Monday, March 19, 2018

TMI Tuesday: The Life You Want

1. Who was the first person you ever had a crush on? Why did you like them?

There was a kid in grade school I liked because he always invited me to play 4 square.
2. What is the most important material possession you have and why?

Probably the house and barn.  I'm pretty attached to this property.  It's just so pretty and suits all my needs for now.  Although once I get really old I may appreciate a move to the south so as to avoid snow shoveling and ice.  Who knows?
3. If you were a cake which cake would you be?

A delicious one with tons of frosting.  

4. Has anything/anyone every saved your life before?

When I was less than two I tottered behind the car of a very old and deaf neighbor as he was backing slowly out of his driveway. I was knocked over and my large homemade leather moccasin was trapped under the tire of his car.  My mom was there waving frantically for him to stop, and then go forward (NOT BACKWARD!), so she saved me then from being crushed as I lay directly in back of the tire.  And the neighbor saved me by listening to her and understanding.   I don't remember any of this; I only know from being told. 

Later, some doctors saved me from dying of a burst appendix. 

5. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Gosh, do I want to fly or do I want to remember whatever I set my mind to?  One of those, I think.    

Bonus: Do you have a dream you’re pursuing? Tell us about it.

I'm dreaming right now of training this puppy I have to be a great stockdog and to trial with her some day.

Sunday, March 18, 2018

Kinky St. Pats

We went to a kinky St. Patrick's Day party Saturday night and got a door prize for showing up- nipple clamps with bells on them! 

Master had great fun making them jingle while he was fucking me this morning, and they felt really good to me too- until they came off, and then it was AGONY!   

Friday, March 16, 2018

Fit For Friday 7

3/9  7 carbs, 20 minutes of barn mucking and a 20 minute walk

3/10 10 carbs, 35 minutes of barn mucking and a 40 minute walk

3/11  7 carbs,  1.5 hours of (slow) walking while we played Pokemon on Sunday

3/12  7 carbs, one 20 minute walk 

3/13 10 carbs, a 40 minute walk 

3/14   was Pi day, not a day for diets, obviously. The older kid and I made a meat pie for dinner, and I made strawberry rhubarb for dessert.  With ice cream.  Yum!   I also went for two walks- 40 minute power walk and a 35 minute one at night.  

3/15 5 carbs only, and a 40 minute walk at a pretty good pace.

And this is exciting:  these are my pants that were getting too tight in the tummy before I started my diet.  Now I'm ready to go back to my smaller pants that were put off to the sidelines.

The scale... was ambivalent.  I have either lost a pound or stayed the same since last week.  It keeps changing when I step on and off and then on again.  I need a better scale.  The pants don't lie, though.  I have lost about 13-14 pounds since I started the diet and exercise.

Thursday, March 15, 2018

Pi Day

It was Pi day yesterday, so of course there had to be pie!

It was a good time to go off the diet, for one meal anyway.


Tuesday, March 13, 2018


This morning Master told me to wake him up before noon and be ready to fuck.  He hadn't got any sleep the night before (work) so this was his night-time. 

 Just before noon I snuggled under the covers with him until he woke up and started fucking me.  He stopped then and said, not really as a question, "You need to be beaten though."  I agreed. 

He told me to get out of bed, get a blanket on the floor and kneel on it.   He stood in front of me, his cock straining toward me for attention, which was so hot.  I reached forward with my mouth, but he pulled back, teasing me a couple of times before he let me have it.  Just as I had fully engulfed him the really heavy red stick came down on my backside, and then again in the same spot.  I struggled to maintain my position an instantly was slightly whimpering.  This soon turned to sobbing because he was beating HARD.  The lighter whippy canes also came down hard on my ass, then he made me come.  There were great gushing squirts, so it was a good thing I had the waterproof blanket down.   

He took out the leather tawse and beat my shoulders and back with that.  Then he had me stand and whipped me with the belt.   He fucked me quickly and too soon it was time for a shower.  It was all fast and furious and my back is pretty sore now, but in a nice way, to remind me. 

Monday, March 12, 2018

TMI Tuesday: SEX

1. Do you have a special place you like to have sex regularly?

It's the bedroom.  I know, I'm hardly unique in that

2. What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever done? The scariest?

Giving birth.  It was the hardest and scariest too.

3. Are you annoying?


4. A person whom you’ve had “the hots” for a very long time tells you they are super attracted to you. You spend a few hours together and the sexual attraction is overwhelming. You are dying to have this person as your lover. At the moment you are highly aroused, and he/she wants to have sex with you in a church, would you do it?

Since I already have had sex in a church, that would be yes.  Of course, it would be with my Master, or only on his orders if someone else.

5. While in the middle of the best lovemaking of your life, if your lover asked you to squeal like a dolphin, would you?

Of course. I've done worse than that. 

Bonus: Are you good in bed?

I like to think so.  I have gotten rave reviews. :)

And a bonus series of pictures from Master's homecoming: 

More TMI Tuesday blogs:

Sunday, March 11, 2018

Lamb Care

Since there were quite a few comments about what is involved with the lambs I thought I'd write about that too.
Most of it is observation.  Observation and carrying buckets of water.   My hose is frozen and so I have to carry the buckets of water to them.  Even if I unfroze the hose, hooking it up and unhooking it and draining it after every use is just as much work, so I elect to carry buckets.  They generally get 5-6 buckets in the morning and another 4 at night.  I have them divided into two stalls right now, and then the boys are outside.

Observing the lambs is intensive at first, to make sure they are moving around well, eating normally and keeping warm.  If they are standing weird that can go from "looks weird" at one visit, to dead lamb at the next, so I really watch them each time.   If they get cold I bring them in the house to warm up.  If they seem lethargic I supplement them with a bottle at first, but I really want to leave them with their mom as much as possible, so I take the bottle out there to them.  

Then there is the cleaning out of the stalls when they get too mucky.  That's pretty heavy and long work.  I move the sheep into clean stalls, clean out the dirty. 

I feed them all hay twice a day, and some pellet food in the morning for the pregnant or nursing ewes.  

Observing the ewes is important too.  Anyone that isn't eating or is standing weird or rejecting her lambs probably needs extra attention.  

The lambs all get ear tagged and written down in my notebook so I can keep track of them.   The ewes get de-wormed.   Eventually the male lambs will get castrated.  Master has to help me with that last because it is a two person job.  

