Friday, April 29, 2016

Tasks Today

Master left me with some sexy tasks for the day, and you know what?   I got all excited because it is not very often that he does that.  He told me to write him a fantasy story and send it to him, which I did right away as soon as everyone was out of the house.  He also told me to masturbate and come twice for him today.  The first one was easy.  I put in the butt plug, used the Magic Wand and came a few seconds later.  The second orgasm was tougher.  I took a little break, walked around, did a few things.  The butt plug made me feel like I had to poop, not exactly sexy.  

But once I started masturbating again I liked the way it felt.  I pulled it in and out several times, and brought out all my favorite fantasies.  Nothing was working, until finally I imagined Master in my head saying "Come, you slut!!" in his most commanding voice and then I did.  It wasn't as big as the first one, but still, an orgasm is an orgasm.  Tasks accomplished!   Of course, I did the fun ones first and now I have all the ordinary unsexy Friday tasks to do.  

Thursday, April 28, 2016

A Night of Ordinary M/s

Last night we curled up on the couch to watch some more of season one of Game of Thrones.  It can be pretty macabre watching it the second time through.  I was making comments in response to the characters' statements to be even more so.  
"I will love you for as long as I live,"  would get a "Not much longer, then."  And so on.  

And then I fed the dogs while Master got kids to bed.  Then we went to sleep.  

The weather had been cold and rainy a lot this week so I have not gotten as many miles walked as last week.  I went out and counted my own steps to see how close the Fitbit was to my actual steps.  
I counted 500 steps and it gave me 540.  But I did have to rescue a turtle from the road and open and close a gate in there too, so I think the device is very close to reality.  

Sunday:  6272 a terrible day for walking.  Nothing but rain and yuck.

Monday:  10,403 

Tuesday: 12,356

Wednesday: 13,943 

My total miles since April 14:  77.84
Not counting today, averaged 5.4 miles per day.
Weight lost:  Ha, don't make me laugh.

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Rope and Butt Sex.

This morning Master had me rub his feet and shoulders, then we watched a bit of Game of Thrones (not enough tits in this episode!).  

During the show he pinched my sore nipples (still hurting from nipple clamps worn on Sunday, which I never got to writing about) and fondled me all over, keeping me spread open and very slutty-feeling.  Then he ordered me upstairs, to kneel and suck his cock. Master went behind me, pushed me forward on to hands and knees and fucked me doggy style on the floor of our room- this was really tight and intense at first, enough to make me moan loudly.  He used the stingy flogger on my back while I rode him backwards.  It was painful but in a good way.  Then he rolled me over and fucked my ass, which was painful in a painful way.  I cried.  He loved it.  After a while my ass relaxed and I loved it too, which was good because it went on for a lovely long while.  

After our shower together he dressed me up in a rope harness under my clothes and we went out to lunch with a friend. 
It has been a great day.  I'm still wearing the rope.  It is really comfortable.  

Sunday, April 24, 2016

How to Apply Chapstick? I guess you can do it that way.

We were out on a walk a couple days ago and I asked if Master had some chapstick I could borrow.  I never carry it because I tend to leave in my pocket and then wash the pants and ruin clothes.  

He said, "Sure" and I held out my hand.  I share his all the time.  Instead he avoided my hand and began to appy the chapstick himself to my face.  Except he didn't stop with my lips.  He spread it all over my whole mouth area really thickly, until great chunks of it are sticking to me.  I was laughing and very puzzled. 

It kind of reminded me of some of the humiliation scenes I've seen in pictures where make up is applied very thickly and badly on purpose.  But this was just chapstick.  

Put on a Show

Last night Master had me masturbate for him.  I lay on the floor with my legs spread, while he snapped me with his belt.   I had the vibrator doing its thing, and he made me beg to come.  When I finally did beg (because I was getting close) he said no, and then he counted down from 10 before he allowed me to come. 


Wednesday we spent a lot of time in bed, or just lounging.

Result 10,478 steps

Thursday I was ready to kick ass again.  I went for a 2 mile walk/jog in the morning, did work around the yard and garden, then walked almost 3 miles with Master at night.

16,299 steps, a new record since I got the fit bit.

