Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Bonus Post

Through some last minute cramming, I reached my goal of 20 posts for the month!   

This is a bonus post, but not a very big one.  


Sunday Sex Day

It's getting cold here now, and what better time to get all heated up in bed?  

Sunday afternoon we somehow lucked out in that both kids went to different friends' houses.  It wasn't planned but it just worked out that way at the last minute.   And what did Master and I do?

We went to the hardware store and then played Pokemon.  And the grocery store.  

But that was because we'd already discretely and quietly fucked earlier in the morning (I hope it was quiet, anyway).   Master also beat me with the cane quite hard.  I bit the pillow.   

Sunday night at bedtime he wanted me again.  I was all snuggled down warm and cozy in bed but he pulled back the covers and shoved my legs apart.   This was just a quick use of his slave's cunt and then we cuddled up for sleep.   


Saturday Herding Day

Saturday my Master had to work all day, and I had arranged herding lessons for 5 different dogs, with their various owners.  The best part was that one of them was owned by a friend I haven't seen in at least a decade, never mind the fact that she only lives 2 hours from here.  We just never manage to get together, though I'm usually up for it, she is busy with her own things.  But she just happened to be in town and came by to see if her dog still liked sheep.   And, hopefully, also to see me.

I was a bit worried about how my foot would hold up (I have plantar fasciatis) but I took large amounts of Vitamin I and taped the heck out of it, and I stretched a lot.  I spent about 2.5 hours walking in circles with the various dogs, and my foot did pretty well.  Some of the dogs were GREAT, and some were not really up to the job, but I think everyone had fun anyway, except probably the sheep.   (Sorry guys, but you have to earn your keep some days).   

What are you looking at?

What Makes You Feel

 I answered this question someone asked, and have expanded it a little bit for reposting here. 

What makes you feel loved/owned/close to your Master?

When he tells me to do things.
When he tells me not to do things.
When he pets my hair.
When he randomly gropes or smacks me.
When he tells me he loves me.
When he tells me every night that I'm his and I'm a good slave, and he hooks on my leash.
When I serve him.
When he does nice things for me, like when he rubs my sore foot as we watch Vikings.
When I wait on my knees for him to come upstairs, or to come to bed.
When he tells me I need to do better.

When I have failed in his service and he lets me know.
When I have succeeded in his service and he says "Good slave".
When we have sex or do s/m things.
When we go out together.
When we stay home together.

Monday, October 30, 2017

TMI Tuesday: Thinky Thoughts a little early

1. What do you think about when you’re alone in your car?

Usually what gyms I am going to go take over in Pokemon Go.  If I'm on a long trip I like to have audiobooks to entertain me and give me something to think about.  More rarely I will be thinking about our relationship aspects, something I read somewhere, or how great it would feel to be caned/whipped/have sex.

2. What advice do you have for your previous lover?

I have nothing.  I'm not really into giving unasked for advice.  They didn't ask me, so...

3. What  inspires you?

The Tao of Pooh and the Dalai Lama.

4. If you were to get rid of one person in your life, who would it be and why?

Already done, bam.  Why wait around?  I don't need to be in contact with people I can't stand.

5. How do you cope when your level of sexual desire doesn’t match your partners?

My Master has a motto for this:  "Suffer, bitch".  That's pretty much it, besides repeating my mantra to myself.

Bonus:  Are you single, why? Are you married, why?

I'm married to my Master, and have been since 1993.  Why? Because we made a lifelong commitment to each other and being married has advantages, especially socially with family when you are going to be together forever. 

For more TMI Tuesday blogs:   https://tmituesdayblog.wordpress.com/2017/10/30/tmi-tuesday-october-31-2017/

Sunday, October 29, 2017

Halloween Fantasy

Note: this is fantasy.  I like to start out with that lest people be mislead. 

Master told me at 7:00 pm that we were going out to a Halloween party and I should get dressed.   I put on my Dolores dress and he wore his black suit.   With a stern, foreboding look he disallowed the wearing of any under garments for me.  He also told me to wear the leather collar.

We stepped outside into a brisk, damp chill of late October Wisconsin night.  It was already dark and the coyotes were having a fit about something in the distance.  I shivered as I opened the gate and got in the passenger seat.  Master had me lift my long skirt up so I was entirely visible to him from the waist down, but he didn't touch me.  I saw him glance over now and then, which alone made me feel lustfully heated.

