Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Games Master Plays With My Orgasm

Master came up with a new game.

"We will each name a character from the TV show we were just watching, when I count to three, and you only get to orgasm when we say the same name."

I was using the Hitachi at the time, so I was on the edge and desperate to come.

I missed the guess the first three times and then on the fourth we said the same name at the same time, followed immediately by his command for me to come. 


Monday, May 30, 2016

Busy, busy day

My busy Monday started out with the youngest kid making a pancake for me.  He was so sweet.  You know kids can drive you bonkers one minute and then be amazingly thoughtful the next.  It was shaped like a heart, so he said it had to be for me. 

When Master got up I made his breakfast.  He had to drive the older kid over to a friend's house, and I washed up and started walking the dogs while he was gone.   We circled the pasture a few times, then when Master got back he and I took another walk.  I did not feel good at all.  I think it was the heat and also getting hungry again, but when we jogged I thought I was going to barf.  But I made it the whole 2 miles of walking (barely any jogging).  

I lay out on the deck with my coffee and a book and it was soooo comfortable. The deck was shady with a little breeze, and no bugs for a change.  After I had cooled down we started working on the yard, doing some weed whacking and cleaning up the flower beds.  That took a couple hours, and even after I got too hot and quit Master kept going. 

Our younger kid had a friend over to visit.

After the yard work was done (it is never actually done, we just get tired and stop for the day, never ending yard work is a perk of having a huge yard), I had to drive the friend home and pick up our other kid.  Then I was about to start dinner kinda early, but Master was giving "that look" again.  We were still hot and sweating and covered with grass, but about to get a lot more hot and sticky.  

In our room with the door locked, he asked me what I wanted.  He was on top of me, between my legs, teasing the entrance to my cunt with his cock.

"Whatever you want, Master," is always my required answer.

But then he asked again, which meant I was supposed to actually think of something I wanted.  He said he just wanted to hear me say it out loud because it embarrasses and humiliates me (yes, even after all this time.  Writing is different than saying out loud).  So I said I would like to be tied up and beaten.  

Master told me he wanted to hear me say it, but he was still just going to do whatever he wanted, which was to fuck me right now.  

Which he did for a while, but then he stopped and put some rope on me (yay!).   I sucked his cock until he was near to coming several times, then he allowed me to be on top and use the magic wand.  I wanted to come almost instantly but he made me wait and wait. It seemed like forever, but finally he counted down from ten and let me orgasm.  He slapped my face hard and let me come again. He slapped my tits and let me come again.  I came all over the place.  It was like Splash Mountain in there.  

He had me suck him again, and then he pushed me on to my stomach and tied my hands behind my back.  I simply love that position, being so completely helpless, flattened, taken. He fucked me harder and harder as I moaned quietly into the pillow.  Then he came and I think when he rolled off me we both pretty much passed out. 

After a quick shower it really was time to make dinner, so I did that and also the laundry.  Now I'm pretty much worn out.  

Sunday Meet Up

Yesterday with met up with Saumya, who we haven't seen in months.  Master has still been talking to her regularly, but she has various life events going on which took precedence over playing, which was not really anything to do with us.  Because of those things, I wasn't sure if they really considered it a relationship and certainly not the CNC type relationship she and Master had going on last year.   We talked mostly about a munch topic she is preparing to present, but also various life stuff.

We came home I cooked dinner, we went for a short walk and then went over to Mystique's for Game of Thrones night.  I liked the bit with the dragon- very impressive!  I will always be hot for Daenerys too.

When we got home I took care of the dogs, cleaned up the place some and waited for Master upstairs.  

He came in.  Master walked around behind me to pick up a stick to cane my ass.  Then a machete.  Machetes make really thuddy spanking implements.  Plus there is always the worry of him chopping something off.  0.o

Hahaha, not really.  

Then he fucked me hard.  I'm still thinking about that and wanting to masturbate this morning...

Also, the other day (Saturday) when I said the second course was coming soon?  It did, and with nipple clamps.  


Sunday, May 29, 2016

So This Happened

Master sent out a couple emails to people who will (most likely) be at camp asking if they wanted to do various things to and with me.

Nervous and SO excited! It's not til August so I have months to wait. 

Before then another trip is in the plans but I'm waiting to spill that because I still can't quite believe it.  

Saturday, May 28, 2016

Well, Good Morning.

