Saturday, May 30, 2015

Car Buying: Banter Nearly Goes Awry

We spent the afternoon car shopping and evidently I can be a "cast iron bitch", according to Master, when it comes to resisting car salesman upselling.  He is very proud of me for that, in fact.  

One guy really tried hard to get us in a car we couldn't afford, or else a car that Master couldn't even sit comfortably in. The comfort level wasn't bad for me, but I'm much shorter, and it won't be the car I have to drive much.  We didn't get one today, but we are close to finding the right one.  We have eliminated many that didn't quite work.

This was the funny bit though.  

 We're driving around in one of the test drive cars and Master is chit-chatting with a very young (19) salesman who announces that he's engaged to be married.  Master tells him there will be ups and downs in a marriage, but hang tough, and then says to me:

"You agree with me, right?"

I say yes.

He says "That should always be 'Yes, Mas...' " he quick looks at the salesman ... "Yes, Sir".  

I say "Yes, Sir".   *giggles*

Between that and a couple times of "Hush, woman" from Master to me, I don't know what he thought of us.  

Probably just that Master is living the dream.  


Friday, May 29, 2015

Really Hard Time

Last night was a really hard time for me, but for a change for this week it was a Very Good Hard Time.
I moaned, I whimpered, I cried, I came. 

He used the cutting board paddle, with associated baseball wind-up, as I bent over a kitchen chair.  It hurt so bad!  Then he used the hickory cane, which was nearly as bad.  There was some big wind-up on that too.


It was out of the park last night.

There was much more too, especially the misery stick and the belt, and the willow cane, and I enjoyed it all as much as I could when it was really, really hurting.  He caned my breasts, my poor nipples, and my inner thighs, and a lot of tapping on my cunt, which was very hot.  He stood on my neck and made me come.  I love that feeling, being literally under his foot, being told that I'm his possession, his fucking cunt.  

Choking, slapping, fucking, coming, I loved it all.  Curling up with him afterward I passed straight into sleep.  

He is my shiny Master, too.


When I'm having one of those days, I sometimes wonder if I am not shiny anymore.  I'm not new any longer, haven't been for a very long time.  I know I'm loved, but I'll never be new to him again. 
I ask myself "Can I still be shiny without being new?"

  But then I feel him behind me in the bathroom, looking at me in the mirror as he tears my clothes off.  He has a hunger in his eyes, and as he presses against me, pulling my head up when I try to lower it, forcing me to look... I see the look in his eyes and I know I am still shiny to him.

Thursday, May 28, 2015

Enjoy the Ride

I'm along for his ride, if i wanted it to be my ride, i picked the wrong end of the leash.

My friend Candy said this and I think I will just post it here as a reminder for myself. 

Twisted Up

I haven't really felt like writing much here.  I have been all twisted around lately, ever since Tuesday, I guess.  No real reason that I know of, just my brain out to get me again.  In fact I wrote a huge long ranty thing this morning but never posted it anywhere.  Instead I saved it in a document to think about later.  Now I'm regretting that I wrote it and don't want Master to read it, but it is too late because I already told him I wrote it and he said to save it for him.  I hate that feeling of doom.

I also hate filling out employment applications with a passion.  Hate. Hate. Hate.  

Tuesday, May 26, 2015


Just a little FYI, when you are doing the leg up and over thing and accidentally kick your Master in the nose, saying "We only have one punishment here at Castle Anthrax" will likely get you more funishment with the very painful paddle on the backs of the thighs than you really wanted.

Monday, May 25, 2015

My Boob

My right boob feels like someone tried to twist it RIGHT OFF.

For reasons which should be obvious. 

Game of Thrones Fetish

Yeah, confession time. 

After last week's Sansa's wedding night (third times a charm?) episode my Master has been perfecting his Ramsay Bolton ultra creepy voice to use on me.

I find it hot. And creepy.

I also, I totally want to find myself in an orgy of Sand Snakes some day (the women, not actual snakes).

 Meet the Sand Snakes

Sunday, May 24, 2015

Sunday Beautiful (Rainy) Sunday

After our weigh in (the same as last week), and after breakfast (biscuits with strawberries) he called me upstairs with him.  I took off my robe and stood there in my underwear next to the bed.  Master took my throat and propelled me backwards to the dresser.  He picked up his big knife and without saying anything he cut both sides of my panties and pulled them off.  He tied them around my eyes to blind me and pushed me to my knees.  I couldn't see what he grabbed from the toy drawer, but as soon as I felt it I recognized the misery stick. 

Starting out hard with the most painful implement is, well, painful.   I sucked him hard, doing the absolute best I could and was rewarded with his happy sounds and comments. 

 The stick kept coming down on my sore butt, and Master ordered me to come several times just for fun.  He switched to the belt, beating on my back and ass.  I concentrated on his cock which was so delicious, just what I wanted. 