After an hour and a half of travel we turned in to the gravel drive of a country house I'd never been to before.  The driveway was long and overhung with grim trees.    As we bumped along slowly, I saw in front of us a black shape ease out of the darkness and then slide across to vanish on the other side.  "Cat", I thought.  Or perhaps a fox.  Maybe somewhat large for a fox, but the movement wasn't casual enough to be dog-like.

Master parked the car to the side of the drive under a huge oak tree, still with many dry leaves clinging, although the maples and birches of the forest had already dropped their clothing for the winter.  

He took out of his black bag a blindfold and tied it around my eyes.  

"Wait here", he told me.   

I became apprehensive, but I didn't protest.  I waited in the car for perhaps five or ten minutes, listening intently, not moving.  I heard the sounds of him leaving, the car door being shut, gravel crunching.  A quick knock and the sounds of muffled voices.

Minutes of silence.  An owl called out "Who cooks for you. Who cooks for you" into the night.  I felt chilled.

More minutes of silence, then footsteps on the gravel, as of several approaching persons.  They didn't speak.

My car door was opened and someone silently helped me out of the car.  The hands did not feel familiar.  They were rough and sure.  I inhaled deeply the scent of unfamiliar men, trying for any clues about my situation.  It had to be men; I can tell. My arms were bent firmly behind my back and tied at the wrists.  Another hand stroked my neck gently before gripping my collar tightly.  I was lead this way, one hand on my collar from the front and another on my hands in the back, over the rough gravel.  I concentrated on keeping my balance in boots not made for roads this rustic.  

"Step up" a strange, hoarse voice commanded from the man holding my collar.  "Three steps".  

I carefully felt my way up the stairs and across a porch before hearing the door creak open and the sound of a slamming old farmhouse style screen behind.   The interior was warm and smelled lightly of cinnamon.  I was lead, still by at least two men, down several hallways until I heard a door close behind us.   This room did not smell of cinnamon, but of a heavy musty scent tinged with a strange metallic flavor.  The house was much larger than it had looked from the front. 

The men pushed me to my knees and I heard the click of a knife opening.  

"Dolores."  It was my Master speaking.  "It's time you and I became reaquainted".   He gripped the neck of my dress tightly and I felt the knife point on my skin.  I held very still, despite my quaking inside.  

He ripped into the fabric with the knife, shredding the dress.  The knife move down to a spot just below my ribs and pressed in.  Fear gripped me.  He wasn't letting up, but cut just into my skin until I felt a trickle going down my side.  I sobbed and began to beg "Please no" very faintly.  No one took notice.

"Slave" he said, "Stand up".   I stood and the top half of the dress was ripped away.  The knife was placed against my lips now.  The metallic scent in the air was redoubled.  "Kiss it".  I pressed trembling lips against the metal, repelled and excited by my own blood. 

He led me forward a few steps and pulled my neck down until I was resting the top half of my body on a bench of some sort.  My hands were released from behind my back only to be chained with cuffs to the bench over my head, both restrained at once by two separate sets of hands.   

My skirt was hiked up to my waist by yet a third person, and a cold metal sharpness placed against my inner thigh.   My legs were being chained apart by the hands that had just secured my wrists.  A gentle hand replaced the metal between my legs, probing for wetness.  I felt a weight on my back as the man leaned over me.  I could feel him fumbling between touching me and undoing his own pants.   I felt his cock rubbing me, teasing me, not fucking me.   For long minutes this went on as I grew wetter and more desperate to be taken.  I wasn't even sure which of the men was my Master now, or even if he was still in the room.  My cunt seemed to have a mind of its own, not caring about that, only wanting to be filled by something long and hard.  

The man stepped back.  "Oh no" said my Master, his voice coming from in front and to the right of me, "We need to fix this little slut up more before fucking her." 

I felt the knife again, this time sliding down the back of my leg.  Sliding hard, pricking me painfully.  I knew there was going to be blood.   Across my ass, cutting sharply, I could feel the wetness and I cried out in fear more than pain, although the pain was bright and clear.  Two sets of hands were on my ass then, rubbing around the wetness, rubbing it down lower into my asshole and into my cunt. 