I was really sore that night, and the next morning, so I decided not to try to beat that distance on Friday. 
Friday I grazed the sheep twice and worked in the garden.  Also, walked with Master in the evening.

14,479 steps

Saturday I had a very lazy day, doing some shopping with Master, up until 7:00 when we finally went for our walk.  He was on a mission and was doing his 4 mph pace where I have to jog to keep up for a lot of it, except when he slowed down to give me a break.  We went about 3.5 miles.  I almost died.

15,880 steps

Total miles in the past 10 days: 58.4


Saturday, April 23, 2016

Stern Attitude Toward Slave (hot)

Last night we watched a movie and I noticed Master getting more and more stern throughout the show.  It wasn't the mad kind of stern, but the lustful kind of stern, when I know I'm about to be used and used hard.  He allowed me to fondle him a little, but when I asked to undo his pants and belt he said no. Not yet. 

 Eventually he told me to go get undressed, and come back wearing only my robe.  Then he had me sit next to him with everything spread wide and uncovered so he could fondle me.  His sternness, even more than the fondling, was making me unbearably aroused.  I think he could tell by my looks, but he said that he might just want a blow job while he watched porn, and he might just want to leave me horny.  Wouldn't  I like that?  
I said what I knew he expected, "Whatever you want, Master".  It did sound really hot at the time, but I knew I wouldn't like it later, if that actually happened.  It's so hard to sleep!

After the movie, he did have me suck him while he watched porn for a time.  He got very close to coming, and I was really trying, but he held off so he could take me (such a benevolent Master!).

Before that, though, was the whipping.  He ordered me to get on my hands and knees and he beat me with the dressage whip.  
Then he fucked me quick and hard, and I came (again).  Massively. Several times.   It was a very good Friday night. 

Valuable Lesson

I made scones for dessert last night, and there were two for each person in the family- so eight scones.  I was the only one who didn't eat both of mine last night.

Master told me this morning that was pretty risky, leaving my one scone out where anyone might eat it.   

I said plaintively, "But it's my scone. Surely no one would just take and eat it without asking if I still wanted it, right?"

He gave it a hungry look, even though we had just finished pancakes and bacon, and told me to tell him it was his scone now.

I did. "It's your scone, Master."

Him: "And what valuable lesson did you learn?"

Me:  "All my things, even the scones, are yours if you want them."

Him:  "No, the lesson is that it is just a thing.  You should not get so attached to things." 

I think they are both valuable lessons.

The scone is still sitting there, looking all delicious with its chocolate frosting.

 I'm totally going to eat Master's scone later.  Unless he does.  

Friday, April 22, 2016


Spring is my favorite season.  The nice warm, but not too hot, days before the mosquitoes take over are the best.  I started turning over the garden and weeding the garlic which is growing like crazy, along with bunches of green onions.  The grass is getting tall in places.  We had a few crocuses.  And also this adorable tiny turtle.  After I took a picture of it climbing a pencil I let it go down by the pond. 

I reached a level of activity which had me aching at night (besides the ache that Master left on my butt!) at 16,299 steps.   So today I'm aiming a little lower than that!

Thursday, April 21, 2016

And more sex... my cup runneth over

I can't believe I used to complain about my Master wanting sex ALL the time.  And I mean all the time.  Back when we were in our 20s and even 30s we'd have sex and 20 minutes later he'd be all "Sex now?" and he was masturbating twice a day in addition to whatever sex we had.  I just could not keep up with him.  I turned him down a lot.  Because now that he's over 45 and his drives have started to slow down a little bit, as men do, and mine have sped up a bit, as women's drives sometimes do, it is even more wonderful.  

Now, of course, since I'm his slave he can use me whenever he likes and I don't get to say no.   Yesterday morning, as I wrote in the last blog, and then again last night: "You know what would be really good cuddling?  Your mouth on my cock."     Last night when he was done he also beat me with the dressage whip.  I really love that thing.  And the stingy flogger, which I also love. 

 And then a real quickie this morning before he went to work.

