Saturday, February 28, 2015

Incentivizing

This morning I was making pancakes and cleaning up some dishes, and I got distracted with my cleaning for just a minute too long.   

I remembered the pancakes and zipped over to the stove, saying,
"I hope these aren't burned."

Master was sitting at the kitchen table.  
He commented, "They better not be or someone is going to get her ass smacked."

I gave him bit of a cheeky smile as I flipped the pancakes. 

He said rhetorically "I need to change my incentives, don't I?" 

They weren't burned, but could I still get those smacks?

Describe The Dynamic Q/A

I "borrowed" these questions from someone who was asking people to describe their dynamic and how things work for them. 

1. Do you have agreed-upon rules and punishments for your behavior?

We do have rules which he made, and the punishments are not agreed upon.  He decides both the rules and what the punishments will be without my input.

2. How often are you punished for breaking a rule?

I rarely break a rule, but I am also punished for forgetting or not doing chores, so that happens maybe once every 2-3 months. 

3. If a time comes when you are no longer comfortable with some of the rules and/or punishments, because they are too painful, time-consuming, annoying, intrusive, controlling, etc. – would your m/ be open to changing the arrangement?

Unlikely.  I would never ask him to change those things unless there was some physical reason I couldn't do things that way any more.  He is lenient on me when I'm sick, and doesn't make me do every single thing during that time because he wants me to rest up and get better.

4. Does your m/ make all financial decisions?

Yes.

5. Does your m/ determine how you dress?

He certainly can and does on occasions, but for a normal day he doesn't tell me what to wear. 

6. Does your m/ allow you to make decisions about how you spend your free time? (i.e., if you want to have a doctor’s appointment, girl’s night out, a job interview – do you tell or ask?)

For some things I would have to ask, for others I just do it.  It really depends on exactly what the activity was, because some I know are pre-approved and some are not.  Even if I wasn't required to ask, I would definitely tell him or possibly ask him anyway just for confirmation.

7. Do you work in a professional job?

No.

8. Do you have children?

Yes.

9. Do your children know about your relationship?

They know he's in charge, they do not know about it in Master/slave terms.  They know he tells me what to do.

10. When it comes to the children, who makes the important decisions about their health and safety (i.e. vaccination, diet, school, friends, after-school activities, doctor visits, medication if necessary, bedtime, punishments & rules for them, TV & video games, etc.)

He makes all those over all larger decisions.  For small things if he's not here, then I can make decisions- for example if they want to go to a friend's house and Master isn't home, I don't have to call him and ask him before saying yes or no.  I know his over all policy is to encourage the kids' social life so I always say yes unless we had prior plans. 

11. If you are not the one who has final say or a full 50/50 compromise ability to decide how the children are raised, how does it make you feel to know that you are not in control of key decisions regarding your children’s health, safety and well-being?

I know my Master is a good father, and will make the best decisions for the kids' well being that he can, so it doesn't bother me to leave a lot of that up to his opinions.  He does ask for my input on some things.

12. Does your m/ push you sexually when you are not interested, or are they considerate of your feelings?

I am his to use sexually whenever he wants.  My feelings are not always considered.  However, he's not interested in barfy or drippy nose sex, so if I'm sick he won't press it on me.  But if I'm just not in the mood?  I better get in the mood and quick!  Normally how it works is that I'm ready to go again before he's ready to use me- he'll often say "No, you're too sick" when I'm feeling better enough for some getting it on.  Again, it isn't my feeling that matters, it is his.

13. Does your m/ listen and respect you if you say “not tonight,” or “I don’t want that?”

No. 

14. If you were sick or tired, would your m/ respect your request for no sex/activity/etc?

Tired?  Not a good excuse.   Sick, he'd most likely give me a break, depending on how sick I was.

15. Does your m/type control the way you vote?

He definitely could, but so far he has not ordered me to vote a certain way.  We vote the same way anyway as we tend to agree on issues.

16. Does your m/ limit your interaction with friends and family via personal visits, phone, internet, etc, or are you allowed free rein?

There are some limits, but not onerous ones.

17. If you are in fact limited in your communications, how often?

I don't have to ask to call family members or close friends.  I would have to ask before calling/giving our contact info/meeting anyone new or going out to lunch or something with a friend (socially- does not include business contacts.)

18. Does your m/ limit his/her communications based on your needs/feelings?

No.

