Saturday, May 31, 2014

I didn't make it

About 40 minutes after I wrote the last comment on the previous blog post my stomach cramped up something awful, and since he had given me permission to take out the plug if I started being in serious pain, I cried a little bit (both at feeling like I was failing and also because I hurt) then I took it out.  I called him right away to let him know, and he was already on his way.   He said not to put it back in even if I felt a little better.   I felt bad most of the evening, just my stomach, not because of the plug or for failing to have it in all evening.   He was tired too so we just went to bed early.

I was better in the morning, and lay in bed until he woke up hoping that he'd want something besides just breakfast.   I mean, it had been since Wednesday night for any fun at all.  

He did, and how!   He fucked me all kinds of ways, and paddled me quite hard, and I came many times.  

After that I made waffles to go with the strawberry rhubarb sauce that Master had made last night.  I just ate one, but skipped the ice cream everyone else was having.   I couldn't resist the deliciousness, but it was still too much and I've been paying for it.
Mystique dropped by for a waffle and to plant some tomatoes and watermelons in the garden.   

Later on I was curled up rather in a ball of pain in bed and Master walked in.  He began snapping his belt.  "That sounds always perks you up", he said.  It did too.   He called me over to him and snapped my backside with the belt a few times.  My stomach seemed to forget that it hurt.  He then bent me over and took me up against the window ledge.  When he put me on the floor though, the stomach objected to that position.  Stupid body.  Stupid stomach.  After what seemed like a really long time, he pulled out and fucked my mouth, then came all over my face.  Somehow, my stomach felt better for a while, before it remembered that it had to torture me some more.  It's better now, but I'm afraid to eat lunch.

Anyway, you all wanted an update on my doctor visit.  First of all, she won a place in my heart by telling me, after I said I lost weight but was happy about that at least, that she didn't think I looked like I needed to lose weight at all.  

Evidently I have a bacterial vaginosis (overgrowth of bad bacteria), and I am a little anemic.  She's getting an appointment set up for me with a gastroenterologist for more tests.  That is all I know for now.



Friday, May 30, 2014

Butt Plug Task

Before he left, he told me Friday at around 5:00 I had to put the plug in and wear it until he told me to take it out.  Oh, and be sure to wear a skirt so he can inspect it.

For the past two days I've been pondering how it was going to be wearing it for hours.  Well, now it is past 5 and I have put the plug in.  It wasn't too bad at all putting it in.  I was nice to myself, lying comfortably, lubing up well, getting all, um, excited.   I can't have an orgasm, but I figured (I hope) a little playing was allowed to get everything all relaxed.  

Sitting is weird though.  I think I need a pillow.  It is very definitely, insistently PRESENT.

Pair Bonding in the Wild

I had my blood work appointment this morning, which had to be fasted, so no breakfast and no coffee.   Last night when I whined to Master about it he said I could stop by Starbucks afterward, which is a rare treat for me.  I also went by the grocery store and grabbed an apple fritter.  They have better bakery items and cheaper by far than Starbucks.   If I'm going to eat something that bad for me I want it to taste GOOD. 

I was feeling so perky after that, all hopped up on sugar and caffeine, that I stopped by a hiking trail on the way home and went for a little walk in the woods, still holding my half drunk coffee (regular, tall, black, no sugar).    

The woods were glorious, full of sunlight and bird song.  Only the mosquitoes made it less than perfect.

Deep in the woods I heard a rustle of leaves and, thinking it was just another squirrel, something still made me stop to look.  Not a squirrel at all, it was a female Rufous Sided (Eastern) Towhee.  Then the male showed up near by.  I was all excited, as they are not a commonly seen bird at all, and are really striking, so I stood still and let the mosquitoes have their feast.   

After a few minutes of hopping around the male came up with a large insect of some sort. He flew up to a small tree, and began fluffing his feathers and fanning his tail in a show-off sort of way.  The female flew to a lower branch of his tree and looked up at him acquisitively.    

I'm not that up on bird facial expressions, so I'm not sure if her look was a hero worshiping "Wow, what a provider he is!" or a more cynical "You gonna eat that, or what?"

A very common pair bonding ritual in birds is for the male to feed the female.  I suppose this is to show her that he'll be a good provider for their chicks.  At least, that is a more generous view than he's just bribing her for sex.  :P

The female flew off deeper into the woods and he followed right after, I assume to complete their ritual, though who really knows.  Maybe he just ate it himself and taunted her.  

Birds:  devoted partners or just assholes?  Coming soon on Wild Kingdom with Mutual of Omaha...

Thursday, May 29, 2014


I'm finally going to the doctor today.  I haven't written about it here, because who really wants to read about my tummy troubles?  Probably no one.  But anyway, today I want to write.