Saturday, March 10, 2018


We had a full day of kid things today, and when the last of the guests had left Master was dancing me around the kitchen.  He asked if I was ready to fuck.  I said yes, and then I added, "But it wouldn't really matter if I wasn't interested, would it?"

He said "Sure it would.  If you don't want to, that makes it even more fun." 


Master is Home!!

He got home from Las Vegas yesterday and I'm so happy he's back.  I was getting lonely.  He had a GREAT trip, so that was wonderful.   The Pokemon in Las Vegas are everywhere!

Friday, March 9, 2018

Fit For Friday 6

3/2   13 carbs.  30 minute walk and 20 minutes of mucking the barn.

3/3   Many carbs.   I went out to eat with our munch group and had the General Tso chicken which is delicious.  I ate the whole thing, but only  little of the rice.  I also took Puppy for a 40 minute walk in the park and started teaching her tracking.  She is such a smart little thing.

3/4   12.5 carbs.  One 30 minute walk and 30 minutes of mucking the barn.  I got the older kid to help me with the mucking because I was really wearing out on that.   

3/5   23 carbs.  Dr. Peter made me tikki masala for lunch, so it was a bit more than normal, but healthy types of food still, and not a huge portion.  That is very much an estimate.  I did 20 minutes of yoga and no walking because I have felt very worn out after our play session (2 hours. Not including lunch). 

3/6    6 carbs.  Snow!  Spent an hour shoveling, both snow and in the barn, and also went for a 30 minute walk, inside.  

3/7   11 carbs.   Spent 40 minutes mucking the barn (you would not believe the muck).  One 20 minute walk outside and then a 25 minute walk.

3/8    7 carbs.  20 minutes of mucking in the barn and 20 minutes of walking outside.   I spent most of the day dealing with kid stuff and lambs.  Busy, busy!  I still took time for Pokemon and walking while I played.  

This morning I weighed in and have lost one more pound! 

Thursday, March 8, 2018

Kinky Blogger Party

Jz asks (such a fun question!)

OK, you're hosting a Blogland party and We're All Coming!!!
I won't make you choose the guest list (just hold it in the barn, we'll all fit!) but I do want to know if you'd prefer to choose the menu (if so, what?) or just do potluck?
Also, what kind of games will you have us do for ice breakers?

I think I will serve dinner, because a lot of you must be flying in and flying with potluck dishes isn't that fun.  So, for starters we will have some hatch chili cheese puffs (these are easy because they come frozen).  Then we are going to have some pork tenderloin, which is tasty.   Some vegetables.  And for dessert --PIE! What else?   Another pie, probably.  At least 2.  Maybe I will get carried away and make three.   Needless to say, this is not the day for diets.   

If it is summer time, my Master will probably cook everything on the grill (not the pie though).  

Our first game is who can shuffle around the kitchen filling their plate without tripping on one of the dogs.  LOL

Just kidding.  I'm not that great at party ice breaker games, but I think Bears Vs. Babies is a lot of fun, and maybe some Cards Against Humanity.   If we are having kinky games it could be "Pin the Tail on the Naked Ass". 

Kinky Realizations

Olivia asks,

When did you first realize you were into kink? What happened, or what were the circumstances around that realization? 

My realization happened in 2011.  That wasn't the first time we'd done anything that could be considered kinky, and it wasn't the first time I'd had fantasies that were pretty out there.  I think I have always had those, at least as early as I can remember.  However, I didn't think they were anything that could be acted on, or that it was even desirable to act on that sort of thing.  I'd think about them when masturbating, but that's about it. 

 In 2011 my Master and the kids went off to California without me and I was sitting around playing on the internet a lot.  I looked up some BDSM sites (which I had been reading on and off for at least 10 years).  But this time the people I found in a forum made it seem like this could be real life, not just a fantasy story.  I wanted to try it.  So I asked Master when he got home if we could.  He thought some aliens had given me a new brain, but he was pretty thrilled with the amount of things I was suddenly willing to do.   

Thanks for asking, Olivia!

Wednesday, March 7, 2018

What I'm Doing This Week

While Master is gone, the sheep are lambing.  I'm out there for hours every day making sure everyone is healthy and comfortable, with plenty of food and water and cleaning.  We have had 7 lambs born since Saturday.

About the M/s relationship, When and How

Amy's Question: Did you begin the master/slave dynamic before you were married or did it happen later? Also, is this your first master/slave relationship or had either of you been involved in something like this beforehand?

We got married in 1993.  It was basically vanilla and egalitarian until 2011 when I started reading some BDSM porn sites and brought up the idea to him of spanking and doing more bondage.  We had done some of the latter, every now and then, but it wasn't a huge part of our sex life, only an occasional spice.   He said yes, he'd try it, so we started playing around with it a bit more, and I really, really liked it. I liked being submissive to him, and he liked it a lot too, getting his way in everything!   It just snowballed from there until I was his slave.  I'd say that process took about 3-4 months.    Neither of us had been involved in anything like that with another person before.  I didn't even know it was a "thing" that people did.  

Tuesday, March 6, 2018

Can't Change Now

Bleue d'ame asks: 

Q: Is there something that you can't change right now but are looking forward to changing in the near future?

Gosh, this is a really hard question.  

I feel kind of guilty saying it, but I'm kind of looking forward to the time when Master and I can take little mini vacations together without worrying "What are we going to do with the kids?"   They are getting older and more independent by the second, which I enjoy watching.  I'm not one of those moms who wants to keep them babies forever.  I like the growing up process.  

Me? Topping? Yes.

It's a whole different kind of fun than being on the bottom, more akin to giving someone a massage, and making them happy that way.
It really felt much easier for me to top someone else, who's not my Master. I didn't have that "wrongness" feeling about it, and plus I already knew that he really loves caning and has taught a lot of people to do what I was doing. I really didn't get any dom head space at all, but he was walking me step by step through the whole thing, giving a lot of directions. I did get a little rush of excitement at times, but didn't find it very erotic.  I think I was concentrating too hard on learning and doing it right.  To give a good caning, an erotic caning, there is a lot more involved than simply applying the cane to a backside willy nilly.  I even did some gentle ball whacking with a leather strap when he asked me to, and it was ok.  Nobody died. I told my Master later about that and he said "Don't get any ideas about doing that to me".   Giggle, of course not. 