I was sitting here just catching up on some blog reading when Master came down and stood beside my chair. He touched me gently and smiled at me, kissed me.  Then he guided me to the floor by my hair, and pulled my head on to his cock.  After a minute of sucking he pulled me back up and bent me over the kitchen counter.  He slid his dick up and down my hole, which did the trick of producing enough lube for him, and then he thrust into me.  A few short minutes later he pulled out without finishing and said I should make his breakfast.  Tea, bacon, a small piece of the strawberry torte I made last night, whole strawberries, grapes and toast with cheese. 

Good morning to you too, Master.

Soon, I'm guessing, it will be time for the second course.  
He keeps giving me those looks. 


Happy Used Hole

That was me Thursday night when I was waiting in my position and Master simply came up behind me and took me without preamble or warning.  So hot!

And the night before, Wednesday, I was a happy used hole with clover clamps on! They're painfully delicious.   He especially loves the stricken with fright look on my face as he brings them toward me, snapping.


Thursday, May 26, 2016

Doubt, Guilt and Miscommunication

When the perfect storm of guilt, doubt and miscommunication come together, then what do you do?

I was talking to Master about trying something new on the far edge of my comfort zone with other people.  I already had a huge doubt in my mind as to whether I wanted to do it at all.  However, I get really excited when I'm making plans, so I probably didn't show the doubt.

I was also having doubts about whether he would want me to do it.   I sometimes don't think what he will allow me to do and what he actually wants me to do are the same thing.  I suppose this is a form of doubting him that I really should eliminate from my mind. It's just hard.   If I ask "Would you let me...?" or "Would it be ok with you...?" I still haven't gotten at my real question, which is "Does this sound fun to you?"  or even more insecurely, "Will you still be happy with me if I do this?"

And then we get to the guilt.  I'm quite sure from everything previous in my life, society, everything I learned as a vanilla person, that what I'm asking to do is quite unacceptable to most people.  So I have guilt that I want to do it at all.  If Master would get even a little upset at the thought of it happening, it is not high enough on my list of wants to bother with and I would immediately lose interest.

With doubt and guilt already present lurking in my mind, then came the miscommunication.  He switched without warning me from the talk about actual plans to wanting me to tell him a hot and sexy fantasy story.  Only he didn't say it that way, and I didn't realize he'd changed, and I thought he was mad at me.   I kind of stormed off and snapped a bit in hurt.  He told me he wasn't mad, but I didn't really understand.  It seemed obvious to me.  Miscommunication pitfall #2.

He was still in "About to have sex" mode and told me to get my butt plug in while he was gone.  I did this, all the while feeling confused and hurt and a bit mad.  But being a slave is obeying anyway. 

When he came home I was naked, wearing my leather collar and butt plug and ready to be at his disposal.  I knelt on the floor and sucked him then he had me lie on my back and play with myself. Then more sucking and he came on my face.  He took me upstairs and told me to lie on the bed, face down.  He caned me then, which was painfully delicious. 

Even later on, we talked again about the communication issue, and got it all sorted out.


Monday, May 23, 2016

The Kinky Sex

When we got home last night Master had me rub his feet.  I was sent to wait for him upstairs and instead of getting immediately into position I got busy doing a few things, as I often do for a few minutes before getting ready for him.   Things like folding laundry, putting it away, filing my nails--- then Master came in.  I didn't hear him coming and I was instantly ashamed/abashed/frightened at not being in position.  I heard nothing of his coming, probably because I'm not used to the fan being on in our room.

"What. Are. You. Doing."


I dropped into position and he walked around me, saying nothing.  He took the long cane up, told me to close my legs and began thrashing me.  Hard.  After that he fucked me.  He was very aggressive about it, and I love that so much. He turned me into a complete puddle.

Chatting about M/s

We had a fabulous weekend with our friends Travis and Wolfmoon.  We attended his workshop on mindfucks, which is brand new.  He's testing out the lecture to see if it can be improved.  His workshops are always good (many jokes and stories, omg funny!), though we did come up with some hopefully helpful feedback.

 Then dinner with the munch group (more hilarity ensued) and back to their hotel room to hang out.  Nothing kinky happened, but many interesting discussions were held, some of which were about M/s relationships.  This continued the next day as I made brunch for them, and then we took a long and buggy hike in the woods.

We fit together so naturally and comfortably, all of us, and it is always so interesting to hear their perspectives.  He's been in the lifestyle for just about forever.

There are a lot of similarities between his outlook and my Master's. They share the idea that there as many ways to have a M/s relationship as there are couples who are doing it.    Neither is into the protocol or micromanagement much, just purely having obedience at all times.  Love, marriage, and a life partnership with one person ultimately in charge:  these are shared values for all 4 four of us.  Master shares Travis' love for mindfucks too.  