When he moved to the bed he took the blindfold panties off my eyes and stuffed them in my mouth instead.  He tied one hand to the bed and gave me the vibrator to hold in the other.  He fucked me as I used it, sometimes hold my nose shut, then letting me breathe and come at the same time.  It was so amazingly good.


Saturday, May 23, 2015

At the library

Master was doing some research on cars at the library today, and I sat down beside him.   I was achy.  I complained about my sore butt, which was hurting in at least two different ways from this morning. 

He looked hard at me and said "Well, if you weren't such a naughty thing that wouldn't happen, now would it, cunt?"   

I got all grin-y and duck-y on him and squishy, a bit, because though I had been a bit slow and naughty this morning when he gave an order, taking my time to come in to him, because I was wanting to finish up an extra few things, he wasn't all that upset with me.   I know (because he told me) that he would have beaten me either way, and either way there would have been him pounding the butt plug into my ass while fucking me long and hard from behind.  

But still.  

That little reprimand.  Getting all in my head again, in the library of all places.  

Then he was ready to go.  We were in a back room with the magazines, no one else in sight.  He stood up and tugged my hair back, a little reminder to hurry up.

We still had to do all the shopping for the week because until he gets a new car I won't have one to do that stuff.

Friday, May 22, 2015

Tentacle Sex

The title should be enough warning, right?

She was lying naked in the sand.  It was warm and dry there.  She was so relaxed.  So very relaxed.  The waves washed the beach down lower.  The sun was gentle with her and the sound of the waves soothed her mind into a blankness.  A hypnotic space.  She felt the tentacles coming up her body.  But she wasn't frightened.  Nothing could hurt her here; she just relaxed as the tentacle pressed its suckered way between her legs and another sought her ass.  They squirmed inside her.  A third tentacle tightly roamed over her belly.  It clenched hard on her sore nipple, which had already been clamped with metal for tenderizing earlier.

Another was in her mouth, causing her to gag.  Her Master told her to come as she gagged, bringing the realization back that it was his hand going down her throat, and the tentacles were in her mind.  

As his cock replaced his fingers in her mouth she was coming up from hypnosis, maybe, possibly.  It is always so hard to tell.  Sometimes she thinks she's awake and she's not.  At some point the anal beads had been a tentacle.  Perhaps that was the night before. And his cock in her other hole had been a tentacle as well.  

    He had described the suckers inching across me, all over, invading me, violating me with their false soothing, their beastly alien intelligence and slippery ways. As I arched my back and squirmed he told me:

"You are going to write about this tomorrow and everyone will see just how perverted you are."   

"Yes, Master."  

I think we are a well matched set of perverts.  :)

Thursday, May 21, 2015

SCC: communication prompts

The Submissive Coffee Club is a perfect name in my mind, warm and welcoming, so I had to check out this site.  I think I will use their writing prompts also, though I have nowhere near run out of dirty stories to write.   

Prompt set #115

- Has your everyday language been altered by your lifestyle language?

Only with my Master.  I talk about things with him in a way that is not the same as how I speak otherwise.  It is a unique intimate form of communication, especially since I can be a little awkward with others.  With him, things just flow, and we have our own private references sprinkled through conversation, but that has always been there.  The new part is the deference, and the obvious and explicit shows of respect that I give to him mostly just when we are alone together.  One example might be "I'm yours, Master" or "Whatever you want, Master", just whenever it seems appropriate.
- Do you use non-verbal forms of communication in your dynamic?

 Like waving his cock at me when he wants it sucked?  Or when he snaps his fingers I come.  When he waves his tea cup at me I know he wants more tea.  Yes, we have signals like that.  They are not any super secret sign language though, he hasn't found that necessary.  Many forms of intimate touch and body language are a natural non verbal communication.  The better you know someone the more of that you do, I think.

- Has your lifestyle language cause any bloopers in your everyday life?

Very rarely.  I think one time he called me "slave" in front of the kids, but they didn't appear to notice since the TV was on.

I am not the type to shout "Master!" across a crowed room, even one with all kinky friends, and especially not in a vanilla crowd.  It is more of an intimate name for him that I use when we are close.

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

How a Broken Transmission Turns into Breakfast For Two

I was just getting the second kid ready for school when Master called and said I needed to come get him.  His car had died as he was dropping Kid #1 off at school.  He had PUSHED the car, by himself, from the school to Mystique's house and he was waiting there for me. 

  I threw on my clothes, tossed the dogs who hadn't been outside yet into the outdoor kennels and hurried over, but he had already gone to work before I got there.
  She had said "Why don't you take my car?" after he'd talked to me.  I made several phone calls, from Master to a repair shop and then back to him to report what they said.  Hmm, a new transmission or a new car, not such good news, but he knew this day was coming for the old car. 