I heard my Master again.  "These men have given me a decent amount of money for you slave, for your use.  I will be back when they are done with you."  

Fear gripped me.  I tried to protest, to call out my pleas for him not to leave me with strangers; wanting the man I trust to watch out for me to stay.   My pleas were cut short by a sharp slap to my upturned face. 

"Hush, slave, and be obedient to them, like you would be for me."  

I heard his footsteps retreating across the wood plank floor and I despaired.


Saturday, October 28, 2017

Good morning!

This morning I got up like every morning to make breakfast for Master.  It's a freezing, cold, damp, windy fall day.   A good day to stay indoors by a fire.  Too bad I have a full schedule of sheep herding lessons for the day!  I'll be out in it if they don't cancel because of the weather.

The good part of my morning is Master telling me to come out and open the gate for him.  I was wearing my leopard print bathrobe as usual, so I slipped on my down parka over it, and my muck boots instead of slippers.  I'm sexy and I know it.

As I stand there with the gate open, Master pulls up and looks at me significantly.  Part of my gate opening duties is always flashing him some tits, but this time I have to open the coat snaps and then find my way through the robe to do it.  Then he tells me to turn around, bend over, and lift up my robe.  I do it with a cheeky grin around at him.   Then we say our "I love yous" and he heads out to work.  It's a good start to the day.  

Halloween Hike

Last night I went to a candlelit Halloween hike alone.  Our kid had a date, and he hasn't got his license yet so he needed me to drive him.  As long as I was there, I hiked a little bit by myself.  There was a huge crowd, as this is one of the main events for our town, but I felt more lonely walking there in the dark alone with families and lovers all around who were all having a great time.  

My foot ached.  It was cold and dark.  I tried standing and looking out at the hauntingly beautiful lake with the lights reflected off of it, but I only felt more alone.   I gave up after a short time and went back to my car, where at least I could sit down and be warm.   It was drizzling and near freezing temperature.  I didn't drive all the way back home because I didn't know when the kid would need to be picked up and with the weather I thought it might be less rather than more time.  I regretted not going home though.
 I underestimated the power of youth and interest in a girl to ward off the chill.   It sounds like it is getting serious, since he's already been to dinner with her parents, who it turns out know my Master.  Small town life, eh?   

When we got home it was already bedtime, because Master works all day again today.   I snuggled in next to him, before I'd even finished taking care of the dogs for the night.  They needed one more letting out and feeding.  I couldn't resist a naked cuddle and he was so warm.   He kicked me out after a few minutes, and I went down to take care of dogs as fast as possible.

He was still awake when I got back, and we could cuddle and chat some more.   Cuddling led to his hand between my legs.  Which led to... more.  All my existential loneliness was banished like magic.  

Thursday, October 26, 2017


Master has been commenting on the lack of blog entries here lately.

So I have given myself the quite reachable goal of getting to 20 blog posts for the month before November, which means more than one per day.  

This is my Halloween costume.  Master had it custom made for me.  It is quite modest, being a Victorian style dress.  Unless you leave it unbuttoned, of course. 




We were watching porn on the couch.  Well, he was watching porn.   I was bent over Master's lap, giving head, so I didn't see any of it.

He let me flavor his dick with my cunt once (that is what he says), but then I was to go back to sucking.   His hips rose up to me, his cock deep in my throat making me unable to breathe and getting me close to gagging.  His hand pressed down on the back of my neck.  The expression of his desire and excitement made my cunt clench.  

He said it was time to go upstairs.  I began gathering up all my clothes and shoes that had been discarded in a flurry on the floor.  I stood and walked away, but he grabbed me and swiped my legs out from under me.  He kicked me and then was on top of me, punching my shoulder.  The pain went on and on until I started to cry.  "You like this, huh? You wanted this?"

I agreed that I did, although it really hurt like fuck with a sharp pain in my shoulder that lingered.  

He let me stand up and regather all my things.   

Upstairs, he had me get on hands and knees on the floor.  He gave me enough hard strikes with the cane that I was wiggling a bit in place trying to deal with the pain.  Then he had me stand up by the dresser and he flogged me.  After the flogging, he got out the thick leather belt and began snapping it across my back, ass and thighs.  I was getting really excited by that. 