19. What kinds of decisions do you make for the family unit, if any? (financial, groceries, savings, vacation locations, school issues, etc.)

I do all the grocery shopping.  He decides all those other issues.

20. Would you be comfortable if your child decided to enter a relationship like yours someday?

Yes, I would support what makes them happy as long as they are being as safe as reasonable.

21. What if you wanted to go back to school and your m/ said no. Would you acquiesce, or would you put your foot down and make it happen?

I don't get to put my foot down.  I would do whatever he wanted.

22. What if you wanted to work/stop working / change jobs and your m/ said no?

Again, I am his property and slave, and so he gets to tell me what to do.

23. What if you wanted to control your free time to allow yourself more time for photography, reading, friends, cooking classes, hiking, etc, and your m/ said no. Would you insist? If not, why?

I became a slave because giving up control makes me happy.  I would not want to change that, and anyway, I don't get to insist on anything.  He owns me.  I can ask, but he can say no and I deal with it.

24. Do you have goals for the future beyond serving your m? (i.e., obtaining an advanced degree, learning a new craft, etc.)

No, not really.  I kind of wish I had more ambition, but I'm pretty much all out at the moment.

Friday, February 27, 2015

Starting With A Phone Call

Last night Master had a business meeting after work.  He called me when it was over, at nearly 9 pm, and told me to get ready "for the rest".  I knew what he meant by his tone of voice, but I coyly asked whatever could he mean by that.    

"Get ready to be beaten and fucked."  

If I'd been standing my knees would have wobbled.  But I was already in bed, and so instead my cunt started to drool and clench. 

  I was anxious and tentatively excited the whole 50 minutes it took him to drive home.  It was late.  He'd been sick all week.  Surely I was thinking if I got all worked up, he'd be tired and have changed his mind by the time he got home.   So I waited, trying not to get too excited.  But I'd been craving pain from him for the past three days, and I was very eager.  

When he arrived I was still in bed, and he said "Hi" briefly then went to brush his teeth.  I got out of bed, stripped except for a t-shirt, and waited prostrate on the floor for him.  

He came in, said "Hi, slavegirl" and told me to get in bed and lie on my stomach.  I took off my shirt.  He began right away with the misery stick.   This is an old picture below, but the misery stick is the one with the blue handle, a very thin and painful cane.  He used the leather strap on the right to bind my wrists to the headboard when I began to wiggle too much

He told me about all the girls he'd like to fuck while making me watch.  He described this in some juicy detail, then told me to orgasm.  I did, and it was huge!

He switched to the paddle after some time, and beat me until my head was all in happy and fuzzy places.  Then he fucked me.  He put his hand on my collar and pulled back.  I love that sensation.  He made me come again and again.   

When he was taking me from behind he started talking about fucking my ass, and reached over to the night table drawer to pull something out.  I wasn't sure what it was until I felt the string I have attached to the butt plug drape across my behind.  He began to press it hard into place at a slightly off angle and I squirmed trying to get it to go in the right way, and finally I asked him to shift angles a bit.  He did and it slid right in.  I felt a momentary pain as the large middle part went in, as always, but then it felt amazingly good.  His cock was still inside me the whole time.  He began fucking hard still from behind and it was a painful pleasurable sensation as he slammed into the butt plug and my cunt. 

There was a lot more after that- me on top, him on top, more punching me in the ass and orgasms.  It was a lovely night.

Oh, and his business meeting went well too :).  Inspiring, even.

Thursday, February 26, 2015

Master is sick

He's got a cold, but still going to work, so he's just exhausted all the time, poor man.  My week has been about getting stuff done and taking care of things at home. Also, the sheep are lambing.  I have been working at a little online job for a few weeks, not making much money but still better than nothing, right?

  His work is still up in the air.  We don't know what will happen, some people appear to be messing him about, and that is worrying both of us. 

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Little morning sex

Waking up
A little squeeze
A little tease
Between my legs
Fuck me please.

His Grip on my throat,
I come.
Rolling over
From behind
I moan
I gasp
He's come.
I've come.

I need to wash the sheets.

Monday, February 23, 2015

Morning Belt Practical

I often meet Master in the bedroom as he gets dressed in the morning.  Usually he reminds me of the things I have to do that day, and sometimes there is a little other reminder too.

My newest rule is that I need to have a lunch prepared for him on workdays, so I get that done before I meet him upstairs.   

