Friday, May 29, 2020

Slave

Why is the one word such a big deal?  Why so much importance and emotional impact, and consequences?  

We have attached a lot to one short word, slave, and there has been a lot of soul searching for me in the past few weeks thinking about what I want and don't want.  After writing the previous post, and weighing my fears versus what I want, and what my Master wants, I decided that those fears didn't justify throwing off the label "slave".  If I feel unappreciated and unfulfilled, things can possibly be changed that were making me feel that way.  More appreciation, more help with household things, more of the good sexy fun stuff I enjoy and not having to see sex as an unwelcome "You must do this" chore.  If that happens, being a slave doesn't have to suck.  It doesn't have to be a stupid choice.  However, there are two things in my mind.  1. This is how a slave acts.  2. This is how a free person acts.   Being a combination of those things?  Very confusing for me.  Being halfway between, how do I function without rules? I have in theory thrown off all the rules, and we are starting from scratch.   But what if I still feel submissive?  What if I still feel I am a slave even if I said I'm not?  I guess I'll go back to saying I am, but still with an asterisk "slave*".  
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1 comment:

  1. RozMay 30, 2020 at 12:57 AM

    We do put a lot on titles/labels. They can help us definite ourselves and make sense of things, but I think they can equally serve to limit us, thinking we have to fit some kind of mould.

    Submission isn't something we can switch on and off (IMO). You can still serve your Master with small acts of submission and who, knows, doing so may feed the Dom :)

    Hugs
    Roz

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