He pulled me down to the floor again and took me from behind, hard and fast.  It felt amazing and a little painful, just painful enough.  When he ordered me to, I came.

Then I was up again, by the dresser, for more belt whipping.  Master took me to bed after that and fucked me until we were both exhausted.  

Wednesday, October 25, 2017

Edge Players and the Public Scene

So I was reading on Fetlife about some edge players and how their CNC relationship was misconstrued as complete lack of consent during a class demo.  It is a rather huge bruhaha, but after reading all that, both sides and all the comments, I'm seeing how smart my Master has been to play with me differently in public and private.  Anyone who has seen us play in public probably thinks we play like anyone else.  The things that are undercurrents to that public play, the authority structure, the ways we talk at home, the things he'll do at home but not in public, are much, much different, and truthfully, the private stuff (which I do write about) is sooo much more important to me as the reality of the relationship.  Which is that he is in charge, not me.  

The debate also shows the vast, vast gulf between those who have a CNC full time relationship, and the majority of kinksters who just do scenes once in a while, or once a week.  They end up talking past each other, neither side really getting the point of the other way of doing things with no common ground other than they both like kinky stuff.  

Anyone else been following this issue or debate?     

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

TMI Tuesday: Caring

1. How much time do you spend taking care of your significant other:
a. More than taking care of myself, more than 60% of my time.
b. About 50% of my time.
c. 10% to 49% … I have kids!
d. Not really any time at all, definitely less than 10% of my time.

I don't think I take care of him at all, not in a parental way.  That's just not the way I think of our relationship.  When he's sick or feeling run down there might be a bit of care-taking.
I serve him all the time, or as much as I can.  I take care of the house, the kids, the dogs.  
2. How do you sleep at night?
a. With the whole bed to my myself…yaay!
b. I stay on my own side, someone else on other side.
c. We snuggle–start that way or end up that way.
d. We do not sleep together.

I sleep excellently.  I am tied to my side of the bed. My Master is on his side.  We snuggle at first but then get a little space- millimeters- to actually fall asleep.  

3. What happens when you or your significant other gets home from work?
a. Stop what you are doing to greet and hug each other
b. Engage in conversation about the day
c. No specific acknowledgement of each other, no specific welcoming gesture but go about a household routine
d. Ignore each other

I always greet him and often we hug and kiss.  We ask each other about our days and then get busy with eating dinner together.
4. How many things about yourself would you change? Share 3 things and tell us why.

I want a smaller tummy.  I also hate dieting.  I want my foot to stop hurting.  I want to be brave and confident. 
Bonus: How many things would you change about a current significant other.

I can't think of anything.   



Saturday night I was exhausted and asked permission to go to bed early.  Master said yes, but also he would be waking me up later for sex because he wasn't quite ready to go up yet.

"Promise?" I asked.

"Yes, I promise," he said. 

I had been asleep for maybe an hour or two when I felt the covers being pulled back and my legs being shoved apart.  He rubbed his cock against my pussy, but not finding it very wet yet, he changed to come up by my face.  I sucked him, waking slowly to full consciousness.  He was rough with me, and said he wanted me to cry, wanted me to feel raped and forced.  But, sadly, I was having too much fun and I could not cry for him.   

Monday, October 23, 2017

Part Two: Love, Beauty, and Godliness


A few minutes later, at my Master's instigation, we all got up and moved on to the next room.   She had brought her strap on harness to fuck me with, so they had me picking out dildos from a large selection that they had.  Which one did I want? What would fit?  I had no idea- I never had a choice before, I just take what they give me!  We went with a middle size penis.

After a short bit of socializing, we found another corner of the dungeon and Master had me strip naked and get up on the cross.  He began with a flogging, and soon had Wolfmoon join me.  Master tied a rope harness around my chest, which would be useful later.  He flogged us double handed at the same time.   This felt wonderful. 

