Saturday, June 29, 2013


This morning I was wandering around the house licking peanut butter off a spoon (don't judge me!) when Master came up behind me, grabbed me by the scruff of my neck and whispered in my ear.

Then he gave a half-laugh and said "The dog just licked your spoon".   

"Such is the life of a slave; dogs eat your peanut butter".  

 I gave the dog the rest of the spoonful, put the spoon in the sink and then followed him upstairs as he requested. 

I knelt in front of him as he got dressed, and when he was all done- blue shirt, khaki pants and colorful frogs tie-  he told me to stand up and drop my robe.  He picked up the hard strap and began flicking it me, missing me by a whisker.  Each time I heard it snap near me my pussy did a little clench.  Then he began to strike hard, and my whole body clenched each time.   Just about half a dozen blows, then the strap was around my neck tight and he was telling me to cum.  

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Yes.

Master of Romance

This wins for the most romantic thing I can imagine this week.

Last night we were over at Myst's house watching Game of Thrones, with S also (of the previous post), and one of the characters on the show quips:

"I have no interest in slaves.  You can't make love to property".

Master tweaks me, and in a slightly incensed tone says, "Sure I can". 


More About Number 5

Because SirQsmlb asked to hear more:

It was getting toward the end of the night.  Much fun had been had, but we weren't tired out yet.   S had expressed interest to me a few weeks before the party in doing a scene in which we get tied together. 
 When she and her Daddy (B.) started packing up gear late at night, Master sent me over to ask them if they were leaving.  Nope, not yet, was the answer, so they came to talk to him.

 B. mentioned that he had brought the bondage tape.  I'd never experienced that, but it was just like duct tape except it only sticks to itself, not to skin.   Master mentioned that part of the fun of duct tape was ripping it off (painfully) afterward.   Well, I was sure he'd find other fun.

There wasn't much more discussion, since we have all played together before, but they placed me on the 6" riser of a small stage since S. is much taller than me.  This time I'd be looking down at her, a new perspective.

A few quick wraps with the tape and we were bound tightly facing each other.  I was naked; she still had bra and panties on.

B. and Master worked us over with dragon tails, hands, paddles and floggers. I was dripping wet from all of it.   Over S.'s shoulder I saw Myst approaching with her single tail, one that had already been used to whip me early in the night as I knelt at Master's feet.  I felt S. shudder as she was whipped, and I moaned with her.  

Then Myst came around to my side, and whip coiled and ready for my turn.  It stung a little, then it stung a little more, rhythmically hitting each side of my hips, my back, my thighs, then it began to hurt in earnest.  I started thinking about getting away, but that was impossible.   Then another 5 on each side, and the sore spot on my hip was hit.  All I could think was bad thoughts at that point, thoughts of not being able to walk the next day, and I waved my hand in surrender.  It was not the safeword of course, the hand waving, but it got attention so that I could call yellow and say my hip was hurting too much.  My hip was safe from more slashes of the whip.   Myst switched to spanking me on the pussy with her hand, at the same time Master was lightly flogging me on the non-painful side.  I came in a drenching shower.

All too soon, it was time that we had to unwrap, dress, and head out.  The ride home was hard.  It was pouring rain.  Master was sleepy, I was sleepier, and it was way past bedtime.  I tried to keep him awake by poking and patting, and he scolded me for annoying him.  

We made it safely, but he still had to take the sitter home and I still had to let out dogs and then feed them.  It was 2:30am.

 I let out one outdoor kennel full of dogs and two of the males immediately launched into a brawl.  The other two joined in.   Taz was attached to Ben's ear.  Hank and Pepper were nipping in to take random bites on whoever they could reach.   Imagine me, tired, alone, in the pouring rain, sliding in wet grass, strung out from a hard night of getting beaten, trying to break up this carnage.   First I grabbed Hank and tossed him back in the kennel.   Then I tried to grab Taz or Ben but couldn't get them; the fight was traveling around the yard.  Finally I got Taz to let go somehow.  I told Ben to lie down, and Taz ran across the yard.  Miraculously Ben did lie down, but before I could grab him he jumped up, ran 40 feet and tore into Taz again.   Fucking dogs.   I was yelling at the top of my lungs.  There was no one to hear me. 

I ran up and yelled in their faces; they broke up again.  I grabbed Ben, but Taz was circling.  If you have ever been in the position, it sucks.   Taz was looking to get back at Ben and only my presence was keeping him from diving in for a bite.  I shrieked at Taz, kicked gravel at him, did everything I could think of to keep him away until I could get Ben in the house.   Once Ben was put away, I put Taz in his crate too.   Then I collapsed on the kitchen floor and in a sobbing mess, occasionally mumbling "Master, help me", but of course he wasn't there. 