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Forced Clinton-ization

Trigger Warning: Politics

Master got home early this morning and told me I needed to come upstairs and cuddle with him before he fell asleep.  I flopped down on top the comforter still in my robe, and he commanded "Naked. And under the sheets".   Of course, there was no cuddling, he simply pushed my legs apart and began to take me, dry down there as the Sahara.  That wasn't going to do, so he pulled me out of bed and tied ropes around me, and tied a tiny string around my nipples so they stood out well. Then he had me suck him and use the vibrator a little; soon I was wet enough to make better fucking!

Where's the politics?

Oh yeah.  

Back when I was writing about the primary here, I was undecided and he hadn't told me who he was voting for to help me make up my mind.   He could simply order me to vote how he wants, but he doesn't.  

It turned out he voted for Clinton and I voted for Sanders.  Not that I think Clinton is a bad choice, so I would be happy to vote for her in the general election, but I agree with Bernie a bit more closely.  Master says he won't be as effective because congress will never agree with him to pass his reforms. 

Today he began telling an amusing story of forcing Clinton-ization on some Bernie supporters.  He ended up making me be the Bernie supporter and slapping me around until I agreed to vote for Hilary.  Or Trump. Or Cruz. Or anyone he said, but I did rather choke on Cruz.  

Ack. Ptui. 

  It was a really fun, silly time.  So that is how I got the new fetish for forced Clinton-ization.  

Still Walking

Monday steps on the Fitbit:  15,515
Tuesday, it didn't rain after all even though it was chilly.  I went for two walks.  15,712 steps.  

 Master was gone last night. I had a bad day and missed him a lot.
  I leashed myself to the bed, as he's told me to do if he's not there, and then got into my position (head down, kneeling) and did some praying.  No trouble falling asleep, but I feel like I'm barely holding it together.

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Sunday Enjoyments

Master said I need to write more about the sex n stuff!

Yes Master!


Anyway, Sunday he called me upstairs and had me kneel on the floor naked in front of him.  I sucked while he beat my ass with a cane.  Then he pushed me forward and I was on my hands and knees wondering if there was going to be more cane or ???

But he knelt behind me and took me.  It felt amazing.  I love being taken in that position.  Then he got out this little stingy flogger that rarely gets used and whipped my back with it as he fucked me.  It was simply heaven, that could have gone on for a very long time ( I was hoping).  Instead he took me to bed and ordered me to get on my stomach.  He used the wooden paddle on me, and then had me ride on top.  

Monday, April 18, 2016

Fitbit Update

It's going pretty well.  Seems to be motivational so far.  I'm trying to get it a little higher each day.

Steps this week, since I got the little pink bossy one:

12,098  Thursday.  This was pretty close to my normal routine on a Thursday which includes a 2 mile walk.
13,424  Friday.   Worked sheep, and also walked.
13,108  Saturday.  Much time (4 hours) spent driving and then much more sitting.  I was doing some last minute jogging in place right before bed, just to get it up over 13,000.  It gives me almost 200 steps for having sex.
13,816  Sunday.  I went for a long walk to get it up that high.

So far today: 9,042 at 3:30.  Master said I should be ready to walk with him tonight, if the rain holds off.  

The next few days are going to be rainy and cooler and I predict that it will be much hard to get that amount of steps in.  

Too Much Humiliation, Or Something Else

I would hate to write a huge post about how I can't handle a certain type of humiliation scene without crying when it was really just I was sad about something else and then happened to let my brain go into over-drive on humiliation and so I could finally cry.

I was internet-chatting with a friend last night (thanks, love!) trying to get some clarity on an issue I had Saturday night.  I couldn't really understand why I was crying over something that had been ok in previous sessions. 

I have to start back a little ways, maybe.  

My Master likes to spin out humiliating stories for me while we are fucking.  This is really hot to both of us.  Being humiliated, even in story form, turns me on.  There are some things that I have a harder time with than others.  Being placed in competition or being compared with other girls is one of things that often strikes me wrong, but normally I can just deal with those feelings and not actually break down in tears, which is not my Master's goal with the humiliation.  I guess it's not his goal, but sometimes that is the result.  

Saturday he started with a story about him and someone much hotter than me, and I found myself building an internal wall against feeling it.  Building, building.  "That doesn't affect me.  I refuse to feel upset."  Then the story turned to me and he was fucking me and I was winning the competition.  