 For the last few weeks I've been having stomach aches after eating, sometimes that go on for hours until I'm a ball curled up in bed.   The first thing Master thought of was a gluten intolerance, or just wheat.  So first he had me cut out all wheat from my diet, and also cheese too, because we already know I'm not so good on lactose, but cheese had always been fine before, just no milk or ice cream.  I also stopped eating nuts and chocolate, as well as all other desserts.   There was hardly anything left to eat.   I mean, without pie, what is the point?

Cutting out wheat and cheese didn't help, so after determining that he let me go back to eating bread and pasta and tiny bits of cheese.  

Then he told me to take both prilosec and pepcid ac, twice a day.   I've been doing that for about 10 days, and still the stomach aches continue.  The only thing that really helps is to cut all my meal portions in half (!) and also eat fewer meals.   This means that I'm always hungry, until I get past the point of hungry and just feel weak and tired.  

On the plus side, in two weeks I have lost 6 lbs of the weight (about 8lbs) that I gained when I was on that scone and pie making kick earlier this year.   On the bad side, I feel like crap and everyone is worried about me.  

So finally Mystique spoke sternly to me and they both ganged up on me to order me to get a doctor's appointment.   Because I hate going to the doctor and rarely have any faith that they can do anything to help unless it is something obvious like stitches or antibiotics that are needed, it took an actual order rather than just suggestions of what I should do.

So today I'm going. 

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

What is a Slave?

A perfectly ridiculous question on Fetlife  (there are a lot of them) made me start thinking again about what is a slave.  

I realize everyone has their own ideas of what this means, and every Master is going to treat their slave differently.

However.  Being a slave doesn't just mean doing the things you want to do.  That is being the kinky girlfriend/boyfriend.

When one is a female slave looking for a sexual relationship with a male Master, isn't it kind of absurd to say "I won't do blowjobs, or I'll only do them when I feel like it, not when he demands it"?   And not because of any medical reason, just because.  Or even more ridiculously (paraphrasing) "I'll only do it in adult theaters to random strangers, but my 'master' better not demand it because then he's not treating me like a special gift".  

Yes, it was at that point that the chuckles/guffaws/unstoppable snorting began.  

On one hand, I try to accept the philosophy that some slaves are allowed limits.  This is a philosophy that I try to apply to other people because it is SO common in the M/s world, and especially the kink world in general.  It is out of tolerance for other ways of doing things that I try.
 It is not one that I personally accept though.  I could not feel like a slave, and don't feel that I would be a slave, if I were telling my Master "I won't do this, just because I don't like it".  

This is entirely different from limitations, if I were to tell him "I won't fly out the window, because I can't fly", that is pure physical fact.  I just can't without an airplane or something- no matter how hard I flap my arms, I'm going to plummet.  

 It is also not the same as giving him vital information and letting him handle it as he wishes.  I'm not just allowed, but required to give him that information.

As much as I don't like things to be on me, it absolutely is on my shoulders sometimes to know whether it is a time to speak up or a time to be silent and obey.   Common sense, experience and knowing myself come into play there.  

I feel that I need to be made to do things I don't necessarily want to do at times.   This is not something all slaves need, but for me, it is.  Happily for me, Master gets enjoyment out of the forcing.  Not all the time, that would be exhausting, but sometimes.   Most of the time, "force" isn't even physical.  It is simply a command that takes over my will and makes me do the thing that I didn't want to do.   If he can make me enjoy and crave doing that thing, then all the better for his pleasure and control.  Taking something I used to hate or avoid and making me desire it, crave it, beg for it?  Well, it just gives him the happies in his Masterly heart.  

Whether I love sucking cock or not is essentially irrelevant.   I do it because I'm his slave and I obey him.  The same goes for many, many other things.

Make no mistake, I do love most of the things I do for him, even beyond the fact of pleasing him, I am getting physical pleasure often.   But even past the point where I love it, or when I perform an act that I don't love, I do it because I'm his slave.  He owns me, and he has the absolute right to demand things from me, just because he owns my ass.  

That is what being a slave means to me.  

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Reminders and Back to Mindset

It was a hot afternoon.  The sun and humidity have finally come to the Upper Midwest.  

We'd already had sex after breakfast, with some accompanying spanking and bondage, and best of all, he wrapped his leather strap around my head, gagging me with it, and fucked me while holding it taut.  

 Master had gone upstairs again after lunch.   I followed him some time later.  He was lying in bed reading and told me to get undressed and lie with him.  "You can rub my back", he said, "and we can read our books."

Instead of picking up his book he began a litany of reminders and reinforcements, each requiring a reply:

"You are my slavegirl".
"Yes, Master." 