Myst wanted to go out for breakfast with me, but first I had to call Master for permission.  It is something that, on one hand, I love, asking him for permission for anything, but on the other it always embarrasses me to come out and say things like "I can't go out without asking".  So I hem and haw and don't really say that, then I just call him.

 I really don't know why it should embarrass me, it's not like she didn't already know that was the case, but it still does, even after all this time. 

He said yes, I could go.  We went to this great little diner nearby.  You know the one in a small town where all the older people meet for breakfast and conversation?   The one that is packed and there is a short wait for a table on a Wednesday morning, or you can sit at the counter.  

You can get pecan pancakes for $3.50 there.   
The waitress will ask "Do you girls want more coffee?" every few minutes, forever.  
And she'll give an older guy, obviously a regular, a one-arm hug when he complains jokingly "Uh, Miss, this banana is cold".   

And yes, we do want more coffee, forever.  We should do that more often, without the car breaking down part.  It was good to catch up on the girl chats.

I'm gonna ask when he gets home.

Or maybe just wait until he reads this. 

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Suit Porn: KOTW

I have never thought of suits as porn or as a kink, but I do think my Master looks very handsome in his tailored suit.   For work, he wears a tie on a daily basis, but when he gets out the jacket and the more formal wear, that's just hot.   

We have occasionally been to events where he dressed up and I dressed down (naked) and that serves to emphasize a power differential in our minds, I think.  It affected both of us mentally and was erotic.

I had written a short but popular piece on one of those times HERE.

In our culture a good looking suit is often linked in the popular imagination with wealth and power.  I don't know much about wealth, but power sure figures as a turn on for us.  
Does that make it porn? 

All right, as much porn as any fully dressed picture could be :).

For more on the Kink of the Week, check out:

Kink of the Week

Monday, May 18, 2015

Sunday Weigh In

We had a party this weekend at our house, with friends from the community here, so I didn't have much time for blogging.   Master grilled out lamb chops and brats, and I made spanokapita (spanky-pita).  

 But I did get my Sunday weigh-in and have lost 1.5 lbs this week.  This time I'm not blaming the inaccurate scale (I know, double standard, too bad).  

I only walked 13.3 miles this week because of the crappy weather, but I did not give into my cravings for donuts and Snickers either.  Or brownies.  Instead I discovered a new/old love for Cream of Wheat.  Ok, it isn't exactly diet food, but I like it.  I sweeten it with 1/2 Splenda and 1/2 brown sugar and add some nuts for texture and protein.

We had lots of sex this weekend, which also contributed to my lack of time for writing.  Sunday evening he wanted a blowjob, then we went to Mystique's to watch Game of Thrones (I was dying to see more, they ended on such a cliff hanger) 

When it was bedtime he left me prostrate head down, ass up, and whipped me with the dressage whip and then his belt.  Then it was time for sleep.  I had a hard time sleeping as the room was stuffy, the blankets tangled my feet and I probably had had too much coffee earlier.   I had a particularly bad dream, too, but Master's hugs in the morning were just what I needed.

Saturday, May 16, 2015

Friday Night As Parents and Saturday Morning Scene Negotiations

Last night was the fun fair at school.  You may remember how I agonized last year about having to do it alone (or maybe not).  This year Master actually beat us there. It was just me and the littler kid (he's 10) meeting him there since the older kid (a few weeks from being 14) decided he was too old for this sort of little kid fun and besides none of his friends were going (ahggg the march of time!).

With Master to hang out with me it was pretty fun.  We did the cake walk together and I won a cake my first try!  (diet=poof)

I told him about this new coming show called Submissive Wives (TLC).  It starts Sunday.  I'll have to watch it for discussion's sake if we are not still hosting our party at that time, but I'm afraid I'll hate it.  I have a lot of opinions on these things, and it isn't a topic easily shortened to good TV, or even mediocre TV.

We got home and pretty much conked right out after putting dogs and kids to bed.

In the morning I woke up feeling needy and snuggled up to him.  Then it went about like this:

Him: Scoot over.

I scootch about 3 inches farther from him in the bed

Him: No, scoot over more than that.

I scoot 3 more inches, to within a foot of the edge on my side.

Soooo far away.
So cold.

He sprawls out on his side

Me: It's cold over here.

Him: Ok, come back over here then.

I wrap myself all around him again with one arm and one leg.

Him: Now roll over, slavegirl.

I roll over.  After a few minutes of lying still I ask if I can touch myself.  He says yes.  Then he pushes me down to his cock and tells me to keep fingering myself as I suck.

In a few more minutes he rolls me over on my back and takes me.  He asks me if I want to be beaten.  Of course I say "Yes, Master" and he begins slapping my face back and forth, harder and harder until both cheeks are stinging and sore.  Then my breasts get the same treatment, and he punches my arms.  When he commands it, I come, and hard!

Then he tells me to get up and make breakfast, abruptly stopping. 
 I get up, make my way to the dresser but he's behind me, gripping my hair at the base of my neck, bending me over and fucking me again.  He stops again. 

