Monday, September 30, 2013

My Day

Today is my Master's last day at his job.  After that he has some offers to consider and one more interview, I think, and he will be making the decision soon, then I will know where I'm going.

His day seems to be going well, I just talked to him, so I thought I'd write about my tasks for the day.

In addition to my normal cooking, cleaning, laundry and animal and child care he gave me a list of tasks for today.  It reads:

-10:00 be home for the furnace maintenance person to come.  This meant I had to have all the dogs out and then put away before then.  Not so hard, but when they didn't show up until 10:40 I was slightly miffed, especially as I was meeting Mystique to go for our walk at 11:30, and I still had to let the dogs out once more before that.   (Note: this is the long explanatory version, my list really just said "furnace 10:00".)

 - Take the board in the car to the hardware store and get a new one just like it.  It ended up being a standard 2 x 6 x 8 footer.

- Air out the tent

-Outside painting

-Call the car shop to make a repair appointment for his car

-Clean window sill and screen frame of the window that is getting replaced

I have not done any outside painting yet, the laundry is not done, the dog poo hasn't been picked up and I really should vacuum upstairs and clean his bathroom...but I did that other stuff and crossed it off my list. 

Sunday, September 29, 2013

Uma (Creepy Stalker Paddle) Likes Me!

Yesterday Master said my ass had yet another date with Uma, the smiley paddle.  But this time she would just be having fun with me, no punishment.   I would be taking a lot more smacks, and a lot harder, than the night before, but it would be FUN.  

 That is what he said. 

It is an entirely different thing for both of us, a paddling vs. a punishment, because of the tone, the emotions, and all the little touches, the warm up, the orgasms, everything Master does along with the paddling which brings up my ability to take more from him and enjoy it.  


This toy has been given a "personality" by the creepy, evil side of my Master.  And I mean that in the sweetest and most loving way possible, because, um, I like my ass in one piece, thank you.  

She talks.  
She whispers. 
She threatens.  
She laughs and cackles evilly.   

Master denies hearing anything from her.  Can you say gaslighting? 
It really is quite creepy.  

But after last night I think she is getting to like me, mostly because I am so fun to beat on, I guess. 

When Master came upstairs, I was kneeling prone on the floor, head down, arms stretched out above my head.  

"That is what I like", he commented, as he walked around behind me.  I heard him pick up something from the toy drawer, then he stuck his foot roughly between my legs to lift my butt higher.  

Whap. Whap.  Whap.  The paddle landed on my butt, over and over, until I really wanted to come.   I begged for the orgasm, and he said yes, whereupon I curled up and fell over on my side.  He cut it short, pulling me back into position and telling me curtly I didn't have permission to flop down on my side.  

More paddling, then he laid me down flat on the floor and kept after my poor sore butt and thighs.  There was stroking also, and orgasms, and lots of pain.  It was all so delicious.   Then he had me spread my legs, and telling me I really ought to have more sympathy for kaya's predicament, he clipped a bunch of clothespins to my cunt lips, then played with them.  He paddled me some more, making the pins bounce in a painfully hot way.   

He took a Wartenburg wheel to my cunt.   
Yeowch.  That hurt quite a bit.   

He began poking about in my pussy with something not quite as sharp as the wheel, but still not comfortable.  I still don't know what it was.  I didn't dare ask because I was afraid to find out at the time.   But it went in my cunt and it didn't feel good, being all hard and edgy.  It might have been a clothespin.  

He removed the clothespins, sending more pain down there with the release.   There was a lot more paddling.  And he wrote a song on my butt.  I can't read it there, but if I get him to read it to me it goes like this: 

Sprinkle, sprinkle little twat
This is making you so hot.
Down between your loamy thighs,
You will get a big surprise.
Sprinkle, sprinkle little twat,
When I give you a big swat.

He sang me the song repeatedly, paddling the whole time, then giving me a swat between the legs with the paddle at the appropriate time.  

Sometimes he used the other end of the paddle, which has a leather string attached, so it was more whippy feeling, along with the smack of the paddle handle.

The whole time, I'm getting the feeling that "Uma" is having a grand old time beating me, and may be getting to like me just a little bit.  

Finally when my whole ass felt like one big bruise, he put aside the paddle and clothespins and just fucked me roughly from behind on the floor.  

I only woke up once last night, but I woke up in pain, moaning and crying.   I woke Master with this noise (not meaning to) and he asked what was wrong.  "Just really sore, Master."  

I might have dreamed that last bit.    
At least there were no creepy voices in the night.



Master's Earn-A-Rope Program

Master beckoned me to follow him upstairs.  Once in our room he told me to lie on the bed and spread my legs.  With little preamble he took me, thrusting in hard and telling me to come immediately.  

He pulled my legs up in the air to rest on his shoulders and thrust in so deep he was hitting the bottom of my insides.  This hurt me and I moaned and whimpered.  

"Does that hurt, slave?" 

"Yes, Master".

"It feels good to me, so suffer". 

"Yes, Master".

It hurt, but it was a good, deep, satisfying, intensely erotic kind of pain.  

 I said I might try to get away from him, and maybe he should tie me up.  I really like to be tied up. 

He said no.

Then he said we'd play a little game.  

His conditions:

If I got away from him, as far as the bedroom door, I could have some rope on me.  I do love rope, and it seems like I never get enough of it.   This prize seemed way out of reach, as I started the game pinned under his full weight on the bed.  

If I didn't get away from him, then he'd win, and no rope for me.  

Either way, he'd do whatever he wanted with me; that is just the ground rules.

He gave me a "3,2,1, go" count down and I started to struggle.  At first it seemed completely hopeless. I could barely budge.  He had both my wrists easily held in his one hand.  He used the other hand to jab the pressure point on my inner thigh- that fucking hurts! and it makes my legs spring apart.   Such a handy thing for him, isn't it?  

I kept squirming, and every time I'd make some progress he'd push in another pressure point or twist a nipple to immobilize me.   I tried to get a hold of the hand pressure point on him, but was totally missing it.