The best part was the little noises of pain/pleasure. And the welts, feeling the warmth of his skin. That was pretty cool too.

Although, we then switched and he caned me and it was great! He said I seemed to respond even more than usual.  When I get caned, it is like having sex for me.  It is a real high.  I was thrashing and coming all over the place. 

It seems my fears have been soothed.

Report Abuse

Question from Amy:

I like your "report abuse" statement on the blog as I had a very abusive relationship in my past. My question is, did you have one that was abusive and is that why you took the time to post those two important words? And, if so, how did you know the difference when you got in this relationship?

I'm sorry you had an abusive relationship in the past.
This is the first time I noticed that button!  I think blogger put it there, not me.
This is actually my first serious relationship, so I've never experienced an abusive situation.  

Monday, March 5, 2018

TMI Tuesday: My Anonymous Town

1. What food(s) is your city/country known for?

The USA is known for a lot of foods, mostly adopted from other places, so I'm going to choose a local one.  We have paczkis here, because this area had tons of Polish immigrants.  It's a lot like a donut, and like most Polish words, completely counter intuitive to pronounce for English speakers.  

You say paczki something like "poonch-key".

2. What should people do when visiting your city?

It is such a small town, I don't know.  There are lakes to fish, trails to hike, and there is a brewery that gives tours and as many samples as you can handle.  

3. What do people do when they come to your home?

They have to pet my dogs.  The dogs insist.  

4. What should people expect when they visit you?

A lot of dogs?

Bonus: If you were chair who would you like to have sit on you?

A very small, cute puppy.  

 For more TMI Tuesday blogs:

Nervous and Vulnerable

Today is the morning of my rendezvous with DrPeter.  There is a major difference this time which has been feeling more nervous than normal and weirdly vulnerable.   We had talked months ago about me topping him, and I said at that time I wasn't feeling into it.  I talked to my Master about it too, and he basically left it up to me.  He wasn't going to prohibit me from doing topping, but he wasn't going to order me to do it either.   So I just put in the back of my mind as a "Nope" and it simmered there, but then last month it started coming to the top of my mind as a "Maybe I could..."
I thought about it for a whole week before coming to the decision that I was going to try it.  Then it took me another two weeks to come up with the courage to type it out in a message.  I have to face a lot of fears in deciding to do this.  Maybe it will turn out to be no big deal at all, or really fun, but I have a lot of fear.

What if I start but then I get angry? (Why would I get angry, well, I don't know, only that the few times my Master told me to hit him with an implement, I felt uncontrollably and unreasonably angry). What if I feel sick to my stomach?  What if I feel angry and sick to my stomach?
What if I am bad at it?  What if I hit the wrong spots accidentally?
What if I find it totally unarousing?  What if I'm good enough at it that he wants me to do it all the time and I never get my turn for being the bottom again?   What if it makes me change my view of myself?

Favorite Movie and Childhood Memory

A question from Roz:  

 What is your favourite movie? Favourite childhood memory?

My all time favorite movie, that I have watched over and over and partially memorized, is The Princess Bride.  It hits all my humor buttons just right.  I have also read the book a few times.

I have many favorite memories from childhood, but the one I'm thinking of right now is when my cousins would all meet up at my grandparents farm in Oklahoma.  We'd run all over the place, exploring.   The giant pile of cotton seeds in the barn was an especially fun time.  It was like having a huge snow pile to play on, only without the coldness.   Man, we must have been some dirty kids! 

One summer my oldest cousin, a year older than me, spent months there and tamed a field of bulls to come and eat out of his hand.  I got brave enough to go out there an offer them a handful of cow cake from my hand, which was a pretty special experience.  A Hereford bull is a BIG animal.   

No bull, they looked just like this one.

Sunday, March 4, 2018

Bridges on Fire

Question from Lea (Thank you, thank you!):

What bridges do you not regret burning?

I have burned very few bridges, over a life time, I think. I am more the type to let friendships fade away through inaction (especially if they are doing the same) than to actually burn anything.  

 However, in the past 7 years I have met more people, become intimate with more people, and also definitively lost more friends than in the previous 20 years.  

I would say there are two that I have burnt the bridge completely and by my own actions.  I don't regret them at all.  I regret that it took me a while to do it, that it turned into deeper friendships than maybe it should have if I had realized sooner it wasn't in my best interests to get involved with certain people.  But I can't really say I regret how it ended because I would do the same again.  One of them was just a friend and the other was a friend and also sometime play partner.    Then there are all the collateral friendship complications because we all run in the same circles.  I try to ignore that as best as I can.  If someone wants to remain friends with both and not take sides, I can be ok with that. 

Saturday, March 3, 2018

Questions and Answers

March is blogger question month, so if there is anything you are curious about, always wondered, pondering or  want to ask for any other reason that is about us, please ask!  I would love a few questions, especially this week.  


Las Vegas, Baby!

Well, not me.  But my Master is going to Las Vegas today for a week long conference and I'm staying here to hold down the fort with the kids and animals.   
I've been trying to think about other things rather than how I'm going to miss him, like having dinner tonight with some friends and planning to see Dr. Peter on Monday.  After that, who knows?  Maybe a haircut and a lot of Pokemon hunting.  

Friday, March 2, 2018

When You Give a Mouse a Cookie

When you give a slave (ok, maybe just me) a cookie, she will eat 10 cookies, and then probably a box of donuts because the diet is dead anyway.   So, that is the reason why, when my Master offered me ONE cookie this morning, I said I didn't want one.  It's easier to have none than just to have one taste which brings the cravings for sugar down like a ton of bricks again.  

So the cookies are all gone to work with Master (the kids ate some) and I'm relieved.  

Fit for Friday Five

 I did not eat any cookies and I lost two lbs this week.  Not that those are directly related, since you can't lose weight by avoiding one thing, but both involved a lot of will power.  

Here's the whole week:

2/23  10 carbs.  1.5 hours of walking in three separate walks.

2/24   Not really sure, but about 54 carbs for the day.  That was Saturday when we went out to eat.   2.5 hours of walking outside.

2/25 9 carbs.  1 hour of walking outside.

2/26  11 carbs.  20 minute walk outside.