Pulling myself together, I went back out and got Hank, let the rest of the dogs out, then fed them all.  I hadn't seen any blood, but it was dark and I was in a state.   It did turn out that Ben's ear was ripped and needed stitches, but I didn't see it until the next day. 

Master got home and we went to bed.  I started crying again, and he pushed apart my legs and fucked me.  It was amazing and comforting to be his hole, to be wrapped up in his arms and taken.  

I could really do with a little less excitement in my life some days. 

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Seven Things That Are Awesome About This Week

1.   Being suspended and treated like a pinata. 

2.   Crying from having subdrop and then, without being asked if I'm ok, or if I feel like doing it, being fucked until I'm not crying anymore.

3.   Master having vacation time coming up soon.

4.   Having an orgasm (or a dozen) after 2 days without any. 

5.  Being tied up to a female friend and being beaten/abused by Master and two other tops.  

6.  Game of Thrones

7.  Being Master's footstool, while naked and on a leash, at the dungeon while he watches Myst light people on fire. 

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Division of Labor

The question of how household tasks are divided up was asked in one of my Fet groups, so I thought I'd address it here.   It is some thing people wonder about whether it is different for a Master and his slave than another couple that lives together.  

Things like making medical appointments and handling the phone calls, repairmen calls,  insurance companies, etc. are ordered and decided by my Master.  He makes the decision on when and what is going to be done, but gives me the tasks of actually doing them.    These sorts of things are often on my daily "to do" list that he gives me.

Taxes and paperwork, and bills - and anything else associated with financial keeping/investments- Master almost always does this himself, although sometimes he will delegate phone calls or trips to the bank to me.  He keeps all our financial records and does the taxes himself.  
I do the grocery shopping, meal planning and deciding what food to buy. 

Master is a vet, so he takes care of the medical care for our animals.  I do any daily treatments that are needed- giving pills, worming, applying tick medicine and heartworm pills, as well as all the grooming, nail trimming, training, letting out, exercising, feeding of dogs, cleaning up poop from outside or other messes they make, fence repair,  taking care of the sheep, hoofing trimming, shearing (when I have some wool sheep) and every thing else the animals need.   Sometimes it takes both of us, like for castrating sheep or pulling porcupine quills from dog noses.  

Master tells me when daily life appointments are needed, such as haircuts, and I make the calls. 

 Generic shopping- clothes and things for the house-  I do most of it.   If it is something a little more expensive, like a new set of sheets or a carpet, I wait until he gives me the approval to buy them.  

An aside:  Yay!  I just got some new pretty sheets today because he told me to get some!

 For home repair shopping sometimes he'll go or he'll just tell me what to buy and send me.

Car maintenance? Getting gas? changing tires or the oil? Renewing the triple A card.  We don't have a Triple A card.   He makes all the car maintenance decisions.  We take them to a shop to have all this done, including oil changes.  
I get gas for my car on my own as needed.  

Cooking dinner, doing dishes,  clearing off the table, sweeping the kitchen floors... digging the quarters out of the couch....

I do all the house keeping, laundry and most of the cooking.  Now and then he'll cook, and he's good at it.  He just prefers that I do it.   

Child care:  This is split pretty evenly when he's home at night.  He reads with the kids, puts them to bed, and tells them to have their baths as much as I do.   He plays video games with them too, which I don't, except for very rarely.   
Shoveling snow, or scraping ice off the car window:   We both shovel snow and scrape ice.  This is job that takes everyone, even the kids, because our driveway is long and Master doesn't want to get a plow or snow blower.  If a big snowstorm leaves us blocked in, Master will approve the calling of a pro to plow for us. 

What about pulling weeds and fixing fences?

I do a lot of this, but we both work in the garden, we both haul wood for the fire, move bales of hay, mow grass, whack the weeds and do fence repairs.   

He does a lot of the repairs and maintenance on the house and outbuildings, such as fixing the barn door, busting up concrete etc.  I help by holding ladders or fetching things for him.  Almost everything that involves going up on a ladder he does- gutters, dusk to dawn lightbulb changing, high painting etc. 

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Flaming Cooter OF DEATH

I mean "Flaming Cooter OF FUN", of course.

