Sunday, June 17, 2018

Stormy Night

It was a dark and stormy night, and all the slaves (well, one slave, anyway) were gathered around the bedside.  
Master said "Slave, suck my cock" and so the slave, she began.  

After his cock, a ball gag was stuffed into my mouth, and my hands were tied to the bed railing over my head.   He nudged my legs apart with his knee and entered me.  It was hard going at first, but soon I began to get wet enough.  He decided I needed more spanking, and he rolled me over and beat my ass with the cane.  He turned me back over and began to lick and finger my cunt.  I still was on the verge of being too dry so that his fingers were hurting.  He added some lube and proceeded to fuck me and make me orgasm.  Afterward we curled up under the covers and listened to the continuing thunder. 

That was Friday night.

Saturday morning we again enjoyed a bed-romp.   This time he had me wear a butt plug and he told me long and detailed fantasies of all the horrible things he was planning to do to me.  

Then it was Pokemon Community Day, which was fun but tiring.  We spent about 5 hours doing raids and catching the special Pokemon, walking around outside in the heat for most of it.  The special Pokemon we were hunting was shiny Larvitar, which was one out of maybe a hundred or two hundred Larvitars caught.  
At one point we were resting in a building to get out of the heat, and my Master gave me his phone so he could run to the restroom. My phone gps cut out, so I stepped outside to get it back connecting, and then I was standing there catching Larvitars on both phones when I ran into some friends and went to talk to them a bit farther from the door. Master came out and gave me the raised eyebrow for wandering off without him. I showed him his phone, where I had just clicked a Larvitar which was shiny for him to catch, and he forgave me :).

We came home to have a kid birthday party, with sleepover.  And pizza and cheesecake.  

Haha, diet, what diet?


Friday, June 15, 2018

Earliest Inclinations

There was a time before I knew what I wanted to be, before I knew I wanted to be a slave, before I knew I was a masochist or a submissive.  

If I think back, things I didn't realize consciously for many years  may have had some roots in my mind even as far back as 5th grade.  I would have been 11.  Our classroom had a bookshelf with all sorts of novels, and every day after lunch there was a read aloud where the teacher, Mr. Duncan (one of the best teachers ever) read to us as we sat around the floor on pillows.  After he read a chapter we got the rest of the hour of quiet reading time.  Try doing that today in the action packed classrooms- ha!  Back then it was unusual but not impossible.  We could pick any book we wanted and read quietly, and it was the best thing ever.  I was an avid reader (still am).   

After I went through all the horse and dog books he had (not many) I found a book that I was always sort of embarrassed to enjoy.  It was called "Slave Boy" and it was about a Roman slave boy who goes through hardships and finally escapes.  I was fascinated by it, mostly by the hardships.  Not so much by the escaping part.    There was no sex in it, of course, since it was meant for 5th graders, but it was fascinating for other reasons that I couldn't name.   Now I can, though, because it was about power and servitude, about subjugation and slavery.  I think that topic has interested me for a very long time.   There were other books I read repeatedly about the same sort of thing, but that was the first one.

FFF 20

6/8  some gardening?  The bugs were out and drove me back to the house before I was really done.  Biting gnats, mosquitoes, ugh!

6/9 at least an hour of walking

6/10  half hour of walking

6/11  half hour walk, then another half hour walk later while my car was getting fixed.

6/12   40 minute walk, or thereabouts

6/13   30 minute walk, then a 25 minute walk later, all doing Pokemon Go.

6/14   30 minutes of gardening, 20 minute walk

Trying to eat somewhat healthy, mostly, but not writing anything down.   

I did not weigh myself last week, but I gained 1 pound since two weeks ago. 

Thursday, June 14, 2018

I don't want to be

I don't want to be your role model, inspiration, or anything else. And yet people tell me that all the time. I don't know why.

 I have experienced this more out in the in-person kink community than online, that people tell me and my Master that we are one of those things to them. And never in the non-kink world. 

 I don't know why. 

 None of my vanilla friends says that we are awe-inspiring just because we have been together a long time. Most of them have been too, if they are our age. None of our relatives say we are a role model or amazing just because we are together and happy. Many of the older relatives have been married 50 years or more. They aren't inspiring anyone or role models for life either. They are just living their lives as best they can. 