That is when I broke down.  My walls fell down.  My defenses broken. Open to the hurt.  That is when I cried.  

Once something is set up as a competitive event, there is the possibility of losing, right?  Even if I won this time, next time I might not be so lucky?   Maybe he would not like me as much anymore?  Anyway, that is where my brain went, sensible and true or not.

I prefer to think of it as a cooperative effort.  If Master had two girls, either sequentially or one at a time, how could we work together to make him the most pleased?   However, that does take all the humiliation aspect out of the story, doesn't it? 

I believe I mentioned that Saturday was also the remembrance event for our friend who passed.  I didn't cry then, or before, or after.  

But Saturday night I cried while my Master fucked me. 

I couldn't say for sure whether those two things relate, but I wouldn't be surprised. 




Training has been a topic this week in a couple of different places, so I though I might write down my views on it.

I come from a perspective of dog training.  To me, everything relates to that.  It is my worldview, and it has absolutely nothing to do with denigrating people or treating them like dogs.  The fact is, people are animals, dogs are animals, and while we think and function at a different level than they do, there are still a lot of similarities in learning.  Because there are similarities in ability to learn, there are similarities in trainablity. 

When I am training a sheepdog, I don't just train for three years and then consider them trained, finished and work them with no polishing up.  I continue training them until they retire, which might be another 7-10 years depending on their health.  The training isn't intensive or focused, it is what you might call on the job training.  While they are working I still keep an eye out for any major slips or disobedience, where I might have to make a correction, or even go back and do some foundation work.  And often I find new things to teach them, new challenges just to keep things interesting (for myself- herding sheep is always interesting for them).

But then I have to consider that what I call training may not be the same as what others mean.  In a very broad sense, every interaction you have is training something.  Every piece of feedback you give them is teaching them something, because they never stop learning, even if you think you are done "training".  

And just the same, every interaction Master has with me is training something.  He may not mean to be doing it, and I might not be consciously aware of it, but I am quite sure that it happens all the time whether we do it intentionally or not. The more times a pattern is repeated the more ingrained it becomes.  You may learn nothing from a brief one-off interaction, or if it is heavily emotionally weighted you may come away with a very strong memory, either good or bad.   As soon as he makes it intentional, that is when he can be sure he is reinforcing the things he wants to see more of, and not the things he doesn't like. 

Before doing any training, you have to determine what actually is rewarding or reinforcing.  It isn't up the trainer to tell the trainee what the reinforcement will be, it really just isn't.  It is up to the trainer to see what the trainee likes and use that.  

For many slaves, merely being appreciated is a huge reward.  Something external, like a present or food, may not be as rewarding as a Master thinks because it may come with emotional "bad stuff" for some slaves (ie. I shouldn't need that. Or conversely, what does he think I am, a trick pony?).  But a smile and a "good girl" is a simple thing that is just appreciation, valuing service, and can be a great reward.  Again, not for all.  Some prefer not to be noticed in their service, and see the lack of correction as a reward. Every slave is going to have different likes and dislikes.   Some prefer a slap on the ass.

Also, bribery is not the same thing as reinforcement.  Most of the time bribery will fail in the long run, though it works fine in the short term limited situation.  Hold out hope for getting some goodie "If you do xyz" and you will undermine whatever the dynamic is.   It also doesn't work well for children or dogs because as soon as the goodie is obtained, they go right back to doing whatever they wanted to do.  If you have ever had a dog that would only obey if you were holding food, this is the bribery dynamic in play.   I do train dogs with food, but I make sure I sometimes don't give them a treat when I have food in hand, and sometimes do give them a treat when I don't have food in hand (run to the fridge to get some- it is as simple as that).   

That brings up the point that research and practice have proved that variable reinforcement is the strongest in making permanent changes, much better than consistent reinforcement.  

So if Master smiles and says thank you every single time I bring his tea, it is not as effective as if he smiles and says thank you 75% of the time, or 50 %, or 25 %.  It's also not as effective to always use the same reward.  Sometimes he smiles, sometime he slaps my ass, sometimes he does nothing.  It is all training/reinforcing me, whether or not he's actually planned it out in his mind.   
Shaping is reinforcing only the best or closest efforts, and ignoring the less-perfect responses.  It is an extraordinarily powerful tool when used correctly, but it also requires incredible focus and discipline for the trainer that most people just cannot do except for short periods.   