Master said that we should do the Flaming Cooter of Death at the play party last night because I still had some stubble from not shaving very well.   The idea took off like wildfire (ha), and since Mystique was all set up for fireplay it was going to happen. 

Honestly, I thought I had done an ok shaving job, maybe not perfect, but I know very well that it does no good to argue.  I think I need better razors.

Flaming Cooter of Death, though????

When I started shaking my head and making "Ack, help, no" noises, he changed it to "Flaming Cooter Of FUN", in order to reassure me.   
Let me ask you, gentle readers, would that reassure YOU in the slightest?  

Myst told me to strip and lie on the table, which was covered with a fire proof welding blanket.   I could see a crowd starting to gather.

Master pushed my legs apart, Mystique placed flash cotton right on the spot.  I bit my finger to keep from yelling.   Or crying.

"Don't get so wet you put out my fire cotton!" Mystique warned.

"Click." went the lighter.  

"Click" again, playing with my mind.

"Click" :  then a flash of bright heat, I shrieked, and it was done.

 Some joker in the audience said "I missed it, can you do it again?"

  Gleeful sadistic chortling followed. 

"Of course I can.  There is still stubble on here".   Smack, smack, smack on my cunt:  felt sooooo good.  My back started to arch.

Master pushed my legs apart again, held them down so I couldn't snap them shut.   I was shaking my head, saying "No, no, no".

More flash cotton was set in place.  I bit down on my finger again.

This time, as Mystique lit the cotton, Master gave me the command to come, and I did, arching and moaning as the heat of the fire hit me.  

Flaming Cooter of Fun, indeed.
Did you know that welding blankets are 'Dry clean only?'

Saturday, June 22, 2013

It's a Great Day To Be Alive

Sometimes blogs need a theme song, so here is the one for today.   

You must listen as you read.  Ok, you don't have to, if you are at work or something, but it is a suggestion. 

Great Day To Be Alive

Really, only the chorus applies, not all that stuff about leaving his family, the schmuck.   Ok, maybe I shouldn't have listened so closely. 

Last night I got a switching with a willow branch, then sent to bed.   I had just settled in under the covers, helplessly turned on, my legs still stinging, but accepting his orders with good grace, when he threw back the blankets and forced my legs apart.   Then he was inside me, giving me just a taste, a couple thrusts, before rolling over and telling me to go to sleep.     I swear he loves to tease and torment me this way.   When morning rolled around I was still rather desperate (part of his plan), he told me to lock the door and proceeded to give me a serious fucking with orgasms! 

Master wanted buttermilk pancakes for breakfast, but since I have gained weight this week I decided not to have any myself.  This is hard, since I love them, but I made it through breakfast without caving.   Sigh.  Then there is still dinner to think about. 

"A journey of a thousand li begins with a single step".

Tonight is the play party, and I'm totally ready for that.  We already have a somewhat unformed plan with a friend who is hoping that she can be tied up with me...  yum yum!   I don't have a costume (there is a Tiki theme) but, ah well, I generally end up naked anyway.   Cue theme song again...

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

...and Cold


Mystique ordered me to my knees in front of Master,  giving me a pillow to kneel, and then kept on with whipping me as I sucked his cock. 

Then hands touching, rubbing, warming me up.  A shock of cold.

Mystique put the ice dildo on my back, rolled it around, teasing me with it, then started the insertion.  I jumped and shrieked, as the coldness of it inside me was intense enough to be painful.   A little rubbing, and then in it went again.  This time it was slightly less of a shock.   The thought went through my head that I was getting fucked by an ice penis.  Cold, and yet hot.  And it felt really thick, thicker than any dildo I have had, stretching me.  

An unexpected orgasm comes in a rush as the freezing thing slid out, with no warning and certainly I had not been given a command to come.  The pillow I knelt on was soaked.   As the cold ice and warm fingers alternated I didn't always know if I was feeling pleasure or pain.

Master said he wanted to feel it.  He told me to climb into his lap and he enjoyed the sensation of coldness enveloping him.   Riding Master's cock, rocking back and forth, swiveling round and round, enjoying watching his face and his pleasure,  the warmth quickly came back to me. 

Then kneeling again in front of him, taking him into my eager mouth, tasting myself, my head was pressed down hard on him, my head bobbed, then held down.  My throat was full, I was gagging, struggling to back off against my own will.  I didn't want to back off, but I can't breathe and my body reacts by struggling.  I think about how I'd really like to not barf.    Pressed down again by Myst behind me, I feel trapped, controlled, powerless, filled and fulfilled.   I feel owned.