"I own you".
"Yes, Master." 

"You will always obey me".
"Yes, Master." 

"Even if I tell you to do things you don't want to do, you will obey".
 "Yes, Master." 

"You are expected to please me."
"Yes, Master."

and so on, until I began to wonder what he was up to, as this was going on much longer than usual.  

Finally he asked "You know what I'm going to tell you to do, right?"


And then suddenly I did know where he was heading with this. 

You may remember this blog post where I was intentionally vague due to my own discomfort level:  


He wanted me to tie him up and pleasure him, but he remained completely in control the whole time.  He didn't tell me every little thing to do, but sometimes he'd give me orders.   I teased him really well, almost making him come and then switching positions, sometimes sucking, sometimes fucking, doing various other things to tease and make him happy.  Once I brought out a clothespin, and he thought I was going to pin it on him, but I put it on my nipple instead.  

It was really fun, and thanks to his getting my mindset all corrected at the beginning I didn't have any qualms or much unease at all.   

I think of it as a service to him, and I'm good.   

Eventually, when he'd had enough of the slow tease, he "escaped" and fucked my mouth and came inside me while I was tied up. 

Sunday, May 25, 2014

Sparkly Butt

The butt plug, another first for this slave.  

 I have some anal beads, which I dearly love to feel, and of course we have da butt sexins, but the plug... it's new.

I was all excited to try it, but when he dabbed on a little lube and tried to shove it straight in, holy heck I let out a shriek!   That hurt!  Really bad too.  I was crying and laughing at myself at the same time, thinking "What the ...???  I wanted this? Why???"

It is not even a big one, as butt plugs go.  It is certainly no two pound monster, or cell phone.

I must have a really tight ass.   

Master kindly loosened my ass some more, but at that point even his finger was making me whimper and moan.  He enjoyed my sound effects.   I just worried about waking the kids with my shrieks and tried to imagine what I'd tell them if I did (spider in the bed?  nightmare?).

He used the beads, which are awesome the way they go in slowly.  Then back to the plug.  This time he had me push it in myself, and it wasn't so bad.   (See how nice he is??)

After it was all in, the feeling was really hot.  He paddled me then began fucking me.  He could feel the plug as well on his cock and it was extremely pleasurable for both of us.   Fill all the holes!  :)

After much fucking, he told me to get on my stomach and raise my ass.  He took me again, each thrust shoving the plug in deeper.  I moaned, and squirmed, was on the edge of coming but waiting for him to come and give me the command.  Finally he orgasmed and ordered "CUM" and I spasmed around him and around the plug. 

Getting the plug out again was a whole nother ordeal, but he left me to do that on my own.  

I can't wait to do it again!

Saturday, May 24, 2014

Guests, and the Swap

We had some special guests on Friday, and she brought me a present:  

Master hasn't used it on me yet, but I'm eagerly/nervously anticipating.  
I keep hinting at it, and he says "Down, slave" in that way he has when I'm getting too forward.

Friday morning started with me undressing her, as her Dom instructed me.   Then we were both spanked/paddled as we played with each other.  Master brought out the ice dildos, one for each of us.  It was painfully cold, but also got me close to coming as he inserted into my cunt.  I could tell from her trembling that she was receiving the same.

After Master had spanked and whipped me very well, he handed me over to the other Dom, shoved me literally to him, and said "Have fun with her".   
"X" handed me a condom and indicated that I should kneel and put it on.  I was all fumbled fingered with nerves though and he had to help me.   Honestly you'd think it was my first rodeo.

I set about sucking him, which he seemed to enjoy, then he pointed to the floor and "X" told me "There".   I got on my hands and knees and oh my, the fucking I got.  I have rug burn on my elbows from after my hands collapsed.   Seriously.   There are raw scabs there now. 

As I was getting fucked, listening to her moans of pleasure made me smile. She was getting close to orgasm.  Again.

    I tried to raise up and turn my head to see them, to see Master fucking this lovely lady, another man's submissive girl, but my shoulders were pushed back down, my face into the carpet, just after I caught a glimpse.  He, "X", was fucking me slow now, gently almost, after pounding me hard.   

Eventually, we had to take a rest.  I threw on my apron and made some lunch.  Grilled cheese sandwiches.  How normal, right?  We stood around in the kitchen eating, all nude, not really wanting to set bare butts on kitchen chairs. 

When we'd finished lunch, Master indicated both of us girls to get on our knees and share his cock. 

Then she took out her strap-on.  It was huge.  And pointy. And pink. Oh my.  Master told them about my fantasy of being restrained and used by several people at once, or sequentially.  (See the danger of bucket lists?) 

