Earliest Inclinations

There was a time before I knew what I wanted to be, before I knew I wanted to be a slave, before I knew I was a masochist or a submissive.  

If I think back, things I didn't realize consciously for many years  may have had some roots in my mind even as far back as 5th grade.  I would have been 11.  Our classroom had a bookshelf with all sorts of novels, and every day after lunch there was a read aloud where the teacher, Mr. Duncan (one of the best teachers ever) read to us as we sat around the floor on pillows.  After he read a chapter we got the rest of the hour of quiet reading time.  Try doing that today in the action packed classrooms- ha!  Back then it was unusual but not impossible.  We could pick any book we wanted and read quietly, and it was the best thing ever.  I was an avid reader (still am).   

After I went through all the horse and dog books he had (not many) I found a book that I was always sort of embarrassed to enjoy.  It was called "Slave Boy" and it was about a Roman slave boy who goes through hardships and finally escapes.  I was fascinated by it, mostly by the hardships.  Not so much by the escaping part.    There was no sex in it, of course, since it was meant for 5th graders, but it was fascinating for other reasons that I couldn't name.   Now I can, though, because it was about power and servitude, about subjugation and slavery.  I think that topic has interested me for a very long time.   There were other books I read repeatedly about the same sort of thing, but that was the first one.