Another example:  using the word "Master".   Sometimes it is a difficult habit to get into, and there can be mental blocks where it just doesn't feel right to a new slave to always say "Master".   But if he reinforces that behavior over time, it will grow stronger.  The slave says "Yes, Master" and he nods at her.  That little nod is an acknowledgement that she did the right thing.

  If you add in a reminder/punishment for failure to say it, it can very quickly be made a habit.  In this case, punishment does not mean "You didn't say 'Master', now I will beat you".  It can be something as simple as a significant look, clearing of his throat, or if that doesn't work "What do you call me?"  

Another tricky thing is that for some slaves ANY show of dominance is a reinforcement.  It fails as a punishment if it is actually a reinforcement, right?  A slap on the ass, hair pulling, face slapping, choking, a verbal reminder of her place... these are things some Masters try to use as punishment, but if they actually make the slave feel good inside "Yes! I am slave!" then they are working against his training program, doing the opposite of his intention.   

So, to make this work, he really needs to be inside her head and really SEE what are likes and what are dislikes, not just go off of his own feelings of what "should be."  

Anyway, this is the long version of why I feel that training never stops.  It permeates everything we do, and can be use to strengthen the dynamic or to make it break down over time.

Saturday, April 16, 2016


Trivia, a huge event here, started last night.  It is a 24 hour a day trivia contest that lasts Friday to Sunday.   Teams all over the world (something like 10,000 people) compete, and it is mostly a very big and silly party.  Mystique has a regular team every year, so I took the kids and went over to her house.   We ate too much, and looked up questions, and generally goofed around until late at night.   Master didn't feel good so he stayed home. 

My final step count yesterday was 13,424.  I think that will be hard to surpass today.  

Friday, April 15, 2016

More Fit, and Sadness, and Bread

Yesterday I was thinking that the goal of 10,000 steps that comes with the fit bit program was pretty good.  But since I was over 12,000 without really changing up what I normally do in a day (Thursday being one of my two required exercise days), I am now thinking 10,000 was under ambitious.

I'm thinking of making it a goal to do more steps than the day before until I feel like I have reached a good plateau level.  I think of a plateau level as one where I am stretching myself to be good and tired, but not working so hard that I hurt myself.

We'll see if I can do more than 12,098 today.  
It's one o'clock now and I'm at 9,743.  
It takes about 600 steps to scoop the dog poop in the yard, which is something I do every day. 

Also, Trivia starts tonight, and tomorrow we are going to a funeral  
Our friend died the week after we went to visit, and now his funeral is tomorrow. And I don't want to say anything else because I am sad. And I still haven't quite grasped the idea.
So I'm making some Challah bread, hopefully enough to take along to one or both of those.  Master will decide what we are doing exactly.  

Thursday, April 14, 2016


I was given a Fitbit yesterday, and I got it working this morning and have been tracking my steps since 10 am (after I fed the sheep and did a few other things).  I'm a little bit excited about it (just a little).  
I went for a two mile walk, and just did my normal daily routines.  I'm at 11,447 steps currently. 

My goal is 10,000 steps a day.  Master hasn't set any demands on me for the device, this is my own goal.

If Traditional Relationships Were Treated Like Alternative Ones

I thought this was an amusing perspective:

It all depends what you are used to, right? 

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Slutty Whore

A dirty, slutty whore. That is how I felt as I knelt over Master's foot.  He'd ordered me to get on my knees facing away from him.  He was seated at the computer.  He had the cutting board in hand and had already been beating my ass with it.  I had been sucking his cock before.  Now he ordered me to grind against his foot.    I knelt on all fours, feeling like an animal in heat, only dirtier.  Because animals don't feel shame for their natural behaviors like people do. 

 The shame and humiliation, the degradation of having to behave as a complete slut for my Master's (and my) pleasure is a huge part of the spice.   The thought occurs to me "What if people could see me now?  How shocked and revolted would they be at my position?"  And that thought just makes me grind against Master's foot all the harder.