Master told me to go fetch the spreader bars from upstairs.  I didn't even know we had two of them, but sure enough, there they were in his closet.   

Master buckled me into them, and pushed me to the floor.  He held my hands above my head with the bar, while she began fucking me with no preamble, just thrust it right in.  Wow, that was big.  And really pointy.  It felt awesome.  It was painfully awesome.  Or awesomely painful.  Master knelt over me and put his cock down my throat.  Soon I could feel her being rocked by her Dom as he fucked her from behind.   Master still held my arms pinned with the spreader bar.   

I was flipped over, the spreader was removed, and I was used every way possible, in every combination, except for anally, which Master reserves only for himself.

Eventually I ended up riding her strap on while sucking both cocks alternately.  You see this in porn sometimes, but let me tell you, the real thing is WAY hotter.  That might have been the highlight of my day.    

My cunt is incredibly sore now, which did not stop Master from fucking me again this morning.  But it is a really GOOD kind of pain.


Friday, May 23, 2014

My Bucket Runneth Over

Master said many items on my bucket list were checked off today.  I don't remember making a bucket list.  
I seem to remember specifically NOT making any list for fear that some of them would come true.   But whatever they were or weren't, my bucket is still overflowing today. 

I'm exhausted and don't know how much I can share yet, so that will be a story for another day.

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Beg Me

His hand gripped my hair and wrenched my head until I gasped.  His other hand was lightly but definitely insistent on my throat.

"Beg me,"  he said.

"Please can I...?" 

"Can you what?"

"Please can I have an orgasm, Master?"


"Please will you fuck me, Master?"


"Please can you fuck me and not let me come, Master?"


"Please spank me Master?"

"Hmmmm, I guess I could do that" he allowed. 

He reached between my spread thighs to deliver some stinging slaps to my cunt.  

That was it.  Until an hour later we headed up to bed.

He made me believe we were going straight to sleep with nothing more than the spanking, right up until the moment he pulled off my cozy covers, pinned my arms to the bed above my head and slid between my thighs.


Wednesday, May 21, 2014


Last night Master was tired, so we watched a show on DVD, then went straight to sleep.  He's said I'm not allowed any orgasms until Friday, so I may be getting a bit antsy by then.  

Especially after this morning.  

I went up to our room after his shower to see if he wanted anything, and I knelt to kiss his foot.  He picked up his belt and instead of putting it straight on he folded it in that certain way. 

 I'm sure you know what I mean. 

I obligingly turned around and presented a bare behind, still crouched on the floor as I was.   

He struck just once, directly between my legs and hard, so I jumped and squeaked.  Then he told me to roll over and he resumed getting dressed as I lay on the floor spread out the way he told me.

"No orgasms, slave.  None at all until Friday, remember", he reminded me.

"Yes, Master". 

Hurry up Friday!

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

An Early Slapsgiving?

Yesterday Master went to his other job again, the new one, which takes up a couple of his days off each month.    I get to go with him and help out, which is nice for us to be together all day (I love being with him) and also I'm learning new things and being generally useful.  

And, best of all, usually we get home in time for a little noisy kinky fun and then a nap.

We were on the way to work and chatting about Game of Thrones- what is going to happen next, who is hot and who is not, and I casually said "I think that Petyr Baelish is handsome.  I'd do him," and Master reached over and slapped my face. "Slut" he said casually.   It wasn't a hard slap, just a little reminder tap really, of who owns me.   

I may have mentioned that it was a very light slap.  Because derp.  Well, the driver to passenger angle for face slapping is bad, so instead he gave me some really stingy slaps on my thighs.  

It is all in good fun, you know.  I may be cheeky, but this is the sort of cheek he likes.  

After work, when we pulled into our driveway it was raining a bit.  Master steered me over to one of the barns and stripped my shirt and bra off.  He used the bra to tie my hands, then pushed me to my knees.  I sucked his cock, he pumped it hard into me, then he told me to get up and turn around.  He pulled down my jeans.  I was so wet, so fucking wet.  He fucked from behind for just a minute and then told me we were going inside.  So, I'm kind of hobbling along behind him, trying to half hold up my jeans with my bound hands and not trip over them, still more than half naked and getting cold and wet.   Inside, I stripped off everything once he had untied my hands, then I made lunch and we ate a little salad.  

After I'd sucked his cock again, he took me upstairs and strapped my hands and feet to this contraption:  


It was giving my abs a work out, since he required me to stay in that position as he kicked me in the butt, then went to get the camera to snap a picture.   Afterward he used the whip on my tender bits (ow!) and thighs, then fucked me in this same position.  