Then Master lifted me up and bent me over the arm of the couch, fucked me, as my head burrowed up to her chest.   I came again, as he commanded me.

We went out to lunch after that, my knees still shaking and I was feeling giddy.   I had worn a tank top, so some evidence of the whip was visible.  By then it didn't look like long streaks, more like dots that could be bug bites or something.  I hope that is what people think anyway.

Master waited until we get home, then told me to get a towel and lie face down on the bed.   He entered me and came quickly to his orgasm.  I am thankful for this day.

Post whipping, my back:

Tuesday, June 18, 2013


First the large iron collar placed around my neck was locked.  Myst gave the key to my Master.   Master then fastened (using an Allen wrench) heavy iron manacles to my ankles, and had me try out walking in them.  Now I know why on TV prisoners are shown holding up the chain connecting their legs; those bracelets really dig into ankle bones with each step.  I hobbled about Mystique's house, until I was pushed over the coffee table, which was piled with pillows and draped with a plastic sheet.   I wasn't honestly sure what was going to happen next, but figured with the sheet it had to be messy...

"Are you ready?"

"Yes." I answered.  (Ready for what?)

I felt the hot wax drip on to my back, and burn for just a second before it cooled.  A few more drips, then I was pulled up and sent nude, hobbled, partly waxed, to the bedroom because someone (silly boy) had forgotten his work keys and was coming back for them.   

 (waxus interruptus?)

I waited until he'd gone again, the tootled back out and got into position again.   The wax was pleasantly warm at times to a tiny bit burny so that I jumped and squeaked.   It felt quite delicious on my sore hip, and running down into my ass crack.  Who'd have thought?   Actually, I had been wanted to try wax for a while, but I had not expected it to be such a sensuous experience.   Fingernails tracing across the wax, rubbing me... oooohhhh yes!

More and more wax splattered on to me, and the more that rained down the better it felt.

Then came the scraping.  I was ordered to hold very still and keep my eyes closed while they both scraped metal items over me until most of it was off.  I had a quick shower, and then was once again bent over the coffee table for a whipping.

Mystique's whip zipped out over and over, stinging my back and covering it with red welts.  Master sat on the couch in front of me. He said I was making too much noise and he didn't want to listen to it.  He pulled my head up using my hair and stuffed my panties in.   Ok, ok I can take a hint, no more whimpering.  

He held his hand up, and my eyes went from near closed to fully open and fixated.   He was about to give the signal to orgasm.   Then he shook his head and put his hand down.   Over and over with just a gesture he'd bring me to the edge and then make me back away.  The whip was going the whole time, alternating with some paddles, and this was not helping with the whole "waiting to cum" thing.    It was an intricate three way dance with me in the middle. 

To Be Continued tomorrow.... my brain just gave out on me. 

Monday, June 17, 2013

Mind Fucked All to Heck

Master thoroughly mind fucked me.   He did it so well that it took half of today, in between running errands, doing outdoor chores and cleaning house, to get things straightened out in my head well enough to write anything at all. 

 I'll just say that him giving me the illusion of control while not actually allowing me any real control, and at the same time continuing to hit and berate me, sent me into a very weird, fucked up headspace.   It was sexy.  It was delicious.  I went to sleep totally spent.   Still I'm not sure I'd want to do it again, but...

That Is NOT my call.

What he did drove deeper into my mind that as his slave I have very little power or control here, only what he allows me to have.  I'm his creature, his thing... his fucktoy, as he put it last night...afterward.  

Sunday, June 16, 2013

What to Call This? How about Paddling, Biscuits and Barn Doors?

This morning Master got out of bed, saying to me firmly,

"Don't go anywhere".  

 By the time he got back I had worked myself into a state of squishy excitement about what was coming.   He told me to go get some porn, which I did, and he made me look at it while he paddled my ass.   It was some cheesy magazine that I picked up from his closet, and not exactly my taste in pornMy taste is more for violence.  Hmm, kind of like what was happening to my butt.

He wanted me to tell him which person I would want to be in various group scenarios pictured in the magazine. So I did, in between swats.  

"This one.  OW.  This one. Ohhhh, OW".    It went something like that. 

"You really cum hard when I paddle you" he commented to me.

Oh yes, I sure do, Master.  I'm not sure if I actually replied or if this was in my head.

When he was done fucking me and had come in my mouth (breakfast in bed?), then I went to make an actual breakfast.  

Unfortunately, the flour I thought I bought turned out to have been in my imagination, so I had to run out to the store first.  