2/27   12 carbs.  40 minutes of walking outside.  45 minutes mucking out the barn (way sweatier than walking).    It was a beautiful day, really not like February in Wisconsin at all.

2/28  8 carbs.   35 minutes of walking outside and about 1.5 hours mucking in the barn (it's not done yet either). 

2/29 7 carbs.  22 minutes of zumba, 35 minutes of walking outside and about 20 minutes of barn mucking.  I'm tired. 

Fondles FFF blog:

Thursday, March 1, 2018

The Cruelest Task Of All

Being a slave isn't all fun and games, right?

But today's task seems unusually cruel to me.

This week is evidently Master's turn to bring a snack for the Friday meeting at work,  and they LOVE my cookies there.  So he told me to bake some cookies for them today. 

You all know (I think) how hard I have been working on my low carb diet, and maybe you don't know, but I have a hard time with temptations.  And I love cookies.  When I bake, I'm eating, so that's the real reason I love to bake.  

My plan for the day is to bake all these cookies and eat none of them.    

Wish me luck and mostly willpower, folks. 

Monday, February 26, 2018

TMI Fill in the Blank

1. _____ call.

Safe call.  This is the first word I thought of.  Someone should know where you are if you go on a blind date with an unknown person.  Even better, do it in public. 

2. _____ to me baby.

Talk to me, baby.  It's pretty sexy, except for the baby part.  No one calls me that, nor do I say it.  Except to my dog who is a "baby cookie face". 

3. _____ and _____.

Syrup and butter are so good on pancakes.  And I can't eat them. I miss pancakes.

4. Sex bloggers are _____.

Sex bloggers are hot stuff!

5. _____ really need to _____.

I really need to walk outside today.  It's beautiful!

6. You should be _____.

You should be eating your vegetables!  Do as I say, not as I do.

I have never been able to ____ long enough.

  I have never been able to remember stuff long enough.  Except for some stuff.  But not what my appointments are. Or poems or phone numbers.

8. Do you wanna _____?

 Do you wanna _____? Uh huh, uh huh, do you wanna, uh huh, uh huh.  Isn't this a song?

9. My _____ get mad at me for _____.

My kids get mad at me for forgetting what they like to eat.  Mainly the younger one because he keeps changing it.

10. When my alarm clock goes off, I _____.

 When my alarm clock goes off, I snuggle up to my Master for the second snooze time.  This morning snuggles turned into sex, yay!

11. I look forward to _____ this year.

I look forward to kinky camping this year.  Tryst doesn't work in our schedule again, but we are going to try a small, cheaper one instead.   I hope it will be fun! And not rain!

12. _____ is one of my favorite toys.

Lego is one of my favorite toys.  I bet you weren't expecting that answer.  I still play with them.

Link to TMI Tuesday blog:

Saturday Night Adventure

Saturday night we went with Mystique and hasufel (her sub of 4 or 5 years now) to a play party down south.   First we had dinner at a place I picked (Dr. Peter suggested it to me) which served Peruvian food.  I hadn't ever eaten Peruvian food so I was intrigued.  It was good, but maybe not spiced enough for some of us.   I had a pork sandwich with sweet potato fries IN the sandwich, which was unexpected but delicious.  Mystique and hasufel don't like spicy so it was good for them.

Before that we had gone to our local Pokemon Go community day, just Master and me for that one.   Just imagine a bunch of crazed Pokemon-ers running around on the university campus in 25-30F degree weather with a stiff breeze blowing, capturing all the Dratinis (normally a very rare crittter).  It was cold but we were warmed by fun somewhat.  After almost 3 hours I was quite stiff and sore anyway, even with all the fun-warmth.    Then we had to run home, change clothes, let dogs out, and head out to dinner and the party.  

Once we had settled in and finished socializing, Master took me to a cross in the corner of the dungeon.  I stripped off all my clothes and he got the ropes ready to tie a harness on me.   I was already getting excited as he had me raise my arms and turn this way and that until he was finished tying.   He directed me to step up to face the cross and the first thing I felt was his belt snapping me.  He used the new leather straps as well, and then gave me a nice long flogging.   There was a pause when he had me step away and he put the hood on me.  As I felt my way back to the cross blind I could feel myself slipping away partially into space.  The music was muted and I was more alone, except for the physical connection to my Master as the floggers continued to fall on me. 

He hit me with several canes, and other implements that I'm not even sure about, and right about the point when I was ready to stop, it was really hurting, he asked if I was ready for the grand finale. 

I said yes.

He told me it was going to be ten hard ones with the tire tread paddle, an extremely severe implement.  

Tire tread paddle:

Wicked, huh?

One. Two. Three. All hard ones on my ass.  Four and five were on each of my shoulders.  Six and seven were even more painful.  At eight I began to cry quietly.  Nine and ten finished me off.  


And then: Eleven. Hey!   That was an extra for good luck, I guess.

But now he really was done and he turned me around and held me tight.  It felt amazing to be his and wrapped his arms.  As soon as he had unhooded me and I'd cleaned up our station he led me into a quieter back room where he pushed me to me knees and had me suck him.  Then I laid down our towel and blanket on the floor and he fucked me.  We could here people talking just around the corner but I couldn't tell if they peeked in or not.  There was no door or anything so I didn't really expect privacy.  He slapped my face a bunch, which made me come hard.   He finished inside me while in doggy style position on my hands and knees.  As below.

Here's the effects on my butt, picture taken Sunday night:

A close up:  

Master was funny Sunday morning.  He commented after looking at me naked, "Have you seen your butt today?  I must have been pretty hard on it last night!"  

I noticed!

Saturday, February 24, 2018

Happiness is...

My mouth and nose taste like piss and the scars and scabs from Tuesday's whipping are starting to itch. I could not be any happier about this.💗💖

Friday, February 23, 2018

Ask Nicely

Last night Master was using me quickly before bed and he told me if I asked nicely he would put the nipple clamps on me.

Well, I just lay there and didn't say anything.  I was hoping my face was saying "no clamps is just fine for me".  But he looked at me for a minute and then said, "Eh, close enough" and reached for the bed side drawer and the clamps. 

Fit for Friday # Four

Hello all! Here is my week's wrap up.

2/16       9.5 carbs.  20 minutes of walking indoors and 20 minutes of zumba.

2/17      11 carbs. 20 minute walk indoors and 30 minute walk outdoors.

