn't it?  Yessssss.
 
See, how could I not want the sexins all the time?
 
Then he told me to go feed the dogs.

Later on, when the necessary things were all done, he had me lie on my back on the bed naked, and he still had that look of dark foreboding.  

Also, a cane. 

There is nothing to be afraid of, right?  Except I knew it was going to hurt.  I was tensed up all over.  I kept getting my hands in the way and he threatened to smack them with the cane too.  He was working on my pussy and tits, and I was squirming hard until he took my wrists in his other hand and held them down.   

He put his cock up to my face, I rolled my side to take it in, and he caned my hips and side hard as I attempted to please him.  

When I rode him he alternated twisting and pinching my nipples with stuffing his fingers in mouth.  And of course smacking my bruises that are left over from the other night.  Tuesday, maybe?

He let me use the Hitachi and I had a shaking shattering orgasm series.   My thighs were aching, I guess from so much clenching up.

 He told me a fantasy story which made me want to hide my head, hide away from this, but at the same time it perched me on the edge of coming again.  He asked me if I liked that. 

Like? Do I like it?  Ummm.  
Yes/no/maybe/can't/think/busy/coming, how 'bout that? 



 

 





 

Little Things

Someone asked a question (on Fetlife) about the little things that go on in one's relationship that make other people say "I wish I had that" and I was totally stumped for a bit.  Mainly because they weren't talking about people on Fet, or people who read blogs, but just people who are our friends.  They weren't talking about the S/M or the sex, or the power exchange, or anything extreme like that, and anyway we don't talk about that with vanilla friends.

 I was stumped because when people say things like that it makes me hideously uncomfortable.  I have no response.  I have had people say "You guys are so lucky to have each other, to have this kind of connection for so long" and I want to say a dozen or so inappropriate things, so instead I say nothing at all, or "Yes, we are".

They don't get swoony over the fact that he's an awesome father, because in our circle of friends (vanilla) being a good father is expected, not the exceptional thing.  

The last time I went and hung out with any vanilla people it was with Master's co workers (I'm pretty lacking in social life).  One of the young women was talking to me about her failed boyfriend/girlfriend relationships and asking how Master and I made it work so well and for so long.   

I'd had a few beers, and this just kind of slipped out "Oh, I just do everything he wants".  And she asked "Really???"  I said yes, and she just nodded and said "I guess what ever works for you is good".    I think I may have blathered on for a while about love and trust and communication, refusing to give up or let go, and knowing in your heart that you want to be with someone more than you want anything else, because BEERS- I don't get more than one very often.

So, anyway, on to the real point of this post, which is all the little things he does that make me feel special.

Calling me upstairs for no reason other than to pin me against the wall with his hand on my throat for a kiss.

Letting me kiss his feet in the morning only after I've sucked his cock and he's wiped it off using my hair.  And then hitting me with his belt as I kiss his feet.

Giving me a kiss every morning after breakfast.  Then asking me if I enjoyed last night, and when I say yes, he says "Yeah, because you are such a fucking slut". 

See, our vanilla friends would just not get the happy feelings that gives me.  

There are other little things too, all the time.   He may say that he doesn't do much for me because it is not all flowers and chocolates, but his little looks and touches and smacks on the butt are worth so much more.

 

Great big paddle

I got a hearty paddling last night.  And I mean, that if all the other paddlings I've had were painful, then this one was above and beyond.   He used a handled cutting board.  I was crying.  I think he almost felt bad for me.

Then some cock sucking, and beating with a really nasty sort of a cane. On my back and ass.  I was crying some more!  I could barely keep sucking, even.

He also put the new clamps both together on the spot right by my clit (hood, maybe? I couldn't see) and then fucked me several ways.  It was painful.  I came so hard, though.  For awhile the happy little clamps were on my nipples, and then one on a nipple and one on a pussy lip.   And he slapped me a bunch.  
All together, I'd say it made for an awesome sheet soaking night.

He tried the clamps on himself again too, just to show it wasn't that bad, I guess.

Unacceptable Fantasies

I would guess that a lot of us, before we got into kink, or perhaps even now, have had fantasies that we considered unacceptable, too much, too strange, too horrible to even admit that they turn us on.