He had also made me lie on my back and spread my legs so he could kick me, and rub me painfully hard with his foot.  I had the butt plug in, and he kicked at that too, not so hard.  Everything down there was getting sore, but that didn't matter to me.

Sometimes he would have me stand and he'd fuck me briefly, then back down to my knees for more pleasuring him. 

Hours later, we collapsed in bed together.  My whole body was shaking and exhausted.  I love being his slut.

Monday, April 11, 2016

A Little Bit More Naughty Fun

We FINALLY had some good weather again and Master and I went on a big hike in the woods, stopping for some bent-over-a-rock spanking and fucking.  I got very up close and friendly with a lot of bright green, earthy scented moss.  He used his hand to spank and then punch me just a little bit, then he slid his fingers between my legs to tease me into opening up for him before sliding his cock in.  

A few minutes of that, then he ordered me to get on my knees and suck him.  A minute later he said time to get on, so I hiked up my jeans and we continued making our way through the woods.  He'd brought his compass, but we really didn't need it beyond curiosity.   We found a raspberry cane thicket, and marched right through the center of it.  I was very glad of my impervious Carhartt jacket and old jeans then!

Later on, back on an actual trail, he told me to tie the dog to a tree so she didn't wander off.  The first time, on the rock, I had just dropped the leash.  She didn't go far, but he kept having to call her back in the middle of things.  I couldn't really see where she was, what with my face pressed up against the rock. 

After she was tied to a tree that wouldn't break (the first branch I found fell off), he ordered me to get mostly naked and lie on the ground.  He loomed over me.  He grabbed my panties from where they were lying beside me, stuffed them in my mouth and fucked me hard.  

I'm not looking forward to mosquito season; this is pretty nice right now.  Although ticks are out.  

Song of the Day:

Sunday, April 10, 2016

A Little Naughty Fun

Yesterday, walking around the grocery store wearing jeans, and feeling them rub on my sore pussy, trying not to smile or wince.  I was kind of wishing I'd worn a skirt, but also kind of enjoying the feeling.

That's just a little extra lingering fun Master had given me.

Busy Day Yesterday

Ooof, we just got done with the kid's birthday party and I need to unwind a bit.  So many rowdy children!  I'm not cut out for that kind of chaos.  After that we had our D & D game here, so it was a busy day of being social.  The D & D was really fun.  The party, well, the kids had fun and I survived. 

Saturday, April 9, 2016

Burning Bush

You know Master likes to play with his lighter with me, right?

He has given me a couple little "brands" with the metal tip, and I still have a little burn mark from two weeks ago.   He has also singed off the tips of my pubic hair a few times.  Well, last night I got the whole burning bush going on and was half deforested.  This was not intentional.  But it was scary.  

I was kneeling in my spot, head on the floor, when he came into our room and told me to get naked.  I sat up after shedding my robe, waiting to see what he would ask of me.  He said he didn't want me to move, and pushed my head back to the floor.

I heard the click of the lighter a few times behind me and between my legs. I felt the heat of the flame on my thighs.  And then "WUF" I heard the sound as the hair went up in what I can only assume was a massive fireball.  I shrieked and fell forward, snapping my legs shut which effectively put out the fire.  I sat there shaking and sobbing more with fright than anything else.  The feeling was no worse than a sunburn.  He held me and made me breathe normally again, then Master told me to lie down in the light where he could see, and wiped away the crunchy burned hair. 

Then he got the lighter again.  I was terrified.   I only could lie there and wait with my legs open.   He clicked it a few more times and said something about having to get back on that horse after a fall.   And that my cunt hairs were his to burn off again if he wanted.  I agreed with him, "Yes, Master, of course, Master," still crying a bit.  

He put the lighter down and asked if I still wanted a beating and fucking.  Of course I did.  I was thinking that any remaining burning sensation would make the fucking especially good (what the hell is wrong with me?).    He had me lie on my stomach and he beat me with the grapevine stick (heavy) and the misery stick (stingy) and an in between cane.  Then he flogged me, which was the most painful of all. Somehow when it was right between the shoulder blades it got really fast and stingy and I started whimpering again.  

He sent me to the bed then and fucked me, and the lingering burny sensation WAS good.  More fear than anything else wrong.  But hell, that was scary!