2/18       8 carbs.  45 minute walk outdoors, up and down hills and through the snow with Master.  Whew, I had some tired legs after that! 

2/19       12 carbs.  30 minute walk outside.   

2/20     19 carbs.   25 minutes walk outside with Master. 

2/21    8 carbs. 25 minute walk, 30 minute walk and one hour of yoga. 

2/22   11 carbs.  20 minutes of Zumba, 20 minute walk outside.

This is the most fun Zumba workout I've found:

Twenty minutes is plenty for me, I like the instructor on this video and most of the time I'm doing the "modified" low impact version because of old knees and not being in great shape.   

It's hard to tell with my inaccurate scale, but it looks like I have lost another pound, which makes 8 total lbs gone since I started my dieting and exercising a month ago.   Very happy! 

Link to Fit for Friday with Fondles:

Thursday, February 22, 2018

KOTW: Scratching and Mindfucks

My ass was already warm and red from the canes, straps and single tails they had been using on me.  I heard some different sounds, the rustling of clothes.  Digging in pockets, perhaps.  My ears strained. I shouldn't look, I knew. There was a light scratching sensation on my tender behind.   I have experienced the sensation often enough to recognize the flexibility of a plastic card of some sort pretending to be a knife.   

The mindfuck jig was already up when Dr.Peter commented,

 "What is that, a credit card?"  

"Shhhh, shhhhh" said my Master, and I giggled.  
 "I can tell a card from a knife".

Dr. Peter left the room and returned.

Now there was a sensation on my raw ass that was distinctly sharp and pointy.  I couldn't see it, but it was definitely NOT a library card.

He poked it straight down in my ass, pricking me.  He scratched across me and told me to orgasm.  I was afraid to move too much.  
I didn't know if there was going to be blood.  Master made me spread my legs apart as I lay face down on Dr.Peter's bed.   He grabbed and tugged at my labia.  The sharp thing pricked against me there and I whimpered.  It did hurt.  He poked around a bit more and then showed me the knife Dr. Peter had given him.   

Click here to see more of Kink of the Week:


I guess masturbating is worth the effort without the vibrator.  My Valentine present helps:

RIP Hitachi

My Hitachi magic wand died two days ago.  My Master says I need a frequently buyers club for those vibrators because I burn them out so regularly.  Buy 10 and get the next one free!

Masturbating without it just seems like too much work.   I ordered a new one right away.  But it's not here yet.  Sadness.


Wednesday, February 21, 2018

Today's Tasks and Also Fun Things

Today my assigned tasks are:

-Work on the computer MTurks  for pay (done)
-Clean the fridge
-Scoop dog poop in the yard
-Feed sheep
-Do laundry
-Make dinner (started in the crockpot)

Fun things I plan to do:

-Play Pokemon Go
-Go for a walk
-Buy some pants for yoga (I'm not sure this counts as fun since I don't enjoy buying pants, but I will enjoy being able to wear pants that aren't full of holes).
-Go to free yoga for beginners class 

Tuesday, February 20, 2018

Not My Bed

No, that's not my bed.  And I'm not dead. 

 I was getting worked over by two men, and looking pretty out of it at that point.


Monday, February 19, 2018

TMI Tuesday: Space, what Space?

1. Do you think that fate or destiny play a role in love?  
a. Absolutely  
b. For the most part
c. Somewhat
d. Not really  
e. Not at all

I guess I'm going to go for d here.  There could be a little bit of fate, maybe, but mostly I believe in happenstance and free will decisions people make to determine their own course.

2. True or False – If my sexual likes and dislikes are not in line with my partners, I change them.

I have tried.  It's not like switching a light bulb on and off to change my likes. It's impossible for me to say "Oh, now I like this because he likes it," but it actually can happen with behavioral  conditioning. My Master has done that for some things.
3. You and your partner are at a party. Both of you are equally acquainted with the hosts and the other people attending, although you aren’t the best of pals with any of the guests, you have conversed with them on a few occasions. During the socializing, what would you most likely do?

  a. I’d stay glued to my partner’s side, conversing with the same people he/she is.
  b. I’d be away from my partner, mingling with the other guests. c. I’d stay near my partner, but involved in different conversations. d. I spend some time by my partner’s side, and some time mingling. e. I let my partner drift or stick by me – as she/he wishes.

Pretty much a.  I'd go for a short time to say hi to other people if I was worried about missing them because they might leave early, but not that much straying.

 4. Have you ever gone through your partner’s journal, diary or personal letters?
  a. Yes – I've read it/them from A to Z.
  b. Yes – I’ve read some of it/them.
  c. I know where she/he keeps them but I haven’t read any.  
 d. I know where she/he keeps them – I couldn’t help but look –  but  I haven’t read any.  
 e. No – I don’t know where she/he keeps them, and I have no intention of looking.
f. No – I don’t know where she/he keeps them, even though I’ve looked.

e. I don't even know if he has any letters, and I certainly wouldn't read them.  He never keeps a journal. 

5. Have you ever had a romantic partner go through your journal, diary, personal letters or text messages without your permission? How did you feel? What did you do?

I have always kept journals, and once I became his slave he naturally could do as he liked with them, including read them.  He did too.  Before that, I had always kept them private.  When he read bits of them once without asking me he felt guilty and told me.  I was embarrassed, but don't remember being angry. I didn't really do anything.

Bonus:  What makes you feel loved?

My Master :)  He tells me and shows me that he loves me often.
 I love that.  I need that.

TMI Tuesday blog, see more here:

Saturday, February 17, 2018

More Lessons of 2018

Well, nothing improves a poor attitude in a slave quite like some CNC buttsex at 5 am.

I was feeling kind of down yesterday, about myself and a lot of things, and I went to bed really early.  I didn't even get up to put my collar on or brush my teeth, and Master didn't wake me.  

Now I feel a lot better, though.   

Friday, February 16, 2018

Busy Week

It's been a busy week, and requiring constant  planning and re-planning to fit everything in.  I envy those for whom slavery means turning off their brain and just submitting.  
It's not like that at all for me.  Not even close to that. 

Just as an example, there was yesterday.

I got up at 5:00 to make Master's breakfast.  I already had a message from Mystique asking if I wanted to go with her to help out Sarahnade with getting to the doctor and shopping again this week.  Her PT was at 10, so we had to meet down at the Fleet Farm parking lot at 8:00.  Sarahnade lives a little bit more than an hour from here.  I asked Master if I could go and he said yes. 