How about you?  Yes/no?  You don't have to say what they are, of course, but I am curious.   

When I was a teenager, I read the book Roots by Alex Haley.  Not just once either, many times. You probably have seen the TV mini-series if you are my age.   I knew it was very wrong and shameful, of course, what happened to real people in this country and others.  I still had this utter fascination with it which had nothing to do with race and everything to do with 
power/control/ownership/cruelty.

  I also read little book called "Slave Boy" about a boy in ancient Rome who was a slave but escaped.  It was a kids book. I was in 5th grade, and I found it in the class library, so there was absolutely no sex or anything remotely kinky, it was just about a boy of those times and all about his life.  I remember hiding out to read it because I didn't want anyone to know how much the whole idea  enthralled me. 

One of my favorites was a perfectly innocent book called Lad, A Dog.   It's a dog book, right?  But if you go back and re-read it, as I have in the last couple years, and imagine a person in the role of the dog, the whole thing could be read as a M/s fantasy.   Hell, the dogs are even whipped when they are bad, well after the naughtiness is over and done.  Who does that?  Any good dog trainer knows that you quickly correct them in the act or forget it and wait for the next time.  You don't make them wait and think on their upcoming punishment because dog brains do not work that way.  People brains work that way.

These things fueled my fantasy life, at first in a totally non sexual way that as I grew up became sexualized.  I imagined myself a slave to a certain (imaginary) man, following him around being of service during the day and chained up in a harem building at night with other slaves.  There wasn't really any spanking or torture, or anything like that, other than he always had a riding crop for the occasional smack down if I wasn't quick enough in obeying.  

 The sexual part usually entered in with him allowing me to be used/raped by his friends and relatives.   These were the fantasies that I considered totally unacceptable, unattainable, not even desirable in real life and utterly shameful.  
I didn't share them with anyone. 

Then I came to find out using this amazing new thing called the internet that other people have similar, or even more extreme fantasy lives.  How freeing and reassuring that was!

Once we started down the road to exploring kink, I realized that everything was better in real life than it had been in fantasy.  I could have my regular life with my husband AND all those delicious fantasy slavish feelings AT THE SAME TIME.  Amazing.   I came to find out that Master had his own "unacceptable" (to him) fantasies also, though they were somewhat different from my own.

So, what do you think? Did you go through this? 

And MORE nipple clamp fun

Yesterday, Master made some videos of me with the clamps, and getting caned, and wearing the rubbler bit gag (and drooling!) and blindfold while I was riding on top of him.  He pulled on the chain too.  Owie!  They hurt pretty good.   Between messing with the soundtrack (Carpenters and Abba!) and the camera there was a lot of interruption, but we still had a really fun time with it.  Then he fucked me as I lay on my stomach, still with the blindfold.   It was all very wonderful, even the painful clamps (!!) but I'm still craving more.  Heh.  

He was snuggling me this morning and I asked if I could touch myself.  He said yes, but then I still had to wait until he told me to orgasm.  He held my throat, and then his hand over my mouth.  Such a little thing, but so delicious.  

A few orgasms later, I got up so he could go back to sleep.

All For Kaya (I hope this does not embarrass you)

He was on top of me, fucking me, and I was wearing the clover clamps.  They hurt, but not an unreasonable amount and I was totally right about being fucked with them on being way better than just wearing them around the house and not being fucked.  For one thing, he moves them around a lot.  First one on each nipple. Then one down to my labia.  Then both on the cunt lips.  Then back to my nipples.  This gives each part a little relief, right?  A start of pain and then relief, all the while there is the pleasure of sex.  The pain makes the pleasure all the more intense. 

Then to my shock he moved one of the clamps to his own nipple!  Now we are connected by the nipples and he's pulling back.  I think I might die.  You can't die from nipple pain, but I think I might anyway.  "You pussy," he says "It doesn't hurt that bad". 


Then he shifts his clamp to the other side of his chest.

"Ow! Fuck that hurts!" he exclaimed loudly as he took it off instantly and put it on me again, both clamps on one breast now,  fucking me like a demon.

I admit it, I laughed.  

I told him he probably just didn't have it on right before, which is why it didn't hurt at first.  

This is what they get for allowing slaves free speech. 