I was startled as unexpectedly she fell to the floor beside me.  Travis had come up, unseen by me, and was punching her so hard she'd gone down.  She was on the ground and he was kicking her.  I saw another blur from the corner of my eye.  Someone was moving toward us quickly, but I couldn't be sure if they were concerned about the scene and wanted to keep an eye on this woman who had just collapsed under a rain of blows, or if they were just very keen spectators.  I still don't know, but we continued without interruption.  Master began punching me in the ass.  I kind of wanted to be knocked down on the floor too, but what are you going to say in a situation like that?  "Do me, too?"  That didn't seem like the sort of thing one is allowed to say, so I watched with intense and growing excitement.   I did not see, but I learned later, that he had weighted sap gloves.

We moved to another piece of equipment, a bench, where she lay on her back and Master and I gave her much attention.  I was on the floor on my knees using my tongue and fingers.  Master was doing other things, things that involved a cane, to her top half.  I couldn't see, but I know there was a cane because now and then it would come down hard on my ass, for inspiration I think.

We switched places and then I was on the bench, lying on my stomach.  A hand rubbed my cunt and parted my lips.  Her strap on nudged the edges.   I wiggled back against her, trying to find the right angle.  When it entered me for a second I wondered if I shouldn't have picked a smaller one, or asked for some lube, or something!  Because that was a little tight! Another second later and I knew it was going to be ok.  It felt amazing.  She must have gotten a core workout too, because this fucking went on and on.  I came several times, and got louder and louder until Master stuffed some panties in my mouth.  Not my panties, btw. 

  Sometimes it hurt, but it was all a good pain.  We switched positions so I was lying on my back.  I rubbed my clit as she fucked me again.  So incredible!  Master came up to my head, turned my face toward him and I sucked him as I got fucked.  OMG.  This was better than my imagination. I was back down on the floor eventually.  Master had beat her with the cane, and I could see how warm and red her ass was.  I kissed her.  My God that is a beautiful ass.

We took in turns doing all sorts of things to each other.  It was a good thing they had put a tarp down because everything on top of it was soaked.  She pulled out and they had me down on my knees in front of them, sucking on both in turns.  Then both her and I were on our knees.  After some more fucking, Master told me I could go sit on Travis' lap.  My knees were shaking and my legs barely able to hold me up.  I was welcomed into an embrace, which was super cuddly for about one minute before the hurting began again.  Biting, mainly.

I bit him right back, when he asked me to, and he loved it, encouraged it and asked for more and harder.  Grrr, am fierce (haha)!

 I didn't leave enough marks.  Except on his leather pants, oops.  It was a good thing for me that was not a "You wet them, you buy them" situation.

I had no idea what Master and Wolfmoon were doing at that time.  I wasn't looking.  I asked him later though.  Hot :).

This was a fantastic evening!  So much anticipated and enjoyed!

I love my friends.

 You know what we did the next day?  We all went to a Lutheran church supper together, which felt a bit bizarre and incongruous to me but we had a great time there as well.    I feel like I might belong more in a church that is covered in naked sex sculptures.   But I do like lefse.

Sunday, October 22, 2017

Part One: Once Bitten

"Some people choose to see the ugliness in this world. The disarray. I choose to see the beauty." 

--Dolores Abernathy, on Westworld.

Friday night we made plans to see our friends at a party a few hours from home.  It was a long day for my Master, but so worth it.

My Dolores costume was done, and Master's Man in Black outfit was all put together for this was a Halloween theme party. He was so panty-droppingly handsome in his black jeans, shirt, hat, and vest!  He decided it would be better not to have even a replica gun at the party, but he did have a large sword tucked in his belt. 

 I wanted to lick him.  I would have to wait.

A horror movie of some kind is playing on the main screen in the dungeon.  We start in a small quiet room off to the side on our own near the entrance, just the four of us.   It is a dark, intimate space, lit only by a glowing green lamp from the corner.  A couple pieces of dungeon furniture adorn the room, including a massage table.   I am standing in the doorway when Travis steps up behind me, wraps a hand around my throat and squeezes.   I focus my mental energy on remaining still, being limp and accepting, on not fighting back.  Because (I don't know if this is "of course" or if it is just me) my first impulse is to resist, to fight, to escape.  I know I am about to lose my air.  He's squeezing harder.  I'm probably going to collapse, possibly be unconscious for a second.  

Or maybe not.  