It was Thursday, so it was my day to do all the washing of sheets.  So, first I stripped all the beds, but I didn't want to leave the laundry moldering for a half a day, so I didn't start it running.   I cleaned the upstairs bathroom, and had all the dogs out and back in again, cleaned up the kitchen, had a shower, and started the dishwasher and was ready to leave the house a little after 7:00.  I hoped to make a detour downtown for Pokemon supplies before meeting at Fleet Farm, which just took a few minutes.

Mystique and I walked around for about half an hour while we waited for the appointment to be done.   Then we all had a fun time after the PT going to lunch (where they helped me stick to my diet, thank you thank you!). Mystique is doing Weight Watchers, so hers is a bit different, but still the same idea.  We stopped by the store quick for some essentials, then Mystique and I drove back home.   

I arrived at home at 2:00.

I started the laundry, cleaned up dog poop in the yard (lots of melting snow means lots of revealed poop!), fed the sheep and tried to do a bit of mucking in the barn (not much really).   Then I put new sheets on the bed and vacuumed the upstairs. 

I switched over the first load of laundry and then went to pick up the older kid at school (he's done with after school things at 4). 

When I got home I flipped over the second load of laundry to the dryer and made dinner, chicken, in time to be out the door again at 5:30 to take the younger kid to his Thursday night club at school.  While he was at the club I went to the grocery store to get some desserts (which I won't be eating).   I forgot the sausage so I have to go back today. 

I got home at about 8 pm, said hi to Master for a minute or two, looked at stuff on the computer, gathered the laundry from the basement and began putting it away (this isn't finished yet), let dogs out and back in,  fed them and then it was basically bedtime.  We had sex, which was delightful but rather hurried.  

And sleep, happy sleep. 

Fit For Friday 3

2/9  5 carbs, one 20 minute walk indoors.

2/10 PIZZA DAY  1 million carbs (or so), no walking to speak of.

2/11 17 carbs, a 20 minute walk indoors plus a 3 mile outdoor walk in the snow around the lake with Master. A beautiful day, still cold though.

2/12  9.5 carbs, one 10 minute walk in deep snow, plus another walk later outside for 20 minutes.

2/13 44 carbs after an unexpected lunch out.  It was really good though.   40 minute walk outside. 

2/14  Went out for Indian food with Dr.Peter.  Carbs=oh fuck it, I have no idea.  Dinner was leftovers from the restaurant.  Walked 20 minutes outside.

2/15  8 carbs.  SOOO hard to stick to a diet that day. I asked Mystique and Sarahnade to help me when we went out to lunch, to not allow me to order pancakes and French toast. And they didn't.  We walked about 30 minutes outside while waiting for Sarahnade to get done with her physical therapy. 

I lost one more pound this week. 

Wednesday, February 14, 2018


We celebrated yesterday because my Master had the day off, and today he likely won't be home until late. Not because he got the days mixed up and thought yesterday was the 14th (maybe). He told me to come upstairs for my Valentine present, and then took his belt off and started hitting me with it. He gave me a flogging, then he blindfolded me and had me lie on the floor for the new toy he had got me.   It's a knobbly glass dildo, a very intense feeling.  

Afterward we had to take the cars for oil changes, and while we were waiting we went out to lunch and split a piece of cheesecake. It was all very romantic. I am going to get something for him today.

I'm all yours, Master!

Monday, February 12, 2018

TMI Tuesday for Valentines

1. Tell us two reasons why you would stay in a bad relationship.
That's a tough one.  I know people do it, but I don't think that is something I would ever do.  I value myself too much, and my own happiness.  I'm guessing the primary reason is not having a way to support yourself, if people are staying while unhappy.
2. Do you wish your private life was kinkier?
I think we are pretty kinky, but anyway YES.  I could always do more, at the whim or demand of my Master.  Always.  I don't think I've ever had a "That's too much kink for me" moment.
3. Tell us about your weirdest sexual experience.
Once while in subspace I hallucinated that Homer Simpson came out of the clouds to talk to me.  I forget what he was saying now.  It seems even weirder to say it than when I actually experienced it. Then, it was like "Well, why wouldn't Homer talk to me in the clouds?"  Totally normal.

4. Can you have a totally hands-free orgasm?
Yes, my Master has taught me to orgasm on command. He doesn't need to be touching me. He's done it in a restaurant, in a gift shop, over text messages.  Sometimes I have orgasmed without command from certain rhythms and duration of pain (whip, paddle, cane). 
5. What tips can you give for staying hard (you personally or keeping your partner hard)?
Sucking/oral sex is always good for getting my Master hard.

Bonus: Is it okay to not celebrate Valentine’s Day even though you have a partner? Why or why not?
Sure, people can do whatever they want.  It's not nice to disappoint your partner though, so you should see if you are in agreement before doing nothing.  I like getting stuff on VD.   

Sunday, February 11, 2018

Life In Balance

I was listening to some guy on the radio talk about depression, and how our society promotes things that add to depression and anxiety rather that working against it.   I'm thinking about reading his book even though I'm not prone to depression myself.  I probably haven't mentioned it, but our older child was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and anxiety.   As his mother, this has been a painful thing to realize.   I assure you, there is no aspect of self-blame that I have not indulged in.  I think it is a hugely fucked up part of our society is that "It's always the mother's fault."  I think Freud probably started this, but even though people are over Freud, they aren't over the blaming mothers thing.  

 The radio expert was not against drugs, but there are many things that we could be doing, not individually, but all together, that would make this less of an epidemic, besides just throw drugs (that don't always work that well) at people.   This is the book:

One crucial part of his recommendations was just doing things with friends.   Not social media friends, but actual face to face friends and really doing things.    

He told one story about a man in Cambodia who lost a leg.  His work in the fields became intolerably painful and he stayed in his house and spoke to no one anymore.  He was depressed.  The other people in his town got together, talked to him, listened to his problems and then they bought him a buffalo.  This was his anti depressant.  One- he had people that cared to listen to him- his friends.  And two- now he had a job which didn't involve painfully standing on his prosthetic leg- he could milk his buffalo and became a dairy man instead.   

