Happy Thanksgiving

Hey everyone, I hope your Thanksgiving (or normal Thursday) is wonderful!  We had our big dinner yesterday, with a couple friends coming over for a party of six.   There was a lot of food, so today is all about leftovers and relaxing.

Ten things I am thankful for:

 

1. I'm thankful for my Master's hard work.
2. I'm thankful that he loves me.
3. I'm thankful that he listens to me.
4. I'm thankful that he still thinks I'm hot and sexy.
5. I'm thankful that I'm able to serve him.
6. I'm thankful that he takes care of me.
7. I'm thankful that he expects me to serve him.
8. I'm thankful for the corrections he gives me.
9. I'm thankful that he likes to see me orgasm, lots.
10. I'm thankful for all the hugs and cuddles I get.

Talking and Ovesharing

 This may be oversharing, but I'm trying to get things straight in my mind so I can figure out what is going on in the jungle wilderness I call a brain.

 

We talked a lot last night.  I've been grumpy much of this week. I said I haven't been feeling very slavey. I'm doing all the things I'm supposed to, but not very well, and I'm not feeling good about it. I said I am having thoughts like "Sometimes I think it was a dumb idea to be a slave".  He said a lot of people throughout history have felt the same way.  I feel like he picks on me, I can't do anything right. He punished me, which made me feel worse, like I shouldn't have said anything. But he also told me some things I had done well this week, and made me come up with three more things that I thought I had done well. He apologized for picking on me about my sewing (it hasn't gone well). He told me I have to see a dr about my arm, and if I need to stop fencing because it hurts too much all the time I can. I really enjoy fencing, but I don't enjoy being in pain all the time. He told me if I feel like I need to renegotiate some things then I should come to him and tell him that so he can "Shut that shit down" which oddly (or perhaps not) makes me feel good that he's not willing to give up on me just because I'm feeling negative.
Also, we had sex but I didn't enjoy it. When he asked if I enjoyed it I told the truth, not really, and why, and he said that's ok because he enjoyed it and it's good to use me. Which makes me partly sad but partly content that at least I pleased him. It's so complicated having feelings. They don't all go one way or another. I got pretty much everything off my chest, and it was ok. I got lots of hugs and reassurances.

Diet Update Success

As of the last WW meeting, I have lost 12 lbs!  This is a great success for me, because I (along with most people my age and gender) find it terribly hard to lose weight.  The next challenge is sticking to it.

TMI Tuesday. Bird Afterlife.

1. Do you think taking a break in a relationship works? Have you taken a break? Why do you say it worked or did not work?


In my opinion, taking a break is the first step to a break up.  Like, let's see how this break up goes, and then later get on with the real thing.  In some small number of cases the break doesn't become permanent, but no, as a fixer tactic I think it rarely works.  I've never done it.

2. What is your ideal “break” in a relationship: a. we stay monogamous but relax expectations on each other and each other’s time b. we can see/date other people c. we can take time to explore sex with other people d. take a break but there is no discussion about seeing other people

Ideally, no break (up) is needed.  You can have these discussions and non monogamy without that step.

3. Currently, how many healthy relationships do you have? How many unhealthy or toxic relationships do you have?

I don't keep any toxic relationships, so I would say they are all healthy.   How many? It depends on how you count relationships.  If you say all family and friends in relation to me, then I have so many I can't count, but not all of them are that close.  If it's just romantic relationships, then probably just my Master.  Play partners?  Maybe 2-I'm counting Mystique who I love (but not romantically any more)- we play rarely, and also Dr. Peter who I like a great deal but am not in love with- we play maybe once a month.  None with any regularity, and some number more than two with great irregularity.

4. Are there limits to your sexual creativity?

I'm not the creative one here.  I just know what I like- which is mostly being told what to do.  I like Master being creative!

5. What one item in this life do you want to take to the afterlife?

 (For the purposes of this questions just assume there IS an afterlife)

I feel in my gut there is not an afterlife, but if there is I'll probably be reincarnated, and I'm hoping I get to be a bird. In Florida.  A Floridian bird sounds perfect, and then I won't need anything but maybe some twigs for my nest. 

Bonus: What life-altering thing should every human ideally get to experience at least once in their life?
Travel to different countries.  I think it's very broadening to see new things and meet different people.

Busy Day Yesterday

Yesterday was the day we took the lambs to market.  We also had to bury a dead sheep.  She was one of the older ones, but not super old, not old enough to suddenly be dead.  In the morning she had a slightly swollen face, and then at night- dead.  People who think farm life is listening to birds in the morning and cute, fluffy lambs all day should realize that it has just as much death and mess as pretty and sweet to balance it out. 

The day started out when I went to buy sheep food.  I got 200 lbs, plus a big bag of cat food.  I was going to find someone at the store to help me, but no one was handy and I didn't want to wait around, so I loaded it.   Then I got home and had to sort the sheep for feeding.  I'm trying to keep the greedy ones from pushing the small ones away from the food, so I use a dog (Pepper) to separate them and keep them separate until they have eaten.  Big, pushy greedy sheep find their way back through the fences and gates as soon as I leave, so just keeping two groups doesn't work.  