Reminds me: "Breakfast!"

  But I don't make it two steps before he's grabbed me, pushed me to the floor and is fucking my mouth hard, gagging and choking me.  I don't think he's going let up, but then he does. He throws me forward to my hands and knees and enters me hard.  He lets me come again.  He punches me in the ass and tells me to hurry up and get his breakfast going, because he's going to have to leave soon. 

 At this point I'm just crawling. I crawl to where my robe is hanging and pull it down by one corner to the floor.  I'm just waiting for him to begin his assaults again.  But this time he doesn't.  I stop quickly at the bathroom and then go down to fix breakfast. 

 When I get to the kitchen the clock shows 6:09.

 Before he leaves for work I stop up in the bedroom again as he's getting dressed.  He orders me to lie on the floor and show my cunt. 

"That cunt is mine", He tells me.

"Yes, Master."

 He takes the tiny flogger (it is a baby one, a key chain really) and flogs my cunt until I orgasm again.

It's been a good sticky morning, and all before 7 am! 



Thursday, May 14, 2015

First kinky toy?

SirQsmlb asks "What was your FIRST kinky toy?"

Well, if you don't count vibrators and that sort of vanilla sex toy, the first one that I'd say is the leather strap that he uses to tie my wrists.  It is just a piece of leather with slits in the ends so it can be looped around both wrists, and around the headboard rails.  He made it many years ago, before I would have said we were even kinky, (I don't know how many years ago) and we still use it.  It is now also a strap for whacking me, softer than a belt, really nice actually.


Wednesday Half Day

What did we do on a Wednesday afternoon that Master is off?

Want to guess?

Fix the fence? Garden? Mow the lawn?


I was just finishing up mowing the lawn when he pulled up and waved at me.  I shut off the mower and he said after he ate I should get prepared.  I made one more pass around the yard and put it away, getting back in time to make him a drink. 

He took me upstairs, had me take his clothes off, then I had to go back for the camera as he intended to make some movies. He put my cuffs on and told me I had to wear The Boots.  He put me on my back on the settee, then I sucked him, using the silver giant vibrator at the same time while he videoed me.   I do not look as much like a gagging goldfish as I feared.  

He gave me a flogging, then to the bed, where he had me do more of the same, and more videos.  He put the clover clamps on me and, man, I am whiny.  They just hurt so much.  I had to do another cheer for my present giver.   He acted like he was going to electrify them.  I didn't really believe it, but at the same time it was making me jumpy.

He tied my hands with the leather strap, fucked me, and then moved onto the games. 
One of his favorite games is the Alphabet song. It has many variations. For this version I had to sing one certain word only, a trigger word (good trigger, conditioned, not a negative one) to the tune of the alphabet song, while wearing the clover clamps and getting fucked. I lost track of the tune pretty dang quick. He reminded me that I was on "G". He just thinks it is fun to get me totally pain induced-stupid and then try to make me do stuff with ma brain.

There was more pain, and fucking, more nipple clamps, clothespins on my labia, on my clit (ow), and paddling (double ow!) and the misery stick.   

He fucked my ass hard and long.  It felt fricking amazing, actually.  Then he pulled out and I sucked him again before he had me get out of bed and lie on the floor.  He came all over me, frosted me again, standing above me.  He said he'd never seen come bounce before!   Right off my nose!  I was allowed to touch myself and I came while watching him.  

Today I'm feeling pretty subdroppy.  Hopefully it will pass soon.  I've been busy with chores around the house, plus I had to take one of the kids to a Dr. appointment this morning.  Cream of Wheat with brown sugar and almonds is my friend.   Comfort food.   

Wednesday, May 13, 2015


He often cracks me up. Yesterday was no exception.

From something I read on Fetlife, I asked him (right there, folks, BAD idea, just saying):

"Do you use deprivation in our dynamic, and for what purpose?"

His answer, straight faced:|

"Yes. Just to mess with you."

Best answer ever.  It gets my bits all atwitter that he does things to me (any things) just because he can.  

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Ten Random Facts

If you comment on this writing I will give you a number between 1 and 20 and you can share that many random facts about you if you wish.  There is no obligation if you don't wish to write about yourself!

danae at

has given me the number 10, so here are 10 somewhat rambling random facts about me:

1. I grew up in a perfectly middle class family but we never had a clothes dryer, a microwave, or any new furniture, or many other things my friends had.  We had no TV after I was about age 8 when our old one broke. That old TV was always referred to as "Grandmother's TV" because my mom's grandmother gave it to her when Grandmother bought a newer model. 
My first pair of shoes were leather and hand made by my mom.
 Yes, my parents were/are hopeless Luddites, even more than I am.   