This week my life has revolved around friends.  One of our close friends who lives about an hour from us has a repeated bout of mysterious illness that came on suddenly and prevents her from working or driving for an unknown amount of time.  She has to go to physical therapy twice a week.  Mystique and I went to see her and take her to the doctor, we went out to lunch and then Mystique bought her groceries while we sat in the car and chatted.  Our friend was worn out from the PT.

This was the same friend who let Master live with her for several days a week when he was working in her town, for a period of almost two years.   She is a VERY good friend that we haven't seen enough of since she first had a bout of this illness.  The doctors can't find a cause.  She recovered, mostly, but now it is back two years later.

Saturday was Pizza Day.   We had planned this, with Travis, Wolfmoon and MissV, last month, but Master ended up working every Saturday in February and couldn't go.  He said I should just take the kids and go without him.  I felt bad about this, but there was nothing I could do about it. 
We drove down to Milwaukee (about 2.5 hours away) and spent all day making pizzas of various kinds and tasting them.  This was enormous amounts of fun.  Both the kids made delicious pizzas, and in addition to the regular kind there was also low carb pizza and yogurt crust pizza.  I would be a bad food judge because I gave them all first prize! They were all delicious.  MissV got the real judging job and she gave my older son the trophy, with the pizza that won her heart.  He did a thin crust, pepperoni, sausage, onion and several cheeses.   

I made a mushroom and black olive pizza to take home to Master. 
Travis made a hatch chile pizza with a wonderful thick crust, and also a quick pizza that was just flour and Greek yogurt, zero rising time, for the crust.  Wolfmoon made a low carb "meatza" which had ground hamburger for the crust.  This was also delicious and I'll probably try it at home for my diet.   My younger kid (he's 12) made a stuffed crust pepperoni which was also great.  

We have two of the important depression-fighting strategies right here:  meaningful work and good friends.   I'd have to read the book to remember what all of them were.

Friday, February 9, 2018

Fit For Friday Number 2

Fit For Friday Results

It is the day to weigh in, and I ate SO MUCH last night.  I need to go do it though.   

2/2 12.5 carbs, 30 minutes of walking/jogging and stair climbing in the house

2/3  This was our day to go out to eat with friends, so I had a total of 41 carbs for the day.  I walked for 20 minutes plus shoveled snow and did outside chores for an hour.

2/4  5 carbs, 20 minute walk in the house.  I wasn't feeling that great at night, a little nauseated.   I got up and had a piece of cheese.

2/5  11.5 carbs.  I did a 15 minute cardio dance work out video from You Tube for variety, and also later on a 10 minute walk interspersed with stairs.  I was feeling good until about 10 at night, and then sick again.   

2/6  10 carbs.   I did a 15 minute walk outside and 10 minutes later on inside.   Feeling good, but really hungry before dinner.

2/7  Went out for lunch, but stayed on the diet.  5 carbs.   15 minutes of walking in the house, with some stairs.  Feeling really full after dinner.  

2/8 About 40 carbs yesterday.  We went out to eat again, and it is really tough not having a bit of everything they put in front of you when it is all so good- our favorite Japanese restaurant does everything wonderfully.
   I worked out with a Zumba video for 20 minutes, inventing (possibly) a new thing I call Zumba with puppies.  You may have heard of goat yoga.  This is something like that.  Puppy Zumba involves a large puppy leaping on you and also you have to constantly stoop and reach to rescue her ball which she keeps rolling under the coffee table.   Later on I went for a 25 minute walk outdoors, which was really great, if cold, since it was only about 7 degrees here.   

Here is a picture from my Tuesday walk.  It was -9F that day. 

Edit to add: I lost 1 pound this week. 

Wednesday, February 7, 2018

When Nipple Clamps Attack

Choosing nipple clamps came back to bite me in the erm, nipple, of all places, right? 

Master had me kneeling at his feet, wearing the nipple clamps,  with a butt plug in, trying my best to give a blow job and not moan too much.  Difficult!  I cried when he took the clamps off, when all the blood rushes back in, just when you think it can't get any worse, that's the worst part.

He got so close he couldn't hold back anymore, and came all over my tits.   He said I'd earned a beating, in a good way.  So he took me upstairs and started with a little "warm up" with the belt.  He put the hood over my head and tightened it down.  My ass and back were soon warm, that's for sure.   He switched to the single tail whip, leaving some little stingy lines up and down.  Then he got out the evil, evil stick.  It has a name, which suits it "The Misery Stick".  It's very thin.   His swings were HARD too.  I was jumping about a little.  After thoroughly "sticking it" to me ( I know, I know, I'm in one of those moods) he soothed me with a nice long flogging.  

He had me find my way to the bed by feel, wearing the hood.  I know just where each piece of furniture is, from feeling my way by night many times, so I just felt along until I was there, and then flopped down on my back, hoping he would give my poor bruised backside a rest.   He took off the hood and had me suck him until he was hard enough to fuck me again.  It felt so good and tight with the butt plug in.  Master use the Hitatchi on me and made me come a few times before we snuggled down into bed to relax.    I was extremely cold at that time, in reaction to the play I get very cold.  So I snuggled a lot.   We got up and took a shower eventually, where I knelt to receive my usual anointing.    

Tuesday, February 6, 2018

TMI Tuesday: Choices and Choices

1. Pancakes or waffles?

Now that's just cruel.

2. Steak or Lobster?

Neither.  I used to love steak, but I can't eat it anymore.  My stomach has a problem with any beef.

3. Freckles or dimples?

Oh, dimples.  Take a look at Trevor Noah.

4. Board games or video games?

Board games for sure.  I'm not much for video games.

5. Dress up or dress down?

I like both.  Mostly down I guess, but I also like to wear a skirt and go out.  Skirts aren't the best for farm work.  They get full of hay.

6. Backseat of car or kitchen  counter? (Of course I’m talking about a spontaneous place to have sex)

Having tried both, the kitchen counter is way more comfortable.  Now, the back of a van that is full of hay also has possibilities.

7. Nipple clamps or handcuffs? Tell us why you chose your particular sexual encounter enhancement?

I love/hate nipple clamps.  I have never tried handcuffs but I know a few people that got lasting nerve damage from using them.  I would take leather cuffs for $100, Alex.
But of just the two choices, I pick nipple clamps (ow!).