Mindfucking me is something that my Master has always done, without even knowing what it was.   Learning and consciously doing a mindfuck makes it even more interesting and powerful.   

For us, it is a lot about about the fear factor, which makes both of us excited.  Sometimes I am more than slightly afraid, like with the lighter play.  
Light my cunt hair on fire just one time and all future fire mindfucks become that much more intense. 

  Not all mindfucks involve fear, but some of the best do, I think. There needs to be a lot of trust.  It is never something to do with someone you just met, not the really intense or elaborate mindfucks anyway.
  Sometimes the hard part is convincing the fuckee that the mindfucker really is that crazy motherfucker who might just light you on fire.  Feeling is believing.  Balancing trust and fear is a fine line.

Much of our conversation was non-BDSM related, especially when the kids were around.  Politics was a big one.

One of the neatest things to me was to see how much our older kid, a teenager, really likes Travis.  They were talking about all kinds of things.  It was very cool to actually have him voluntarily hanging out with us, even going for the hike, instead of hiding in his room with his computer. 

All in all, it was a very successful weekend of fun.  Saturday morning and Sunday afternoon were for gardening, and we got a lot more planted.  Then Sunday night was our regular Game of Thrones with Mystique night.   The episode had me in tears twice! 
 (No spoilers here). 

Friday, May 20, 2016

Yesterday, the good

Dinner turned out wonderfully.  I was in the shower when Master got home so I didn't get to serve him.  I just couldn't take the grimy feeling any more, and he was pretty late.

After dinner we played Codenames, the new game Master bought, with the kids and they loved it.  It's a lot of fun for everyone.  Challenging, but fun.  

Later on, Master went upstairs while I finished feeding and letting out dogs.  I came up and he told me to take off his socks and massage his feet.  Then the rest of him.  After he'd had a full body massage (accompanied by teasing light touches to his balls and penis when I thought I could get away with it, hee hee!) he pushed my head down to his cock.  I only think I'm getting away with something, really he likes the teasing.

He tells me to ride on top, but I'm not wet or aroused much there, as eager as I am, so I have a hard time making it feel good.   He begins spanking me and soon I'm gushing.   Then he tells me to go get the Hitachi and an extra blanket.  It's too late for the blanket as everything in the bed is already soaked.  I just changed the sheets too!   Ah, well, this happens all the time.

When I come back he has the clover clamps at the ready.  They hurt so fucking bad, but soon I'm coming again.  Then he removes them and starts snapping at me with them like they are little vicious alligators.  This is really funny until one of them connects with my tit in a very evil snap and jerk!  Ow!  When he starts snapping them again I reflexively cover myself, and wish that he would slap me, but he doesn't.  After a few times of putting them on me and taking them off, pushing my chest back so I can't lean down to follow the pull of the clamps, he put one on himself and attached the other to the ring on my collar.  Then he had me lean back.  He says that doesn't hurt at all ????
We have very different anatomy.

He ties my hands together and fucks me.  After he has fucked me from behind and come inside me, he brings out a cane and beats my ass and thighs.  He puts the clover clamps on my labia and finger fucks me, a really good kind of pain.  I believe I was in subspace after that for a short time.  

The good outweighed the bad yesterday, finally.  

Tomorrow should be a fun day too. We are planning to go to a munch and will get to see friends from out of town again there, and then we have invited them for Sunday brunch.  Master wants me to make an all pie meal. 




Yesterday, the bad

Yesterday did get better.

It started with me intending to get up and make breakfast for Master.  But I fell back asleep and by the time I woke up 5 minutes (or so) later he'd already started on it.   I felt bad even though I'm not supposed to.

Then the littlest kid was so crabby that everything turned into a fight.   By the time he left I just went in the bathroom and cried.

Then a friend called with some bad news about someone she knew in the scene getting arrested for some pretty bad stuff.  Which can have repercussions beyond just that one person when it comes to kink/ police/all that crap.  Hopefully it won't, but it can.  So that made me a little more glum.

I treated with sunshine and hard work.  Mowed the lawn, moved sheep around, weeded in the flower beds, planted beans, spent a lot of time moving the sprinkler around to water.  Walked the fence lines and pasture looking for fallen down posts and thistles.  I found one post to use to replace one that has rotted out and is just being held up by the fence instead of the other way around.  No thistles.  Then I mowed some more grass, did 5 loads of laundry and started dinner in the crockpot (BBQ ribs).  By the end of the day I was feeling pretty good.

Then today the kid is sick (again!) and my herding student cancelled.  

So, that was all the bad parts of my week, now for a post about the good.


Thursday, May 19, 2016

Ugh this morning.