"You should at least learn to hit the right spot with that- do you want me to show you?"  he asked helpfully.

My self  preservation instinct kicked in and I said, "No Master, I don't want to hurt you".   

But he showed me the spot again anyway, my pressing it hard on my own hand.  Fuck.  Ouch. 

I squirmed more and managed to slide out from under him on to the floor.  He came down right on top of me, still pinning me under him. He had a hold on my wrist.  I tried using my hand to lever his thumb back, the way they taught us in self defense class.   I couldn't even budge it.  I tried to bring his hand close enough to my mouth to bite, but he wasn't falling for that trick (again) and kept it well away.  

Then he turned me over and had me completely pinned again.  He stuck his finger in my pussy and I lay helpless as he then stuck it in my ass.   How humiliating, to be held immobile and then stuck in the butt with a finger just to show how helpless I really was. 

He must have released his grip after that, because I continued to squiggle until I got away, and bounced across the room to touch the door.   

Immediately I returned to him and knelt at his feet.  (Is it possible to gloat while on your knees? Yes, yes it is).   

 He told me to fetch him a rope.  I did.   He wrapped a quick chest harness and tied my hands behind my back.   

He pushed me to my knees again, my face on the floor, backside up in the air, and he took me, using the harness as a handle to fuck me.

It was painful again, way down deep inside, and I got rug burn on my face and knees, but it was totally worth it.  So. Fucking. Good. 


Saturday, September 28, 2013

Sleep Fucking

Ok, this was just a really odd thing.

Last night, about 12:30, I went back to bed.  Immediately Master was groping me, pulling my nipples, had his hand between my legs.  I was tired but willing, and with the hand twiddling me, soon I was more than willing.   He had a huge hard on.  And I mean that. Huge.  I ducked beneath the blankets and took it my mouth.   A few minutes later he told me to get it my cunt.  I was on top, and he spanked me a bit while I fucked him.  He made me cum, by giving me the command, a  few times, then he told me "Ok, that's enough" and he rolled me off.  I curled up on his arm and went to sleep.

That is not the odd part, though.

This morning I mentioned it to him and he's like "What? We had sex last night?" not teasing me, just honestly confused.   He had no idea about any of it, since I guess he'd been asleep through the whole thing.   
I asked him if he had any good dreams.  Nope.  No dreams either.   

How very odd.

Friday, September 27, 2013

Crime and Punishment

I always feel squeamish and guilty talking about actual punishments.  Often I completely skip over them in this blog, or write the barest hint.   It is not a subject with which I am comfortable at all.  There are so many emotions, and I'm always afraid it will come out sounding wrong. 

This morning I wrote about the reasons I was due for one.  All evening Master had been perfectly pleasant to me, except for the hint every now and then that Uma (the smiley paddle) was going to get me.  
This might have been funny except that it wasn't.   I was dreading the whole thing, massively.   

I went to bed early, had a little nap, and was just about to get up again when Master came in and told me to stay in bed.   He went out.  I waited.  And waited. For over an hour I waited on the bed, not really moving, then I think I fell asleep again, and only woke up in time for him to tell me to put kids to bed and feed the dogs.  

After that was all done I came upstairs and he was already in bed.  I put my night time collar on and searched the drawer for the paddle.  I told him I couldn't find it.    He said I should come to bed anyway.

I didn't reply, but I was on edge as I walked to the bed.  

"Lie down here" he said.   And I did.    He seemed half asleep as he told me perhaps the punishment could wait another night.   I said nothing, but was thinking fast, my brain spinning those words round and round.  Another 24 hours of waiting.  Please no.  Get it done and be done with it.  But I didn't say anything.

"That would be really cruel, wouldn't it?" he said.   His voice had a really frighteningly dangerous softness.   I felt his touch on my back, and I tensed as if a pan of hot oil was poised over me.   

"Making you wait a whole nother day, another day of dreading, that would be cruel, wouldn't it.  Slave."

"Yes, Master".   I was close to tears already.

"Lie on your stomach."   Now I knew.  He wasn't going to put it off, he was playing with me.   Yes, the little mousie runs between the cat's paws.  For now.

WHAP!   The paddle came down hard.   An unsteady rhythm of hard blows, then he had me put a pillow under my hips for a better angle.   More hard blows.  Then he gave me the talk, why I was being punished, did I think I deserved it (yes) and how I would do better in the future.   Another rain of hard blows.  It hurt.  A lot.

Then "You are forgiven".   

My heart was full of gratitude, and another emotion that I can't name, relief perhaps.  No, that's not it exactly either.  There was relief, and gratitude, and something else... overwhelming love.  I curled up next to him and tried to sleep.  

I guess I'd had too many naps though, because an hour later I was still lying there.  I started to get up and he woke immediately with 

"What are you doing?"

I asked if I could go downstairs because I couldn't sleep and he said yes.  So, here I am with my tea, uncomfortable in my chair, but all right with my Master, and waiting to get sleepy again. 


Getting in Trouble

I did not mean to get in trouble, I really did not.  I am heartily sorry for my failure to be prompt and quick, but I still do not know exactly what happened.  

 I was supposed to fetch the second kid from school and bring him to the dentist.  Master was already at the dentist with the first kid.   I left there with what seemed like plenty of time, and didn't get back for 45 minutes. We were really, really late for the appointment.
  Master said the school is only 5 minutes from the dentist.  And I may have waited 5-10 minutes for school to get out rather than interrupt and get him out of class, because I thought it would not make a difference.   Somehow it took so long that both the dentist and Master became worried about me, and since she was harassing him every few minutes with "Where are they?  I thought they'd be here by now?" by the time I got back Master was furious.   First he quietly berated me in the office, then he said he'd drop it for now but there would be my ass to pay later.  
Ugh.   I was miserable.  I don't know where the time went and I swore I had taken no detours or side trips.  There was some traffic, but no parades or anything holding me up.

Last night he was too tired to do anything to me, but he's most likely going to punish me tonight. 

