Thursday, April 25, 2019

Follow up Dr. appointment

I went to see the rheumatology specialist yesterday, and I was so nervous the whole way there, actually ever since last Friday I have been.  He was really reassuring though, and although he told me they don't actually know what I have, it seems like something autoimmune and they have a medication that works for several different diseases like that, and is pretty safe, so he's given me that. 

 It doesn't start to show results for a month or two, but I feel better that I don't definitely have rheumatoid arthritis (still possible though) and maybe I will be better after a while. 

Tuesday, April 23, 2019

TMI Tuesday

1. What is it about a woman or man that would drive you crazy?

Crazy in a bad way?  Willful ignorance, bigotry, lying, unable to ever admit wrongdoing, just generally being a bad person. 

2. If your employer offered an “afternoon delight break” where you leave work for an hour to go have sex, would you take that break?

If my Master wanted to, then heck yes.
3. On your afternoon delight break would you most often have sex with (pick one):
a. Yourself
b. A stranger (e.g., app hook-up, sex worker)
c. Your significant other

4. What is your best way of sustaining an erection?

Oral sex.

5. Tell us the top two (2) sexual things you hate to do?

Facesitting, and also being in charge. 
Bonus: What embarrasses you the most?

I was reading a post by someone who had made a scene at the grocery store.  I would almost literally rather die than do that, or be part of some big yelling fracas in any store.   Never have, never will.

Sunday, April 21, 2019


I found out on Friday when my blood tests came back that I have rheumatoid arthritis.  At first I was thinking "Oh, that explains a lot", but then I started reading more about what it was and getting more and more scared.  Basically, I'm not going to die of it, but it's not good at all.  So that's depressing.  I haven't seen the specialist yet, but that's coming soon and hopefully they have a medication that helps.   

Oh, and happy Easter.  The bunny didn't come this year (I was worn out last night and felt like I had the flu) but we are doing Easter pinata instead.  Now I just have to figure out a way to have a cardboard pinata stand up to the hearty swings of two massive teenagers.  Maybe they will have to hit it with pillows!  

Friday, April 19, 2019

Customers Also Bought

So, I finally ordered a new Magic Wand vibrator.   It's been a while since the old one broke and the one I bought as a replacement just isn't as powerful as a Hitachi.

The funniest thing about my purchase is the "Customers who bought this also bought" section on Amazon.  

1.  Nipple clamps. Yeah, baby.

2. Carbon filters for a dog drinking fountain (!!!!wth)

3. Book: A Medical Medium
: Secrets Behind Chronic and Mystery Illness and How to Finally Heal  (ok this one actually goes with a "massager".)

4.  Kitty litter.  Really? Buying a vibrator reminds people they need kitty litter? 

Thursday, April 18, 2019

TMI Tuesday

1. Would you rather get a spanking in front of your family or do a striptease at your workplace?

I'm going to cheat because I don't have any coworkers- so I'd take that option.

 2. You are a sexy _____ .

 Slutty slut slut, is what my Master tells me.

 3. Hey baby tonight _____ me.

 Snuggle (ha, surprised you, didn't I?)  I wouldn't say no to more though.

 4. Would you rather have a rewind button or a pause button on your life?

 Definitely pause.  I don't want to go back at all.
 5. Would you rather have noisy sex neighbors or nosy neighbors?

 Noisy sex neighbors- very entertaining!

Bonus: Would you rather mentally or physically never age? Why?

 Physically, because getting older hurts and I'm hoping to be old and wise.  

Wednesday, April 17, 2019


This morning was a second day off for Master.  I took Pepper and the pup out to work sheep, and then for a walk.  When I got back Master was ready to beat me and use me.   I had really been hoping (and asked) for a beating on Monday, or Tuesday, and had barely seen Master at all on Friday, Saturday, or Sunday.  He worked late and early.  Then I had terrible day Monday and made a doctor's appointment at his insistence.  I only got a very short appointment but I had a list of complaints as long as my (sore) arm.  So we didn't really get to everything, but I did get some blood tests since the doctor thinks I have rheumatoid arthritis.  Anyway, I don't have the results yet.  Master said no beatings until after the appointment, boo.  Which was yesterday, YAY.  

So this morning he walloped me some with the cutting board, and then I sucked his cock, then more spankings, and some fucking, and more sucking.   He had me go upstairs to change, and then I came back down when I was supposed to wait up there.  I didn't hear him right.  We went back upstairs and he had me get into position by the dresser.   He whipped the belt over me, and spanked me with the bamboo back scratcher.  He then took me out of the room, and told me we were going to play a little game.  

We were both young people, just beginning to date.  He wanted to show me his room, no parents at home.  He began a seduction, and ended up making me his slave.  It was amazingly hot when he kissed me.   He took off my negligee, and tied me up so I couldn't get away.   He flogged me and took me.  He had prepared ahead of time by putting the big glass dildo in a cup of water, which was a painfully sweet torture as he slid it slowly into me.  

Saturday, April 13, 2019

New Schedule

My Master has a completely different schedule at his new job.  He worked Monday night and Friday and the weekend this week.  All the other days he had off and we spent them mostly lazing around.  I haven't adapted to this new thing yet.  I think the weeks when he doesn't work a weekend will be a bit more normal.  I don't actually have his schedule though so it's been a lot of figuring out "Oh, what are we doing tomorrow" day by day for me. 

