Oh heck yes, I like to watch. I may do it from a distance, out of the corner of my eye, so as not to seem rude, or so as not to drool on people without their consent (heh), but I watch avidly none the less.
I don't enjoy watching people being intimate who think they are unobserved. Even the idea of that makes me uncomfortable. I like it when they know they are being watched and are doing it to be watched.
I don't get the same thrill from porn. It doesn't ever seem real to me, and I like real. Real people, with real bodies, not porn star bodies. Real moments of "ah shoot, I missed" or "whoopsie". Real grimaces of pain. Real emotions, not theater. Orgasms that are subtle, so you wonder "Did she or didn't she?"
Threats that actually scare ME, as an observer. It is a huge thrill.
What turns me on the most though is watching someone I love or care about a great deal play. I love their expressions when the play gets intense. I'll sometimes just be watching Mystique's face as she does fire play on someone else. The look of sadistic delight in her eyes turns me on more than the prettiest exposed body part of someone I don't know well.
I once watched Master take part in a gang bang scene. I didn't participate, but watching him made me feel way too excited to even think of jealousy.
I don't know if voyeurism has to go along with exhibitionism, but they do go well together.
Which kind of leads me into the other thing I was going to write about today, which was our morning of kink. This has a bit more to do with the exhibitionist side.
I was feeling a bit mopey. Again.
Master wasn't having any of it. Again.
He's determined to beat or fuck the sad out of me even if it takes all week. I'm not going to complain about that, as I always end up enjoying it even if I was slower to get started with the enjoyment than he'd like.
He smacked me around quite a bit while fucking me, then put me on the floor on my knees and whipped me until he'd given my cunt (and the rest of me) a thoroughly stingy, ouchie feeling. Then he took me again, and the pain down there from the whipping made the fucking even better.
Master put me on the bed, ass raised, and dripped on some lube. I knew where that was going now. First his finger, which was fine, nice feeling even, then his cock, bigger, much bigger, and seeming like it was never going to fit the first time he tried. I jumped out of the way and squeaked in pain. He put me back in position and shoved it in again. He rode me hard, until I was gasping and panting and screaming uncontrollably. He encouraged me to make more noise, no muffling pillow needed today.
When he was finished and I was reduced to a damp leaf on the bed, I asked him if he still planned to do that in front of people, a bunch of people, as he had mentioned before. He said yes absolutely, that would be just the best, making me scream like I had just done with an audience. Then he asked me if I'd like to watch others doing the same thing, or perhaps him doing it to someone else. I said, yes absolutely I would like to watch. I'm not proud. Heh.
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