All About the Degradation of the slave

 To get the full flavor of this writing, the auditory component is critical.  Please listen if you get the chance:

Down In the River

Oh Death 

Thursday was a play day for all three of us again.  It had been a long time since we had that kind of time together, due to various life reasons for Master and Mystique (not me, my schedule is always clearable). 

It started before she arrived with Master wanting me at his feet.   He told me to get my collar, cuffs and something sexy on.   I picked out a turquoise silk slip, and returned to his feet.   

He said he wanted his toenails trimmed so he could stick them in my cunt without scratching me.  So I got out the clippers and did his nails, which were huge and scary and scratchy.  I really did them well with lots of filing, so that when he had me lie on my back on the floor, legs open, and he his stuck his toes all up in my crotch, it didn't hurt all that much.  Toes are still considerably rougher than fingers. 

This seems more sick and twisted writing about it than it did actually doing it, but whatever.

I mentioned that I needed to go to pee and asked if he wanted me to go outside.  He said only if I were on a leash.   He then snapped one of the leather dog leashes to my collar, not even my own chain leash that the dogs don't use, and led me out into the yard.   We do live in pretty secluded place, with trees all around.  

He pointed to the ground and told me to pee right there.   I squatted awkwardly, instantly feeling the humiliation he desired to see washing over me.   I peed on the ground, and just as I was finishing he kicked me, knocking me off balance, and I partially fell.     He took his turn then, just barely missing me and my silk chemise.  

Mystique arrived a few minutes later, looking lovely as always.   I tried not to bounce with excitement too much.  After I had served her coffee, Master told me to kneel at his feet and tell her what I was hoping for, which gave me an acute attack of embarrassment.

   I told her I hoped she had brought her cock (strap on). And then Master pushed me for more, and made me describe exactly what I hoped to have done to me with that item.    I squirmed and blushed, kneeling there on the floor, but finally managed to get it out.  I'm so much more easily embarrassed in person than I am behind the safety of the computer screen.

He then ordered me to go change into the corset and the crinoline I had worn to our wedding.  They fit again- I have lost some weight- maybe not as nicely as they did back when I was 21, but I was pleased that I could get into the corset at all.   

Then he took pictures. 

To me the collar and cuffs make an odd contrast to the old fashioned look, but oh well, I just do as I am told. 

We had some bluegrass/gospel music playing, so that set a certain mood.

 Little House on the Prairie meets Deliverance, I'd say.

There was amazing fucking and sucking, and both at once, and swapping holes between my mouth and cunt for both of them.   I was primarily bent over the arm of the couch.  Mystique beat my feet, which she made me turn soles up and hold that way, while at the same time Master fucked me.   He also wanted to try a little flogging from her, but though he said it was ok, and it was just soft and not anything painful, he said it really didn't excite him.   I just think it is interesting that he wanted to try it.

I tried to convince him, in a moment of painful enthusiasm (insanity) that he really should let her try the cane.  Especially on his inner thighs. That is when it really gets good, I said.  He declined.       

For me, the softness is just ok also, but as it got harder, and on my tender feet, and then Master switched to my mouth, and she went at me harder, sometimes hitting me right between the cheeks and on my cunt, well, when it really starts to hurt is when it gets exciting.  She used the whip on me, and shortly had me begging to come, but I was told no, I had to wait.  There is something about a whip.  The more it stung me all over, over my ass, between my legs,  my back, the more desperate I got for an orgasm.  Still just no, though.  Just wait, slave, I was told. 

They both took turns using some kind of slapper on me (leather maybe? I didn't see it), which hurt and left me with pretty bruises.   Also there was quite a bit of punching.

I couldn't see what was going on, having my head in a couch cushion most of the time,  and a few times I got scared and tried to fight, when Master would say things like "Oh no, this is going to be bad" in that tone he has, meaning bad for me but fun for him.  

I especially got scared of the fire when I heard the click of the lighter, imagining my whole crinoline going up in flames.  I should have figured they had it well out of the way of the fire, but I couldn't see, I didn't know, and it scared me.  They made me hold still and take it anyway.  And I felt the heat, but I didn't go up in flames.  

Master was telling me various humiliating things throughout this time, and most of them I don't remember.  The ones I do remember I don't want to share.   

Then he told me he was going to fuck my ass, made me beg him for that.  And I did.  He kindly went to get some lube for me.

"Isn't he nice?" I asked Mystique dreamily as she took my cunt again while we waited for him to return.  

She went and got the camera, and as he entered my ass she pulled my head up by the hair to get some shots of my pained expressions. 

I don't think anyone needs to see that though.  

It only hurt just at the beginning this time- the couch arm being the perfect position for me to take it up the duff.   

Meanwhile Mystique had that clampy clothespin thing, which she uses to pin her jewelry while she makes it.  She had earlier clamped it to my cunt lips for a while, and Master rhapsodized about how he'd like to sew those lips shut sometime.  

Just for a day or so.  

Just to see. 

Eeek, is what I say.

 She put it on my nipple, which hurt when it was smacked, then she told me to stick out my tongue.  I obeyed, and she clamped it there.   Within a few seconds I was ready to give up the keys to the kingdom, or whatever I was being tortured for.  Damn that hurt!   I drooled.  When asked questions I mumbled around the clothespin and drooled some more.  Tears were starting to form when she removed it.  

 Meanwhile, Master thrust in and out of my butt, faster then slower, a feeling so powerful, so painful, both of them humiliating me at the same time.  I finally cried, but he kept on going, for a long time, before he stopped and told me to lie on the floor so he could spray cum on me.  I find this super hot and kind of degrading, especially the wanton feelings it evokes, of how badly I want so see him cum, lying there all exposed, mouth open to perhaps catch some on my tongue.  It makes me feel like a total dirty slut.  And I love it.  


Thursday, September 26, 2013

They say...

They say you should try to learn something every day.

Today I learned that a clampy-clothespin type thing hurts way more on the tongue than it does on the bits or the nipples. Plus, you drool and can't talk, which is sure to be entertaining for someone... else.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Yes Master

He asked me a question last night, something fairly ordinary, and I responded with a casual "Uh huh".   