This morning I waited on the steps outside his bathroom, then followed him to the bedroom.  

As he dressed, I knelt.  Then I crawled to him unasked and kissed his feet.  It's just something we like :).  It makes me feel good and submissive.

He told me to stay right there in that position.  I heard him getting out his belt, with its distinctive jangle.  The first crack landed directly on my cunt and I whimpered and nearly fell over, but struggled myself back to position.  I was instantly wet.  The next few struck on my ass.  Then he got behind me, wrapped the belt around my waist and humped against me roughly.  We were both still dressed though; sadly it was time for work.  

He ordered me to roll over and he placed his foot firmly on my neck.  He told me to come, and I did.   Then he had to head out, but I'm filled with happy tingly thoughts now.  And a sore, very wet pussy.

Sunday, February 22, 2015

KOTW: Belts

First of all, my heart goes out to Jade and her partners.  I read that one of the guys is seriously ill.  I don't know more than that which I read here:   Jade, Kink Of The Week.  

They are in my thoughts, and am hoping all will be well soon.

On to the topic of the week: belts. 

On a night, long ago, or one of many:

"Get in position". 

I grip the front of my dresser and hear him behind me.  The buckle on a belt being undone is a distinctive sound.  It makes my pussy clench.  Maybe he is taking off his pants to fuck me.  Maybe he's going to use the belt on me.   (I'm hoping for both.)

It snaps just to my right and then my left, then a quick slash over my ass.  He uses it like a whip, or like you'd snap a wet towel.  It hurts.  I love it.   

Another time a girl used a belt on me.  This time it was doubled up in her hand and smacked me over and over and over.  I had several uncommanded orgasms then because Master had not given her the key, and the sensations were so intense.  I didn't really even try to stop myself.  I don't know if I could anyway.  I was very far into subspace by then. 

Sometimes I have been fucked from behind with his belt around my neck.  Or in my mouth. 

Belts are definitely at the top of my favorite kink toys.  

And so handy for holding up pants too!


Kink of the Week

Saturday, February 21, 2015

Twuntalope Sings Like a Twuntalope Do

"The best thing about a little slavegirl is I can do whatever I want to her." 

Master said this to me this morning as he parted my thighs and slid between them.    I rubbed his cock against my hole until there was some wetness for him and he entered my cunt.   He pinned my arms above my head and fucked me, then pulled my legs up onto his shoulders.  It feels so good.  Then he pulled them up a little higher and moved his cock down to find my butt.  As always it was a struggle within myself to relax and let go of the wish to struggle.  I did relax "It's going to happen" went through my mind.  Then he was done and ordered me to get up and make his breakfast.

Last night I had asked for a spanking before bed, and he said just a quick one, but then it turned into a really hard and long beating with the misery stick.  At the same time he made up many songs to beat out on my ass, and all of them had a twuntalope sneak into them.  I sang along with him.

"We all live in a yellow twuntalope..." or "Bye, bye Miss American twuntalope..." and many more.

Just what the hell is a twuntalope, you may be asking?  

Well, it is half twat, half cunt, and not even a little bit antelope.  Or else possibly it is just a little slavegirl nickname, kind of like SluttyWaffleTwat.   Master has been teasing me for a few days that he's going to change my name to twuntalope, so he's been calling me that a lot, to get me used to it.   Or because it is funny. 

Well, I am his twuntalope after all, for better or worse.   :)

After the misery stick beating, he fucked me every which way, and gave me many orgasms.   

This is the song that I'm singing this morning:

A twuntalope sings like a twuntalope do...

The tune for that one

Friday, February 20, 2015

Life..UGH

We are having a topsy turvy time in our non-relationship parts of life.  Master's job and business things are all up in the air and it has been a very stressful time, especially the last few days, a roller coaster of ups and downs.    It's not all bad, but the uncertainty of everything stresses me out something terrible.  

Plus it is cold here, February sucks the worst, and I'd rather be on a beach somewhere with no worries and a couple margharitas.  

Wouldn't everyone?


Thursday, February 19, 2015

It Was Just A Theory

We were in bed and he'd just picked up a long willow switch when he noticed I was wearing my day collar rather than the leather one.  

"Slave, go get your other collar", he chided me.

While I was getting the leather one out and changing them I was half hidden behind the dresser.  The stick was long enough to reach out and whack me in uncomfortable places, such as my sides and thighs.   I danced and shrieked.