Bonus:  How was your weekend? Would you like to repeat it or never see that weekend again?

It was pretty good.  Our plan to go out to dinner with the whole munch group was foiled by a snow storm, so we ended up with only the most local (and closest friends) going out to dinner somewhere much closer to us.  This was a lot of fun, even if the food wasn't the best.  I worried that the other person would not get my message and wonder why we didn't show up, but it turned out they had a decent size group up there, so that was a relief.  I hated to think of him waiting all by himself at the restaurant.

Master and I had a bit of playtime Saturday night and Sunday night which involved (see above) nipple clamps!  And having me tied down by my leash.  I may have been sleepy, but never too sleepy for that.

Saturday, February 3, 2018

High School Musical

Last night we went to the high school musical production of Fiddler on the Roof.   They played to a solidly packed auditorium and it was thoroughly enjoyable.  Some of our son's friends were in the musical and he'd done a few stints early on as stage crew making props, although he's not doing it now.   I hadn't attended a high school musical or play since I was IN high school, I'd never seen Fiddler on the Roof performed live and I think the last musical I saw live was...  I just don't remember.  

It was a full three hour show and I loved it.  

On the way home my Master mentioned how his perspective had changed.  When he was younger all his sympathy was with the daughters, and none at all with the father Tevye, who is kind of a bully who shouts a lot as well as a buffoon.   But now, he sees a lot more sympathy for a man whose traditions and world are all falling apart too quickly.   And Master had fun poking me during the parts where they talk about not giving girls their way.   Poke, poke, "Right!  All down hill after that!"

For myself, I'd always thought Tevye was a sympathetic character (I've seen the movie many times), even with his faults.

Tonight we are going out to dinner with some of our friends from the munch group, which will be fun and hopefully the roads will be ok because it is snowing today.  

Friday, February 2, 2018

Taken By Surprise

Wednesday night Master gave no indication of any indication of wanting me.  I had gone up to fold clothes and got suddenly so exhausted that I had to lie down for a bit.  An hour later he came and got me to finish my chores, letting dogs out and so on.  He had already done the dishes, which is one of my jobs.

After that I was in the bedroom, kneeling on the floor, head down, arms out as normal and he came in.  Instead of saying "Into bed now" as I was expecting, he walked around behind me and lifted the back of my robe.   I felt his fingers rubbing me.  I began to get wet, a little.  Then he took me.

A while later, after we were snuggled in bed, he said to me "Isn't it great not to have to ask, just to take what I want, because it is mine?"

I agree with him.  It is good to be his. 

Fit for Friday. This Time Really on Friday

My goals for Fit for Friday:

- walk more
-stay on a low carb diet
- continue yoga and stretching

Here's my week so far:


16 carbs,  several small walks (not sure how far)


11 carbs, feeling really good, 1 mile of walking total, split into three small walks 


6.5 carbs, feeling super full after roast pork loin dinner.   I took puppy for a one mile walk even though it was cold.   If feels good to move around. 


11 carbs, about 2 miles of walking, divided up into 4 short walks.


7 carbs.  Feeling really great! Dang, it is so freezing cold and windy out.  Twenty minutes of walking, jogging and stair climbing in the house.  
  It looks like I have lost about 5 lbs this week (inaccurate bathroom scale).   I'm feeling good about this.  Also, I'm planning a cheat meal for Saturday night because we are going out for dinner and I will be unlikely to find anything with such low carbohydrates on the menu.

Here is Fondles original Fit for Friday post if you want to join in:

Wednesday, January 31, 2018

Flinching Gets Two More

Well, it's cold here again, so that just means a good time to warm up in the bedroom, right?

Crank up the space heater and get naked!

Master used his belt on me as I stood braced on the dresser.  The very first hit was my mid back on the right side, shockingly hard.  The second was close my left armpit, also terribly painful.  Then he worked his way down my back (lower back- also ow!) to my ass, which is far more bearable.   After a good belt warm up he brought down the bullwhip, giving me some nice stripes right down my back.   He stepped in close and intimately wrapped his arm around my neck.  

"Do you think most women like this?" he asked, taking out the wooded paddle, and continuing a discussion we'd had earlier about something a friend had posted on facebook about "What is bad sex to women vs. men?"

"No, not most women", I answered between gasps of pain after each paddle strike.

"It doesn't even hurt", he said with another solid whack on my butt.

"It doesn't hurt YOU", I retorted. 

"But you love it," he stated, pushing me to the floor and entering me from behind.   He switched to a leather strap as he fucked me, and I did love it.   

He took me onto the bed and had me suck him while he gave me orgasms with the glass dildo and vibrator (yay for B voters!).  

I begged him to tie me up, after he asked what I most wanted, and he did, because he is the most kind and gracious Master.  He made a ladder tie down my arms and fastened them to the headboard, then tied my legs up in the air.

When he got done fucking me we took a shower together and I got to be his pissing post.  I love that, heh, so nasty!

Out of the shower and getting dried off, he started smacking my tits.  After a few hits on each I flinched back.   Well, that just got me two more, even harder than the others.

Monday, January 29, 2018

TMI Tuesday ABCs

1. I will never again _____ .

Get so drunk that I throw up.

2. I stash _____ in my closet.


3. Are you embarrassed when strangers start talking about their sex life to you?

It depends on the situation. On a street corner?  Yes, definitely uncomfortable. In an internet forum where sex is a main topic?  Usually not.

4. Would you date someone who is celibate?

Not monogamously.  Possibly in a poly situation.

5. What percentage does each of these activities–work, play, household, sex, rest/sleep have in your life? (Must equal 100%)

Work/household/driving kids around combined since I work at home: 10 hours  41 %

Play: 5.5 hours  23 % (I include things like walking, playing Pokemon, doing stuff on the internet, writing blogs, watching TV and reading)

Sex: 1 hour  4 % ( or less, since it's not every day)

Sleep: 7.5 hours 32 %

That's a typical weekday.  On the weekend I do less work, more play and more sex (sometimes).

Bonus: How do you decompress at the end of each day? How would you like to decompress at the end of each day?

I decompress by writing or reading.  The only thing I'd add is a professional massage, I'm pretty content with my decompression otherwise.

TMI Tuesday: The Life You Want

1. Who was the first person you ever had a crush on? Why did you like them? There was a kid in grade school I liked because he always invi...