2. Instead of little amenities they had a second house in the country where they kept horses and sheep.  My first horse was a grade ex-lesson horse named Shamrock.  Most of my classmates spent weekends at the mall, but I was riding, working on the farm- we painted, remodeled, gardened, hauled debris out of the woods, all that good stuff.  Mostly, I spent weekends shoveling horse shit.  I was a very strong 13-14 year old.

3. The friend/dog trainer/dog breeder who became the caretaker of that property (not a ritzy place, merely a small house with acreage) was was the first dominant unrelated figure in my life, as I see it when I look back on it.  I utterly worshiped her in a non sexual way and did everything I could for her, including menial chores.  She worked in a horse stable and on weekends or during the summer "let" me come along and muck out stalls with her for 6 or 8 hours a day.  I wasn't paid, except that she'd buy my lunch.  Sometimes I also cleaned tack, and best of all, occasionally I was allowed to lunge (exercise on a long rope) a horse.   I loved horses, but I was also quite devoted to my mentor, who was a little younger than my parents.  She passed away when she was 45.  

4. I seriously consider saying "Fuck it" and eating every bit of junk food in the house at least once a day.  Or driving 10 miles to the nearest store to get some.

5. I never (ok, rarely) actually do it.

6. Some of these are supposed to be kinky so... I crave most to be forced to do things I don't actually want to do, or maybe just that I don't want to admit to wanting to do.  It makes no logical sense, but there you are.  I guess this is a force fetish?

7.  My first kink, or fetish, whatever you want to call it, one that Master discovered when we first began living together, was leather.  The feel, the smell, the taste-- everything.   I used to have a "special" piece.  Now we have a lot of it:  floggers, collar, jacket, skirt, never too much.  

8.   Some days my mind can not move off of kinky daydreams even while carrying out ordinary activities.  The top four recurring, impossible-to-remove thoughts I have are: his belt, caning, whipping, and being forced into humiliating positions.

9.  My husband, Master and Lord is Amazing.  

10.  Last but not least:  Master and I met in high school.  I was 15, he's 2 and a half years older.  I joined the D&D club, of which he was the president.  I'd been playing the game since I was in 5th grade.  I was painfully shy, but he brought me out to the front and paid attention to me.  If it wasn't love at first sight, it was at least infatuation because my diary at the time is filled with what he was wearing each day and how many times I saw him in the hallways.  A year later we began dating.  After the first date I told him I loved him.

No Rest For the Wicked

For Mother's Day, Master took us out to eat breakfast, which was delicious and fun.  Originally I had asked for a picnic in the park with doughnuts when he asked me what I wanted to do.

 My day, my choice!  Woooo!

 But Sunday morning was cold and windy and dreary wet (like it still is) so I let myself be talked into Perkins instead, where there would be dry seats and hot coffee coming continuously.   

After breakfast and a hike around the park we had work at home to do.  We worked on our fence building for a time, then the neighbor who sells us firewood came around.  This time he had a young guy with him who might have been his son in law, instead of his wife who usually comes to help unload and stack wood.  

All four of us were unloading the wood into the shed and Master asked him if he gave his wife the day off because of it being Mother's Day and all.  

The neighbor said "Ya, day off". 
You know, the way those talkative men do.

   Master nodded at me and said "Well, you can see around here there is no rest for the wicked".   That got a good laugh.

Dinner was in the crockpot, a lamb and bean soup made by Master the night before, so I didn't have to do anything but make a salad and serve.  It was delicious.

Later that night he'd give no indication of interest but as we were lying in bed about to sleep he says "You know you want to.  Go ahead and suck my cock."  

Mmmmmmmmm and I did. :) 


Monday, May 11, 2015

I Asked For Them.

I asked for the clover clamps.  Asked. For. Them.  
Hurt me, please, Master?
What is wrong with me?

He said yes, and he put them on my nipples, and it hurt every bit as much as it ever did, but ohhhh, the way it concentrates the mind wonderfully.  The whole world in two spots of pain.  He thrust in and out as I rocked on top of him.  When he removed them I came and collapsed against his chest. 

Much, much earlier:

It started with a foot rub for him. I sat at his feet and concentrated on my job.   When he ordered it, I sucked him off and he came in my mouth.

After his orgasm (which did NOT taste like Snickers, despite what he had said the day before when I told him I was really craving one), he had me assume my position, standing and gripping the dresser. 

He had the belt in his hand.  I could hear it. Then I could feel it, working up and down my body, sometimes with a shocking gasp of snappy pain, like a wet towel as crack-the-whip, and sometimes with a softer flat slap.  He moved to my front: my stomach, the front of my thighs and especially between my legs, my breasts, nearly every part, everything but my face and feet.

  Then back to my ass, and I watched him out of the corner of my eye.  The way his arm moved with the belt, so hard it came, it was so sexy.  The feeling... indescribable.  I was starting to feel less of it as pain and float more.   I could see how hard his swing was, not snapping like a whip now, just using it doubled over.  
 His belt, my favorite.

