Friday, August 29, 2014

Health Issue

For anyone who has been wondering how my stomach ache issue resolved, it hasn't.  I haven't been writing about it (because boring!) but I've been in to the doctor many more times for tests and they haven't found much.  I'm taking iron for the anemia since they didn't find a cause for that either (I suspect heavy periods/blood loss from that, but what do I know).  I feel a lot better now that my iron is up, but I can't eat much without suffering.  So NO dairy, NO meat except turkey or chicken, NO butter, NO fat except a tiny bit of olive oil to cook vegetables.  As long as stick to that I do pretty well, but I really miss bacon, and pie, and sausage... and the list goes on. 

 Today I'm drinking barium for breakfast (bleah) and then having a CT scan.  This sounds like the last step before they do surgery to remove my gall bladder, which is actually functioning, but on the "low-normal" side.  

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Really, really fucking horny

Well, not today, not anymore.  But yesterday I was getting pretty desperate.  I mean, days (DAYS!) had passed with no sex (I know, I know, I'm incredibly greedy).   For two nights he'd given me a short and not very hard "good girl" caning as a reward for doing all my tasks.  The canings left me turned on, but not at all fucked, you know?

Last night I silently asked for it, with the begging eyes, and he said possibly, yes, but he looked tired and out of sorts to me.   Then when he yelled at me about standing in his way I figured it was all over.  I immediately went upstairs and got into a kneeling position on the floor, trying to breath and meditate and remain open to possibilities, and to eliminate expectations.  Reminding myself of my little mantra that I am here for his desires, not the other way around. 

He came in, and told me to get into bed.  He can read my every expression.  He told me exactly what I was thinking.  You know those mind reading Masters that are supposed to be fantasy?  Yeah, like that.

He threw the covers back and asked in his hard voice "So, how have you disappointed me today. slave?"  I nearly cried at the words and tone, but instead held myself together, and said that I'd stood in his way when he was trying to turn off the game.   It's sometimes a little scary, the power he has over me to make me feel. 

 He asked how I'd been especially pleasing that day. All the stuff I had done with care and love that day had become irrelevant in the second before (washed the sheets, made the beds, big f'ing deal).

 I said I didn't know.  I didn't feel I was one bit pleasing at that moment.  He told me the things he liked: I made a delicious dinner (steak, succotash, corn on the cob, salad), and I sorted out some health insurance dealie, and he absolved me for being in his way that one time.   He made some funny little comment then, which I can't remember now, and I laughed.  The absolution freed my mind from being weighed down.

Then he said I was getting a beating for fun, not punishment, and proceeded to punch me in the ass a few times.   He told me to get a towel and something short to play with.  I dug the small curved paddle out of the toy bag and brought it to him, tingling with excitement.  

He tied my wrists to the head board with a leather strap, then began a game of "Name that TV show theme song" with the rhythms of the paddle.  For some of them he sang along too.  I missed some easy ones (The Simpsons) but got more right than I expected.  Either way, win or lose, the prize was a hard blow with the paddle.  I was barely able to think by the end of it.  He alternated using the paddle with the short cane some.  Then he flipped me over and fucked me long and hard with my arms still tied above my head.   

This morning I'm as content as can be.  I got up before him so I could make breakfast (Mediterranean style burrito with sausage, feta, and Greek olives) and he could get extra minutes of sleep.

I have a new job in the mornings also: gate opening.   We have a gate across the driveway to keep the dogs in, and he's been having me walk down, open it, then give him a flash of bits and a kiss before he drives through and I close the gate.   This morning I got a bonus orgasm right there in the driveway after showing him my cunt.  Luckily there are trees between us and the road. 

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Jogging Motivation and Country Living

The other day on our walk, Master told me to take off my bra.  I did a quick glance around to see if anyone was coming down the road. No one was, so I took off the bra and carried it.  

 It is good that we live in the country.  

He grabbed me by the nipple and started jogging.  Rather than let my nipple get stretched out like Elasti-girl, I followed.

Motivational, right?!  

The bra had to stay off for the rest of the walk too.





Monday, August 25, 2014

Sunday at home means butt sex

In terms of kinky stuff, this was a quiet week, and for once I was thankful.  All my sore parts got a chance to heal up and had a rest from being hit or bit or tweaked.  I still served as usual, we did our nightly ritual until it is beginning to feel more natural now, and we had sex a lot, with a little light slapping, sometimes my wrists tied down, some humiliation, but nothing very painful.

Then there was Sunday, yesterday.  I don't know if he just decided it was time again, or I had that look in my eye that was more like "Hurt me" than "Please don't hurt me", but I'm thinking it is most likely that he figured my being on my period was a good enough reason for butt sex.  And that was a good enough reason for caning. 