Instantly he closed the gap between us and took my throat in his hand, his eyes were serious.

"You will say 'Yes, Master'".  

"Yes, Master".  

Another reminder of my place never hurts.   Until it does hurt, that is.  

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

What to do?

I didn't ask if I could masturbate today.

This morning he gave me a little taste of everything.  He had about 10 minutes to flog me, whip me, stick his cock briefly in my mouth and cunt and then to stand on first my cunt (I squirted on his slipper. Heh)  and then my throat.  I am intensely grateful that he used his 10 spare minutes to give me this attention, leaves me... um.... well, totally sexed up.   

Yesterday he said I could masturbate only after spending at least 4 hours pressure washing the deck.  It was cool here.  The well water is cold.   After that many hours holding the pulsing, vibrating pressure washer slightly stooped over in a cold mist, every muscle I had was cold and sore.   
  I was totally focused on my task and concentrated on the fact that I was doing it for my Master, because he wanted it done, and no other reason. 
 In the back of my mind was the thought, ruthlessly repressed until it all broke free last night,  that I was getting this beloved spot all spruced up so someone will see it and want to buy it.    

How many hours have I sat on that shady deck watching the kids play, watching the dogs play, watching the sheep graze in the field.  How many birthday parties, picnics and regular cookouts have we held on that deck?    The thought of leaving hurts my heart.     

When I had completed four hours of washing (and no where near done- I'm going to have to do it again today) I tried for a hot soak in the tub and the water would only get lukewarm.  

It was not as pleasant as I was hoping.   

Then the kids got home and it was time to make dinner.  So, no, I never quite got around to that self pleasuring.

Late at night I was tormenting myself with the silly thoughts that come to over tired slaves.  He thought he'd be nice to me by just letting me go to bed.  Nice isn't always nice though.  After he had dragged my problems out of me (by ruthlessly staring at me until I fessed up)  he paddled me and fucked me hard, which was oh so delicious.    It was what I wanted/needed but was too glum to ask for. 

The best part, though, was when he tipped my head back using my hair as a handle so I had to look into his eyes.   He told me how important to him it is that I do these tasks.  The same goes for doing research for him, he told me firmly, and telling him my opinions when he asks for them.  He told me I am his slave, his property, and when he needs me to do these things, they are important and he knows I will do them because they are for him.    Including giving my input, even when I am afraid and it is hard for me.  

(some drivel about touchy feely mushy slaveheart was redacted to save my readers' sanity)  

But I never asked about today.  He didn't say the same rule applied about the deck/playing with my vibrator. 


I guess I'm just going to assume that work comes before play.

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Slutty Slut Slut

Just a quick opinion question for you:

Kissing my girlfriend in front of the auto repair store.  

Town scandal or no big deal?

A Good Morning for Buttsex

My head bobbed on his cock, all the way down, all the way up, a few tongue licks, then swirls, then down again.  


The smooth cupped paddle found my ass.  He had turned me at the just the right angle so he could hit me as I sucked.  


I moaned and tried to match his beating rhythm with my head bobbing.   

More whaps on the backs of my thighs and ass.  Up high, down low, then over and over in the same spot, harder and harder to bear until I began to sob.

"Are you crying?"  

"Mmhm" I mumbled around his dick.

WHAP! WHAP! and so on until my butt was thoroughly bruised.

He pulled me over on top of him; he stuck his finger in my pussy and told me to cum.  I squirted all over his t shirt, soaking it, soaking everything.   I know he loves that, although he tells me how much of a mess I have made.

He told me to pass him the lube from his bedside table.   He slipped his lubed finger into my ass, and ohhh, it is hurty but still amazing.  He pumped it in and out, making me come over and over again until my legs were trembling.  Then he had me go get the magic wand.  I walked unsteadily as I went to fetch it from the drawer.  Again, his finger delved into my ass, this time with a furious amount of vibration on my clit.  I came without his command,  squirting all over him.  Then he kept me coming, one orgasm after the other, maybe 5 more times, until he told me to turn off the vibrator.   Limp like a ragdoll, I was pulled into his desired position.

While he fucked me he told me I had a choice (he even said he does this just because he knows how I hate having to make the choice).

Did I want buttsex or to finish him with my mouth?  It was no real difficult contest, I chose the buttsex.  I knew it would hurt.  That's why I like it, hmmmm?  Hey, don't ask me to make sense.

He told me to get in position, then as he entered I started to squeak.  He told me to bite the pillow.  I did, I bit the fuck out that pillow.   It was so hard, staying still, not fighting him, trying to breathe in and out calmly, my face full of pillow.   It always hurts so much for the first few minutes, but then like a miracle, the muscles ease up and I'm bucking back into him, feeling utterly destroyed, taken, used, but totally wanton and loving it. 

I may be a slave, a slut and a wanton whore, 
but he has a poopdick :).  

Saturday, September 21, 2013

New Whip

A few weeks ago I posted this:

At The Hardware Store

Yesterday I finally got a chance to make the whip, since Master fixed the computer to make it play videos again.  

It was fun and easy to make, and here is the finished product:

It cracks like a champion- that class Master and I attended on whips at Tryst really paid off.   I spent quite a bit of time out in the yard with it yesterday making cracking noises, scaring the dogs (they hate that sound) and taking leaves off the lilac bush.  I hit myself accidentally with it a few times- I had a bit of a mark up the side of my face that faded.

Master tried it out on me this morning, just (relatively) gently because the bedroom is a bit too small for full out swinging.   But if he threw it underhanded it hit me just right.    I have a few little red stripes, but no major damage, and no broken nik naks!   He says the accuracy is good- it went where he aimed just about every time.  

Now on my list of things to ask Master if I can buy is this:   

Whip it towels

Aren't they cute?

Friday, September 20, 2013

Perfect Submission

There have been a few posts here and there recently about what perfect submission looks like.  I know, I know, none of the real people I know have this elusive thing called perfect submission all the time.  The realists don't even aspire to have it.   