Then I made a batch of buttermilk biscuits and Southern style sausage gravy.   It was quite delicious!

The recipe for both can be found here if you are on Fetlife:  

Biscuits and Gravy

About noon Mystique and Sarahnade came over, inspiring Master to start working on the barn door again.  Little did they know they would be recruited to work if they stopped by!!   Thank you ladies, you are wonderful!    All it needs now is a latch and some paint.  

 The barn doors we are working on, with a couple of dogs for scale. 



I don't know the exact date of this anniversary, since I didn't write anything down, but it was two years ago this week when I first went to my husband and asked if I could be his submissive.   I meant just in the bedroom, and just to try out some things like spanking and more bondage (we'd already done some of that) that sounded hot. 

I read The Story of O and was entranced.  I bought a riding crop.  I still can't believe how much thought and effort I put into buying that first one, which eventually he broke on me anyway.  We are now on the third one, the second one having been lost somehow.  

Very quickly I fell down the rabbit hole, and he began enjoying all this power as much as I enjoyed submission.    Within a few months I was his slave and he was my Master.

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Bits and Pieces

Thursday I was messaging with Master and I was telling him about the chores I had completed.  I added at the end "The lawnmower guy came" because we needed our lawnmower fixed.     He wrote back "You naughty slut".   Laughing and little pleasurable tingles ensued on my end.   Later, when he was home,  I told him I had not meant it that way, and then I joked, because he is always teasing me about whoring me out:

"But he did say he'd give us $100 off the repair if...".  

Master got a considering look on his face, like he was actually thinking about that trade.

A little incensed, he said:  "________  (name omitted) got $275 an hour."

My reply: "I'm going to take a lot less than an hour though".

I am a naughty slut, like he says.  

Last night we went over to Mystique's house for dinner and watching Game of Thrones- third season.  I loved the first two seasons, so I was really excited to get caught up on it.   She made dinner for us also, on the grill, and it was all delicious.   I served Master his food, got the kids settled in the bedroom with dinner, the other TV and cartoons, then we cuddled up on the couch for a few episodes.   It was as good as hoped for, although I hope they throw in some more sexy bits.  I like those :).  

  We also got to see the heavy iron collar and ankle manacles with attached chain that her sub made.  He does nice metalwork! What a useful guy, eh?    The ankle manacles fit me too :).  They lock with an Allen wrench.  The collar locks with a key.  I am hoping I get to wear the manacles sometime for longer than just a test fitting.   They are heavy, and I definitely would not be running anywhere with them on, which is hot.  


This morning Master had me lock the door and give him a nice long massage.   

We had a quickie, without beatings.    

Just as I was on the edge of orgasm, Master slapped me directly on the painful hip.  Traitorous, masochist body went instantly to a wild, intense orgasm from the pain.   But afterward there was no intensified pain there, so I'm thinking the bad pain the other night may have been due more to the way I rolled over on it than anything else.     Fingers crossed, anyway, for that.


Just for fun, I took this quiz, which I found on Sir Q and Me's blog: 

 What kind of submissive are you?

I don't put a lot of stock in this stuff, I just like quizzes, but anyway, here is my result:



You scored 53% Humiliation, 50% Submissiveness, 58% Service, and 69% Pain!
You're the Servant, what you seek most is to serve someone, give them the opportunity to live like kings/queens. You'd like to be able to do everything for them, household maintenance, errands and probably serve them sexually, you don't have too much high of a need to feel submissive, you don't need to feel like you're "used", you just enjoy in the pleasure of your Dom.
People like you usually seek long term relationships in which you can fully show the way you serve your Dom, although being allowed to come over to your Dom's house to fix dinner and clean the house would probably put a smile on your face.
Your association with pain or humiliation can be from none to wholesome, you may find it fun, or not, just check out your scores in those :)


If I am a servant type, Master's training has been working well.   I sure didn't start out that way.

Friday, June 14, 2013

Reminding Myself

Since Master is not home at the moment to do it for me, I need to check (as in rein in) myself.   After going back and reading what I wrote in the last blog entry, I can clearly see that I need to stop guilt before it gets out of control. 

To do this, I'm looking to one of my favorite passages of Slavecraft.

Obedience is the structural steel of our slave identity, and the spine of a slave's conviction.  Obedience alone determines what is right and what is wrong.  It frees a slave to be what only a slave can be-  one whose will has been replaced by that of another....

The slave asks himself only "Did I obey?"  If the answer is "yes", then he did everything he could or should do.