He released my ankles, had me stand up, and then whipped both sides of me with the shorter single tail, getting my nipples quite a bit.  He plied the bull whip on my backside.   He doesn't use it cruelly, and I know bullwhips can be damaging, but somehow he does it just hard enough to raise a good stinging.   

Then more sex and nap.   Ahhhhhh.   After that, he ordered a cup of tea to stock up.  0.o
I washed him in the shower and he gave me my shower treat.   It had a bit of pungency.  This was not unexpected because we had the first of the fresh garden asparagus Sunday.



Sunday, May 18, 2014

Slave's Life

I have so many good things to write about, so why am I most tempted to write about the bad today? It was the funniest part of the day so far, but...

This morning we woke up, on a beautiful sunny Sunday morning, and after he came back from the bathroom he asked me if I need to go too.   I say "Not really."   And he says "Are you sure?" with a very significant look that means I'm not going to get another chance for a while, so I say "I better go now then".  

He called me his hole, his wicked slut, and used me well in several ways.  We both got a lot of pleasure in fact.  I also got some hard paddling on my still-sore backside (last night I had gotten a very long hard spanking and caning).  

Eventually I got up to make breakfast, made the coffee and tea, and he came down to eat and use the computer.  We are down to only one computer in the house now, after the other died, so I read my book for awhile.  I'm reading The Once and Future King.  But I was rather anxious to get on the computer too, and read my groups on Fetlife, and the blogs I follow, and Facebook and all that stuff I do in the morning.   I was doing my best imitation of being patient and unconcerned though.

 Around 10 am he said for me to make him one more half cup of tea, and then we were going to go work in the garden.   I looked a bit plaintive and asked if I could use the computer first.   He just blinked at me like I'd asked him to buy me a spaceship.    I guessed that was a "no" then, and I got dressed and went out to haul some compost and dig in the garden for a few hours.

 I'm not sure why I find it so funny.  I guess it was just that look he had on "You want WHAT? After I've just said we're going to garden?!!"  

Saturday, May 17, 2014

Nature of Kinky Service

I started out prostrate on the floor of our room, as he likes me to wait.  When he came in he ordered me up, then pulled my hair back and kissed me hard.  I melted into him.  It was just like in the romances.   I grabbed his naked cock and held it tight.  He began walloping my ass with his hand as he continued to kiss me, until I was hotly stinging.  He told me to come.

Master told me to get on the bed.

He went down on me, and made me come, he slapped me and held off my breath until I was near panicked.  He had me suck his cock all slimy delicious and then fucked me some more.  Then he ordered me to make him come with my mouth, which I did quickly enough. 

In the morning we had the same again.  He started molesting me as I was making his tea, then he told me to go upstairs.  This time he also used a paddle on me.

After that, we had a discussion about the nature of service.  This came from one of my groups on Fet and I wanted to see what he thought. 

  Is sex a service I do for him?  Is it a kinky service?  Or is it simply mutual pleasure?  I was of two minds, and not really sure what I thought.    But his mind was quite clear.  All the sex is a service to him.  Even when he shoves one finger in my ass, one in my cunt and makes me come.  Because he likes it, and has either ordered it or just done it to me because he wants to, because I am his slavegirl, it is all a service that I do for him.  If the sex is kinky (and when is it not, here? There is always slapping and pinching and hurting and all that good stuff even if no elaborate props are used) then it is a kinky service.  Whether I enjoy it or not is completely irrelevant to whether it is a service.

Friday, May 16, 2014

Not much

I wish I had something exciting to blog about.  Not today.  

Master has been gone for work until tonight (since Tuesday), but he sent me a message this morning saying "No orgasms today" so of course that is all I can think about.   Not being able to have one makes it all the more enticing.  
    I cleaned out the car really well instead.  Now I'm off to work one of the dogs, then tonight the kids have a school fun fair.   I consider the fun fair a kind of slow torture:  too many people, nothing much to do except wander around and wonder where the heck my kids went.   If only they had a parents' quiet coffee and book corner somewhere.    

Also I have to figure out something to do with this frozen chicken for dinner.  I am uninspired.   

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Moms- for real

When I talked to my mom this week she apologized for having been a bad mother.  I don't think those were her exact words, but she said though she tried really hard she never was a "natural" mother and didn't have the patience or nurturing ability she should have had.

I told her immediately that I'd always thought she was a good mother, but on the spur of the moment I could not find the words to say what I really felt and how deep it went.

In fact, it chokes me up to think that she thinks she failed us in any way.  I really do think she was the best mom ever.  I want to write her a letter, a real letter, with a postage stamp, saying all the things she did for me and how much it meant, but I just get all choked up and writer's blocked thinking about it.   Maybe I should just aim for writing one thing each day.  

