Saturday, October 25, 2014

Cravings

Master went to bed early last night, after we had gone out for Mexican food with some friends from his work and assorted children. 

 I was up late letting dogs out and feeding them for a while.   When I finally came to bed he woke slightly and got up to brush his teeth (he was REALLY tired, so much that he just flopped into bed).  He came back in and I asked him if I could touch my cunt.  He said no. I hadn't had an orgasm that day, but ok, no big deal, right?  I was horny but not desperate, plus I was sleepy too even though it was only 10:00 then.

As we snuggled under the covers his hand slid down by body to my inner thigh.    I kept my legs closed a few fractions of a second too long.    He whispered fiercely to me "You will open  your legs when I reach for your cunt, slave."  My legs spread for him.  The sternness, the demand, the ownership in his words thrilled me then and even more now, thinking about it.   Wanting to touch myself still.


He tormented my cunt and my mind for a few minutes, telling me I'd have to wait, that there would be no fucking until tomorrow. He asked me if I wanted it, and how badly and what I wanted and I replied to him.  When I was good and worked up he told me it was bedtime and went to sleep.  Big sigh.


My emotions during all this were remarkably calm.  Of course I am just here to serve him and if I am a bit frustrated because he wants me to be, that is my proper place.  But this calm and comforting emotion contrasts severely with other times when the same situation has thrown me into a more desperately unhappy state of mind.   

There have been other times when I badly wanted this feeling of acceptance of his will and could not find it.  It is such a relief to have that, at least.

I woke at 6 am with his hard-on pressing against me.  I rubbed back against him with my ass.  He told me to suck it and I squirmed under the covers to comply eagerly.   In a few minutes he pulled me off of him by my hair and then the exquisite command came:


"Lie on your back and spread your fucking legs, cunt".  


He fucked me and came quickly because he had to be off to work, but it was very delicious.  He slapped my face and made me come too.  I'm craving so much more now, but not allowed to masturbate still today. 

Friday, October 24, 2014

Things going well

Things are going well.  The last two nights Master made an extra effort to be with me, spend time with me, watch some movies, and especially helpful for my mood problem, to order me about to do various things, fuck me silly and then last night to use my ass thoroughly.  

Plus I went to lunch with Mystique yesterday and another friend today.  

I am feeling very cared for right now.  I just have a few minutes to jot something here before we head out to dinner too (yay, no cooking!).   

And with any luck, a kinky event to attend tomorrow night, a Halloween party. 


Wednesday, October 22, 2014

An Hour Ago

An hour ago I was in the shower, curled at the drain, crying.  Watching the clear water swirl around the drain and thinking how much better it would look in deep red. 

I imagined Master pissing on me, lifting my chin and covering my face, hair, lips, nose, eyes, stinking piss everywhere.   "Man, that smells bad", he said- that was Sunday, wasn't it? And Saturday too.   I silently agreed with him then.

I am worth pissing on.  Otherwise, why would he bother.  I pulled myself up, away from the mesmerizing drain, shaved half of one leg (who is going to see my legs, who cares?) and got out to dry myself.  I considered going collarless (who will notice? who cares?) but I put it on after all.   I considered not being a slave anymore, but I know that is what I am and I can't do otherwise.

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Doing some work

I cleaned up my plant area on the kitchen window, re-potted a succulent that had way overgrown its pot and was trying to take over the pot of the cactus next to it with its little dropping rootlets. 

 I threw out the basil plant which had died due to our house being too cold for it.  Then I cleaned out the fridge (my Tuesday chore from Master's schedule), swept downstairs and vacuumed upstairs.   I'm feeling a bit wooly headed and dizzy now; I probably have the cold the kids brought home.

Last night we went over to Mystique's where we dozed on and off (all the adults anyway, the kids were wide awake) while watching Big Bang Theory on television.

So, not much exciting going on here.  How about in your world?   

Monday, October 20, 2014

I Don't Have Any of the Power

... and yet another reminder of this fact last night.   

I don't WANT the power here, but every now and then I start to think maybe I have some, in a weird roundabout way.  Like if I say no maybe it will keep him from doing that thing.  Or if I say no when I mean yes he will have to do that thing simply to show me he can.  But I don't even have that much power.  He does just want he wants.  

I should have figured that out by now.   
"Duh" moment or deeper learning moment?  
Or just a reminder?  
I guess I need those sometimes.  
Anyway, here are some pretty trees: 


Links

I've been collecting some links that I have found useful, interesting or just hot. 

http://thebuddhistblog.blogspot.com/2010/12/letting-go-of-expectations.html

http://www.powerandsurrender.com/3-ways-the-loyal-opposition-is-killing-your-power-exchange/

http://www.powerandsurrender.com/things-to-understand-if-your-friends-with-a-slave/

http://www.erosblog.com/2008/12/28/tentacle-sex-with-suckers/


Saturday, October 18, 2014

Nightly Beatings

Master tells me to lie face down on the bed on an extra blanket to start out.  Afterward I suck his cock and thank him for the beating.   It has been wonderful getting nightly beatings this week.   There has been less sex, which is the norm for the week of my period, because he isn't keen on the mess, but last night after the caning and the sucking he also fucked me, which was extra wonderful.   I had the most massive orgasm, and it was one that was not on command.  

Happily for me that does not get me in trouble.   


I have gotten a beating with cane or paddle or both every night this week.  I have a rather large bruise on  my ass, and a very sore thigh. 

 This makes me content.  I poke them. 

 There was a writing on fet about a girl thinking "constantly wearing his marks on my body" would a horrible thing, and how she's so glad her dom is NICE, and then a massive drama about this gal's new dom frenzy ramblings, but all I could think was that I am so lucky in the weeks when I do feel his marks on me day after day, and have them refreshed at night.   

Also, fall is gorgeous here when it's not raining.