Thursday, April 7, 2016

How Did He Know?

Sometimes Masters like to give the impression that they can read minds.  Or at least mine does.

Last night he got home, ate, and went back to work.  He was at work all night on emergency, and only got a few hours sleep on their smelly old cot.  (Ew).

When he got home in the morning I was all ready to serve either breakfast or just provide a warm body in bed while he fell asleep, but when I asked what he wanted he said "Fucking". 

I washed up quickly and met him upstairs.  He ripped off my robe and ordered me into bed to use me quickly.   I was wide awake, but I had to keep reminding myself that he was exhausted.  I went back downstairs and did all my morning routines.  Then watched some TV. I desperately wanted to masturbate but it wasn't allowed.  
So I waited.   Just so you know, it is totally possible to have sex, and even orgasm, and still be crazy-horny the whole day.  Just in case you didn't think that happened, it does to some of us. 

When he woke up I made him breakfast and then finished the show I'd been watching.  I came in to see if he wanted anything else, thinking about asking him if I could use my magic wand, and he told me to rub his shoulder.  I stood behind him, rubbing, thinking the whole time "When he's had enough of this, I'm going to ask, I really am".  And just about that time he told me to go get my vibrator.  That's when I figured he was reading my mind.  

He had me strip and lie on the floor at his feet with the toy on.  He stuck his toes in my cunt.   He called me a filthy, dirty whore, and other names.  I humped his foot, squirmed and felt like a filthy dirty whore there on the floor, having orgasms as he commanded, leaving puddles all over.   He alternated this treatment with letting me suck his cock, or paddling me, or fucking me, until he finally stood over me and masturbated onto me.  Then smeared it around my face just to make sure.  I felt so nasty and slutty.  It was a good feeling.

Tuesday, April 5, 2016

TMI Tuesday

Link to TMI Tuesday blog:

1. Spring time we start to show more skin. Do you shave (e.g., legs, chest, pubic area, back) more in the spring than you did in the winter?

No, I shave every day all year round, with the exception, for now, of my pubes because Master won't allow it. 
2. Do you or would you have sex with the windows open in the spring?

Yes... or outdoors, sure thing!
3. Does your body confidence improve as the weather gets warmer and you body is less covered?

No, not at all.  Instead I start thinking about all that food I shouldn't have eaten.  

4. Does warmer weather turn you on?
a. Yes, I see more skin and get turned on.
b. No, I like winter– I like to make body heat.
c. Well, I get frisky come spring and flirt more but don’t get more sex.
d. No! I am very self-conscious about showing more of me; warmer weather and skimpy clothes bring out my insecurities.

I am practically always turned on, so probably none of the above.  But I'm looking forward to some nude sun bathing when the weather is a little nicer (it is 34 degrees here today!).  Having those warm breezes blow across me is pretty arousing.

5. Love, romance, and sex. For you, which of these gets better in spring?

None of the above.  Being outdoors gets better.   Sex outdoors, love outdoors.  Romance? I don't know, maybe that too.  We can go for walks together again, that's romantic.
Bonus: Thinking of a current relationship that is important to you, what “Spring cleaning” needs to be done? Meaning– Assess what serves you–what to you want to keep, what do you want to throw away?

I need to clean out the computer room and throw some stuff away.  I don't have relationship spring cleaning. 

Voting Primary Day, also, ouchie time

Today is the day we get to vote in the primary.  I still don't know who it will be, Bernie or Hilary, but I'm definitely a Democrat.  I asked Master if he wouldn't like to tell me who to vote for and he said no, I can make my own decision.   He hasn't even told me who he is voting for.  

Last night we had a quick but painfully harsh and excellently satisfying fuck.  He tied my hands together with the bondage strap I've been wearing, then ran the leash through that and clipped it to my day collar.  I hadn't changed to the night collar yet.  

 He paused mid-fuck to ask me what the worst thing I could think of for him to do right now was.

My eyes flew open in consternation.  Worst? Right now?  My mind was blank.  Then he started counting down- 10, 9, 8... I had to say something!

"The worst thing would be for you to stop fucking me now".  He got an odd look on his face and pulled out of my cunt.  (Oh no!)  