Monday, May 12, 2014

Happy Fucking Mother's Day

The aftermath:

Master had planned to have a fun night with me last night, to celebrate Mother's Day, but I was feeling kind of sick, and so he let me out of it and I just went to bed.   

Instead, we spent the morning on all kinds of kinky fun.  

When he left for a bit, he instructed me to have some things ready that I thought would please him.  So, of course, I hopped on-line to ask a bunch of random strangers what to do (hahahahah- no I didn't).   Actually, I put on something frilly and sexy, put my leather collar and cuffs on, gathered some rope and implements, put a handy blanket in my normal kneeling under the kitchen table spot, downloaded some porn and waited for him to return.   I even turned off the country music radio station.

Master arrived home in a swirl of damp dogs (do you know how hard it is too hold a sexy kneeling position during that onslaught?).  

Ahh, real life vs. the porn image again. 

But he brought me roses!  And chocolates!  

Then, just after I started sucking him (yay, comfy blanket to kneel on!) the roofers arrived, so he had me take all the toys and the laptop up to our room while he went to talk to them.   

When he's on a mission, though, pesky things like that don't stop him for long.   

He came upstairs and I resumed the worship.  He had me bring the implements to him and he beat time on my ass as I sucked.

The crop was really hurting at first, but seemed to grow easier to stand as he went on with it.

Then he told me to put the laptop away for him, and he tied my wrists to the corners of the bed, with me facedown.  

Then he proceeded to beat on me with many things, for a long time.  He even added some music, which was predictably hysterical:  

Wiener song 

We are just not quite right.

He fucked me, we showered, I got pissed on, and then he took me out for lunch.  All this was my Mother's Day Special Time from him.   :)

Now I'm happily sore.  

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Where is that rulebook?

I hyperventilated.  

The paddle had left it's painful impression on my backside.  Master had rolled me over and was flicking my nipples over and over.  My breathing told him what was going on in my mind better than I could ever express.  

"Shhhhh now, it's ok.  We're all done now.   Shhhhhh." He stroked my wild and tangled hair out of my face.  It was all wrapped in and around the leather strap he was using as both a gag and a restraint.

I calmed my breathing, looking up at him with a mixture of "Please don't do that again, it really hurts", and "Please don't be done yet" in my eyes.  He knew exactly what I was thinking, which for some reason still always surprises me.

Then he began flicking my nipples again.  Turns out he wasn't done at all.  Not even close. 

I don't think he's allowed to trick me like that?  I'm sure it must be in the rule book somewhere on the "Most definitely not allowed" page.  

If only I could find it.  The rulebook, that is.

Saturday, May 10, 2014

In which many things happen...

I don't know what I was thinking, volunteering to be a chaperone at the kid's school trivia night.   Three hours with 8 hopped up, hyperactive 3rd graders, one extremely bossy 4th grade girl and one little lost kindergartener foster brother?   Kill me now, please.   I'm soooo not cut out to be a teacher.   The kids all had a great time though, and no one was injured or broke anything in the classroom.  The kindergartener eventually found some friends and had a good time.

Master got home before I did, which was fine with him.  He knew I'd be at the school.   I had put a lamb and potato curry in the crockpot for dinner.  All the way home from school I was picturing myself doing soothing and submissive activities to try to get my mind turned from "bossy chaperone" into "submissive slave". 

Then after 10:00 pm, a friend's son arrived from Minnesota with a female dog to be bred to Hank.  I thought he would be there earlier, but driving all the way from another state after he got off work, we know how that goes.
  I have known them for years, and their dogs, and it will be an excellent cross.  This dog's grandmother's sister was one of my mom's best dogs.  

After I got her taken care of- she had to be walked, and petted by Master for a while, then settled into her crate and fed, then my own dogs all let out and put to bed and fed, after all that, I got to sit at Master's feet for a few minutes and be petted myself.

We went up to bed, and after a quick caning and fucking, we were trying to drift peacefully off when from downstairs came "ruff. Ruff.  Woooowowowowowwoooooo!"
 Listening to the bitch bark from 11:00 until 12:00 was not the sort of treat I was hoping for.  Eventually I got up and sat next to her, catching up on some posts while I kept her from keeping Master awake with her barking.   At 1:00, when I thought she'd settled in, I sneaked off to bed, and this time she was quiet.   

And then I'm up again at 6:00 am to get all the dogs exercised before the roofers get here at 8:00.  Oh joy.  

Friday, May 9, 2014

First of May, Nine Days Late

First of May

Spring has definitely been delayed this year, so I don't feel bad about being nine days late with this post. 