I'm not a believer in perfection, really, for anything.   

But every now and then I think of what perfect submission would look like to me.  Even more rarely, I feel that I have achieved it for a brief moment. 

Here is a moment from my morning.   

I woke up horny.  It was 5 am, and all I could think about was wanting him.  I lay next to him for an hour since I'm not allowed to wake him up.   When the alarm went off I reached over and snuggled up to his back.  
In a minute or so he told me to get up and make his breakfast, since he wanted another half an hour of sleep.   

"Yes, Master".   There was no begging, no pouting, no moan of wishing and wanting.  All those things flashed through my head in an instant, but the next second the only thing I wished for was for him to have that extra sleep, and to get things ready for him.  

I got up and made breakfast, got the older kid off to school and everything was ready when Master came downstairs.   

That's as close as it gets for me.  

Thursday, September 19, 2013


From last weekend...


Last night was difficult for me.

I should have known it was going to be when I was passing the bathroom and he called me in there, had me kneel and practice a new position for him while he was on the throne.

Then he sent me off to our room to wait.   

When he came in I was in position, kneeling, head down, arms up above my head and wrists together.   Without saying anything he tied  my wrists, then pulled me up and had me get in bed.   He told me he was going to make me wait for an orgasm, for long time, perhaps I would not get one at all.  Perhaps he would just have a blowjob and go to bed.

I have mentioned that orgasm denial is not my kink, right?   I'm sure of it.  Anyway... this is his show.   

I had just started to suck when he told me to go get a paddle.  I hurried over, picked out Uma, the smiley paddle, and hurried back.   With my hands tied and leaning over him, I could not get balance or leverage and every strike of the paddle put me further off my blow job giving game.  He began to berate and humiliate me for the poor job I was doing and I wanted to say... well... I wanted to say a lot that I'm afraid was not entirely polite or respectful, but I didn't.  Don't talk with your mouth full, and all that.   

I tried harder, and he paddled harder. 

He rolled me to my side and fucked my face.  This was easier on me, although still not to his satisfaction.  At all.  Which he let me know.   He untied me, had me get the Hitachi and get on top of him.  I was close to coming, without turning the wand on, but he told me to wait.  He used the paddle on my breasts and hips, and put the wand on my clit.  He untied my hands and tied this crazy looking tie around my neck.  He pulled me up close to him by my leash, which made it near impossible to avoid coming.  

But I waited.  

  He asked me if I was close.  

 "Yes, Master, can I?"

"Can you what?"

"Can I come, please Master?"


"Please, Master?"


He told me to turn it off, and take a deep breath.  The feeling of being on the brink faded.   

This was repeated several times, then he began beating one breast with the paddle until I broke and cried.   

He turned me over and fucked me from behind.  When he orgasmed, he told me to come. 

I couldn't.  I just fucking couldn't.  Overwhelmed with  failure and frustration I sobbed into my pillow.   He was disappointed.  I knew it.  He was hoping for a big finale and I failed to produce it.   

He rolled me onto my back and slapped my face repeatedly before telling me to come again.  This time I did, and hard.  Forever in fact. 

 Ok, not forever, but he kept giving me the command and I kept coming.  And crying.  And coming.   Perhaps it was forever.  

It must not have been forever though, because sometime later I came out of the trance and cleaned up all the toys/blankets/messy towels  so we could go to sleep. 

Wednesday, September 18, 2013


We stood in the hallway, simply chatting with a group, when Master for some reason (does he need a reason?) told Scott he could smack my boob.  It is dangerous being surrounded by sadists.   Master held my arms behind my back (what, I'm going to run away?  I was backed into a corner of the hallway already).  I think he just likes restraining me.  

Scott raised his arm with a look of utter glee and smacked the heck out of my right breast- just once.  I still have the outline of his fingers there, faintly, but still there. 

Then Master said to Sassy "Symmetry is important, why don't you do the other one?"   Scott took hold of one of my arms, and she did a hard smack. Then she got a tip from Scott on how to smack someone harder and more often without making your hand hurt (sadists sharing tips- very scary!)So she did it again, harder this time.  I still have a bit of bruise from that also.

The worst (best?) part is after the knee weakening pain faded, the good pain came in, and I felt this big old smile spreading across my face. For some reason this is faintly embarrassing when it is pointed out to me that I'm enjoying it. 

Master smacked me a few times then, just for fun, before someone helpfully (!) got out the road rash paddle, made from stair tread with a handle, and he smacked my ass with that a bunch, first lightly and then working up to worse and worse.   It is an arm saving toy, because it causes a lot of hurt with little effort.

Later in the evening, it was time to play on the cross.  He tied my arms, with me facing the cross, and began to flog me.  For some reason, and this happens sometimes, we did not feel in synch.  Every blow either felt too soft or too hard. 

 I wasn't reacting the way he wanted at all and he paused several times to ask me if I just wanted to go to bed.   This made me very upset, because I couldn't stand the thought that he wasn't enjoying himself and wanted to quit.  Even worse was the thought that he'd only do it for me.  I wanted this so badly.    I started crying, and couldn't get the words out to explain why.   When he asked again if I wanted to stop I begged him to keep going.  He said he wasn't going to hit me again unless I stopped sobbing. (Messed up masochist logic going on here, eh?).  I got myself under control and he used the cane,  and the leather slapper on me, and the synching up was starting to happen.   When he used the wooden paddle I started a little bit of the good kind of soft sobbing.

  It was feeling really good when he untied me and took me down.  I begged him to use the whip on me. 

He made me stand up against the wall on my tippy toes and began  whipping.   Yum!   Every time my feet started to lower to be flat on the ground he hauled me up on tip toes again by the nipples until I figured out (duh) that he wanted me to stay on tip toes.   He turned me around and did the front too, although much softer than the back.  Until he whipped my cunt.  It is impossible to do that soft enough. Ouch!