Well, today has been utter crap, from beginning til now.

I'm hoping for improvement from here on, as it is only 10 am.

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Things My Master Says

"You like the pain, don't you?"

"Mmmhmmm" I mumble around his cock.

He hits me with the new cane a few more times causing me to whimper and shift on my knees, but not let his cock out of my mouth- doing that would only result in harder and more furious blows.

"I know you do, because you have left a puddle on the floor now, drippy cunt."

--a small excerpt from today's fun

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

TMI Tuesday

 TMI Tuesday blog link

1. Have you ever had bad sex? Why do you think it was bad?

Well, yes, I have had some sex that was not the best.  Very rarely, though.  My Master is very good to me.

  2. Have you ever given bad sex? Why did that happen?

Probably.  He's kind enough not to let me know I wasn't any good though.  

  3. What instantly puts you in a bad mood?

Dogs barfing on the floor.  Oh wait, during sex? Yeah, dogs barfing on the floor when we are in bed.  Blech.

  4. Have you been hurt during a sexual activity? What was the activity? How were you hurt or injured?

Only when we're doing it right ;) :).  In addition to the purposeful hurts, we have both had accidental oops injuries too.  Elbows to the nose, fist to the lip, pulled muscles, minor jaw rearrangements, that sort of thing.  With as rowdy as rough as we like to get, it is not uncommon. 

  5. During sex, what instantly turns you off?

If I have be in charge/top (not riding on top, but topping, which are two different things), that is a turn off for me.

  6. Bad sex–is there really such a thing?

Sure. If it isn't violent enough I might ask for more. Hit me, please?

Bonus: Biting during sex–

a. do you like it?  Yes.  Being bitten is hot.

b. do you do it?  Yes. For a long time Master did not let me bite him at all.  But then another girl he was having sex with did it and he really liked it, so he started encouraging me to bite him.  I love it.  When I'm really aroused I feel quite bitey.  Grrrr. 

Can it be?

Can it really be called "used" if I had a massive orgasm as well?

Last night I very much did feel like Master's hole, his slut, his pleasure slave, for his use.  My ass was still sore from Saturday, and covered in bruises, but it got beat with the misery stick anyway.

It was wonderful. 

Monday, May 16, 2016

Quick Self Correction

In the car the other day, Master and I were talking about a survey I had taken that asked about sexual partners: how many in the past year, what type of relationship do you have, how many partners do you want in the future and so on, and how confusing my answers must look to someone who thinks only in terms of marriage=monogamy, as most of those survey writers seem to take for granted.    

Master was telling me how slutty I was, and I balked a little:

"I wouldn't have sex with just anyone!" and immediately Master cleared his throat to begin to correct me so I quickly added,

"Unless you ordered me to, of course." 

In A Cage

I was just fooling around today.

Sunday, May 15, 2016

Sex Mattresses

You know it is a great event when they provide sex mattresses.  Lots of them.  And they are mostly full of people doing sex stuff.

We had SUCH a great day yesterday. Master came home kind of grumpy from work, because the people there have been so crabby this week and also because it snowed.  
Can you believe it?  May 14 and snow. Stupid state of coldness.

Anyway, not even the crappy weather could keep us down for long, because we were off to learn about some fun rope things.

Master picked up a few new things he wants to try, including braiding rope into my hair and then tying me to things/people by that.  I really enjoyed watching the rope for takedown/wrestling play demos.  Master and I do that sometimes, but we've never had rope involved.  I think that would give him even more advantage!  Which is good for me, I like to lose that game.

After that we went to an orientation for the event, which was long, but not optional, and then went to dinner at a great Indian restaurant we'd never been to before.  The food was good and spicy, and I loved all of it.  I wore my leather collar the whole time, even at dinner, and felt very un-vanilla.   :)   Yes, people stared.

Kinky Geek Night combines the best of all worlds.  You can play games, or you can just play. We did both.  

Master put a rope harness on me, tied me to a frame by my wrists, and flogged me softly, then harder.  I had neglected to bring his new cane, his new favorite toy, somehow.  But he made up for it by using both the leather paddle and the tire tread paddle (very ouchy, and leaving many bruises on me).   After a long, hard, extremely wonderful session, he untied me and told me to get my butt on over to the one empty mattress (covered with a tarp for clean-ability, and also clean sheets available for each user) and remove the ropes myself.   I was quite sub-spaced at that point.  I did make it to the mattress and sat down on my towel to wait for him.  But I barely made any progress at all on removing the ropes.  For one thing, they all tied in the back, hard to reach even in a normal state of mind! This just gave him another reason to smack me around, which I didn't take personally.  We had all the sex then, and more smacking, and more sex, and oh it was grand!   


