Saturday, May 28, 2016

Well, Good Morning.

I was sitting here just catching up on some blog reading when Master came down and stood beside my chair. He touched me gently and smiled at me, kissed me.  Then he guided me to the floor by my hair, and pulled my head on to his cock.  After a minute of sucking he pulled me back up and bent me over the kitchen counter.  He slid his dick up and down my hole, which did the trick of producing enough lube for him, and then he thrust into me.  A few short minutes later he pulled out without finishing and said I should make his breakfast.  Tea, bacon, a small piece of the strawberry torte I made last night, whole strawberries, grapes and toast with cheese. 

Good morning to you too, Master.

Soon, I'm guessing, it will be time for the second course.  
He keeps giving me those looks. 


Happy Used Hole

That was me Thursday night when I was waiting in my position and Master simply came up behind me and took me without preamble or warning.  So hot!

And the night before, Wednesday, I was a happy used hole with clover clamps on! They're painfully delicious.   He especially loves the stricken with fright look on my face as he brings them toward me, snapping.


Thursday, May 26, 2016

Doubt, Guilt and Miscommunication

When the perfect storm of guilt, doubt and miscommunication come together, then what do you do?

I was talking to Master about trying something new on the far edge of my comfort zone with other people.  I already had a huge doubt in my mind as to whether I wanted to do it at all.  However, I get really excited when I'm making plans, so I probably didn't show the doubt.

I was also having doubts about whether he would want me to do it.   I sometimes don't think what he will allow me to do and what he actually wants me to do are the same thing.  I suppose this is a form of doubting him that I really should eliminate from my mind. It's just hard.   If I ask "Would you let me...?" or "Would it be ok with you...?" I still haven't gotten at my real question, which is "Does this sound fun to you?"  or even more insecurely, "Will you still be happy with me if I do this?"

And then we get to the guilt.  I'm quite sure from everything previous in my life, society, everything I learned as a vanilla person, that what I'm asking to do is quite unacceptable to most people.  So I have guilt that I want to do it at all.  If Master would get even a little upset at the thought of it happening, it is not high enough on my list of wants to bother with and I would immediately lose interest.

With doubt and guilt already present lurking in my mind, then came the miscommunication.  He switched without warning me from the talk about actual plans to wanting me to tell him a hot and sexy fantasy story.  Only he didn't say it that way, and I didn't realize he'd changed, and I thought he was mad at me.   I kind of stormed off and snapped a bit in hurt.  He told me he wasn't mad, but I didn't really understand.  It seemed obvious to me.  Miscommunication pitfall #2.

He was still in "About to have sex" mode and told me to get my butt plug in while he was gone.  I did this, all the while feeling confused and hurt and a bit mad.  But being a slave is obeying anyway. 

When he came home I was naked, wearing my leather collar and butt plug and ready to be at his disposal.  I knelt on the floor and sucked him then he had me lie on my back and play with myself. Then more sucking and he came on my face.  He took me upstairs and told me to lie on the bed, face down.  He caned me then, which was painfully delicious. 

Even later on, we talked again about the communication issue, and got it all sorted out.


Monday, May 23, 2016

The Kinky Sex

When we got home last night Master had me rub his feet.  I was sent to wait for him upstairs and instead of getting immediately into position I got busy doing a few things, as I often do for a few minutes before getting ready for him.   Things like folding laundry, putting it away, filing my nails--- then Master came in.  I didn't hear him coming and I was instantly ashamed/abashed/frightened at not being in position.  I heard nothing of his coming, probably because I'm not used to the fan being on in our room.

"What. Are. You. Doing."


I dropped into position and he walked around me, saying nothing.  He took the long cane up, told me to close my legs and began thrashing me.  Hard.  After that he fucked me.  He was very aggressive about it, and I love that so much. He turned me into a complete puddle.

Chatting about M/s

We had a fabulous weekend with our friends Travis and Wolfmoon.  We attended his workshop on mindfucks, which is brand new.  He's testing out the lecture to see if it can be improved.  His workshops are always good (many jokes and stories, omg funny!), though we did come up with some hopefully helpful feedback.

 Then dinner with the munch group (more hilarity ensued) and back to their hotel room to hang out.  Nothing kinky happened, but many interesting discussions were held, some of which were about M/s relationships.  This continued the next day as I made brunch for them, and then we took a long and buggy hike in the woods.

We fit together so naturally and comfortably, all of us, and it is always so interesting to hear their perspectives.  He's been in the lifestyle for just about forever.

There are a lot of similarities between his outlook and my Master's. They share the idea that there as many ways to have a M/s relationship as there are couples who are doing it.    Neither is into the protocol or micromanagement much, just purely having obedience at all times.  Love, marriage, and a life partnership with one person ultimately in charge:  these are shared values for all 4 four of us.  Master shares Travis' love for mindfucks too.  