Then he led me over to the couch (I hadn't realized we had an audience) and after checking to make sure it was ok, pushed my head down into kaya's lap and made me raise up my ass so he could whack it some more.  At this point I'm not sure anymore what he was using, the whip or something else, but it was all around wonderful and painful.  Then he told me to cum, and that is when I goo'd on the carpet (blush).   See the picture below for my approximate position.   

I expect a prettily crocheted marker there saying "Ksst's Goo Spot" next time we visit.

Also, I am absolutely positive Master asked if he should get me a towel first, before making me come, and kaya said "No, it will be fine" so it is all HER fault.  :P  

Demo by Scott

Saturday night we had an awesome time!  There is so much to write and it is so hard to know which details to take out or leave in.

Kaya said after being gagged with Scott's fingers ("Imagine this is a cock") and choked nearly out the rest of their scene was a blank.  To fill in that blank- 

First he had her on her knees in the center of the garage.  There was a little crowd gathered at one side to watch.  Some watchers had taken up more comfy spots on the dog beds (these were the dogs' actual beds).  

He undid her handcuffs and explained the signal she had given for "These are hurting in a bad way" which I certainly missed, as it was subtle, but they have an intricate and beautiful dance of communication which is fascinating.  He explained that it was still up to him if he wanted to be a bastard and leave them on a bit longer, but he chose to take them off for her.   

Scott put on vampire gloves and ran his hands up and down her body.  It looked tender and soothing, but vampire gloves have spikes, sharp spikes, sticking out.  I'm not sure how painful/ scratchy that was.  I know from experience it depends on how much pressure is applied if it feels like a nice back scratch or a lot of sharp owie things running over your skin.  But when he started spanking her there was immediately blood in pinpricks all over her butt.   There was little doubt how that felt.

That didn't last long, before he went and got the so-called "attitude adjuster" paddle and spanked her with that.  There was more blood smeared around everywhere. 

He also used a single tail on her, either before or after the vampire gloves (my dang fuzzy brain).  It was after the handcuffs were off.

During the whole breath play demo (I call it a demo because the whole time Scott was talking to the audience about what he was doing and why he was doing it, and what signal kaya gave to let him know- "Hey, I'm panicking here!") my Master was standing behind me, alternating between squeezing me by the base of my jaw, which is the safer way to do a choke-like hold, wrapping his arm around my neck in a sleeper hold, or just pinching off my nose and mouth with one hand.   This makes my eyes fade out, so I didn't really see all of everything.  I was mainly thinking about not being able to breathe, and how wet that made me.    

Oh, and my take-away message from this demo?   The way to solve the problem of gagging while deep throating is to declare it not a problem but a bonus feature and simply gag all over the place.  Good to know I'm doing it right! 

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Sunday Morning Whores and Prayers From the Wicked

Warning:  If you are a devout anything you will probably be offended by this blog.

I was going to finish writing up Saturday night's activities, but Master wanted me to skip ahead and write this, and he's the boss. 

Sunday morning dawned bright and early (well, rainy, windy and early) with a giant cat brushing against my hand and then leaping on to the bed next to my head.   Kitty (Dracula is his name) then curled up next to my feet and we both went to back to sleep.  
I woke a short time later and listened for signs that the house was stirring.  When I was sure that people were up, I got up, showered, got dressed in a long skirt and blouse and went to the kitchen to search for coffee.   Scott pointed me to the cups and I began to revive somewhat to a state of  somewhat less zombiefiedness.   

A bit later Master came to the kitchen and told me, while shaking his head disapprovingly, that I was wearing way too many clothes. 

 I had my apron on, for helping with breakfast.  
 I removed everything but the apron.   

Kaya made sausage gravy while I worked on some biscuits, then when it was all ready she asked if they wanted to eat by the TV or at the table.   Scott told SassyMistressV she should choose, and she said we should all sit down for a meal together.   

We sat at the table.  Master and I were holding hands.  Then Scott and Sassy were holding hands, and beckoning Kaya into the circle.  Scott asked my Master to say the blessing.  I was somewhat startled, not really knowing the religious inclinations (or not) of everyone present, but Master, like the Methodist preacher's son that he is, launched into the exact sort of prayer that his dad would say, has said, at many meals.  With a twist.

With bowed head, I listened.

"We thank you God, for what we are about to receive, for this food, and these friends, and the hot kinky sex and the fantastic fucking that we have had and for that which will soon commence.  O Lord, we give thanks to you.  Amen." 

Some may have looked around for the lightening bolt to strike, but I feel God has a sense of humor.  I mean, just look at us.

Then Master, to be all inclusively blasphemous, said in Arabic the Muslim dedication to the faith, which I do not know by heart and thus cannot write for you here.   I don't think he knows the Arabic for "hot kinky sex", but with him, I wouldn't be too sure of that.

It was all delicious, and soon enough we had finished digesting enough that it was time to play again.  

Master had promised Sassy an hour with me, of whatever she wanted to do to me, and then they thought it would be fun if I were to blow him at the same time as she was beating me.   I got my blanket to kneel on (to protect the carpet), and got between his legs as he sat back on the couch.  

She started slowly, and I'm not going to remember everything in order, that is too much to ask, besides I did not see all the implements, but whatever it was (cat toy?  lunge whip?) felt nice and swishy.  There were floggers, both the butter soft deer hide called "Heaven" and the plastic wire or spline flogger called "Hell".  She alternated in a most delicious manner between the soft and the stingy, then switched to wooden paddles.   Those make me jump about, twitch, shift my feet, try to avoid the pain, whine, yip and finally sob.   I don't know what it is, but they are special that way.   I did all of that while she ordered me back into position repeatedly.  Now I was standing bent over, but I could not do it straight, there was far too much shifting about of my feet.  

Meanwhile I was being gagged and choked and periodically held down on Master's cock until I couldn't breathe, then allowed up to gag some more.   

Then I began laughing.  Laughing with his cock in my mouth.  Laughing as she ordered me to stand correctly and be still.  Laughing as if the whole world were one big joke as the paddle stung my ass and made me sob/laugh/gag on cock.   