He moved me to the bed.  I lay on my stomach and he used the misery stick.  This sharper pain of that thin cane cut right through my subspace for a few minutes, then I sunk back.

He rolled me to my back and began to hypnotize me.  I relaxed easily, floating.  It worked amazingly well. I'm sure the beating prior and the subspace played into it.

 There is no way I can recall all the stuff he did, but it was all good.  He was scratching me with fire fingers, and pulling orgasms from my ears and nipples, and all kinds of stuff that makes no sense in any reasonable world or scene.  

He increased my orgasm by 5 times strength, and then 10 times, using a code word to ramp it up.  A code word that he repeated to me dozens of times, but that when he pulled me out of the trance I could not remember the word, not at all, just a blank.  
I remembered it started with the letter "T" but that was all.  
Bubble head.

He made it so I couldn't breathe.  It was breath play without physical touch.  When he said I couldn't, I just couldn't.  He'd pinned my hands over my head, and I started to panic with the feeling of weight on my chest, convulsively grimacing and waving my fingers to signal my need to breath, moving my mouth in speechless begging.   When he finally said "Breath and come!" it was such a relief to feel the air, but the orgasm hit right after and sucked up my next breath.

He fucked me again and he came again for the second time.  After minutes of resting with my head on his chest, he pushed me down and told me to take him in my mouth to clean him.  I did, and felt him start to get hard again.  He told me to use my hand, stroke and talk to him.  I told him an erotic story of angels and blowjobs, and when he was fully hard he had me ride on top.  He began telling me a story, one that hit me hard in the emotions. That was when I asked for the clamps to be used. Emotional and physical all at once, overwhelming.

He pulled out at the end and frosted me.  Like a glazed doughnut.  Mmmm, doughnut.  


Now, remembering all this again on a Monday morning with him gone to work, I'm having the worst cravings for being turned into a painfully abused and humiliated puddle girl once again.  

I want to crawl to his feet.  
I want to be kicked and hit and abased. 
I'm missing him and those things that he does to me.  

And I want a doughnut.

Weekly Weigh In Report

This past week I walked 23 miles and weigh exactly the same as last week.  
Which means, in the total of all my working out, I have lost exactly nothing.  But as some kindly pointed out last week I must be gaining muscle.  I know I have more stamina now; I can feel it.  

I have not motivated myself to get out today; with this rainy cold weather it is much tougher. 

But according to Master, since I have not gained any either I'm not getting the daily tummy blows that I endured last week.   He sure took his time with the teasing and enjoyed that last one on Saturday.

Then for Sunday Mother's Day breakfast we went to Perkins where I gorged on French Toast, bacon and eggs.  No holding back at all.  It was so good.

We went for a walk all together, then had our firewood delivered. Master and I helped with the unloading and stacking of FIVE pick up truck loads of wood.  We are set for next winter, or should be.

Sunday, May 10, 2015

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms and grandmas out there in kinky blogger land!  

Saturday, May 9, 2015


After the chores are done, I ask Master if he's ready for bed. 
He says yes, but first he wants some of my good cocksucking.  I kneel between his legs and he watches porn while I please him.  He tells me I'm his mouth, his hole, for sucking as he thinks about others.  This turns me on, being an object to him.  A little fuckhole.

He tells me to go get the paddle, the one we handily keep in the kitchen disguised as a cutting board, but that is only ever used for my pain.

He rubs it gently over my ass, so soft and sensual, as I try not to tense up before the big swing.  When it hits, I gasp.  He spanks me many more times, then makes me come and tells me to get back to sucking.  I enjoy his cock: fondling, sucking, stroking it.

When he is ready to go upstairs he tells me to bring his clothes.  In the hallway he's punching me; grabbing my throat and hair, he kisses me.   

This is the best of romance!

In the bedroom he takes off his belt and whips my back until I whimper, then he tells me to wait for him and leaves the room.  
I get in position and wait.  My back is stinging from the belt and my ass from the paddle, and I wallow in that pleasure as I think of submission, of being his, of being here waiting for his desires. 

When he gets back he ties my hands to the bedposts, slaps me a little and fucks me.  It is sooo good. I arch up to meet him, wanting to come right away.

He tells me to flip over.  My wrists are still tied together, but I flip and plant my face on the pillow, my ass up.  He takes me again and makes me come.   

Then he tells me to go get my vibrator.  I kind of wave my tied wrists at him, "Ummmm, Master?" so he unties me, then I go fetch it.

He has me on top then, allowing me to vibrate my clit while he tugs hard on my nipples.   He's talking about all kinds of naughtiness with clamps and other people to hook me to with them.  Yeah, it is going to happen.  That should be fun!  I come like three (?) more times and soak everything before he makes me turn it off.   He comes too, then as I lie on top of him he spanks me hard again.  It felt fucking amazing, too.