Then he said, "I'm stopping, but only for a second, to get these. This is the worst thing I can think of right now," as he got the nipple clamps out of the bedside drawer.  

He put them around in various places- nipples, sides of tits, cunt lips, my ear... and just about the time I'd relax into dealing with the pain he'd pull on the chain.  This blank whiteness would wash through my brain at those times.  Then I'd get relief after the quick parting stab as he removed them.

"Stick out your tongue."  I obeyed, feeling a bit silly and a bit scared. 

He put the clamp on my tongue but didn't let it close all the way, just a little pressure, then he told me to come.  He took it away and put it on the hood over my clit.  

He did some extremely painful pressure points on me.  I thrashed and bucked, whimpered and came and came. 

I love you, Master!


Sunday, April 3, 2016

Another Pee Post

 Master called me upstairs not too long after I wrote the previous blog entry.  He had that look in his eyes.  Once upstairs, I dropped my robe.  He picked up a belt.  I turned away from him and gripped on my dresser, not needing any commands.  He whipped me with it a dozen times or more, then told me to kneel.  I knelt in front of him and sucked him while he beat my ass with the misery stick.  It hurt so much it was hard to keep up my concentration, but he reminded me with both his words and his hand on the back of my head not to stop.
Then he fucked me, told me hot and humiliating fantasies, and made me come many times.  When he was done, it was shower time.  

 I stepped into the shower.  My side of the tub, away from the water, was chilly as usual.  He told me to kneel quickly.  I looked up into his face gratefully.  It had been a few weeks at least since I receieved this sort of "benediction".   His stream hit me in the chest, and various feelings surged through me.  There was the humiliation of being his piss post, the very strong smell making me crinkle my nose. The gratitude of being shown this very degrading treatment, being his, being used.  An immense gratitude for that. The warmth of the piss and some small gratitude for it heating me up slightly.  Then he aimed at my sensitive nipples and eroticism surged through me. I must have demonstrated this feeling, as at that moment he commanded me to come.  

He pissed for a long time (really saved up!) and then he sprayed me with the shower sprayer, including right in the face so I spluttered.  On my ass, the stinging welts from the misery stick were renewed by the hot water.

Then his command, "Wash me up, woman".  And I did.  I really love that, even thought I was soon cold again.  It is my place, washing him, being cold if he wishes it, being a pissing post if he wishes it.  It's a good place to be.

A Friend is Dying

We were finally able to visit him last night.  It has been less than a year since he was a typically healthy 40-something year old man supporting a large family.  A cancer diagnosis changed all that.  They have done all the treatments and they aren't working.  He's accepted that his time is limited.   His family threw him a poker party last night, one of many game nights they host every year.  We were finally able to go, and my emotions are all over the place. The guilt of not having been able to go see him before this that was weighing on me - at least that is gone.  We don't see them more than once a year normally because they don't live near us, but still, I wanted to do more, to help somehow. I have have felt completely unable to do so.  I was afraid I wouldn't be able to get there in time. 

The game night was just like any other game night- plenty of food and laughs and cheer.  But.  The tightness of his wife's face and voice betrayed everything.  People can be so strong when they have to be.   I'm sometimes in awe of humanity.  

The same day, we also went to another friend's daughter's Bat Mitzvah.  It was a very lovely and moving ceremony.  I'm sure they are super proud of her.  

It was a whole day of seeing old friends.  These are all people we have known for decades. We met them back when almost none of us had kids, and parties could last until 10 the next morning, and our dogs were our babies and our lives revolved around them.  Then most of them were raising (human) babies and there were many parties that were dominated by toddlers and going home early for bed times, and now some of those babies are now out on their own, as grown up people.  

We moved away from the area, but we still try to go back and see everyone once a year or more.  Or they come visit us at Thanksgiving.   Most are vanilla, but some of them are in our kink community circle as well.   

Friday, April 1, 2016

I Sogged My Vibrator

... and two blankets, and the waterproof pad, and the sheets below that, and Master, and pretty much everything in reach...

It was a fun night.  A little bit of butt punching and tit torture and a LOT of orgasms.  

Just a little update

I'm still doing the weight watchers program, and am down a total of 6 lbs, 4 of which of course were the first week.   I am fitting into...