It was brilliant. 

Behind me I heard Sassy begin to whale on kaya, who was providing the same service to Scott that I was doing for Master.  Master ordered me to go watch.  I straightened up, wiping my bleary face and stumbled over until I could get a good view.   

After checking with Scott, Master ordered me down on my back, under kaya, ordered me to lick her.  Complicated emotions ran through me.  Excitement being number one.  But also:

"Is this ok? Will she like this?  Scott says yes, it works for him, but what will she think?"  
Yeah, that stuff matters to me, a lot.  Does it matter to the men?  Not much, I guess.   But I didn't have time for those questions, I only had time to obey.  

I slid underneath and did my best to arouse and please.  I could tell I was doing ok when she began to tremble and beg Scott to allow her to come.  God, that was hot.  
 Meanwhile, Master slid into me, fucked me and Sassy beat my outer thighs with a wooden paddle.  This left the biggest bruise of all and hurt so bad I begged her to stop.   

"No! Don't! Stop!" evidently means "No, don't stop!" in some languages.   

At some point I overheard Sassy dubbing this the "Sunday Morning Whores" show.   When she wished there was a boy to beat, my Master told her she could hit him with the soft flogger, and she did, as he was still fucking me.   And he liked it!  Of course, that deer hide flogger feels GOOD, I don't care who you are!   

I couldn't really see anything, with my view entirely blocked by lovely cunt, but I could hear.  

We switched around again so Scott could take her doggie style, and again I was shoved underneath, so now I had the up close and personal porn style angle on the fucking.  Woah.  Never done that before!  Besides, the hairs on his balls totally tickled my nose when I went in for some more cunt eating.   Kaya was laughing at something Sassy said, and that started me in laughing again, especially with my nose getting tickled.  Cumming, laughing, cumming.  Oh yeah. 

There were hands all over.  I had to ask Master later whose hands were where, just out of curiosity, because even when Sassy was ordering me to open my eyes (I guess I had shut them) all I could see was super hi-def intercourse.  

Master fucked me some more in that new position.  It felt so good!  I had a different man's hand on each boob, twisting and pulling.  I couldn't tell which was which- they were both strong, hard and pain inducing. 

I have no idea how many orgasms we had between us, but there were a BUNCH.   I love listening to Kaya beg to cum. Love it!  

When it was all done I lay, puddlified, for a long time on the floor next to Master.   I asked to be allowed to get a shower eventually, but my legs were so wobbly I gave up the idea of walking and began crawling to the bathroom.  Master half carried me and showered with me, to make sure I wouldn't fall.  Isn't that sweet?  

We really should do this more often, ya know?      

Sunday morning whores, indeed.

Just Read "Under His Hand"

Kaya saved me the trouble of writing a post about Saturday's further events, by doing such a great one on her blog, so you can just read about that here:


Just kidding.  I wouldn't be here if I didn't like to write about debauchery so much.   

The triple topping scene was AMAZING.  I cry if someone looks at me in a mean way, so her holding on and not crying for so long, with them going after her that way, well, I nearly cried.   But it was also very hot to watch, because of the intensity, the sadistic joy, and her responses, which were so obedient even under all that.  

They were not kidding when they told her "We're going to fuck your shit up".  

At one point I was sitting there, happy and secure on the couch, and Scott walked over, loomed over really, with "that look" and said to me:

"Ten minutes."

I think I said "Huh?"

He said "I could make you safeword in 10 minutes".  

Fuck.  I was ready to "red out" right then, and I said as much.

I think kaya was laughing at me.  

"She's ready to safeword just looking at you", she told him.

Yeah.  Someday we might play that way.  It just depends on my Master and what he thinks about it.    

I'm kind of in to the whole fear-play thing.  Shhh, don't tell anyone. 



Monday, September 16, 2013

Let's Start With Some Hot Wax in the Twat

I'll just say having hot paraffin poured into one's cunt, or ass, HURTS.  And then it cools.  And then you shift positions slightly, say because Master is saying "Spread those legs", and the hot center of the wax blob comes pouring down into new crevices, and soon I am begging for a spritz of cold water, which sometimes I get and sometimes not. 

Other than that though, the experience of lying on a mat with a group of lovely naked ladies and having several people drip on the hot wax is very fun, messy, and erotic in hot, wet, splattery ways. 

After the waxing came the unwaxing, and that stuff was EVERYWHERE.  In my hair, my ears, in every orifice.  I peeled off a bra-shaped layer from my chest.  A funny little cone came from my belly button.

SOMEONE, ahem, (cough. Scott. cough) helpfully brought my Master a short sword to help with the dewaxing process. 

 "Bend over and hold still.  This is sharp", is not entirely reassuring. 

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Home again

We made it there and back with a minimum of fuss, and had a fabulous time.   Perhaps I'll write more later, but I'm buzzing around on leftover-happiness from all the fun, and not much into stringing entire posts together tonight.  

I do have to say that the pictures that were taken of Master and I being watched by a slightly annoyed but mostly indifferent cat were some of the funniest things ever.

Saturday, September 14, 2013

It is the DAY!

It is the day of our trip, and I'm deliriously excited.  I can't wait to see everyone again and watch/participate in the shenanigans.  Several people have plans with me, in addition to playing with Master.  

Last night I had been given the order to be pushy, in fact to be the aggressive one.  To "pounce" on him, he said.  I don't think I quite managed pushy or aggressive in bed, but when he told me to get in bed I presented him with a wicked cane, one made from a miniblind rod.   It has edges to it.   

 He said  "You're not going to like that one, but I guess you have the others already packed?"  His favorite cane was already packed, but it was right there in a bag by the dresser.  I could have gotten it for him.   But he said pushy, and I suppose picking the second most wicked cane he has is my way of being that.

 He said, "Ah, well, on the bed".    I lay face down and he warmed me up, then gave me some hard swats, then some stroking of my sore butt, which was exquisitely sensitive and which made me moan and squirm.   He gave me more little taps interspersed with hard strokes, and more stroking with his fingertips.  It was a wonderful experience and why I love canes so much.  