He was going to let me sleep in this morning instead of making his breakfast, but when I heard him downstairs rummaging around I got up anyway.  His breakfast was mostly made, but I still got to be with him. 


Earlier this week we had had what passes for an almost-argument around here.  Anyway, feelings were ruffled on both sides from a certain session (what happened right before Property Reminder) that did not work out, and some talking about it the next day that also didn't go well.  I bounced ideas off (ok, ranted to) a friend, who is also a slave, on the computer and she gave me some good thoughts to work through it. 

If the other night (Wednesday) and last night are any indication, I have my calm and serene back now.   I really don't want to go back there in my head, though, so I can't give details.  

Thursday, May 7, 2015

As long as it is going to be messy...

As long as it is going to be messy, might as well go all the way...

He usually asks me about the flow, before he decides which way to use me when I'm having my period.   

Last night it was "So... is it heavy enough that I should fuck your ass instead?"  

I answered "Yeah, probably".   

But he didn't, not at first anyway.  He pushed me to the floor, stepped up to my face and fucked my mouth. 

He had me lie on my back while he wrote various things in pen on my stomach.  Then he told me if I could get out of bed he would forgo today's tummy blow.  I struggled and wrestled and giggled, poked him, tried to pry his grip off my wrist, but it was no good. 
 I wasn't going to make it out of the bed.  He told me my efforts were puny. Laughable, even.  He had a grip on my hair, and shoved me down to his cock.   He did blow on my tummy, too, when I had given up all resistance. 

  He let me go then, told me to get a towel, the vibrator and put my butt plug in.  I did all that, and skittered back to the bed. 
I sucked him again, then he had me on top riding, with the vibrator on.  I began begging to come almost immediately.  

Of course he made me wait.

"We'll just sing a little song, then you can come when I finish it" he said.  

I nodded "Yes, Master."

"One hundred bottles of beer on the wall, one hundred bottles of beer..."

 I groaned, which made him smile. 

After a few lines of the horrible song he let me come, and he never finished the singing. Thank you jeebus.

He flipped me over and fucked me hard on my hands and knees.  This was so painfully good with the buttplug being rammed in at every thrust. 

I bit the sheets and the pillows to keep quiet. 

He had me take the plug out and slid himself into my ass.  This was  much less painful than sometimes. I think all my butt plug practice is helping (did I forget to mention this- probably- anyway, I have been wearing it most days for a few minutes to half an hour in an effort to make the butt sex'ns easier.  He didn't order it, but he didn't forbid it either when I brought it up).

I was a moaning, groaning, animal-noise-making slutty slut slut by the time he finished.  Gods, that was amazing.

What a mess too!  We hopped straight into the shower where he "baptized" me blasphemously, washing my sins away (yeah, right, hee hee!).  
The writing he had done was scrubbed off, but he wrote some more new words this morning.  He wrote upside down so I could see it.   

I think I earned the writing seen here: 

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Property Reminder

I had one of these Monday night.  

The next day at the grocery store I was reaching for stuff and feeling it in my arms.

"What is with my arms?" I wondered for a bare second. 

Then I remembered all the punching I took.  I took a peek, right there in the store.  Oh yeah, they are bruised faintly.  Another reminder.   

Then I started remembering all the rest too. Hot. Violent. Forced. Eager. Painful. Necessary.  
Reminders of him the next day.

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Master's Results

He asked why I hadn't said this, but he's been walking with me in the evenings (I sometimes do two walks) and weighing in with me, and he's lost pounds already!  And notches on his belt are going in too (how he usually measures).

I thought he didn't want me to mention it, but I was wrong.

Monday, May 4, 2015

Sit On My Face and Tell Me That You Love Me!

 I'll sit on your face and say that I love you, too!

If you didn't sing that, well then I just don't know.  You have missed out on the culturally vital force that is Monty Python and you should look it up.  Learn it. Live it.  Sit on my Face.

Face sitting is the Kink of the Week so I get to write something about this somewhat embarrassing (to me) topic.  Even though it happens here, I have left it out of the blog (mostly, I think) up until now because of my feelings of unease.

My Master loves my cunt.  Actually he likes cunts in general; mine is special because I'm attached to it.   He likes it in his face with me lying down, or in his face with him lying under me. 

 I think too many times face sitting or even cunnilingus is portrayed as something only submissive men like, but I think lots of men (or women) like to have cunt all over their face.    I do it because he likes it, and that is the only reason.  It doesn't honestly do that much for me.  Receiving oral sex in general is a touchy thing for me.  Sometimes I absolutely love it and I can hardly resist coming all over the place before he gives the command, but other times I'm lying/sitting there thinking "Get away, get away! Stop!" and forcing myself to hold still.  Sometimes he actually has to hold me down firmly or hold my wrists to keep me in position.  
(this is the best part)

What can I say, my cunt is a creature of whimsical indecisiveness. 

