30 Days: The Ethics of Kink

Day 11: What are your views on the ethics of kink?

My views on what is ethical are based on whether there is consent on all sides.  I don't see cheating as ethical, because the one being cheated on has no ability to consent to something they don't know about.  That goes for on line only activities which are deceptive and hidden from a partner as well, not just in person sexual activity. 

I don't find deceiving people in a relationship to be at all ethical. If someone is just out for play and sex but promises love forever or a collar and ownership that is unethical.  There is often a factor of not knowing what will happen, which muddies this.  If someone means earnestly forever when making promises, but then it doesn't work out later, that isn't unethical, just unfortunate. 

I think blanket consent and CNC and full ownership, even to the point of no limits and not being allowed to leave, are ethical if both sides desire that kind of relationship and agree to it.   It should not be entered into lightly.

I don't think it is ethical to try to make someone be what they are not, what they have no desire to be.  So the business I commonly see of "How do I make my wife submit?" when she's not desiring that kind of relationship, that is not ethical.  On the reverse side, neither is "How do I make him/her be my Dominant?" when they don't want to be.  

Honesty and communication are what I'm coming up with as the two foundations of having good ethics in a relationship.  Really, that part is no different for kinky or vanilla relationships.