For us, it actually started on Sunday the 4th.   After all our guests had gone home Master and I went for a long walk (and didn't get soaked or hailed on this time- yay!).   

When we got back into the farmyard he headed for one of the barns.  I followed.  He told me to sit down on this piece of board, and he unzipped his pants.  I sucked him hard, then he told me to get up and bend over.  He pulled down my jeans and panties and he fucked me quickly, then we rearranged our clothes and headed back inside.   First of May, first of May, outdoor fucking starts today! 

Ok, now you should listen to the song link at the top if you haven't already.    
You might learn some sign language, I know I did. 

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Liebster awards

This is the Liebster award to spread the bloggy love :).  

I got two of them- wheeee! I'm so excited and honored!   This set of questions is from Diane at

Reason or Rhyme

Thank you!   

Where would you most like to travel to?

I still want to go to Australia. Even with all the deadly critters. 

If you could have one do-over in your life what would you use it for?

I would never have hiked up a particular mountain. 

    What’s your favorite movie?

The Princess Bride

    What was your least favorite subject in school?

Math.  Hated, hated, hated it, especially doing word problems.  

    High heels, love them or hate them?

I don't wear them.  I suppose I would try now, but Master forbid them.

    If you had the house to yourselves, where would you most like to fool around?

Either the couch or the bedroom- it's a toss up.  The couch is so nice to be bent over, but the bedroom has rafters from which to be hung.   

    Do you have a spanking bucket list?  If so, what would you like to cross off next?

Hmm, not really.  I've been spanked with all kinds of things.  I'm not sure anything is particularly missing in my life that way.  

    What color would your dream car be?

Color?   I do like red cars.   A nice shiny red pick up.

    What is your go-to sex toy?

The Hitachi is my best little buzzy friend.  

    If you could wave a magic wand and stop aging, what age would you stop at?

I'd go back to about 25.  That was a good age.  But I want to keep the same brain I have now.    

Where is your favorite place to be?

With Master, in his arms.   Is that a place?    

Eleven random facts about me:

1. I hate centipedes. 

2. I went through a semi serious bird watching phase and it was actually the first time I bonded with my dad over any shared interest.

3.  I love watching HGTV (home renovations tv) when I get the chance.

4.  I don't actually like to do home renovations.

5.  The first time I was tied up I didn't really like it that much, but it grew on me.  Now I really, really love it.

6. Ummmm.....

7.  I once camped out in the Everglades for a couple weeks.  With alligators.  I did not get eaten.

8.  I have been to Paris twice, but never New York City or Seattle.

9.  I have seen the Northern Lights just once, while on a canoe trip at the border of Canada and Minnesota.  At first I thought it might be the end of the world/nuclear war.   

10.  Hedgehogs!

11.  I don't like these random facts.  They are hard. 

The rules:
  1. Thank the person who nominated you and post a link to their blog on your blog.
  2. Display the award on your blog– by including it in your post and / or displaying it using a “widget” or “gadget”.
  3. Answer 11 questions about yourself which will be provided to you by the person who nominated you.
  4. Provide 11 random facts about yourself.
  5. Nominate 5 to 11 blogs you feel deserve this award, who have less than 1000 followers. (Note that you can ask the blog owner this since not all blogs display the widget that lets readers know this information.
  6. Create a new list of questions for the blogger to answer.
  7. List these rules on your post. Once you have written and published it, you then have to :
  8. Inform people/blogs that you nominated that they have been nominated for the Liebster Award and provide a link for them to your post so they can learn about it (they might not have heard of it!)
And now I'm going to cheat and throw Pain's questions on here too, because those random facts were really hard to think up. 

Thank you Pain, from Pain's Pleasure for this nomination and questions! 

1)  how did you meet your significant other?
We met in high school.  Actually, my parents had demanded that I MUST join some school extracurricular activity and so I joined the D&D club.  Real educational, right?   Master was the president of that club, and I pretty much had an instant crush on him.  I was 15. 
2)  best childhood memory?

Ok, this is weird, but it was poking around in a stream that was filled with bubbles.   The bubbles were really cool and I just remember a feeling of absolute peace in my aloneness.

3)  if you had to live somewhere other than you do now, where would it be?

Hmm, maybe Missouri, so I could be closer to my parents? Although Missouri is a state of Misery, so I don't know.  Wisconsin is a pretty nice place if you like cold.  

4)  worst bad habit?

Fetlife ;)

5)  favourite book?

I don't really have one favorite.  I seldom read any book more than once.  A favorite author would be Oscar Wilde.  Or maybe Patrick Rothfuss.

6)  any big ambitions that you have yet to achieve?

I want to be super rich.  HA!  And live in a castle.

7)  name one guilty pleasure?