Then to that you add the fact that he's got stubble, which looks rugged and handsome but it isn't that comfy to sit on.  And I squirt, a lot, almost every time, and end up soaking him which is embarrassing to me for some reason I can't explain.

I guess I have decidedly mixed feelings about face sitting.  
I do it for him, I enjoy it sometimes, I'm uncomfortable talking about it, sometimes I don't like doing it at all.  I'm just all over the place.  Because I don't always like it, sitting on him because he ordered me to is something that makes me feel submissive.  For me it is a submissive act.

Obviously this is a kink that can go either way.  Sometimes he sits on my face, with his dick up to the balls down my throat, and me trying to breathe around said balls.  
Balls breath play, now there is some fun.  I love this.  As difficult as it is to do for long periods, I still love the sensation of being so trapped and controlled underneath him.

For more face sitting, check out Kink of the Week:


Kink of the Week

Starting the Chainsaw

Anal beads should be removed slowly, one at at time, for maximal pleasure.  I'm just saying. 

Master was done with me, and as he was getting up, he ripped them out of my ass in one swift pull.  He quipped:

 "We call that starting the chainsaw". 

 A second later we heard a loud "RRRRRRRRrrrrr" noise.

What the...?

Starting the chainsaw? Really? 

Now we get to the limb lopping, evidently.

No, not really.
The noise came from the Hitachi.  The vibrator had been tossed to the side earlier and when he stepped down out of bed he must have toed the switch, bringing it to life rattling loudly against the wood floor.   

We were laughing long and hard over that one. 
 Starting the chainsaw!

Sunday, May 3, 2015

Sunday Weigh In

The scale was non committal today.  I have weighed myself 10 times and half the time it said I was the same, and half the time it said I had gained one pound.  Our scale is terribly inaccurate anyway, but Master decided to only give 1/2 tummy blows this week.  Or maybe just the one half a tummy blow and then nothing else.  Dumb scale. 

I walked or walk/jogged 19 miles this week, and was careful about my eating, though there was no serious deprivation.

At least I'm feeling fitter.

Kinky Hypnosis Munch and How Not to Get Out of Trouble

Well, we have had a busy few days.  There have been several fun sessions that I missed writing about because there have been so many various kinky sexytimes and other activities occupying me (such a hard life, eh?).

Now they are starting to all run together, but one of those days we had sex 4 times in 24 hours.  Also, I'm going to have to buy new underthings soon, as I lost another pair of panties to his knife.  The bra I was throwing away anyway, but he made me wear it once more so he could slice it into ribbons.

Other than that really clear memory, of the knife tracing across my breasts and neck before cutting away my bra and panties, everything is running together. There is one little episode which I will put in a separate blog. 

Yesterday I became argumentative about what I would be wearing to the munch.   He wanted me to wear my jacket over a practically not there at all top (see through and very low cut, with no bra), and I complained that it was too hot to wear a jacket.  Then I argued about another task he had given me, because I didn't really understand what would be involved and rather than just ask him politely, I was arguing about why I had to do it.  I don't know why, I guess my mouth just runs away with me sometimes.

 When he asked me what had gotten into me I said "I'm blaming kaya for inciting me".   This made him laugh, but I still wasn't out of trouble and I took my punishment like a good girl.   

The jacket thing turned out to be moot anyway.  After I'd tried on a few outfits for him he decided on one that was modest enough not to need a cover up.  It was a white linen shirt (with undershirt beneath, but no bra) and a black knee length skirt, and also my new tall boots.   I wore panties, but in the car on the way he made me remove them.  

At the munch we learned about erotic hypnosis.   I was hypnotized a couple of times, once with the group and then by Master.  He told me he took his "patter" from Love at First Bite.  The presenter told me I'm very suggestible. 

 "Oh, I know that!" I said.  And I do. 

He said to my Master "You are going to have FUN with her."

 There is no great mystical secret with hypnosis; it is about focus, attention and relaxation, and it is possible for most people to resist if they don't want it.  It is also possible for most people to experience it if they DO want it.  

The presenter told us the first, most important rule is: 


  Master told me later that his thoughts, once he had me under, were all really, really bad.  His inner sadist was giving him all kinds of helpful (not!) hints about what to do next.  But the presenter had warned about that, saying that if you use it to give someone an unpleasant experience, even if they consented to it, you may not be able to hypnotize them at all the next time because their subconscious will resist.     
So during that session he ended up just bringing me back out without doing anything with/to me, and he'll be working on some good ideas for me for the future.   I find the idea less scary (as I was a little scared before the munch) and more intriguing.

We have also been fixing fences, digging out rotten posts and replacing them, and got a new gate for the driveway, so the old irritatingly sharp one will be moved to a new location where it will be used less.  My round pen will hopefully be usable soon.  I see more fencing in my future for today.  

Just a little update

I'm still doing the weight watchers program, and am down a total of 6 lbs, 4 of which of course were the first week.   I am fitting into...