Master said "Well, if you'd put the collar on where I could see your ass it might not be so bad."

I moved obligingly to where he could see and get a good swing at my ass.

This time he hit much harder and again and again on my butt.  Ok, that hurt even more!

"Well, it was just a theory" he grinned at me.  

Monday, February 16, 2015

Sunday Night Blowjob

Last night Master told me it would be all about his cock, and I would not get touched, except for some light encouragement slapping, as it turned out.

I thoroughly enjoyed pleasing him with my mouth and hands.  Both hands kept cramping up, but I'd just switch off to the other one when one started aching.  When he came in my mouth with a great rush, he held my head down hard so I couldn't move, as he always does.  I love that moment.
Then he said I was such a good slave and could cuddle up with him. I was happy to have served him.

I fell right asleep, but woke up this morning extra horny.   He spanked my cunt and told me to come, but no sex, since there isn't much time in the mornings.  

Next time he wants me I know I will be eager!

Sunday, February 15, 2015

All I Want For Valentines...

Is a dungeon play room and four hours of fun (with rest and recovery breaks) with Master and several hot and sexy women...

And I got it!   

Master kept telling me he was the nice one, but when the other Top was caning me with the misery stick and Master said "Oh, you can do that much harder" and then demonstrated, making me jump and squeal, I am inclined to ever so politely and deferentially disagree.  

I am quite sore and bruised today.  We got home at about 3:30am (the kids were staying with a friend) and Master fucked me nice and hard before we slept.  Happy fucking Valentines indeed!

What a great night!    

Also, how weird is it that you can't get a hamburger at McDonalds at 2 am?  Quarter pounder, yes, but not a regular plain hamburger.   I just had some fries, which were delicious. 

My butt this morning.  Master was poking and whacking me again, ouch ouch!

 

Saturday, February 14, 2015

Fifty Shades of Earl Grey

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8G0qhswflo

I'm loving all the parody trailers that have been coming out, but this might be my favorite.  

This morning I was in the shower with Master and was still quoting and laughing over this bit of the above clip:


Grey: "I exercise caffeine in all things".
Girl:   "You must have to pee a lot."

Then Master motioned for me to kneel, and after he'd finished watering me copiously and everywhere I quipped:

"You must drink tea a lot".  

I think I'm hilarious.

Friday, February 13, 2015

This week

Posts have been lacking this week, I know.

The week started out bad.  Then it stayed bad. What can I say?   The weekend has to be better, right?  I'm curled up in front of the fire under a blanket with dogs all around me now.    I'm missing my darling old Cinder girl.  She was almost 15.  She had to be put to sleep Monday due to her slowly degenerating health.  It was so hard to know when to make that decision.  I miss her so badly.  You pet owners know how there are just plain dogs and then there are best friends?  Well, Cinder was my baby girl.  She was born into my hands.  I tore the sac off her so she could start her life. By 5 weeks old she had claimed me as hers and I placed the other pups with other people, but knew she was mine.    She was the smartest, most loyal, best dog you could ever want.  

 She was constantly saving my ass when working with the livestock.  I'd do something dumb, and she'd fix it.  One time she saved me from being trampled by a herd of cows.  I didn't have to say anything, she just swept in and started biting them.  

Another time my sheep escaped and got mixed in with my neighbor's sheep.  She and I together shed them apart and brought just ours home.  That is a tricky feat for a dog whose natural instinct is to keep all the sheep in one bunch!  I have so many memories of her, 14 and a half years worth.  They just keep parading through my head, during the day or at night when I'm trying to sleep.

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Clothespins

The other night we settled into bed to watch some movies on the laptop.  It was very comfortable and cozy until Master brought out the clothes pins.  First he stuck several on my lips, like so:

You can see I still have some bit of fuzz going on there.  He ordered me to grow it out some last summer, and he's had a fun time pulling my little short hairs on many occasions.  
That is what they are there for, right?

Sometimes he put two, sometimes three or four pins.  When he put one directly on my clit I shrieked and he took it off.  Eeep!   He didn't just put them on and leave them, oh no.  He played with them, twiddling, flicking, ripping them off  while ordering me to come, and putting them on in new spots.  More twiddling.
 
There was sure no danger of me falling asleep during a movie this time- or paying much attention to the movie!