Saturday, May 14, 2016

Kinky and Geeky

It looks like May is a good month for events and us!

Today we are going to a rope workshop, and then an event called "Kinky Geek Night" where evidently there will be both gaming (tabletop, card games, I don't know about video) and kinky stuff happening.   We will see which wins out for Master.   He said if he gets pulled into an all night World in Flames or Diplomacy game I can go find someone else to beat me.  Unless he prefers to torture me by making me play!   

Friday, May 13, 2016


"You may be a worthless fuck hole, 
but you are MY worthless fuck hole".

My Master says the most romantic things.

We had a wonderful morning Wednesday.  I'm kind of hugging it tight to my chest and not wanting to share, though.

I was his fuckhole, and beat with paddles and canes, and there was humiliation, orgasms, being a pee post for him... it was all wonderful.  

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

TMI Tuesday

TMI Tuesday see the blog!

 1. May 9 – Today is National Lost Sock Memorial Day. How many single socks do you have because the mate got lost?

I have a sock system.  First they go in a pile on the window sill, and then if the mate doesn't show up after a few weeks they go in the back of the closet in a bag for a few years.  Then I clean out the closet eventually, find a bunch of single socks and turn them all into rags for cleaning. 

Good, huh?

2. This month is National Bike Month (in the USA), do you own a bike? When is the last time your rode your bike?

I do own a bike, and rode it last summer.  The tires went flat though and won't hold air, so I'm hoping my Master will fix it. 

3. Of course we all know it is Masturbation Month. How are you celebrating?

I'm really not.  I'm only allowed once a day so I generally use that up and then if I want more I have to ask, which I almost never do.  Asking is hard. 

4. As a kid, many of us would think or say, “I don’t ever want to be like my mom (or dad)!” Now that you are grown, which parent do you think you are most like.

I look like my mom,  have the same interests and hobbies as my mom, but I have the temperament of my dad.

5. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

I think my parents did a fine job.  They even let me get a horse when I was 14.   They both always did interesting things with us, and made us believe were were important and had agency.

Bonus: A lot of people do sexting. Do you ever have sexy talk with a real phone call? Do you rehearse what you are going to say or do it freestyle?

Every now and then if my Master is away at night for some reason we have some dirty phone talk.  It's not often though.   
I never plan ahead because I don't know when he's planning to do it.  He tends to do most of the talking and I do the moans.

New Toy, Sore Butt

The new cane CAN hurt worse than the misery stick. 

As I found out it's all in the snap.  Snap hurts.  

We had a GREAT night.  

I think I was even in sub space at the end.  When he was done I was all floaty, full of hearts and flowers, as I drifted off to sleep.


Monday, May 9, 2016

Saturday and Sunday- Really long, sorry about that

There is my butt. With cane stripes. Happy Monday, all.


Anyway, we had a really busy Saturday and Sunday.  Master had to work Saturday morning, and I went to the official grand opening of the county park just down the road from us.  That's the one we've been walking at, as well as doing some little extra "recreations". 

 Just for some perspective, living in a small town like this, a new county park some consider the most exciting thing the county has done or will do in decades.  It is a wonderful natural area, except for some pine plantations (which are handsome, but not ecologically diverse).  It also has tons of ticks, and other annoying crawlies.  And I discovered we have our very own "Leslie Knope"  here.  If you watch Parks and Recreation you know what I mean.  Otherwise, just imagine a very enthusiastic parks supervisor. 

My day started before 6 am, when I got up to make Master's breakfast.  I rushed through my morning routine of letting dogs out so I could be out of the house by 6:45.  The bird watching hike started at 7:00 and it is about a 15 minute walk from our house.  One person stopped to offer me a ride but I said I preferred to walk.  
  I had a great time.  It was the perfect day for a walk in the woods, although the birds were not as busy as normal because of a severe storm the night before.  We did see some warblers, an Oriole, some Rose Breasted Grosbeaks, a Raven (different from a crow) and heard a Rufous Sided Towhee.  When we passed the spot where Master had had me strip down and as he took naked pictures of me I had a secret inner smile to myself.

After the bird watching there was an early spring flower hike with a famous botanist.  I was really wishing my dad was there, but he had to do other things and couldn't just drop them and come up for this (he's a botanist too, and a friend of the guy leading the hike).   He would have really enjoyed it, and I know he was wishing he was there too.