I did obey, in everything Master told me to do last night and this morning.  In addition, I obeyed his requirement to keep him informed about anything important I may be thinking or feeling.   Everything else is up to him.  

Worries and pain

A few days ago I started getting twinges in one hip, mainly while walking down stairs.   It felt like a hot needle.  I have no idea why or what I did to it.  I'm always doing stuff, so it could be any number of things.   A nurse said it was most likely a pulled muscle or pinched nerve.   The next day it hurt to walk.  I found that applying pressure would make it better, so I tied a sash tightly around my hips and was able to do everything that way.   The day after that, yesterday, it didn't hurt nearly as bad.  

Last night he wanted to use me, and I was desperate for him as well.
  I drew a big black circle around my sore area so he could hopefully avoid hitting it with the paddle.  This is not the target.  It may look like a target, but really, if you hit there, I'm going to cry and and fall over.  He didn't.

  We had sex.  I felt a few twinges during, just enough to keep me a bit subdued and prevent fully experiencing pleasure.   Finally, he just let me give him a blowjob.  But then afterward I rolled over on the hip and the pain daggers shooting through the hip were bad enough to make me gasp and cry.   He was already asleep, practically before I turned out the lights, but since I was waking him up with my noises, I told him what was wrong.   He went and brought me ibuprofen.   I tied the sash around my hip again, and after a little while it calmed down enough that I could go to sleep.

This morning it feels not too bad, hardly a twinge, but I'm finding myself a little afraid at the idea of having sex again.  It was not a good kind of pain, not a pain that a only-somewhat-of-a-masochist could enjoy.     I don't know if one position would be worse than another, because pain only hit me afterward.  For all I know, it could have been the rolling over on it that did it, but I suspect that was not the case.

Even worse than that, I feel guilty having this fear.   I enjoy my state of constant wanting and desire, and I know he does too.  I love being available and eager to serve however he wants.   This fear makes me feel like I'm failing a tiny bit. 

Thursday, June 13, 2013


I'm going to address a serious topic today:  consent.    It is critical to doing what we do. 

  There has been a controversy going around about a person who has taken far more than was talked about or negotiated in scenes with people he didn't know that well.  And taken it by force, which is rape or assault in my book.   The police were contacted, but did not find enough of a case against him to do anything about it, even with more than one woman reporting similar behavior from the same guy.    Some of the cops (not every police officer involved) had the attitude that if a woman does what we do, she is only a worthless whore and deserves whatever she gets, even if she didn't consent to it.   If the women didn't actually say NO as he went way too far, and did things they did not want or talk about or ask for, because they were petrified or stunned, then I guess the legal system doesn't consider it a crime.   Yes, they probably should have said no, but that stunned response sometimes does happen, and if they say they wanted to speak up but could not, I believe it. 

This is why such a big deal is made of negotiating beforehand is made.  Both people should know exactly what is expected and where the limits are in a scene.  If one says "No penetration", then the other needs to respect that.   I really don't know if this man does it because he can get away with it, or if he thinks it is his right, or if he thought they must want it because they didn't say no.   But no matter what his reason, this is not acceptable.

And in case anyone is wondering "But what about you, and the posts you write about being forcefully used and abused?"  

 The difference is that odd little phrase consensual nonconsent.  In becoming his slave this was part of what we talked about.   In agreeing to be his slave I did give up all my rights to him, and anything he wants to do to be is fair game, because I gave a blanket consent TO HIM.   

Now, if I'm doing a scene or playing with someone else, and I tell them  beforehand "No penetration", or any other limit, then I fucking mean it.   Of course, my Master is always there with me and would be able to enforce those limits he has put on me, limits he has made for me, but many other people do not have that level of protection.    

If Master chooses to have me used by many people that is his right, because he owns me.   It is not the right of every man to do what he wants just because he can.  Honestly I shouldn't even have to say this, but consent is critical.   

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Greedy, greedy.

I looked up at Master with a wide eyed hopeful look and a small grin.   

He gazed down at me with an amused look and said "What you you hoping for, little slut?  Some beating and fucking tonight?"

My grin widened and I said, as innocently as a total fucking slut can, "Yes, Master".  

I had to wait of course, but when it was finally bedtime, after I had spent a half hour or so kneeling beside his chair as he caught up on the computer news, I turned off lights and started up the stairs.   It was really, really dark and I was groping for the light switch, but instead I felt his hand on my back pressing me down.   He was behind me, and in a crawling position I tried to continue up the stairs.   He had a grip on my robe sash, so I didn't get anywhere with that.  I'm really not even sure why I was trying.  He lifted the back of my robe and rubbed against me just enough to make sure I was drenched, then slapped me and told me to go ahead.   