People say they would like to know the secret. Sometimes they say it is communication and being open about feelings. My parents literally disprove this as my dad doesn't even recognize he has feelings much less share them with anyone. They have been married over 50 years. My mom said it took her 20 years to realize that he didn't like it when she said good bye with a "Drive safe" or "Be careful", because he never told her it bothered him. He'd rather she said "Have a good time", or something that didn't cast doubt on his ability to keep out of danger. He wasn't even in touch with his feelings enough to be able to say why it bothered him. She figured it out without his input, and then he simply said "Yeah."

 You know those old Swedish-American men from Prairie Home Companion, the radio show? That's my dad. Yes, I have inherited a little bit of that, which I have been trying to work my way out of for the past 7 years. 

The secret to stay married or staying together? Don't get divorced or break up.

Kink of The Week: When Roleplay Goes Wrong

Normally, we have fun with role play.  It's like a game, pure play.  It is often silly and hot at the same time, like Evil Pirate and the Captured Wench, that sort of thing.

Last night, because of reasons I will explain, it went all wrong.

Master was trying to find some important paperwork, and was getting upset that it didn't seem to be anywhere.  We both looked and looked, and I couldn't remember ever having seen the thing he was looking for.  Eventually he searched the trash and there it was.  I must have thrown it away but I don't remember doing that at all.  I had written on the envelope, and I remembered doing that.  But I didn't remember tossing it out.   It was just one of those silly mistakes that sometimes happens, I guess.  But he seemed really irate over it.  Anyway, he told me he forgave me and I said I was sorry.  He said he was going to beat my ass anyway, but not as punishment, just for fun, because he wanted to fuck.  Beating is often part of fucking.  So I was excited, but also nervous.

I was kneeling naked in the bedroom when he came up, as I do.  He walked around behind me without saying anything and picked up something from the cane stand.  He began talking very sternly to me about not making his life harder and I realized he hadn't forgiven me at all, when he said he had.  Why? Why? I felt horrible and began to cry before he'd even given me three strokes with the cane.  He stopped and made me sit up and look at him.   He didn't want me to cry? I was so confused.  He put me over his lap and spanked me hard with the machete.  I apologized again.  He said I was forgiven, but I just wasn't sure what to think.  I was just massively confused about the whole thing.  He fucked me and physically I was eager, but mentally and emotionally, I was still wallowing in doubts and pain.  I felt cut off from my body.  I also felt bad for feeling bad.   

Later he told me that he'd just been role playing a punishment scene.   I didn't understand.   I have never liked role playing a punishment scene anyway.  It should be for fun, or for real punishment, anything in between is just... hard to deal with mentally, hard to categorize. Confusing. 


Tuesday, June 12, 2018

Wrong Answer? Nah, Right Answer!

About 5 minutes from when Master had to leave for work he took me by the back of the neck and guided me upstairs.

He locked the bedroom door. 

I went and flopped down on the bed and he fondled me a little bit.  Then he stood up and said he had to go.  He could see me giving significant but furtive looks at his pants. 

He admonished "If you suck it I'm going to stick it in you and then I'll be late for work." 

I answered quickly "Ok".  This was the wrong answer, I immediately thought to myself.

But Master encouraged me to get on my knees and unzip his pants.  He was hard.  I sucked.  Then he pushed me forward to my hands and knees and kicked my feet apart.  He took me and came quickly. 

Monday, June 11, 2018

TMI Tuesday. Summer time is ice cream time.

1. If you were an ice-cream flavor, what would you be and why?

I would be mint chocolate chip because my Master likes that flavor.  I have all these little minty bits in me, not smooth or plain.

2. What are the best sexy skills you bring to a sexual relationship?

Being nearly always ready for anything.  Plus, blowjobs.

3. What is the single largest problem causing you angst in your romantic relationship (current or most recent relationship)?

Right now? I just want Master to be happy.  Sometimes his work makes him unhappy. 

4. What is the best part about being in a relationship with you?


5. What is the biggest misconception that people have about you?

That I'm nice, sweet or innocent.  I merely like to play at that, really I'm slutty, dirty and can hold a grudge forever.  I don't have many grudges, though, you have to do something really bad to me to get on my bad side. 

Bonus:  When you look at old photos of yourself, do you like what you see?

Yeah, I realize that I was actually pretty cute.

Stormy Night

It was a dark and stormy night, and all the slaves (well, one slave, anyway) were gathered around the bedside.   Master said "Slave, s...