First he told me he wanted me upstairs.  I went up, and he had me sucking his cock in bed.  Then he got a cane and had me use the vibrator while at the same time he whacked me and I sucked more.  This is close to my favorite thing ever, it has all the good bits: his cock, orgasms, the cane... I had a few orgasms as he commanded.   

He rolled me on to my stomach and was using the cane harder and harder, then a brief pause and I felt the butt plug being pushed in.  I tried to relax, but it wasn't happening.   He pushed on it for a while, then just stuck his dick in my butt instead.  I was so not ready, but it didn't matter, it was happening.  I tried to concentrate on not making any noises, only semi-successfully.    

He pulled out rather abruptly and went to clean off.  I guess all was not sparkly clean in butt-ville. (Please don't suggest an enema, he won't allow it anyway).

I had a rush of emotion while he was gone.  Sometimes I think my bottom is directly linked to an emotion center in my brain.  Does that sound weird?  Anyway, all of a sudden I was sure I had done something wrong, displeased him somehow and that was why he had stopped.  Maybe I was too loud or too painful sounding?  

 I don't know why exactly, but I was crying when he came back.   He told me to cut it out, that the bed squeaks were simply too loud and he was going to cum on my face instead.  He reminded me it was not up to me to worry about why he wanted this or that, or why he stopped fucking my ass, but simply to accept and obey.   This cheered me up some, along with a few slaps "for sniveling", and I rather enjoyed being frosted by him.  

We took a shower together.  I got peed on.  It was good. 

However, the rest of the afternoon I still felt off somehow, muted and subdued, and I couldn't figure out why.  I felt down, like I'd been a disappointment or failed at being a good slave. I didn't say my mantra.  Actually, every time I thought of it my mind did an ironic laugh that said "No, you're not any good".   

That night during our ritual I had a whole FOUR things to confess as not being up to par in service, but they were all minor and he didn't punish me.  Maybe I would have been happier with a punishment, but I didn't ask for it.



Saturday at Tryst

I did not take notes at Tryst, so here you are getting the one week old memory version of events.  
Some things were really memorable though!

Master and I met in person a friend who had been an online friend only.
 We set up a fun bondage scene with her.  
They discussed what was going to happen while I was sent to get the rope and toy bags.  

We were both tied to a tree and then Master beat on my front side- paddles, crop, belt, misery stick, floggers and single tail.   It was very intense, coming even on top of my old bruises, and he did a lot of those head games also, which now are mostly fuzzy in my memory.  One that I remember was he stuffed some freshly cunty flavored panties (because he shoved them in my cunt first) in my mouth and then demanded that I answer questions.  Then whacked me for not speaking so he could understand.  

 Unfortunately, I started to feel a sick to my stomach, after it had gone on a long time, probably from a combination of pain and hunger, and rather than risk vomiting I asked if we could stop (this was quite a while after the panty gag had been removed).   Master immediately untied me and set me on the ground.  

After a snack I felt much better.   Skipping ahead to the evening...

Master took part in an "air tight" gang bang out in a field full of people, near the preparations of the Wishing Tree fire.   

I watched, and fetched supplies (condoms, cavicide for the mats, paper towels.)  You know, as one does.  

I waited for my turn, then he fucked me also, while the tree was burning.   It feels like a very primal thing, by fire, in the dark, surrounded by our Tribe, Master pulling my head back by the hair and ordering me to watch, to keep my eyes open and see the fire rather than close them and shut everything around us out.  It is becoming a tradition, fucking Dothraki style.  I think I can get into that kind of tradition.   

PS. I did not win the camp slut award, though I know I got at least two votes. 



Sunday, August 24, 2014

The Hunger Games

One of the events for Tryst was a version of the Hunger Games.  It was far too fabulous (the pageantry!) to describe completely, and I'm not sure how far I can go anyway without getting into the  "non disclosure" areas.  I can tell what happened to ME, but not what everyone else was doing.  We had chosen sides before camp.  On one were the tributes, or hunted, and on the other were the peacekeepers, or hunters.   Each tribute had a list of limits, likes and fears that they had filled out on paper.  When caught by a peacekeeper, they handed over the paper, and then the peacekeeper could use anything that wasn't a limit to try to force the tribute to hand over their token (name badge).   Essentially, handing over the badge was like using the safeword, you were all done. 

I hadn't brought tennis shoes or hiking boots, not realizing that we'd be doing this in the woods, so I was in a skirt and sandals (I also didn't pack pants).  I knew that I couldn't run through the woods that way, so my survival strategy would have to be based on hiding. 

