Wednesday, October 22, 2014

An Hour Ago

An hour ago I was in the shower, curled at the drain, crying.  Watching the clear water swirl around the drain and thinking how much better it would look in deep red. 

I imagined Master pissing on me, lifting my chin and covering my face, hair, lips, nose, eyes, stinking piss everywhere.   "Man, that smells bad", he said- that was Sunday, wasn't it? And Saturday too.   I silently agreed with him then.

I am worth pissing on.  Otherwise, why would he bother.  I pulled myself up, away from the mesmerizing drain, shaved half of one leg (who is going to see my legs, who cares?) and got out to dry myself.  I considered going collarless (who will notice? who cares?) but I put it on after all.   I considered not being a slave anymore, but I know that is what I am and I can't do otherwise.

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Doing some work

I cleaned up my plant area on the kitchen window, re-potted a succulent that had way overgrown its pot and was trying to take over the pot of the cactus next to it with its little dropping rootlets. 

 I threw out the basil plant which had died due to our house being too cold for it.  Then I cleaned out the fridge (my Tuesday chore from Master's schedule), swept downstairs and vacuumed upstairs.   I'm feeling a bit wooly headed and dizzy now; I probably have the cold the kids brought home.

Last night we went over to Mystique's where we dozed on and off (all the adults anyway, the kids were wide awake) while watching Big Bang Theory on television.

So, not much exciting going on here.  How about in your world?   

Monday, October 20, 2014

I Don't Have Any of the Power

... and yet another reminder of this fact last night.   

I don't WANT the power here, but every now and then I start to think maybe I have some, in a weird roundabout way.  Like if I say no maybe it will keep him from doing that thing.  Or if I say no when I mean yes he will have to do that thing simply to show me he can.  But I don't even have that much power.  He does just want he wants.  

I should have figured that out by now.   
"Duh" moment or deeper learning moment?  
Or just a reminder?  
I guess I need those sometimes.  
Anyway, here are some pretty trees: 


Links

I've been collecting some links that I have found useful, interesting or just hot. 

http://thebuddhistblog.blogspot.com/2010/12/letting-go-of-expectations.html

http://www.powerandsurrender.com/3-ways-the-loyal-opposition-is-killing-your-power-exchange/

http://www.powerandsurrender.com/things-to-understand-if-your-friends-with-a-slave/

http://www.erosblog.com/2008/12/28/tentacle-sex-with-suckers/


Saturday, October 18, 2014

Nightly Beatings

Master tells me to lie face down on the bed on an extra blanket to start out.  Afterward I suck his cock and thank him for the beating.   It has been wonderful getting nightly beatings this week.   There has been less sex, which is the norm for the week of my period, because he isn't keen on the mess, but last night after the caning and the sucking he also fucked me, which was extra wonderful.   I had the most massive orgasm, and it was one that was not on command.  

Happily for me that does not get me in trouble.   


I have gotten a beating with cane or paddle or both every night this week.  I have a rather large bruise on  my ass, and a very sore thigh. 

 This makes me content.  I poke them. 

 There was a writing on fet about a girl thinking "constantly wearing his marks on my body" would a horrible thing, and how she's so glad her dom is NICE, and then a massive drama about this gal's new dom frenzy ramblings, but all I could think was that I am so lucky in the weeks when I do feel his marks on me day after day, and have them refreshed at night.   

Also, fall is gorgeous here when it's not raining.




Friday, October 17, 2014

Contrasts

This morning.  In the kitchen.  He's on his way out the door and gives me a tender hug.  He strokes my face and tells me he loves me.  He picks up a knife from the dish drainer and presses it to my throat.   No reason, just because he can.   I instantly turn from sleepy and tender to slightly afraid and very aroused.  He tells me to orgasm, right there, standing in the kitchen and I do. He's holding me up with one arm.  He lets go of me, picks up his lunch and heads out. 

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Belt

Master came home much earlier than I expected yesterday, so I hadn't really finished doing a lot of things I should have done.  

When I asked if he wanted lunch, instead of saying yes as I expected, he gripped the back of my neck and propelled me into the living room.  No one else was home.  He pushed me over the arm of the sofa, lifted my robe and I heard the clinking of his belt buckle.   Doubled up in his hand, the belt came down on my ass and thighs.  He looped it around my wrists (such a great versatile item!) and he held me like that with one hand while he spanked me with the other.   Leaving the belt on my hands, he moved to my face and allowed me to suck his cock.  Then he pulled me upstairs using the belt as a leash.  He pulled it to the floor forcefully and me along with it.  I crouched on the floor, peering back at him nervously as he got implements out.  He caned me in that position, then ordered me up, took took the belt back and beat me some more with it.   I had had several orgasms by this time, all on his command.

Master ordered me into bed where he had me suck his cock while he read some stories from our book of vintage erotica.  Some of the things they thought about back then- whooo wee!  One day I'm going to type it up and share it here, perhaps- my favorite story of St. Francis' holy relic expunging the sins of a maiden while her friend watches from a hiding place (spoiler, the "relic" is Father whatshisname's penis!).  "Ah Father, I see heavenly bliss opening up to me!"   

Then Master fucked me good and thoroughly.  It had been soooo long since I'd had anything more than beatings and giving head. 

 It had been since Saturday morning, actually, which is practically forever to my oh so greedy cunt, and it was desperately eager for him.  After hanging my head off the bed and fucking me, he allowed me to use the vibrator as I rode him.  He slapped and punched and bit me.  My tits are still aching. 

 He fucked me from behind and held off my nose and mouth until my chest strained for breath, then he'd let go and order me to come. It was hard to tell which was sweeter, the first breath or the orgasm.  
Both together, is like heaven. 

Afterward, our normal shower ritual.