8)  favourite film?

The Princess Bride

9)  if you could or wanted to change one thing about your partner, what would it be?

He would like video games a little bit less.

10) what would they want to change about you?

 I'm really not sure.  Maybe he would make me a svelte redhead 
with DD breasts? 


And now, tum da da dum, the nominees for more Liebsters:

Joey with  Joey and Friends

Fiona with SirQ and me

Master's Piece with Down the rabbit hole

Mouse with The Power Exchange

S and L with The Taming of L

Also, there is no obligation to participate.    

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Used Slut, Or, What It Is All About

Last night I was worn out.  Master and I had been to work together, then got home early enough to have a short but very hard and exhausting (mentally and physically) play session before any kids got home.

That night, I waited in our room for him, naked and prostrate, just the way he likes.  I was expecting to be ordered to go straight to sleep.  It didn't work out that way. 

It's no big secret that I love sex.  I love my Master. 
 I love pleasing him.  

But, as he said to me the other day, "Sometimes when your mouth is saying 'Whatever you want, Master', your body language is saying 'I don't feel like it'.   And those times it is totally hot to make you do it anyway." 

 Is it wrong that I agree with him?  That sometimes I think that is what this is all about, at its heart?

I may have started out with a little inner resistance or diffidence, but it didn't last long. A little humiliation, a little force, a little pain, and his cock down my throat, and I was an eager slut again. 

   After he'd flipped me over and was about to fuck me from behind, taking what belongs to him, he told me to resist, to protest, to tell him "No, stop, I don't want this".   He whispered to me his dark fantasies, which scared me a little.    He wrapped his arm around my throat, his body pressing me down against it, choking me.   He thrust hard into me until he came, and I came also, as he commanded.  

All my resistance had melted into just being his possession, his slut, his holes to use.   

Being his is what it is all about.  I felt so utterly secure, so owned and possessed, as he wrapped his body around mine and we drifted off to sleep.  I need this. 


Monday, May 5, 2014

All Mind Fucked Up

Master wanted to try an interrogation scene with me.  That shit fucks me up in the mind.  I KNEW he was just doing a play-acting thing.  But he was really hard on me, and I'm a sensitive fucking prairie flower, er, prairie poop.    He was hitting me HARD and pressing me to divulge secrets, aw heck, pretty soon I was making stuff up right and left.  By making up stuff, I mean telling things that he already knew that I thought might be somewhat like secrets, or at least were humiliating for me to say again.  And then I said outrageous things like "I actually am a Russian spy".  Each fake secret was met by harder blows on my posterior from the riding crop until he decided I had nothing left. I was crying and racking my brain for any possible secrets.  But I had nothing.  I don't keep things from him.  At the same time as I knew it was a game, in the moment it didn't FEEL like a game. 

It. Was. So. Fucking. Hot.  


Sunday, May 4, 2014


Well, every one is gone and I'm plopped on the couch all tired out.  There are still a few dishes left, and the laundry will wait for me, but I'm having a break.

The munch was awesome.  We had a world famous presenter talk to us and demo knife and sharp pointy things play.   Ok, I don't know if he really is world famous, but close enough in my mind.   The best thing about it was his stories, I think.  He can take the audience from laughter to near tears to back to laughter like a master.  He and his lovely assistant/slave stayed in our guest room last night.   The dinner went well, then we had fun talking for a while after and just hanging out until bedtime.  

Dinner menu from our kitchen:

BBQ ribs
party potatoes
pecan pie
cherry pie
ice cream
Plus lots of treats from everyone else, including rhubarb berry crisp.

Some of our friends came back for breakfast this morning too.  

I made strawberry shortcake and bacon, plus there was left over pie.   Then we had some whip cracking practice out in the yard.   Fun fun!  Yeah, our kids can crack a bull whip. 

Friday, May 2, 2014

Cooking Day

Today I started cooking at 7 am.  I made party potatoes, 2 pecan pies and a cherry pie, and some pie dough cinnamon snails for the kids for snack.  I still have one pie dough ball left that I might save for another day (I made too much because I thought the cherries would go for two pies when they actually fit all in one big one.)

It is all from scratch.  Potato flakes are an abomination. 

Party potatoes  --hint:  you have to boil them longer than 15 minutes.

I also went to the therapist again and she pronounced me 
"Just Fine", so I probably won't go again.  

I should have asked for a certificate.  
:) :) :)  Not Crazy :) :) :)

Tomorrow we have our munch and party, the reason for all this food.   The kids are upset that they can't eat it all now.

Just a little update

I'm still doing the weight watchers program, and am down a total of 6 lbs, 4 of which of course were the first week.   I am fitting into...