Day 16: What are the most difficult aspects of having a sexuality that involves kink or BDSM for you personally?
The
hardest part is when I don't have any. I find myself desperately
wanting it, unable to have it, and feeling all out of sorts in my whole life because I haven't had a hard beating in a while. That's the most difficult part for me. Also, I hate, hate, hate asking for it (Yes, I do feel unslavey and all wrong asking, even though I try not to feel that way- wanting not to feel that way doesn't help how I actually feel). But I will ask anyway because am missing it so badly. Master encourages me to ask for it- sometimes he makes me ask or beg.
Then I end up feeling guilty either way: on one side, guilty for asking for something, or the other, guilty for not asking even though I know he would like me to. It's kind of a stupid situation to be in, but one that I don't know the way around.
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Ohhh, I understand that. I also hate asking for it, and I do it and when I don't get it I fight the urge to get cranky about it. haha. Way awesome slave behavior! Woot!
ReplyDeleteYes! Being "not cranky" can be more difficult than it sounds.
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