   I learned a bunch about our various local plants.   For instance, we saw the only warm blooded plant- the skunk cabbage- which keeps a little tiny plant room warm at 65 degrees even at below freezing temperatures.  It's not a room you can stand in- only about 2 or 3 inches tall.  It is pollinated by carrion insects, thus the distinctive colors and bad smell!

Saturday afternoon was our local munch.  There was a raffle and we won this!

We had a hilarious good time laughing with Mystique and other friends, and then dinner, and after that sitting around a backyard fire at Mystique's house with some friends. We didn't stay long because Master was really horny, seeing as how we hadn't had sex in DAYS.  I was a little bit too. ;)   

Friday night I had been so horny I couldn't sleep, but Master was tired and wanted sleep more than anything else.  After two hours of being hot, uncomfortable and tossing and turning, I ended up on the couch.  Where I still couldn't sleep.  Master noticed I was missing and came down to get me.  I'd taken off my collar and leash but he didn't seem to mind, though he did tell me to come back up.  Turning the fan on cooled our room down enough that I was able to  sleep finally.   

Saturday's activities had actually tamped down my desire enough that it was no longer feeling oppressive to me, but as soon as he began touching me that night it all came rushing back.

He started out by having my lie on the floor and tickling me with a feather, which was horrible.  I don't really like tickling.  It just annoys me.   Then he got out the tack bra insert and set it on my cunt.  He pressed it, smacked it, stroked me with it.  Ah, now this is what I enjoy!  I pressed back up against him when he fondled me with tacks.  He pushed it down on to my breasts as well as running it up and down my stomach.

Master stepped away to the dresser.  I was lying there thinking "Anything but fire, anything but fire, anything but fire ... doh!" he must have heard my thoughts because the lighter was between my thighs.  I struggled within myself to keep from scooting backward away from him.  I whimpered and tried my best to relax and not panic.  He didn't burn me this time; his objective was only to scare me. And he does.

Then the misery stick, used on my breasts, my ass, and he ordered me into bed.  I suppose I'm a bad slave because I just really wanted more beating.  But I obey him.   He tied my hands to the headboard, fucking me hard, which was so wonderful.  I came many times.  

Afterward I dared to ask him why he no longer beat me as hard or as long as he used to.  I felt bad about this. I kept thinking he was going to be mad at me for it, but he wasn't.  He did tease me some, though.  It seems to be a transgression, something a slave should never say or hint at.  I still feel bad about it.  But he says he wants to know stuff like this, so that's why I told him.  I'd like more, to be able to have bruises or to feel the marks the next day.  Which I just don't anymore.   He hadn't been aware of being easier on me, and he thought maybe I was just getting tougher and not reacting as much to the same level of beating as I used to.   That might be part of it, but I am sure is not the whole of it. 

I slept really well Saturday night, though.  Orgasms and fucking are good for that!

Sunday dawned early, Mother's Day.  I took that as a sign that I could make whatever I wanted for breakfast, without asking anyone else.  I made bacon and biscuits, which was yummy.   Then Master took me upstairs for a quickie.  He also beat my ass with the cane after he'd fucked me- you can see the red stripes that resulted in the top picture.  Even after several orgasms I remained ridiculously horny.   I wanted to stay in bed all day for more beatings and sex, but there was gardening to do.

We spent the rest of the day planting my new bushes, going to the garden store and then working in the vegetable garden.  It was a very enjoyable, if exhausting, day.   Our older kid made dinner while we were gardening, which was really nice.  I lightly sauted the asparagus that Master had picked from the garden, and also a morel mushroom I'd found.  I don't like mushrooms but he does, so he got all of that.  

Then it was Game of Thrones night with Mystique (Master gave me another spanking at her house, as I stood bent over, pants lowered, with the new cane we won in the raffle) and bed time couldn't have been more welcome.   I like that cane quite a bit- it less painful than the misery stick, while still hurting enough to make me wince and dance around, and it is extremely handsome looking.  

Sunday, May 8, 2016

Cuntry Hos

Master was writing me a song last night.  This is partly his, and some of my own additions because I couldn't remember exactly what he sang.  

Almost heaven, wet vagina
Beautiful labia
Juices like a river 
Life is sweet here
Doing as I please
Thrusting in and out again
Right between her knees.
Cuntry Hos take me home,
To the place where I belong.
Wet vagina, come inside her
Take me home, cuntry hos.

Thursday, May 5, 2016

Learned Helplessness

"Are you ready for me to come now, slave?" he asked, pounding into me.

"No, Master," I replied, suspecting that this was the wrong answer, but really, really I was not ready to be done yet.  Didn't we just start?

Ahem. He cleared his throat warningly, "I said, 'Are you ready for me to come now?' "

"Whatever you want, Master." I knew that this was the right answer.