I came inside for a snack and then went back out to sort sheep with Sprite for a herding lesson.  The client dog is kind of rowdy, so I wanted some larger ones who weren't pregnant.   This took me about half an hour to accomplish as they were not cooperating.  By the time I finished, the student had arrived and we did her lesson. 

 The dog is showing a big improvement from a few weeks ago, which is encouraging.  I put all the sheep back together afterward, wishing I could save out my good herding group, and then went inside.  I was so tired and cold (it was 14 degrees) that I was almost ready to cry.  Master told me to come sit by the fire with him, which was very cozy.   He had made a fire and done laundry while I was out. 

Once I was rested he said it was time for my slave-duty of getting him off.   He asked what I wanted and I, of course, said "Whatever you want, Master".   He took me upstairs and fucked me with the dildo and used the vibrator on me.  I had a hard time coming (again) but finally I did, then he came inside me.

It was about 1:30 when we finished and Master said we should start getting the trailer ready for the sheep.  First we had to push it into position, and get it hooked up to my van, and then build some makeshift panels from the barn door to the trailer.  All this took about an hour, while the actual loading of the sheep, with Sprite behind them to keep them going the right way, and me and Master helping them up the ramp, took about 10 minutes. 

Did I mention we were having a nice little snow shower all this time?
Oh yeah, lovely.

But the sheep loading went better than it usually does, with no escapees getting past us and running around the yard this time.

Master drove and Sprite and I rode along, down to the butcher, only about 10 miles, but with slick roads and snow it was nerve racking.  Then backing up the trailer was a pain in the butt with the space he had to work with, not to mention snow and ice.  I was glad it wasn't me because I'm terrible at backing trailers anyway.  When I used to go to the other butcher farther away by myself I would always get out my helpless female card and ask the guy there to back my trailer for me. 

 Sprite was puzzled why we returned home with no sheep.  She kept looking for them. 

Then we still had to unhook the trailer, push it to the barn, take down the makeshift chute and bury the dead sheep.  The ground was frozen, so this was hard even though someone had cleverly dug a hole already a month ago.  There was still the frozen earth to chip out and fill it in.   It made me sad for the sheep and worried that I didn't know what was wrong with her or if it was something that might affect the rest of the flock.

My arms and back were ready to die by then, and I spent most of the evening curled up on the couch with tea and television.  Master went fencing without me.   I had planned ahead to have crock pot soup, so no cooking needed, but there were still somehow a lot of dishes to do before I collapsed into bed.   

No Shave November

Master has decided it is No Shave November for me again, so I'm not allowed to shave anything, not legs, not armpits, nothing.  Sigh. 


In completely non related news, I woke up super horny yesterday.  Master played with me a little bit but then he left.  I went right back upstairs and started using my toys.  I was going to edge a little and wait until he got back to come (it wasn't going to be long) but that didn't work out well.  I came almost immediately.  When he got back he asked if I was going back to sleep, because I was there under the covers.  I said I was just waiting for him.  He was surprised to find the dildo still inserted in me and everything all wet from my play.  He didn't waste anytime removing it and inserting himself instead.  I had a few more orgasms, so it was a very fun beginning to the day. 

Stories my Master Tells

We had a house full of people (my mom and also the college kid came to visit) so all our sex on the weekend (yes, we still did) was quiet and relatively quick. 

This morning, everyone is gone and just me and Master are at home.   He started out having me suck his cock as I knelt on the kitchen floor.  He ordered me to go upstairs, put on my collar and something sexy and come back down with a beating implement for him.  It felt absolutely FREEZING in the house with only my sexy nightie on, and he kindly allowed me to crank up the heat a few degrees.  He began warming up my back and ass with the cane I brought down, so that was helpful.  

He took me upstairs and once in our room, he drew back one hand to slap my chest.  I kind of dodged back, but he ordered me to stand forward and keep my hands behind my back.  I had to look right at him too, while I waited for the blows.   That was the hard part, the looking.  It's much easier with my eyes closed.

After slapping me a few times he got the floggers out and I had to do the same thing, facing toward him, getting flogged on the breasts.  I lasted until a harder one caught me across both nipples at once and then my hands came up to protect my sensitive bits.

"A slave never learns", he commented sternly, and he took out a leather strap to tie my hands behind my back.  He also put my gorget around my neck.  I made it to protect my neck during fencing, but it also makes a rather effect posture collar for this situation.  

This isn't mine, it's evidently from Albania, but mine is pretty much the same. 

When Master had me down and was fucking me, my arms tied, my neck constrained in metal and leather, my butt plug in place, it was the best feeling ever.  I was trapped in every way and not getting out of it.  Just the way I like it. 

He began telling me a story, as he often likes to do. 

This one was about going to an SCA event where we ran into this pretty woman who enticed us on a hot day to go off into the woods and find a stream pool to skinny dip with her.  She began teasing my Master by leaning her large breasts over toward him, and lying back and opening her legs to show off her shaved cunt.  Then she began focusing on seducing me (so the story went) by standing above me and shoving my face in her cunt using my hair as a handle.  I really liked this story.
Soon we were both sharing his cock, or taking turns fucking and sucking, and I was imagining back to a time when we had really done all this with one of our friends.  So beautiful and hot.
Thinking this way made me come (again).  

After a good long fuck Master turned me over and came inside me from behind.   This is just what I needed.