Bad, Dirty Bird

I was watching the Netflix show Tuca and Bertie yesterday and they had a really funny bit in the third episode.   They are trying to spice up their sex life, and Bertie (the female bird) says "What if you order me around?" and Sparkle (the male bird) asks if she wants a safeword, but she's like "Naaaaa".  He picks "Warm potato" anyway.

Then he spanks her, and calls her a "Bad, dirty bird" and she likes it at first, but then she starts to get sad, and she says "But I'm a good bird" and starts crying.  He apologizes and said he was just role playing. 

It was funny because I have been there, thinking he's serious when he's just playing.  

Mom of a High School Graduate

That's me now! 

I'm very proud of him.  It hasn't all been fun and games, but he stuck with it and finished.  Now, for college!  😭😄

Master is Always Right

I was horny Saturday morning, but Master didn't want to fuck because he was saving his load for a friend we were meeting later. I told him I didn't know if we were even planning to do that, as we were just planning to meet for dinner, but he told me better safe than sorry. So I told him SHE had a 23 year old Marine boyfriend, and probably wasn't interested in him. This inflamed him so that he beat me and took me hard and rough. Win one for the slave team! 

At least, that is the story, as he told it at the dinner table. Everyone laughed as I protested the story's complete lack of truth, which he admitted with a laugh.   It had just enough half truths to be a great story, while completely exaggerating the beating part, and the boyfriend part.  There was a Marine involved, though.

When we got home he decided I needed some "funishment" for contradicting him at the dinner table about his story.  He wasn't angry at all but it was a good opportunity for giving me a sound spanking and then making me apologize and recant everything and promise that Master is always right no matter what. 

Even when he's making shit up.

Wednesday

We had a perfect weather day yesterday, rare for us!  Seventy degrees, sunshine-y, just pretty.  Of course we spent a good part of it in bed, on the couch (well, I was on my knees and he was on the couch), in the kitchen (same again as above).   He told me to bring him something with which to beat me, and I picked out a cane.  He also picked out a belt and a whip.  After all that he flogged me too, which felt extremely nice. 


We spent the afternoon walking down by the river catching some Pokemon. 


I wasn't the perfect day, but it was pretty close. 

TMI Tuesday

1. What is the rudest thing you have ever done?


Probably something in an internet argument about politics. I have been known to say "dumbass".

2. What do you like more being a leader or follower? Why?

I'm definitely more of a follower.  I don't really like being in charge or telling people what to do.

3. If you are single, what do you miss most about being a couple? If you are in a relationship, what do you miss most about being single?

Nothing at all.  I can barely remember not being in a relationship. 
4. If you could hack into any computer whose computer would you hack?

I want to see if the President has that Russian prostitute pee video. 

5. If you could shop for free at one store (brick ‘n’ mortar, not online), what store would it be?

Fleet Farm!  Is that too low brow? I should pick a more expensive store, but Fleet Farm has everything I need.  Or else a car dealership.
Bonus: What is the biggest favor a friend has done for you? Do you feel you must return the favor?

She went to a school trip meeting with my kid for me, because I needed to stay with my other kid who was just getting out of anesthesia. I called her at the last minute to ask if she would.  We do things for each other all the time, so I didn't feel a pressing obligation to do something right back. 

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there!  And happy Dog Mom's day and Cat Mom's day to the pet lovers.  And happy Childfree Freedom day to the rest of ya'll lucky bastards.  

My Master had to work, so I spent the day doing fun things I wanted to do with the kids.   We went to a private screening of the Pokemon movie, for just our group of Pokemon Go-ers.  Turns out you can get the whole theater to yourselves if you have 25 or more people and go at a time when they aren't showing other movies, and pay matinee price.   Then we got some eggrolls and played games (the oldest is just getting into Magic the Gathering).  We took the dogs for a walk and tried to get the bicycle working, but that will take someone more expert than me.

Craving Cock

Do you ever wake up craving cock?  Needing to feel something hard and deep inside you?  Not really wanting all the extras like kissing, touching, oral sex and fingering, or implements of ass destruction.    Just the simplicity of cock pounding hole.

This morning I did.  When Master started to get up, I tempted him back for some kisses.  Then I grabbed the implement of my desires.  He had to go to work, so he told me it would have to be quick.  That was ok with me.  He slipped into me right away, though I wasn't the least bit wet.  It took awhile for my body to generate some lube, but I rather enjoyed the discomfort on the way there, which didn't quite reach the level of pain because he was going slowly.   He pulled my legs up over his shoulders and pounded me as the wetness grew.  Then he let me ride on top and use the Magic Wand until I came.  It was like a slow building series of orgasms, maybe 10, with the big one at the end when he told me I could come.  Or maybe that is one long orgasm, I'm not sure.  