I was good for his use

And I feel so much better today.  All that "ick" has been cleared out of my brain, after a good paddling and fucking last night.   

I hate being sick.   He felt my forehead when he came to bed and thought I felt hot.  I did a goofy grin and said something like "Yeah, I'm all hot!"  So I guess he figured if I was able to joke he'd fuck me, fever or not.   

First I sucked him for a long time while he looked at porn.
Then he had me fetch a paddle for him.  I laid over his lap as he spanked me.   He also used a cane. 
It felt so good, good and ouchie. Then I was on my stomach the whole time he was fucking me, and he went on for a long time, hitting that one happy spot deep inside, pausing to use the paddle on me, then going back to slow fucking, or fast and then slow, slow and then fast. 

I don't know how or why this clears my head of all the negativity so well, but it does.   Still feeling sick, but at least not so sad and half shattered anymore.

(PS. He wanted this post titled "Too bad kaya still has to wait two more weeks," but I'm not that mean.  Oh, wait, I guess I am.  But he did say he'd make that video for you to try to atone for the meanness.)

Glad I waited

I'm glad I waited until Master got home to put the nipple clamps on.  See, I have this rule that I'm not allowed to hurt myself on purpose without him.   I wasn't sure if the nipple clamps would fall under something like wearing the cuffs when he's not here (don't hurt, and allowed) or something really painful, which would not be.   Now that he's used them, I put them in the definitely painful category, and therefore I would not be allowed to do them myself (unless he directly ordered it of course). 

Pictures with Clamps

These arrived in my mailbox yesterday (thanks kaya! She doesn't just throw you under the bus, she mails the bus to you!).  I barely had time to debate putting them on myself to see what I was in for or waiting until Master got home to put them on for me, when he got home way early.    
 
I don't really need more text here do I?   Perhaps just saying "ouch" is enough.  Also, that I'm seriously horny now, and totally un-fucked for DAYS.  Days, I tell you.  It's very sad (note: world's tiniest violin playing already, so you don't have to tell me I am pitiful.  I know.) 

Master had me suck his cock this morning, just for a minute, not long enough at all, then stood me up and pulled my hair to the side firmly.  He said "You are for my use" and made me repeat it back to him several times.  Oh oh oh.  So desperate, even with having a cold again and my head all stuffed up, all that fades into the background when his hands are on me.

Begging For It: KOTW

In most ordinary situations I'm not allowed to beg for anything.  Once he's said no, that is a no and that is final.  

But when were in the middle of a sexy scene, then it can be a great turn on to hear me begging for sex, or more beating, begging for an orgasm or ass sex, or even occasionally begging him to stop.   

Sometimes he'll order me to beg for things that I don't even want.  That is pretty hot for me too. 



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New Toy

In a moment of enthusiasm (insanity) while buying dog food at the farm store I bought Master a new toy.  Evidently this is what is called a driving whip.  It is about 4 feet of handle and 18" of lash.

After three strokes I leaped out of position and said "Ok, this was a mistake".  Of course he made me get back there and finished making me nice and stripey.  After a dozen more it actually seemed like maybe it wasn't so bad.  

Maybe?   

Here's a picture culled from the interwebs for an approximation:

Driving whip 

Master is Healthy (watersports warning)

The word watersports is funny, because it's neither water nor a sport.  Maybe I should just say piss play.

In the shower today Master told me to kneel, with a hand on my shoulder.  Then he tipped my chin up toward him and peed all over my chest, mouth, eyes, hair.  I licked my lips and said "Salty".

He asked if it was sweet, and when I said no, he said "Good, I'm not diabetic then."   I'm evidently the unofficial tester.  

Caning, all about the caning. Oh, and fucking.

Saturday was our monthly munch, and this time the Notable Person was Dr. Peter demonstrating caning.  I simply love our little group here and we are so lucky to have him right around the corner.  He really knows and is passionate about the subject, having been involved in caning for years and years, plus he's a genuinely nice man.   I was picked to be a demo bottom ahead of time, and that was quite a treat.  Skirt up, panties down!   There was a double cane, which felt amazing!! and then a regular stiff and heavy thuddy cane, and then the one with some serious bamboo nobbles.  There might have been some other things too, not sure, but I loved it all. 