Once in bed, there was sucking, fucking and then more again of each, and plenty of orgasms.  He used my nipples as handles to pull me this way and that until they were aching.  He slapped me all over, from face to thighs, and held my breath off with his hand.  
 Finally, he flipped me over and fucked me from behind. He held my collar tight in his hand and made me cum.

Nothing like going to sleep all soggy and completely spent.

Sunday, June 9, 2013

A Good Screw

So, this afternoon I held up a 250lb barn door with one hand.  It did take some improvised pulleys, a lever system, some inclined planes, some roller bars to move it and get it in place with just the two of us, but we did it!  Master said we'd have all the simple machines covered if we only had a good screw.... LOL.

Sore but Happy

Yesterday Mystique and her submissive, nick. hasufel, came to visit us.  No play happened because the kids were here, but we hung out, chatted and gave him the tour of the farm, including the bottom part of the barn which has many possibilities for play- stalls, ceiling beams, even rings bolted into the walls which used to hold horses for tacking up or grooming.  Many, many possibilities... oh the naughty thoughts start up again.


This morning I have already been fucked twice, as well as tied up and paddled (ostensibly this was because I had my hand between my legs when he came back to bed, but really I think he just wanted to paddle me for fun).   I'm sore and I'm walking funny.   Master (aka Mr. Sex Machine) is going to need my help soon with reattaching the barn door, so I'm going to go get ready now. 

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Another Breathless Moment

His hand closed over my mouth and nose once again.  My hips continued rocking on top of him.  In a few short moments my head grew lighter and the impulse to try to pull away from his hand, to get back to the everyday business of breathing in and out, grew stronger.   Instead I kept my head still, submitting to his will that I not try to breath, enraptured by the growing arousal the lack of breath, or perhaps his control, or both, was thrusting onto me. 

His hand released me as he commanded me to orgasm.  I came,  panting in quick breaths.  One, two, three, then he cut me off.   That's enough for you, my slave, he seemed to say.   Take a deep breath next time, not those shallow ones, was what he actually said. 
  More light headed rocking, feeling him deep inside me.  Tightness in my chest.  Again I felt the urge to try to escape, but just then he released his grip and I took a long slow deep breath.  Just one, then he was covering my mouth and nose again.

My life and every breath belongs to him.

Friday, June 7, 2013

A Moment

After he has made me kneel and caned me, he commands that I lie on my back.   He sets his foot on my cunt and tells me he owns me.  He says he owns all of me, and will do whatever he wants to me.  He tells me he'll never let me go, that I'll never be free.  There is nothing for me to say except "Yes, Master."  He increases the pressure on my pussy until it aches. As he makes me cum I try to struggle away to lessen the intensity of the sensation but there is nowhere to go.  I'm pinned to the floor.  It is an intoxicating moment.  

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Cheap Kink

Two bra inserts:  free, because they were sitting in the back of my drawer.  

Two boxes of furniture tacks:  about $2.80

Result:  Ouchiness.

 Thanks Kaya!  

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

New Submissive

Not for Master, but for Mystique.   She has a new submissive.  She has been talking to him and about him for a long while now, so it was not a surprise at all, but this week it became an officially announced D/s relationship between them.  How this will affect Master and me?  Well, I don't really know right now.  This is entirely uncharted waters yet again for me.   I see it as a positive development.
There is no change right now, and everyone knows about everyone else, it is all very open.  Plus, we like him and we all enjoyed hanging out together on Saturday.    He lives in another town, but close enough to visit regularly. 

Hard Use Day

I knelt on the floor between his legs, sucking his cock as she paddled my ass.   I couldn't really see, but I think there was a leather paddle, and a tawse, and a stick of some kind.  I'm really just guessing here, and I should probably ask Myst to fill in the details for me. (Added: I did ask- there was a purple cane involved). 
  But it all felt amazing.  After a long time they switched, I sucked down her rubber cock and Master beat on my back and ass with the paddles, and that hard strap that hurts so much, and who knows what else.  After another long time they moved me to the side so my ass was raised higher, and did the same again, except this time with the single tail.   
Sucking, and whipping.  It was so hard to concentrate on what I was doing, that soon they were holding me down by the hair and making me go all the way down, deep throating him until I gagged, drooled, my nose dripped, tears leaked out, drooled some more, gagged some more, struggled for breath, finally got to take one and then was held down again, all the way down.  And again. And again.   And then the whip again, my legs seemed to thrash about on their own.  The whip was striking harder than it ever has before, but I still had no desire to stop it.