 They gave us a minute or so of head start and we all jogged down the path, then split in different directions into the woods.  I found a "golden parachute" which turned out to be a 30 second head start card.  The first time I was caught I was walking down a deer trail, not having reached a hiding place.  I used the card to escape, and it actually worked. 

I went over a few hills and settled just beyond the crest of a ridge in a little thicket.  There I waited.  I watched Master (a peacekeeper) walk all around me, and another tribute run past, and another peacekeeper went around me too.  None of them spotted me.  At times I lay flat in the leaves to blend in.  The mosquitoes would find me and I'd have to move on a little bit, then wait some more.  

I heard a lot of shouting and some screaming, but couldn't really tell what they were saying. 

Eventually the sun was getting low in the sky and I thought I'd better head back before dark and before the mosquitoes got serious.   I didn't know who was left, but there was still shouting and screaming so I knew it was still on.  There was some whistling too, but I didn't know if that meant "Help, I'm lost" or "Everyone come in now".  

Walking over one hill toward camp was when I ran into Master.  I didn't attempt to run. I figured my game was over.  If he ordered me to give up my badge I would have to.  But he didn't.  Instead he yelled for more peacekeepers to come help him and then he told me to get on my knees and suck him, which I did.  He then turned me over to someone else and ran off!   The other guy looked over my list, had me do a bunch of stuff, did a bunch more stuff to me, then as I had complied with everything, he also let me go!  Yay me!

I walked into a lovely raspberry patch, which took me ages to get through without getting all scratched up and on the other side I was waylaid by two more peacekeepers.  One of them held my things while the other went straight for the most painful things I could imagine.  I kicked him, but then I was thrown to the ground and gave up my badge rather than be hurt that way anymore.   

When I got back to the group it turned out only 3 tributes were still uncaptured.   Some of them had taken extreme beatings by multiple people while refusing to surrender.  Stun guns were involved.   Hell, I would have thrown my badge at anyone who even showed me a stun gun.  

A girl has to know her limitations.  

This was one of the highlights of camp for me (and many others from what they have said) and I can't wait to do it again next year.  


Saturday, August 23, 2014

Friday Evening Whipping at Tryst

Friday was a great, challenging, tough, massively fun day.  After the book club, I gave a massage to the one who bought me in the service auction.  This was a relaxing time, during which Master wandered off and I'm not really sure what he was doing.

Then Master came back for me after an hour or two, and we went to one half of a foot massage class before ducking out to meet Travis for a scene that had been arranged for me by Master.   

 I'd been looking forward to this since Tryst last year when he'd whipped me just for a few minutes in a demo for his class.   I have a serious whip fetish.  I love everything about them: the sound, the look, the feel of it in my hand, even the stingy sort of pain is one of my favorites- hurts so much, but so good.   I got the feeling that he was very doubtful that I'd actually like what he was going to do.   He told me a while ago "There are two types of girls: those who love bullwhips and those who have actually had one used on them".  

I was wearing a skirt and no top.  I asked if Travis wanted me to wear the cuffs I had brought and he said no, he didn't want me restrained. I set my stuff to the side and gripped on to a beautiful wooden star outdoors under a small tent.  If you are on Fet, you may have seen this star on K&P this week.  

He started by discussing my limits with Master and what he planned to do.  Master rejected the idea of breathplay.   I guess he wants to be the only one to do that with me- he has his ways.  I stood there holding the star and said nothing.   

He started with sensually digging his fingernails into the pressure points of my nail beds. Ow. Then there was the warm up flogging, and some other stuff, and Master showed him how to make me cum with the trigger command.  The whip of course.  It started out nice and easy but gradually worked up to super ouchy.  Not so bad that I wanted to run off, though, not more than once or twice anyway.  But I didn't.  
Don't you love how they will say things like "You wanted this.  You asked for this?"  and then in my head I'm like "Yeah, but I was crazy/under the influence/befuddled/stupid etc."  But I don't really say anything except "Ow" and "Eeep" and a bunch of whimpers.

Maybe some screams, I'm not sure.   Also, I orgasmed without the command eventually.  

A lot of people came over to watch.  I could hear them commenting.  Then it was all done, and there were hugs and pets and I sat on the ground and enjoyed my endorphin haze.  There were pictures taken by the official photographer.  I'm sure I looked a mess.  There was a little blood. 
I'll just refer back to this post for what happened next: 

Aftercare


We ate a quick snack and rushed off to join in the camp Hunger Games.  It is time now for me to get busy, so I'll have to save that for another blog.