Later that night Master had me suck his cock while he watched some porn, then he tied me up throughly, hands and feet, to the bed and caned me even harder, much harder, which was also delicious and painful.  It was alternated with some hard fucking from behind, and then rolling me over and caning my breasts, then more fucking until I had come a bunch and he had finished inside me.

This morning again, he told me to suck his cock, then ride him.  He told me wicked and perverted stories while I did so, then he had me tell him one.  Mine wasn't as elaborate, but I was having a hard time concentrating on two things.  He also tapped on my closed eyes with his finger, which was really a lot more painful than you might think.  It was definitely a "Suffer, bitch" moment.  

Used Cocksucking Whore

This is what he calls me.  Afterward.

Before, we had been cuddling and watching a movie in bed, then he pushed me down to his cock.  I curled up next to him and sucked his hard cock in deep.  Soon I was just holding my mouth tight but open as he thrust his hips into my face.  I was in some other zone, the mouth-hole zone, where everything else was blotted out and I was only focused on being a good hole. In. Out. In. Suck. Out.  He grabs my head or smacks my butt, all while thrusting in and out.  It is all I can think about, or not really think, but just be a hole.  Used cocksucking whore.

When he was done I rolled on my stomach sniffling and wiping my face, covering myself with my arms.  It wasn't out of fear or shame or pain, though, just an effort to stay in my hole-zone a few more minutes before coming to the surface.  He grabbed the paddle and gave me a short hard spanking.   I nearly went into subspace; I could feel myself falling, but he yanked me back with an even harder series of smacks, then told me to go get my teeth brushed. It was so hard to get up, but necessary to obey.  Looking in the mirror I thought, "That is one freshly fucked face!"  When I was done I waited for him on the floor of the bedroom until he came back.

In the morning, I woke; he was eager to use me again.  This time he fucked me, slapped me, tweaked me, and I came long and hard, soaking sheets once again. His hands around my throat, holding me, roughly now gently, I'm his.  His messy, soaked, contented hole. Used.

Limits in Kink

Follow up question, and thank you anonymous for this one!  I will attempt to answer as well as I can.

Thank you for your answer to my limit question, I meant more some of the more black slope or "extremes" activities out there within BDSM. lol. Not jumping off a bridge/cliff/illegal. Say your Master had thoughts on something that absolutely repulsed you turned your stomach and made you go eek past the normal bunny in head lights moments and how would you handle that? If no way on earth could you see yourself doing it, although you follow a your limits are his. 

In the BDSM/kink realms, like with other aspects of life, we share our thoughts and feelings constantly with each other.  He is more likely to be squicked by something we see pictures of than I am.

   For example, anything that involves a lot of blood or any vomit he does not want to see.   Barf does gross me out, and it's not something that I would ever intentionally want to play with, but if he thinks something is that bad, he's not going to want it in our play either, not even just to torment me.   Blood doesn't bother me.  In some cases it can be hot.
Well, except for ATM.  He had me do that a couple times, just because he could, perhaps an an exercise of power or humiliation, but not on a regular basis.  It didn't even phase my stomach; I was just kind of "Oh, ok, I can do that".  

There are many things that used to gross me out, or that I thought "No way in hell will I do that" that don't even bother me at all now.  It is often just a matter of getting used to it, and then getting to like it.  It's how this stuff works for me, anyway.

I welcome any more questions or follow ups from ya'll!  

 

The Grand Canyon

Yay!  Questions in my inbox this morning (after other things-heh!)!

Thank you everyone!  I hope I will have lots more tomorrow!  

Sub Hub in Phx asks:

What is something you have never done in your life, but very much want to. The answer can be kink, D/s related or not!

I would very much like to see the Grand Canyon.  Master has told me I'll never see it, or that it doesn't exist, but this is more of a joke between us.  See, he's been there, when he was a kid.

When we were moving from Wisconsin to Las Vegas we drove right past it (well, it is a few hours off the highway, but what is a few hours compared to The Grand Canyon?) and I was the only one who wanted to stop and see it.  Master was all "I've seen it.  It's just a big hole in the ground".   My mom agreed with him that she just wanted to make it to Vegas.  And our very first kid, who was a little 1 month old baby said "Waaaaa!"  Can you imagine a worse road trip?  It took 3 days.  Oh yeah, and we also had 6 dogs and a cat in the car with us.   The cat didn't care, but I think the dogs were on my side about the canyon side trip.  Of course, they didn't speak up.