He also came and then hopped up to get ready while I hopped up to make breakfast.   It was a nice start to the day.  His is going to be long at work. 

Molested By Pokemon

Today we had another long awaited play date with Dr.Peter. He had a flu for a long time, and we were dealing with a million and one things here, but finally the stars collided (or whatever) and we made it all together.  He made us a delicious lunch of dosas stuffed with potato curry.  It was amazing.  I don't just want to talk about food.  But I really like good food.

I also enjoy a hard play session, and this one certainly was.  My Master got very silly with the Pokemon on my phone, and added a bunch of them to the pictures he took.  The only picture that didn't have a Pokemon was on his phone and I don't know how to get it.  The top one is Heatran, and then Pikachu, of course.
 

Molested by a Heatran on my butt

What are you so happy about Pika?

Lightning Cheeks!

Is Pikachu zapping me or defending me from all comers?

Hard to say.

I got double teamed for a good few hours here, with all the canes you can see on the bottom photo off to the right, plus some wooden cutting boards that were new and a particularly fiendish 5 finger tawse.  If you look closely you can see all the fingers of that mark just behind Pikachu.   Then there was sucking and fucking and all of that good stuff.  

Saturday Party

Saturday we had a little play party after our munch and demo.  The demo was Mystique with a little rope tying up me and her sub.  This was a lot of fun, and got me ready for Master to take me to the back room, cuff me to the cross and begin whipping me with his belt. 

When he started digging through the toy bag I had brought, he discovered that every one of them was one of our meanest toys.  

The mean bag contained the machete, the rubber flogger, the whips, the dragon tail, and the tire tread paddle.   

He exclaimed to me that if he hadn't gone back and packed a second toy bag after the one I brought we'd have no "nice" toys, such as the soft floggers, at all.   I swear it wasn't on purpose though that I picked a bag with all mean things.  I just grabbed the first bag I came to, added some rope to it and went with that.  But it turned out that I had packed the two bags some time ago for a different outing when I was feeling particularly wimpy, and I'd put all the mean things in the bag I was leaving at home.  And that was the bag I had grabbed to bring on Saturday.  

My Master got several good laughs out of this and made sure to use all the really mean things on me (except the tire tread paddle which was hiding at the bottom) before he got to the floggers.   Then he finished up with an absolutely excruciating session with the machete that left my ass with some very nice bruises even still there today.  

TMI Tuesday

1. Can one masturbate too much?

Yes.  Sometimes I get cunt-burn from the vibrator.  That's too much. 
 
2. Do you masturbate daily?

No.
 
3. Do you masturbate significantly more than you have sex with another person?
A. Yes
B. No

B. No. 
 
4. Can you go one week without masturbating?
A. Yes
B. No
C. Only if I could have sex at least every other day


I could, but I wouldn't like it the first few days if I wasn't having sex either.  After a while without orgasms I think my desire goes down rather than up.


5. Are you comfortable casually admitting to others that you masturbate?
A. Yes
B. Depends on Who I’m Talking To
C. No

B. Definitely this one.
 
6. Would you be comfortable performing a masturbation “show” in front of your lover?
A. Yes
B. Maybe, Depends on the Personality of My Lover
C. No

A.  I am now.  I didn't use to be, but I have many times now.
 
7. Have you ever masturbated in a public place? Where? Why?
A. Yes
B. No

A. Yes. The car. Because I was really horny.
 
Bonus: Would you rather. . .
Never masturbate again?  OR
Have to masturbate five times a day, every day, forever?

The first one.  Masturbating 5 times a day is too much for me.  It would be super frustrating and take up too much time. 

Hardships of Being a Slave

My cunt is all sore this morning, from so much fucking.  Just kidding, that's a bonus not a hardship. 

We've been watching "Rome" again, and it makes both of us all hot. 

There were also beatings this week, which was fun. 

TMI Tuesday

1. I can flex my _____ .

Tongue.

2. My neighbor is out of control they tried to stuff my _____ .


Mailbox full of cookies!  Out of control in a good way.

3. If you were known as a do-it-yourselfer, what is it that you diy?

I would be an electrician and rewire the barn.  Although I'm scared of that so I never will be an electrician. 

4. Dear god look at the size of those _____.

Zucchinis!  This is what we'll be saying soon.

5. My morning _____ is the best.

Coffee.

Bonus: If you could watch a movie about everything that happened in your life thus far, would you enjoy that movie? How many stars would you give the movie, 1=terrible   5=best movie ever

It depends who's directing?