He lets go.  I smile.  I'm so excited, so turned on, so ready for all of it; I feel ready for anything.  He's got me by the throat again, squeezing again, and this time my legs do buckle.  I think he's saying some sexy things to me, but I don't know what they are, it is all over-shadowed by that one hand, life condensed down to one hand and my throat.   Then he's propping me up, keeping me from falling until I regain the strength in my legs.   Hurting me with his hands, kissing, then biting me, he next leads me to a table in a corner of the room.   I start to whimper and he thinks I am laughing. 

"Are you laughing at me?" he accuses me.

I protest that I am not, but his appeals to the front desk guy just in the other room on the necessity of making rules about slaves not laughing at Doms and ruining their scenes with disrespectful mirth is beginning to make me actually giggle despite myself.    The laughing doesn't last long.  Travis bites down hard on the back of my neck, not letting up, but getting harder and harder.  I feel an instinctive terror setting in and my accepting acquiescence turns to a need to get away from the pain. I began to struggle.   As I struggle, Travis says in my ear, "Your Master said I could do anything I wanted with you. So why are you trying to get away?  You're not going anywhere."  He holds my chin and slaps my cheek several times.  

I attempt to wrap my mind around holding still but I don't know how successful I really am.  I feel wetness soaking through my panties with each bite to my neck.   It goes through them entirely and then down my leg and even into my boot. I am still wearing the floor length skirts of the costume.   Feeling the trickle into my boot makes me sob slightly for some reason.  Perhaps the shame at being such a wanton slut. 

He bends me over the massage table just in front of us and begins lifting my long Victorian-style skirt and under-skirt.  It's double layered for volume and warmth.  When my bottom is exposed he spanks me a few times and then tells me to go see if I can help out my Master with his wife.  

I look around.  I hadn't paid any attention to what they'd been doing, but now I see that Wolfmoon, Travis' slave and wife, is lying on the floor with her leather corset, short skirt, and some sexy high heeled black boots.  My Master is lying on top of her, fully dressed in a black suit, with a sword in his hand.  Wolfmoon and I share a fondness/weakness for sharp, pointy things.    I kneel down on the floor to see what I could do to her.   She has the most beautiful hands, I notice, not for the first time.

Thursday, October 19, 2017

Days Like This

After a delightful lunch for three, we moved on to his bedroom.   I stood in the center of the room, my hands behind my back, looking down, waiting.

My Master was somewhere behind me, I couldn't see.  
Dr. Peter undid the third button to my sweater.  I had already undone the top two before I left home, just so.

 Dr. Peter used a leather tawse to tease the material away from my nipples, playing and stroking each one.   I sighed and arched myself to meet the delicious touch.  He gently lifted each breast free of the sweater now that it was open nearly to my navel, but didn't remove the garment entirely.  I felt even more exposed than if I had stripped myself down to nothing at all, being this way partially and deliberately uncovered.    

He began to pat each breast with the tawse, then to strike more firmly until I gasped in pain. Master pressed close behind me and pulled my arms back tightly, making my chest arch outwards even further.   

I was stripped completely, invited to step out of my skirt, which I did awkwardly and then knelt on the bench at the foot of the bed.   

Two hours later.  

All I can remember is the cricket bat and a cane that turns into a sword.  This is the first time any of us have used a cricket bat as a beating instrument.  I liked it.  It was less painful than some other implements even though it looks like a paddle.  It's made of willow- I'm not sure if they all are, or just this one.

The list of implements they used, from Dr. Peter:

Thin rattan canes, stingy.
Thicker rattan canes, thuddy,
Malaysian Dragon school cane
Smoked Dragon school cane, crook-handled
Whangee Cane  (this one has knobs, which makes it extra painful)

A picture from the web, whangee canes:

Extra long Smoked Dragon canes (one dark brown, one reddish brown, with wrapped straight handles).  Afterward I sniffed the handles to see what they were wrapped with and it was a fragrant leather.

Three tawses (two Scottish, one American) made with bridle leather.

A walking stick which concealed a sword.  I didn't see what they were using on me until later, but I could feel the sharpness going up and down my back.  Also between my legs, poking painfully into my tender bits.   I can hold very still when I need to.

