Monday, September 29, 2014

One of Two

I'm one of Master's two best bitches.  He tells me so.
And I'm not jealous at all because the other one is a dog.   

Her name is Pepper.

Sunday, September 28, 2014

Alexander Day

Saturday I had one of those Alexander days.  You know, a No Good Horrible Awful Very Bad Day.  

Which was weird because it started out so well.   Perhaps I should say I had about 8 hours of badness surrounded by the good parts.  I have debated with myself heavily about even sharing the bad part because now it just seems like unreasonable, nonsensical whining, but what the heck.  The good the bad and the ugly, we all have it.  So I'm sharing it in the interests of not thinking my life is one big pile of rosy sex (ok, sometimes it is :)  ).  

Master started the day by kicking me out of bed before 6 to make his breakfast, which is normal and expected.  He had a sausage burrito and I had Cheerios.  When he was getting dressed, since he was working a half day, I went back upstairs.  He told me to get the Hitachi and use it while he watched.  He sat on the settee, continuing to dress, putting his socks on, while I lay on the floor playing with the wand and my pussy.   He came over and stepped on my neck, pressing down until I went light headed.  He told me to come, several times, before he moved his foot to my chest and I coughed at the release of pressure. 

Then he was off to work, and I was ok until I started trying to look at job listings.  See, Master has ordered me to get a job.  So far I have sent two resumes, got an offer to speak to someone more about one, but they only had second shift, which I can't do.  The other... well, that was a problem.   I don't want to go through the whole thing, but problems with my email vanishing and our phone being dead and lack of taking notes on paper meant that I don't know what happened with that resume.  Anyway the job is not posted any more.  So after an hour of frustration, during which the kids were constantly talking to me and I got way more snappish with them than I should have, I started looking at more postings.   

This is so depressing.  Nothing appeals to me in the ads.  I have no idea what I want to do.  I might as well be 19 again with no clear ideas at all of where I'm going.  He's not going to tell me where I'm going or what I'm supposed to be doing in this area. Maybe he doesn't know either.    I'm qualified for practically nothing.  I have huge (11 year) gaps in my resume.   I feel like an utter failure.  I want to obey Master and get a job, and feel like I've failed so far in making any progress toward this.   When I read the descriptions of what employers are seeking all I can think is "That is so not me... I'm just going to have to fake it to get hired for anything at all" and I'm not talking about the experience/training which I obviously wouldn't fake, but the personality qualities they describe.   So, after several hours of this I have found nothing to even apply for.  

I had promised the kids we would go to the park, but Master messaged me and said he'd be home soon.  We could wait for him to eat lunch and he would go with us.  This sounded like a nice plan. 

Then the guy who sells us firewood called and said he could come over.  I knew Master would want the wood, so I said yes. 

I made Master's lunch in preparation.  After he had eaten I wanted to talk about my problems with the email and job things, but he was too busy and kept putting me off, and my car had to be moved out of the driveway.  He was on the phone for work when the firewood guy came.  I helped unload the trailer full of wood on to the back porch.  Master and the kids came out after a little while and we got it done pretty quickly all together.    

When the neighbor left for another load, I tried to talk to Master again, but the kids still also wanted to talk, and I was snappish to one of them.  Then Master corrected me and I apologized to both.  I felt stupid and horrible and awful, not to mention embarrassed.    Talking with him about the job stuff didn't really help either, I just felt worse that I hadn't accomplished as much as I thought I should have.    I just felt completely lousy about the whole thing.  I thought he was disappointed with me also.  Plus I feel guilty that he is working seven days a week and I'm not working at all.

He told me to quit moping and take the kids to the park, that he would do the other loads of wood himself rather than have me sulking around.  So I did that.  It was all great until the kids started throwing sand, got in big fight with each other and I told them we had to leave.  I'm just sure that my crabby attitude had made them crabby too.  So that was all my fault as well.

When we got home it was time to make dinner and Master was still stacking the rest of the wood (we got 3 trailer loads).  He was hot and worn out, so I made him some cold lemonade and cooked dinner. 

He told me he was not disappointed with me and he knew it was going to be hard, but I should not get discouraged and I would find something, even if it was very entry level, that was ok. 

After the kids were in bed we watched a small bit of a silly movie, then went to bed. 

He told me to get up and face away when he came to the bedroom.  He couldn't find his old belt, so he used the newer one that he wears every day.  It was heavier, and hurt like a son of a gun, with no warm up or anything.  When he told me to get in bed I was rubbing my sore thighs.  Feeling that pain and rubbing it put me into such a heat of desire.  Master pushed my legs apart and slid on top of me.

It was a good ending to the day.  

And today, I'm filling out more applications on line.  Master is at work, again.   


Saturday, September 27, 2014

Friday Night At Home

Last night I crouched in position waiting for Master for a long time.  I don't know the actual length of time, but I had to stretch and move several times when I became stiff and sore.  