Monday, April 8, 2019

TMI Tuesday

1. Did leave your last love for some one else or no one else?

I'm confused by this question. 
That’s my last Duchess painted on the wall,
Looking as if she were alive. I call
That piece a wonder, now; Fra Pandolf’s hands
Worked busily a day, and there she stands.
Will’t please you sit and look at her? I said
“Fra Pandolf” by design, for never read
Strangers like you that pictured countenance,
The depth and passion of its earnest glance,
But to myself they turned (since none puts by
The curtain I have drawn for you, but I)
And seemed as they would ask me, if they durst,
How such a glance came there; so, not the first
Are you to turn and ask thus. Sir, ’twas not
Her husband’s presence only, called that spot
Of joy into the Duchess’ cheek; perhaps
Fra Pandolf chanced to say, “Her mantle laps
Over my lady’s wrist too much,” or “Paint
Must never hope to reproduce the faint
Half-flush that dies along her throat.” Such stuff
Was courtesy, she thought, and cause enough
For calling up that spot of joy. She had
A heart—how shall I say?— too soon made glad,
Too easily impressed; she liked whate’er
She looked on, and her looks went everywhere.
Sir, ’twas all one! My favour at her breast,
The dropping of the daylight in the West,
The bough of cherries some officious fool
Broke in the orchard for her, the white mule
She rode with round the terrace—all and each
Would draw from her alike the approving speech,
Or blush, at least. She thanked men—good! but thanked
Somehow—I know not how—as if she ranked
My gift of a nine-hundred-years-old name
With anybody’s gift. Who’d stoop to blame
This sort of trifling? Even had you skill
In speech—which I have not—to make your will
Quite clear to such an one, and say, “Just this
Or that in you disgusts me; here you miss,
Or there exceed the mark”—and if she let
Herself be lessoned so, nor plainly set
Her wits to yours, forsooth, and made excuse—
E’en then would be some stooping; and I choose
Never to stoop. Oh, sir, she smiled, no doubt,
Whene’er I passed her; but who passed without
Much the same smile? This grew; I gave commands;
Then all smiles stopped together. There she stands
As if alive.

plus some more... by Robert Browning
2. Do you enjoy being alone? Yes or No

Yes, but not all the time.  I could almost be a real hermit but not quite.
3. Which of these reasons is most likely to spark your motivation for solitude:
a. It sparks my creativity
b. I enjoy the quiet
c. Being alone helps me get in touch with my spirituality
d. I value the privacy
e. I do not feel liked when I am around others
f. I cannot be my true self when I am around others

I feel peaceful when I'm out enjoying some nature by myself.  I guess that is quiet and spirituality.  It's a sense of renewal.  And definitely peace. 
4. Have you ever tried to win back an ex-significant other?
– Yes or No


– Were you successful? n/a
– If yes, did you regret it? n/a
– How long did the reconciliation last? n/a

5. Do you mind if your significant gives or receives harmless flirtation?

That's funny.  No I don't mind.  We're not monogamous anyway, so he might be having sex with someone else too. 
Bonus: If you really knew me, you’d know _____.

How hard I work to hide low self esteem.    Also, I'm more than a little weird.

Sunday, April 7, 2019


We have a new location for our munch, which is completely private with a play space in the back, so Master and I are taking advantage of the chance to play away from home.  Last month we didn't bring the toy bag so it was all improvised (belt, hands, shoes) but this month we brought two bags full of things.

This time there were ropes, and a cross, and whips, as well as floggings and the belt.  I may have been a bit sensitive (from lack of practice) but I loved it.  I have some marks on my hip and breast from the whip and the riding crop.   

It was really good to get away from worries and cares for a little while.  

Saturday, April 6, 2019

TMI Tuesday on Saturday, good grief

1. Consider your current lover and your relationship as it stands. If this person were on a dating app would you swipe left or swipe right?

I don't know what that means as I'm not up on the dating app thing, but I would definitely marry the heck out of my Master again.
2. Have you ever done speed dating? Did you like it? Did you get a real or full date out of it?

Yes, I have done it.  I didn't like it.  For one, I have a hard time talking to people.  For another, I don't hear very well in noisy environments and it was really noisy with everyone trying to talk at once, so I barely heard anything they said to me. And for three, I couldn't decide if there was anyone at all I was interested in in such a short time.   I didn't go on any dates from it.

3. If your date texts during a date, do you find it annoying? If yes, do you say something about it?

Yes.  And no.

4. How do you like to arrange dates–with an actual phone call or all via text messages?

Text messages for sure.  I don't really like phone calls.
5. For a first date, which do you prefer–drink date or dinner date?

No, and no.  I'd rather just play at a dungeon.  The whole small talk aspect of regular dating is like thumbscrews torture for me.   Just torture me, really.

Bonus: Have you ever been a cockblocker? Why did you do this?

No, I don't think so.

Wednesday, April 3, 2019

A Little Better Now

Hi, all.  I was going to write I was a little better now.  Our kid is home, so that's good.  However, I spent most of the morning crying or almost crying, so I don't know. 

Just a little update

I'm still doing the weight watchers program, and am down a total of 6 lbs, 4 of which of course were the first week.   I am fitting into...