Master said we could make a trip down another time, but every time we made plans something would come up (like a freak snow storm) and we couldn't go. 

So, if it still exists, I'd like to go there some day.

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Kaya asks: 

1. Why aren't we neighbors? We should be.



I don't know.  It seems like this should happen.  We have some very nice property around here for sale, and Scott works in another country anyway.  We have an airport.  It's a plan!

2. What's your most memorable scene?





In spite of having many, many memorable ones since and before, it still is the Sunday Morning Whore Show.  That was just too fun.  Repeat! Repeat!  I neeeeeed it.  Here's a link for those who want to see:  Sunday Morning Whores

3. What is the biggest challenge you face in your submission?


 Getting a job.  I have that one little job I'm doing now, but we really need more money than that. 

4. Is there anything your M is not interested in that you wish he was? Is there anything he is interested in that you could take it or leave it?
 







For the first one, decorative cuttings.  I'd like to try that sometime.  I don't know if I'd like it, but it seems like it might be fun.  He has no interest, which is actually fine with me.  I'm not desperately in love with the idea or anything.  I'd also like to be tied to the bed routinely, or just a lot more bondage constantly.  But that one actually is one of his interests too, I'd just like it a lot more frequent than he does.  Every night, maybe. 

For the second one, service topping.  Sometimes he wants to be tied up for a slow teasing blowjob, or he might want me to top someone else someday, and the thought gives me the willies.  That is just not my thing,  soooo much not me,  but I'll do it if he tells me, because obedience.


5. Do you have clover clamps yet? If yes, what do you think of them? If no, give me your address. :D 

No, we don't have any good nipple clamps at all.  Just some poozly ones that fall off and a lot of clothespins (love the clothespins).  Did you lose my address?  Master was just here and said we could give it to you again if you did. 

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 Tori asks:
 
 1) When playing with others, have you ever been in a situation where you have not got on/liked one of the others or vice versa? if so how did you handle that

Oooh, what a tough question.  Since my blog is public, I can't give specifics, but yes.   I handle it by being obedient to my Master.  I told him up front (this was a few years ago) my reasons, which were all gut feelings and nebulous nervousness.  I still have those feelings of slight unease, that this may be a bad idea, but so far we have had no difficulty playing with the individual.  It's not a physical thing, but a mental one.

Actually, there was another time I was made uncomfortable at a rope demo, while being used as a demo model, not in a play session.  I didn't say anything during, but afterward I told my Master what I was thinking and feeling and said he kind of felt the same way (creeper vibes) and he would not let that person touch me again.   We haven't seen that person since then.  It would have been awkward for me immediately after to see him again, (what would I say? Should I say anything? What if he tried to touch me?) but now I think it would be ok.  He probably wouldn't even remember us.

I have no idea if anyone has been uncomfortable playing with me.   No one has said that, or refused to play a second time.  

2) Would both of you or either of you ever consider a permanent poly relationship..as in all living together?

Yes, if the right person came along my Master would consider having another live in slave or sub.  He's not actively looking though.  He knows it would be a lot of work.  Raven Kaldera's book, Power Circuits was an excellent read if anyone wants to learn more about people who are doing both poly and M/s relationships.   As long as I got along with her, I'd be up for it.  It is important to him that there would be harmony and agreement in this.

3) What would you consider your strengths as a slave?

I'm devoted, pretty easy going and mostly drama free, mentally and physically as sound as could be expected.  I like to be obedient and pleasing. I'm pretty malleable, but not incapable of expressing myself when needed.  Plus, and Master would probably put this at the top of the list, I'm very sexual and quite slutty, given a little encouragement.  

Anonymous asks:

 Your limits are those imposed by your Owner, however, is there something you could absolutely not do? If so, what and why?

There are many things I could not physically do, things that nobody puts on a limits list because they are too outrageous.  Lift a car. Fly.  Run 600 miles at one time.  Things like that.  I also could not jump off a cliff, unless it was a really short one or I was wearing a safety harness.  This is because back when we first discussed me giving up all limits, Master said I was under no circumstance EVER to jump off a cliff, not even if he ordered me to.  So, that was an order, and I will not do it.