I really thought we were going straight to sleep, but instead he had me face away from him, crouching on the floor still, ass up, head down, and he caned me hard on the butt and thighs, a few dozen stinging swats.   Just shows you never can tell.  Or at least I can't tell what he's going to want.

He kicked my legs apart and fucked me like that, telling me to come.  I did the first time, but not the second or third time.

He pulled out and told me to get in bed.  I wobbled my way over there, put down an extra blanket (for absorption!) and lay on my back.  He came over and asked if I had orgasmed every time he commanded.  I didn't say anything at all for a few seconds.  I was struck a bit dumb.   

He gripped me by the throat, saying "You answer me when I ask you something". 

I squeaked out "No, Master".   

"You need more beatings then," he told me, "Roll over."

He caned me again, then hung my head off the bed and fucked me all upside down so the blood rushed to my head.  Do head rushes make for more intense sexual experiences?  They seem to for me.

There was a lot more pounding of my tender cunt (still a bit sore from Thursday- I never wrote about Thursday's events, but it was was really fun too.  Actually so was Wednesday, I've just been slacking on the blog).  

When Master came, thrusting into me hard from behind, I still had the desire for more orgasms (greedy, insatiable, even sore cunt!) and after a brief internal struggle I asked him if I could use the Hitachi.

He told me no.   He told me some other things too, which I cradled to my heart, wrapping his words around me like a blanket.  They were words of ownership, possession, domination, control.  
It is so good to be reminded this way that I am his fuckhole, his cunt who deserves to be used as he wants.   And so much better than another orgasm.   I smiled to myself as I snuggled into his arm.  

Tomorrow, he said, tomorrow you can use your wand and come. 


Friday, September 26, 2014

Master Wrote This One. :)

Ah, you poor sorry sad slaves. When my alarm goes off I kick ksst out of bed. "Make me sausage and tea!" I command, "While I get 15 more minutes of sleep."

"But Master!" she whimpers sliding up and down my leg, "We haven't fucked since last night! Just a little? Please?"

"The only sausage you're getting this morning is going to be in my breakfast burrito, and don't give me that Theon Greyjoy crap either."

"Yes, Master." she mumbles in dejection.

"Ah, ah, ah. You know the rules!"

"Yeth, Marster!" ksst lisps. "Your thathages will be ready thoon."

"Good Igorina."

And 15 minutes later my thauthage, I mean sausages are ready. If they taste a extra special, it's because they are made with love.
That's also why we are always running low on kielbasa.

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Well. THAT was something new.

I was whipped with lima beans.   The whole plant.  

It is garden foreplay? 


Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Things that are not fair #84

That he knows exactly what I'm thinking without me saying anything.

And that is all, for now.

See yesterday's post for details.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

A Foot Rub Lesson

You never know where you are going to find a lesson.   

 Sunday, I made a plan for the kids to be out, and we would have a few hours alone together at home.  He liked that idea.

So we got home, and I was so nervous (of potential painful things) and excited (yay, sexy times and ouchie things!) that my stomach was doing flip flops.  We had a couple short hours to play.  

Master tells me to change into something sexy.  I put on a little black nightie, and my leather collar.   When I come back he sits down at the computer to play his game and says "Rub my feet, slave".  So, ok, I rub his feet, all is well and good.  A little relaxation for him.

  The time is ticking by.

  I start to get a little anxious.  

Maybe he doesn't really want to play with me.    Maybe computer games are more interesting than me.  Maybe I'm that boring.  Maybe he's mad at me.... argh my brain, why does it do this?!   I don't ask any of that out loud because it never goes well.  He wants what he wants, which is not to hear my brains hamster wheel in action when he's trying to relax.  (For those on Fet- obedience vs. transparency discussion- sound familiar?)

Then I start to put all that out of my mind and think only of the moment, and how it is good that I can serve him as he wants to be served.  I'm here for his desires, not the other way around.   I let myself enjoy the fact that he makes me wait.  I let myself enjoy being his slave, and am realizing the only thing that matters at this moment is his pleasure and my submission to his will.  

Then I switch to rubbing his other foot. 

I have no idea what he's thinking about, but the only things he says to me are "Enjoy your humility, slave" and other encouraging comments, but a while later he tells me it is time to tie me up and beat me.  My mind is in a good place.  Relaxed, servile, ready. 

He told me to strip, gave me a few hard strikes with the cane which made me yip and dance, and tied my hands to the rafter.  There was much beating with canes, misery stick (ow!) and belt, then fucking, and then he thoroughly plundered my ass before pulling out and decorating me with come.  

Afterward I asked to stay home, because I was pretty well worn out and wanted a moment by myself, but he said no, I was coming with him because he wanted me with him.   I appreciated this almost as much as my foot rub lesson.   It actually made me smile when he said no.   Such a powerful little word.   

"Can I...?"


And everything is suddenly all right.  I am happy to do what he wants just because he wants it.  Happy to be his creature.

I like to be reminded that he's in charge, that any pleasures come from him on his schedule, including whether or not I get after sex relaxation time.