"Yes, but are you ready now?"

"Yes, Master."

"Are you really, whore?"  Now I wasn't sure. What did he want me to say, jeez!
"Yes, no, I don't know, Master, whatever you want", I stammered in confusion.

The next day I asked him what he wanted from me at that point.

"Learned helplessness."

Like the rat in the cage who is shocked by the floor, but can't predict or avoid it, so she just gives up all attempts at escape and accepts her fate. 

What he wanted was my confusion, my inner turmoil, my surrender, my willingness to say anything to please him, to be completely helpless before him. 
Unable to be right, I would just be.

When I think about you, I touch myself: Kink of the Week: Masturbation

I guess I wouldn't call masturbation a kink, but it is about sex, and it is the topic of the week, so here we go:

So, lets talk about you and masturbation.
Are you a regular wanker?

Yes.  Every day, generally, when allowed by my Master.  I haven't always been a regular though.  Before I was a slave, I rarely masturbated at all.  It was more of an every few months thing, and only when he wasn't around for some reason.  Why?  Well, I just wasn't thinking about it.  I didn't need it, so I didn't do it.

 When did you first start masturbating?

I don't remember the age, but probably as a younger teen.  I always used a towel between my legs, to hump on, that was my only method.  When I started a relationship with Master, he bought me some vibrators and I used those, both with him and alone.

Was it a wonderful discovery of a shameful secret? 

Some of both, I guess.  My mom got me the book "Our Bodies, Ourselves", and I read it cover to cover.  I knew that masturbating was a normal thing that most people did, but also that is was private, and kind of embarrassing.  

Maybe you were bought up in a environment where you were taught that touching yourself was ‘devils play’, how did this effect you and your exploration of your self pleasure?

No, my parents were not like that at all.  One time I even asked my mom how I could get an orgasm while having sex because I was having trouble with that and Master said "Well, why don't you ask your mom?"     I believe I was 17 or 18 at the time.  And she answered me without making me feel shamed.  She already knew we were having sex, and she had even taken us shopping for spermicide.  That was a whole story in itself!

Do you like to use sex toys when you masturbate? Maybe you have a favorite toy or maybe you prefer the joys of your own hand/fingers and nothing else.

Yes.  Since I got the Hitachi Magic Wand that is the one I use.  It's just the best, for me anyway, since I don't have access to a Sybian (those are great!). 
Sometimes I will also stick in the butt plug or use another toy to penetrate my pussy, but mostly just the magic wand.   I've never really relied solely on my fingers. 

Does masturbation feature in your relationship? Is watching your partner getting off is seriously hot or something that makes you uncomfortable, alternatively how do you feel about being watched?

Yes, I have restrictions on masturbation, that is part of our relationship.  I think having some restrictions makes it even more fun and enticing.  I don't mind watching or being watched.  I find it hot.  I didn't always though; I used to be embarrassed, but I got over that.  My Master rarely masturbates these days, unless it is part of our play and he's going to come on me.  Generally if he wants to get off he just uses me. I get really hot if he makes me lie on the floor and he stands over me and jacks off.  
What do you think about when you masturbate? Is there a favorite, orgasm guaranteed, fantasy that you like to think about when you are reaching between your thighs? Do you like to watch porn, or maybe you prefer the stimulation of the written word?

I have several good masturbation fantasies that I don't like to share because sharing them makes them less exciting for me.  
So, I'm not telling!   I don't usually watch porn or read it while I'm engaged in the act.  I just play scenarios out in my head.  Sometimes the scenes in my head are from the last time Master and I were doing sexy things together.

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

A Turned Around Day

You know how sometimes you wake up grouchy for no reason?  
That was me yesterday.  I tried really hard not to show it or take it out on anyone.  But when Master came downstairs and started to make his own tea and toast I didn't leap up and offer my service.  I sat and drank my coffee.  I know if he really wanted me to do it he would tell me to get off my ass and do it.  So I figured that he wanted to do that himself.  And I tried not to feel guilty.  Although I felt a little guilty anyway.  But not actually guilty enough to tear myself away from the internet.  

Such are the small day to day moments of M/s that most people have, but that don't really make compelling reading.

After a few cups of coffee and a couple hours to wake up, I was feeling ambivalent about everything, about life in general, but not grouchy.   
I did a few things around the house, and then Master called me in to rub his feet.  This soon settled my mind into peaceful humility, as it usually does.  