And the piece de resistance,  a Tench Sports cricket bat, used by both Master and Dr. Peter. Made with willow.  Thuddy.
After all the beating and sucking and fucking was done, and a final cup of tea was shared as I sat gingerly in my chair at the table, Master and I were on our way home again.  

I love days like this.  

Thursday, October 12, 2017

The Man In Black

Sitting at the kitchen table with my computer, listening to Crime and Punishment on audiobook, I heard steps behind me.  I smelled leather first, then a gloved hand went across my mouth.   A large knife, machete really, was at my throat and Master told me I needed to get upstairs.  He was dressed all in black.  Felt hat. Black suit coat. Black vest. Black jeans.  Black leather gloves.  Only his tie was gray, setting off the black.    He whispered in my ear as he ordered me to strip and then held the knife against my neck "You know what is going to happen next, don't you, Dolores?"  I shook my head as small as I could so as to avoid jostling his knife.  

"I can rape you before or after I kill you." That's a chilling thing to hear, even if I don't believe it.  My heart was pounding and my breath quick and shallow in my chest.  "It doesn't make any difference to me which way," he said coldly.  The knife traced down my chest.  

"These violent delights have violent ends." 

"There are only two ways you live tonight.  Either everything you can well enough to please me and make me want to keep you.  Or fight me and escape."

I felt no fight in me at that moment, and not knowing what I was supposed to say, I answered "I'll do whatever you want, Master."

That was the wrong answer, he told me.  He shoved me down on the bed and pinned my arms over my head.  He took the leash and wrapped my wrists, tying them off.   He entered my cunt straight away, and I was wet but somewhat unprepared.  It was tight.   He put his hand on my throat and pressed down.  Before I got light headed he let go and removed the gloves.  He used them to slap my breasts and my face.   Master had me in many positions, going from my cunt to my mouth and back repeatedly.  

In the end he came in my mouth and as he was doing so he held my head still in his hands, impaled on his cock, for a good long time; it seemed like minutes, as I tried to breathe and swallow at the same time. 

Bullwhipped and Ass Fucked

I think Master wanted to make our first time after I came back from my trip special.

Right after breakfast he had me put on my leather collar and a black silk slip.  I brought him a light cane and a heavy cane when he told me to pick a couple of implements out.   He ordered me to come stand by him at the kitchen table.  Master folded me down over his lap and gently lifted my silk slip up, sliding it over my bottom.  Then there was no caress but a hard slap, and another, and a dozen more after that.  

He let me down on the floor and directed me to start sucking.  Intermittently he'd have me stand and he would beat me with either the light cane or the wooden cutting board.   I was on his lap and I was bent over the kitchen counter.  My ass was smarting and my cunt was leaking.  I knelt on a towel on the floor and sucked him excitedly and vigorously.  When I felt him get close to coming I slowed down rather than sped up.   I desperately wanted to be fucked.

He finally led me upstairs and told me to strip and grab the dresser.  I could hear the soft but distinctive sound of the uncoiling of the bullwhip behind me.   He stung my back with it over and over.  My cunt dripped and began to shake with pre-orgasmic excitement.  He told me to come. I did.  He whipped me some more, and I came again. 
Master turned me around and pushed me to my knees.  He began beating me from above, coming straight down with the cane while I sucked his cock.  This was harder and more painful than anything he'd done yet.  I was just about sobbing when he stopped, and still trying to suck him, although not, I think, very well.

He had me get in bed, and take the glass dildo.  He fucked me with that as I sucked him once more.   

He got me up again, by the dresser, and flogged me, which was wonderful.
Then he lay back in the bed and had me get on top.  It felt so good to have him inside me.  He made me come several times, and then asked if I was ready to get ass fucked.  Of course I answered "Yes, Master".  Then he made me beg him to "Please fuck my ass, Master".  I really meant it too. I begged again.

He wanted me to have the glass dildo inside my cunt as he took my ass from behind, but as soon as I closed my legs around the dildo it already began to hurt, before he even had a finger in the rear passage.  He allowed me to take the the dildo out and just hold it on the outside between my legs.  He fingered my ass with one, then two, then maybe even three fingers, I'm not sure.  It had been at least a week since I used a plug, and a really long time since he thoroughly fucked my ass.   I was grateful for the lube and for the warm up.  When he slid his cock in it was painful but mostly felt extremely good.  It was so intense though, that I was still making a lot of noises.  