Then, as I lay bent over the arm of the couch, she fucked me, I still had my mouth on his cock, but now it was even harder (heh) to concentrate.  They switched again, and now Master was fucking me.  It was all so overwhelming.  I was completely over the limit of the pleasures that should be allowed in one lifetime.  Then Master vanished for a minute, came back with lube, and used my ass as well.  It only hurt for a minute.   I was completely unable to walk straight by the time we were done.  I asked permission to get up, and having received it, staggered off to the bathroom.  


Afterward she said "I cut you with my whip.  That was bad." 
 I said in my hazy way "Oh, I don't mind".  
 Her reply:  "Oh, I know YOU don't.  It's bad because now I have to replace the end of the whip.  You should be beaten for that."

I still find this utterly hysterical- sick, sick person that I am.  

Sunday, June 2, 2013

Chainsaw and Fireworks

Or... "You know it's a party when..."

Yesterday was our local munch, but unfortunately the venue was closed.   Our savior, one of the group members, offered his cabin in the woods for everyone to come out and have fun.    We picked up food along the way and headed out there.

I had made some willow switches for the occasion:

 Master couldn't wait to get started beating me.  As we drove he hiked up my dress and slapped my inner thighs to a bright shade of red.

We pulled into the secluded cabin clearing, and by secluded I mean  "No one would ever find the bodies". 

We have been there many times and it is just a fabulous place to do what we do.  

As we were getting settled, Master mentioned that he thought I was wearing too many clothes.  I nodded, but still just sat there.  Sometimes his orders don't sound very order-y.  

"That wasn't a suggestion, that was an order, slave.  Take off your clothes."

Erk.  I pulled my dress off over my head.  No one else was naked, or even close to it, but the others didn't blink an eye.
Master looked pointedly at my bra.  "Ahem." So I quickly removed that as well.  He attached the leash to my collar.  I would be wearing that for the rest of the night.

When everyone had gathered around the campfire, Mystique began the meeting.    The official topic was canes, switches, paddles, and hitting people with things in general.   We were treated to demos, many examples of toys to examine, as well as some fireplay with a few volunteers, and actual fireworks.  All in all, a banging good time.  

Master waited for a lull, then had me stand up and grab the back of my chair.   He began whaling on me with the switches I had made, which were nicely stingy.   None of them broke either (other than the one I crunched while trying to move our chairs around earlier-oops-  it was the longest and the most fragile of them).  

He grabbed me by the collar and held it tight, choking me up, and told me to  "Cum!".   I did, of course.  Oh how I love the choking hold.

Master used the floggers on me, both ours, and one he borrowed which was kangaroo with latex tipped falls.  That one was a little stingy too, and quickly was almost unbearable between my shoulder blades.  I have a sensitive spot there.  

He then beat my ass with the grapevine cane, which is a thick one, and it was good and thuddy feeling after all the stingy things. The wavy paddle came last, and all this was plenty of ouchiness for me on that day, but even though I was slightly relieved when he stopped, I was also still wanting more.  I don't know how those two things coexist in my brain, but they did. 

When he had wrapped it up, one of our friends brought over some nipple clamps with tiny cowbells dangling from them.   With friends like this.... (just kidding).    Master attached them carefully, checking to make sure I could stand it, and when he saw that I could he slapped my breasts around for a few minutes to make them jingle.  Other than the initial strong pinch, it was a good kind of pain.   He made me come again, then removed the clamps.  

Meanwhile, others had paired off and were giving or receiving beatings in various places around the clearing.

We ate dinner in there sometime, with me fixing a sandwich for Master, serving him, and then one for myself.   

Around dusk it began to look like rain so most of us moved inside. But several of the menfolk decided this was the perfect time to take down a dead tree in front of the cabin.  Out came the chainsaw, ladder, ropes and protective gear.   Some of them had to put clothes back on as well. ;)
For a little while it seemed like we were in an episode of Red Green:

Red Green show

But there were no disasters and the tree fell exactly how they planned it.

The rest of the evening was spent lounging around, cuddling, talking and lighting people on fire.   It was very mellow.

Just a little update

I'm still doing the weight watchers program, and am down a total of 6 lbs, 4 of which of course were the first week.   I am fitting into...