Monday, February 9, 2015

Good weekend

After a bad day on Friday, the weekend steadily picked up.  Master worked Saturday morning, then we went to the rope demo and that was great fun.  I had no bad mood left by then.  

Brownie fudgie sundaes with caramel helped (Master got me the special lactose free ice cream on his way home; is there any greater love?).  I'd made the brownies Friday, of course.

Also, for a few minutes before the munch he bent me over the bed and fucked me, just enough to get me all excited.  He also strapped me to leave some welts.  Then we went and did ropework at the demo/munch.   

Dinner afterward was a lot of fun, though I feel the food quality at our chosen restaurant is slowly slipping.  Pad Thai was just "eh" not full of flavors.  The good company made up for it though.  Master spent quite a while talking to several young ladies about our upcoming scene(s).  That will be at a party next weekend.  I'm very excited about the whole thing.  I'll be participating somehow, but I won't know the details until it happens.   There was a whole huge deal about what to do and where to go after the party, involving many people, feelings, this and that- you don't want to know... blah blah blah.  I think we are just going to come home, even though it is a long drive late at night.  We can't afford a hotel at this time.

He told me that I was feeling the lack of beatings this week, and it was making me mopey.  

We had an awesome time playing Saturday night.  
He fucked me quickly and came inside me from behind, and then spent a very long time beating my ass with the misery stick and paddle.  I felt bad in the middle of it because it really started to be annoying.  He was in a long sequence of light tapping and I grabbed the cane and said I didn't like it, it was really annoying that he was tapping so light, over and over.  I know that I am doing this slave thing all wrong according to some, since I did something so stupid.  But it was really annoying, and I couldn't take it anymore without saying something. I suppose subspace had something to do with both how terrible it felt and also with me not just suffering in silence.  Inhibitions=gone.

  He told me he appreciated my communication (!!!) after I asked if I was topping from the bottom, and then he really beat the heck out of me whilst saying "Too light is annoying? Hard is much better?" and such things.  I loved it though.  I was so far in subspace that the harder he punched me the better it felt.  The misery stick and paddle hurt like hell, but in a good way too.  

In the morning before we even got out of bed he had me put the butt plug in and fucked the heck out of me.  It was so wonderful. 

We had a very busy day Sunday, with all kinds of work for both of us to do in the morning, then a new friend came over for gaming in the afternoon, and then just Master and I relaxing with Game of Thrones at night.  I was a naughty, cheeky slave when he told me to go downstairs and feed the last dog.  I climbed over him, but then got "stuck" and "Couldn't find my way out of bed" while rubbing myself against him until he was all turned on and ordered me to fuck.  Heh heh.  I'm really not that meek at all.  More super slutty, actually.    But he likes it, so I'm good. 

Sunday, February 8, 2015

Correction

Master did come up to see me Friday night but I was hiding under the covers pretending to be asleep.

Saturday, February 7, 2015

Such A Bad Mood

Yesterday evening I tried to lose my bad mood, lose myself really, in cooking.  I made homemade pizzas with the chicken I had roasted.   I went to the store and bought brownie mix and made those for dessert.  

The pizzas were wonderful, although for something that took me two days to make (I did the crust the day before) they sure went fast.  I take that as a sign of appreciation.   
The younger child was throwing one fit after another about every single thing.  Part of the problem is that he's incredibly empathetic so when I'm in a bad mood everything turns into a huge horrible big deal to him.   Then Master got home and immediately started another big fight with him about the stupid cub scout event that the kid did not want to go today.  The kid eventually won that one (he didn't go) but not until after there was much angriness and tears.  I lost patience with all of it and retreated to hide in bed under the covers.  Yes, spending a Friday night in bed alternating between crying and sleeping, hating myself and everyone else, is my idea of a good time (sarcasm), but it was honestly either that or grump around at everyone.  

Master thought I didn't feel good so he left me alone.  I thought he didn't care to be with me or even come see what was wrong with me so I had a major pout fest going besides the general misery.  I considered running away from home several times, but my feet were freezing already, even with the electric blanket.

See, and you thought it was all sunshine and beatings in slavey-land.  It's not.  I suck sometimes, not in the fun way.

He finally came to bed at 10:30 and made me talk to him.  We talked about all the things, for an hour, and I'm sure he will be exhausted from staying up too late.

Plus he has to work today when he had hoped and planned to have the day off.  

Friday, February 6, 2015

Just A Day

I am extremely "meh" today.  Don't know why.  Normally I skip blogging on days like this.