He allowed and encouraged me to worship him.  His feet were first rubbing, then when allowed, his cock and his balls all got my attention.  He had me undress and put on only the new blouse I'd bought the day before.  Then he had me strip that off before it got messy.  On my knees again.  He ordered me to go upstairs, get the leather cuffs on, and bring some rope down. Then he took me outside an ordered me to squat and pee.  I was naked except for my collar and cuffs and the wind was whipping around me.  I could hear cars passing just beyond the  hill and trees, and I felt more exposed than exposed.   I didn't really need to urinate, so only a few drops came out, but that was good enough.  

We went back in, and he tied a rope harness on me, with a happy knot rubbing just the right place.  I continued pleasuring him on my knees, as he watched porn.  At point he told me to watch with him, and I rather ruined it by commenting,

"Hey, she looks just like ____ (friend of ours)".  

She did too, but I guess I wasn't supposed to say so.  The girls in the porn are so young, such tiny and tight bodies.  I put that out of mind and return to pleasuring my Master.  It is all about him now.  I suck his balls, lick his cock, give him lustful looks if he happens to glance down at me.  I am his pleasure hole.  I rub on my rope knot and feel my own orgasm building.  He really is secretly paying more attention to me because just when I think can't stand it anymore he tells me to come.  Sometimes he has me bend over for the paddle, or for his cock to enter, or he has me lie spread out on the floor and touch myself.   I am his plaything, and his fuck hole.

After a few hours (ok, I don't really know how long) we go upstairs and he flogs and canes me.  He orders me to put in the butt plug.  It hurts at first, because I just shoved it on in there quickly to avoid a reprimand, but as he flogs me it feels better.  He attaches clamps to my nipples and flogs me.  Then the misery stick.  At times I am on my knees in front of him, worshiping, as he beats me.  After my back is good and warmed, he gets out his knife and runs it over my skin.  I'm longing for more, harder, cut me... please hurt me...

He does hurt me, but with the evil misery stick, not the knife.  We're in bed and he's beating me as I lie on my side to suck him. 

Many, many rounds more of alternating beating, fucking and sucking later we collapse in a sticky, wet mess on the bed.   I love him so.  I don't know how he can wonder why I do.  He's just done the work of seven men to wear me out this much!

The rest of the day was more low key, but with both of us in sleepy good spirits we showered, went out to lunch at our favorite Japanese place (Master had sushi and I had chicken), then the garden store, then took a long walk at high speed (part jogging most of the way) to wake us up.    


Sunday, May 1, 2016

The Lawnmower Now Has My Assprint.

To celebrate May Day, the tradition is, of course, the outdoor fucking.  Master and I went on a long walk and I thought for sure he was going to pull me into the woods somewhere, but, though he gave me some sidelong very considering glances, he did not.

  Instead he waited until we got all the way home and made me kneel in the dirt of an open shed to suck him.  He got me mostly naked and bent me over the (very dusty) lawnmower, then on my knees again.  Then he picked me up and plunked me down on the hood of the lawnmower.   My pants were still on, around my ankles, and also my shoes.  But he simply raised my legs to one of his shoulders and took me like that.  Lawnmowers work something like sex swings, evidently.  

I know I posted this before, but it is the song of the day:

  First of May.

My Fantasy and Reality

Master incorporated bits of the story I wrote for him on Friday into our play session on Saturday.  It was just as hot as I imagined.

He felt me up in the kitchen while I was trying to make breakfast, and as quickly as we could we met upstairs.   He told me to crawl to him and kiss his feet.  Then remove his shoe and kiss. Then remove his sock and keep on kissing.  I felt very humble, and excited too.  He told me to make my way up, slowly, to his cock.   I worshiped.

He had me put on my collar and wrist and ankle cuffs.  He whipped me with the belt as I was trying to do this so that my hands fumbled with the buckles.  It's hard to concentrate when your ass is stinging! Finally he took the last cuff in his hands and buckled it for me.

He made me kneels on all fours, then, taking a piece of string, he tied all the cuffs together with my hands between my legs, so I was balancing on knees and head for my flogging. 

Then I'm not sure what happened next.  There was flogging and fucking, and eventually the string came off, and he rolled me over to my back.  He beat my tits with the misery stick, and fucked me some more, and he closed off my mouth and nose with his hand until I didn't think I could take it any more.  Then he let me take one panicked, ragged breath before he shut off my air again.  When he'd done that enough, he made me orgasm.  For a good couple hours there was more fucking and beating until we were both weak-kneed and hungry for lunch.

Sometimes reality does turn out better than fantasy!

Just a little update

I'm still doing the weight watchers program, and am down a total of 6 lbs, 4 of which of course were the first week.   I am fitting into...