Mindfucking me is something that my Master has always done, without even knowing what it was.   Learning and consciously doing a mindfuck makes it even more interesting and powerful.   

For us, it is a lot about about the fear factor, which makes both of us excited.  Sometimes I am more than slightly afraid, like with the lighter play.  
Light my cunt hair on fire just one time and all future fire mindfucks become that much more intense. 

  Not all mindfucks involve fear, but some of the best do, I think. There needs to be a lot of trust.  It is never something to do with someone you just met, not the really intense or elaborate mindfucks anyway.
  Sometimes the hard part is convincing the fuckee that the mindfucker really is that crazy motherfucker who might just light you on fire.  Feeling is believing.  Balancing trust and fear is a fine line.

Much of our conversation was non-BDSM related, especially when the kids were around.  Politics was a big one.

One of the neatest things to me was to see how much our older kid, a teenager, really likes Travis.  They were talking about all kinds of things.  It was very cool to actually have him voluntarily hanging out with us, even going for the hike, instead of hiding in his room with his computer. 

All in all, it was a very successful weekend of fun.  Saturday morning and Sunday afternoon were for gardening, and we got a lot more planted.  Then Sunday night was our regular Game of Thrones with Mystique night.   The episode had me in tears twice! 
 (No spoilers here). 

Friday, May 20, 2016

Yesterday, the good

Dinner turned out wonderfully.  I was in the shower when Master got home so I didn't get to serve him.  I just couldn't take the grimy feeling any more, and he was pretty late.

After dinner we played Codenames, the new game Master bought, with the kids and they loved it.  It's a lot of fun for everyone.  Challenging, but fun.  

Later on, Master went upstairs while I finished feeding and letting out dogs.  I came up and he told me to take off his socks and massage his feet.  Then the rest of him.  After he'd had a full body massage (accompanied by teasing light touches to his balls and penis when I thought I could get away with it, hee hee!) he pushed my head down to his cock.  I only think I'm getting away with something, really he likes the teasing.

He tells me to ride on top, but I'm not wet or aroused much there, as eager as I am, so I have a hard time making it feel good.   He begins spanking me and soon I'm gushing.   Then he tells me to go get the Hitachi and an extra blanket.  It's too late for the blanket as everything in the bed is already soaked.  I just changed the sheets too!   Ah, well, this happens all the time.

When I come back he has the clover clamps at the ready.  They hurt so fucking bad, but soon I'm coming again.  Then he removes them and starts snapping at me with them like they are little vicious alligators.  This is really funny until one of them connects with my tit in a very evil snap and jerk!  Ow!  When he starts snapping them again I reflexively cover myself, and wish that he would slap me, but he doesn't.  After a few times of putting them on me and taking them off, pushing my chest back so I can't lean down to follow the pull of the clamps, he put one on himself and attached the other to the ring on my collar.  Then he had me lean back.  He says that doesn't hurt at all ????
We have very different anatomy.

He ties my hands together and fucks me.  After he has fucked me from behind and come inside me, he brings out a cane and beats my ass and thighs.  He puts the clover clamps on my labia and finger fucks me, a really good kind of pain.  I believe I was in subspace after that for a short time.  

The good outweighed the bad yesterday, finally.  

Tomorrow should be a fun day too. We are planning to go to a munch and will get to see friends from out of town again there, and then we have invited them for Sunday brunch.  Master wants me to make an all pie meal. 




Yesterday, the bad

Yesterday did get better.

It started with me intending to get up and make breakfast for Master.  But I fell back asleep and by the time I woke up 5 minutes (or so) later he'd already started on it.   I felt bad even though I'm not supposed to.

Then the littlest kid was so crabby that everything turned into a fight.   By the time he left I just went in the bathroom and cried.

Then a friend called with some bad news about someone she knew in the scene getting arrested for some pretty bad stuff.  Which can have repercussions beyond just that one person when it comes to kink/ police/all that crap.  Hopefully it won't, but it can.  So that made me a little more glum.

I treated with sunshine and hard work.  Mowed the lawn, moved sheep around, weeded in the flower beds, planted beans, spent a lot of time moving the sprinkler around to water.  Walked the fence lines and pasture looking for fallen down posts and thistles.  I found one post to use to replace one that has rotted out and is just being held up by the fence instead of the other way around.  No thistles.  Then I mowed some more grass, did 5 loads of laundry and started dinner in the crockpot (BBQ ribs).  By the end of the day I was feeling pretty good.

Then today the kid is sick (again!) and my herding student cancelled.  

So, that was all the bad parts of my week, now for a post about the good.