I cleaned the stove and the oven, started some chicken in the crockpot, swept everything, vacuumed, dusted, cleaned the space under the downstairs bathroom sink out, then the rest of the bathroom, played around on Fetlife some, did my exercise for the day, wished I had some cheese to make cheese toast, instead made cinnamon toast, masturbated, and now I'm here.     I guess I should go do some more work if I don't have anything to say. 

Last night Master used me for his holes of pleasure.  He choked me quite a bit with his hand and my collar.

Tomorrow we are going to a rope demo/munch and I should be excited, but I can only summon up a lot of "meh".

It is like there are a million things worrying at me but all just out of reach of my mind finding out what they are.   Also, Master said he doesn't like it when he goes to stroke my face and I flinch.  This makes me feel terrible in a helpless sort of way.  I like to be slapped, but I can't help it if it makes me flinchy.  Then he further confused me by saying my flinching makes him want to slap me.  I have a sad about this.   Any suggestions?

Thursday, February 5, 2015

Tits and Washing

I moved my washing the sheets day from Wednesday to Thursday. Oh the heady power!!!! Well, I did ask permission first, but still... slave power!


I was going to write a post about the great fun with had with beatings and sexins Tuesday, but I'm suffering from brainblogblock again.  So here's this instead:


Monday, February 2, 2015

The (Totally Fictional) Account of My Acquistion and Taming

Master became interested in me after I threw myself at him.  
Just a bit. 

Ok, I stalked him first, then threw myself at him.  

Look! Boobs! Take me!  

 He approached my parents and asked "How much for the little girl"?

I wasn't THAT little.  I was definitely old enough.  But I am short, and back then I was skinny too.

My parents are like me, more honest than wise, so they said "For this contrary, willful, recalcitrant daughter? If you take her off our hands we will give you a couple of dogs". 

"No deal", said Master.  "What else have you got?"

"A couple of dogs and a flock of sheep?" my mom said hopefully.  

"Can she cook?" he asked.

"No, but she does like to eat", Dad said.

"Ok, fine, I can teach her to cook," Master was finally responding to my sad puppy dog eyes begging him to take me home. 

Once he got me to his estate, I set about housekeeping (aka acquiring more dogs and more sheep) and learning to cook (aka buying lots of Cheerios).  Dishes, though, were completely out of the question.  They make my back ache and they are covered with icky gross foodstuffs.

Until the great dish show down of 2011.  
This is when he broke me.  

Him: You will do the dishes!  (Imagine an old black and white silent movie villain demanding the rent and twirling his mustache.  He looked just like that).  

Me: I won't do the dishes! (Imagine a lovely blond in black and white, a movie star with dimples, clutching her hands in dismay.  That was totally me).

Him:  You will wash them, or I will tie you to the train tracks and blow on your tummy!

Me:   Do your worst! 

Then it becomes too graphic for delicate audiences.  There are screams and wailing and blood flying in all directions.

I emerge a broken woman.  I kiss his feet and beg to be allowed to do the dishes.  

"And you will take it up the ass too"!  he commanded.

"Yes, Master". 

And we lived happily ever after.

 

Football- or some sports thing was going on

I don't actually know anything about football.  

I just know I have to root for the Packers because I live in Wisconsin and it is required.  I think they kick you out of the state otherwise, or at least don't let you have any of the good cheese curds.

  Last night we were rooting for the Seahawks over the Patriots because Master said so.   We didn't actually watch the game though.  
We read our books in bed (I'm reading A Feast of Crows from the GOT series and he's reading a history about Hirohito) and then he got a blowjob. I got a cum-dessert. 
Afterward he asked "Do you feel used, cunt?" and I agreed that I did.  It was a happy feeling.  My cunt is still sore from earlier, which makes me kind of horny all over again. 

Another picture from the ones I took last week:



Sunday, February 1, 2015

Statistic

After I kissed his hand and thanked him, Master set the cane and paddle on the nightstand and walked away from me. Over his shoulder he tossed back:

"And now you have become a statistic. One of the women beaten by their husbands on Super Bowl Sunday".

Then he added:

"And if the Packers don't win, there will be a LOT more of that for you!"





He has the worst jokes.  I'm still laughing.

. You Never Know When They Will Catch Up To You

  I just made what would have been a hilarious joke on social media, if only the one other person who would get it would have been around to...