Then he had me slide the glass dildo into my cunt.  From the angle I was trying to reach I could only get it in just a little way, just the tip, but it was far enough that he could feel it as he thrust in and out of me.   I begged him to hurry and come, but he said he wasn't anywhere close.    He kept fucking my butt and the pleasure/pain/but mostly degradation that is anal sex continued.  The last part, the degradation, is the one that makes me cry.  I don't consciously think it, but my body feels it right down to the core.  That's what I love about it, honestly.

Then he pulled out, took off the condom and put his cock in my mouth.  I attempted to suck him off, but he pulled back again and fucks me, this time with me on my back and my legs up in the air.   We come spectacularly at the same moment, his sounds of pleasure pushing me over the edge to enjoy one more orgasm of my own. 

That wasn't even the last for the day.  After we'd gone out to lunch and done errands he took me again, doggy style on the bedroom floor. 

Monday, October 9, 2017

TMI Tuesday -Fill In The Blank

This is a fill in the blank TMI edition, so my answers are the underlined part. 

1. I am me because being someone else would be too difficult.

2. Kittens will never, ever do laundryAnd you can't make them.

3. He was grabbing ice cubes and shoving them in my cunt. Hey, it's happened.

4. Ok, ok I’m really happy to be home tonight .

5. The charming puppy got in my car and came home.

Bonus: Tell us about places where you’ve been happiest.

In bed with my Master. I wish I was there now. Sadly I just got home from four days out of town and he had to go to work.  But tomorrow we will have a good time.  I missed him a lot.


Wednesday, October 4, 2017

A Trade

Sunday Master said he wanted to blow on my stomach, so of course I got into bare-stomach position in submission but dread.  He'd already been talking about giving me no orgasms until Tuesday, but said that if I begged really hard for the tummy blowing, I could have one orgasm on Monday.

I really, really wanted that Monday masturbation, because he's not home for more than half an hour the whole day and I get needy.

So I begged him for the tummy blow that I hate.  I even made my stomach squoosh back and forth in a ridiculous way so that it looked like at talking belly button.  He began to lower his head slowly toward my stomach, a millimeter at a time, making me squirm in anticipation.  The raspberry came, and it was not as bad as all that.  Not good, but totally worth it.   He said I could have ONE orgasm on Monday.  

When Monday rolled around, Master came home for dinner and then was immediately going to leave again, but he took 2 minutes to take me upstairs and have me suck his cock on my knees.  He even fucked me for like 30 seconds, but I couldn't orgasm, not even on command.  It was too rushed and too unexpected.  He had me come out with him to open the front gate for him, and he made me lift my shirt and flash him as he sat in the car as I stood at the open gate.  I didn't have a bra on.  Then he told me to come. He said later that he could see all the thoughts flashing across my face one after the other.
First "Oh no, that's not going to work. Again."  
Then "Shoot, maybe it is?" 
Then "OMG, orgasm time". 

He still let me masturbate last night, so technically I got a bonus orgasm.   


Tuesday, October 3, 2017

TMI Tuesday: It's Complicated

1. How do you gauge the success of your romantic relationships?

Are we both happy?
2. How often do you prefer to talk about sex with your lover?

Multiple times a day. 
3. During sex, what is your top priority?

Obedience.  A feeling of submission to his will- that is absolutely the high point for me.   Pleasing my Master, that is up there too. 
4. What advice would you like to give your partner to be a better lover? Are you afraid to give that advice?

No, I'm not afraid.  I give him advice all the time, he just does whatever he wants anyway.  
5. While in the moment of having sex, what is the best way you like to receive feedback from a lover that they are enjoying or are not enjoying sex a. moans and groans b. tell me in dirty talk c. give me direction or be explicit d. just fuck, tell me later if it was good for you

Oh, the moans and groans are the hottest.  I also love it when he gives explicit directions. 
Bonus: Are you an idiot? Why or why not?

Oh, sometimes I do dumb things or get kind of spacey.  Not in general though, in my own humble opinion.  


Just a little update

I'm still doing the weight watchers program, and am down a total of 6 lbs, 4 of which of course were the first week.   I am fitting into...