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Thank you all, this has been fun, and difficult too!  
 

Three Blogs in One Day!

 March is blogger question and answer month, so I'm happy to answer ALL the questions you have for me.  Well, I would anytime, but this month especially. 
 Pretty please come up with some for me? 

Piracy, Tis a Victimless Crime. Arrrrr.

Oh, the year was 1778, How I Wish I Was A Twuntalope Now!
A letter of marque come from my Master,
To the sluttiest vessel I'd ever seen,
God damn them all!
I was told we'd cruise the seas for Twuntalope gold
We'd fire no guns-shed no tears
Now I'm a broken slave on a Twuntalope pier
The last of Barrett's Twuntalopes.

The Twuntelope slut was a sickening sight, How I Wish I Was A Twuntalope Now!
She'd a list to the port and and her clothes in rags And the hair on her cunt all shaggy and tags
God damn them all!
I was told we'd cruise the seas for Twuntalope gold
We'd fire no guns-shed no tears
Now I'm a broken slave on a Twuntalope pier
The last of Barrett's Twuntalopes.

 How I Wish I Was A Twuntalope Now!
 We were 91 days to Montego Bay
Pumping like madmen all the way
God damn them all!
I was told we'd cruise the seas for Twuntalope gold
We'd fire no guns-shed no tears
Now I'm a broken slave on a Twuntalope pier
The last of Barrett's Twuntalopes.

Fun with Twuntalopes

So, I managed to piss Master off last night.  Just enough that he ordered me to change my Fetlife name finally.  I know, it's not really a punishment, since I knew it was coming sooner or later that I would not be perfectly pleasing in all things.  And besides he thinks it is really funny.  I think it is funny too, now that I have gotten over myself.   But having him glare at me last night was the worst! I felt like I was 2" tall and like I was the stupidest idiot walking. 

What did I do?  Well, the new TV remote stopped working and I told him I broke it, and asked could he fix it.  We read the little booklet and nothing worked.

Today I called the cable company and they brought us a new one, which works fine.  I'm still stuck with my twuntalope Fet. name for the month, so I might as well learn to enjoy it.  

I feel a song coming on. 

Saturday Yumminess

Saturday started out with some pancakes and bacon.  After breakfast Master was giving me one of his "looks", the smoldering kind, and just the look inspired me to come to his feet and kneel. 
 I rested my head on his thigh while he played on the computer. 
 I don't know how long I was there, but he'd intermittently tease me by pulling my nipples or checking inside my pj bottoms to see how wet I was getting.  He let me touch his cock also.

It felt like he was teasing me for a VERY long time.   He had me talk dirty to him.  Once I asked plaintively if he wanted to beat me and fuck me now, but he said only "Not yet. Later."   I was so drippy and swollen-cunted I could barely walk across the room normally.

When he finally told me to go upstairs, he was right behind me punching me in the ass.   I stripped.   He tied my arms behind my back and took out the tire tread paddle.  He used it on the fronts and insides of my thighs, and on my cunt as I stood in the middle of the room.  It was painful even though he wasn't striking as hard as he does sometimes.  The ones that fell on my ass and backs of my thighs were much harder, to make me whimper.  When he rubbed the rough part of the treads across my cunt it felt amazing.  A rough pleasure.  He told me to come and I did, squishily.  

He propelled me to the bed and shoved hard as I reached it so that I fell forward on my face, helplessly unable to stop myself with bound behind me hands.  He manipulated me here and there like a great life sized doll, pushing me onto one side to cane my ass and thighs, then rolling me on my back to attach several clothespins to my labia. When he yanked them off one by one he made me orgasm again.   

He rolled me to my side again, and after more spanking with his hand and stick, he put me on my back and moved one clothespin right over my clit in an extraordinary pleasure/pain sensation spot.  The fucking was so intense that way.    I came hard several times before he removed the clothespin and rolled me over to my stomach to come inside me.   

He wasn't done yet though.  He used the misery stick on my breasts, which was extremely painful, especially the one direct hit on my right nipple.  I checked later to make sure the nipple was still attached properly.  It's a bit purple, but still on there!