He gave me some practice on the new orgasm command while he fucked me.  I'm not sure I'm allowed to say what it is, so for now it will be a secret.  He said too many of our friends knew the old command, "Iowa", and were using it against me.   It was funny to him at first, but then he got tired of it eventually.   He deprogrammed that particular command.  

Overall, I'm now feeling much better about life and everything.   The technique I was talking about in a post a few days ago, Dealing with fear through submission,  seems to be working.  I no longer feel like I'm holding my breath, or in a half panicked state, or feel like I'm going to cry anytime I look at our place or he mentions moving to me.  I feel like whatever happens, I can cope, and I can find the beauty in life.  

Also, our niece had a surgery this week for something that might have been cancer, but IT'S NOT.  So I'm just incredibly happy and grateful about that.  She is 18 years old.  

Friday, September 13, 2013

Busy Day

I've had a busy day, cleaning the house, doing laundry, working in the yard and harvesting from the garden, shopping, baking pie and in general getting ready for our trip tomorrow.  

Yesterday was filled with job interviewing, so Master and I did not get our normal playdate, but since I came with him we did get to spend all day together.  We also carved out 45 minutes or so before the interview for a light caning and sex.   

It is a good thing, too, because dang, I NEEDED it.   

I still am wanton and wanting. 

It is a "no masturbation" day again today. 

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Dealing With Fear Through Submission

I read something on the internet today that was actually really helpful, unlike most of the stuff I read on Fetlife which is either entertainment or drama.

This person talked about coming from place of fear, panic even, and dealing with it through submission.   I began to think of past examples of fears I had, and how I dealt with them only through submission.   I came at it with an attitude of "I WILL do this because he orders it, fears be damned" and once I got through it I realize it wasn't that bad after all.   Some people will say this is trust, a trust fall.  But in the moment it often doesn't feel like trust at all.   It feels like simply submitting, for better or for worse. 

The part that really struck me, from my own experiences, is that doing this feels strong. It is a conquering feeling.   It is a kind of submission that brings with it strength and confidence rather than weakness and doubt.

So I am resolving to face this day with a fear conquering submission.  It is not that I hadn't already submitted to Master's will.  I had.  It was my attitude of dread of that submission, dread of consequences, that I think has been throwing me into these downward spirals of despair.   For now, I will think more on the submission itself, and the fears be damned.   For better or for worse.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

A Moment

It only takes a moment. 

 This morning as I went about my routines of straightening up the kitchen and getting ready to sweep the floor, Master called me over to the kitchen table where he was using the computer.   The kids had left for school; we were alone.  

"Come here, slave".  He beckoned, and held me close.  He asked me what was wrong, why I looked so sad.   He already knew what it was and I agreed with him.   I'm afraid of the uncertainty. 

 Then he told me to get naked and lie on the floor, show him my cunt.   I did this and he admired the way it was already swollen, open and wet.  Then he had me get up and stand beside him so he could fondle and spank me as he worked.   I enjoyed being his distraction, his plaything.  He made me cum until juices were running down my thighs into my house slippers.   Yeah, I wear house slippers, not high heels, around the house, what do you think this is, fantasy land? 

He stood and made me kneel.  He pressed my face into his crotch so I could feel him hard against my cheek through his pants.   Then it was time for him to leave for work, but I was thankful for this moment of connection with him. 

Monday, September 9, 2013

Going up Nort!

So, my exciting news is that next weekend we are going to visit Scott and kaya:


We have a sitter for the weekend for the kids, and are going to go and have fun and do horrible kinky stuff!  I mean fun kinky stuff!  And make biscuits! 

But today, I have to clean house and go buy some supplies at the hardware store.  Who knows what "spline" is without looking it up?    

Holding My Breath

I feel like I'm living while holding my breath.  I know, it's no way to live and I should find some other way to be, but I don't know how.

Master is leaving his job at the end of the month and almost certainly we'll have to relocate.   Sooner or later, he's not sure.  

When I go outside and look at all the places I love, things we have built or nurtured: the garden, the fences, the land itself, the trees, the barns in the process of being re-roofed, the grave markers of generations of beloved dogs,  even the scraggly grass I feel sick to my stomach at the thought of not having it anymore.  I don't know how I managed to get so attached to a place. 

Yesterday I cleaned out the guest room, boxed up some stuff, threw away or bagged up a bunch of other stuff to donate.   Then I sat and stared at the walls I painted a few years ago, now knowing that I'd be starting all over again with someone elses crappy house trying to redo it to suit us.  

I promise my next blog will be happier, because I do have some good news too. 

Saturday, September 7, 2013

Thursday Play

A picture of the hard strap. Master was comparing the marks to the item that made them.   This is my least favorite toy, except perhaps for the radio antenna that is rarely, rarely used.    He snaps the strap on me like a wet towel rather than just bringing it straight down for a slap.   However, by the time he used it on me on Thursday I was so spaced out it merely felt a little stingy.  I might have said "ow" a couple times.  

The morning started with Master going to PT for his shoulder.  He got both needles and e-stim!   But said it wasn't all that bad.  Mostly.  I think at one point he considered trying a safe word on the therapist.  

He came home in the mood to seriously fuck me! Yay!  

We started with sex/hitachi/multiple orgasms for me.  Then moved downstairs so he could watch porn and have me suck him off.  I normally make it last a good long time, for maximum pleasure, so when he said "If you can make me cum before this ends (a minute or two from the end of the segment, I think) I'll give you a special reward",   I think he was surprised that I did it, especially when he was trying to hold back.  

It's not like I've never done it before.  Master. Sir.  

My "special reward" was getting tied to the rafters and flogged, then whipped, beat with the leather paddle and lastly the hard strap.  He untied me and helped to the bed, where he caned me until my blisters had blisters.   You can't see them much in the picture there, but I could definitely feel them.   It was painful, agonizing bliss.

Afterward he asked me "How long do you think I spent just on the caning?"  I thought it felt like 10 minutes, but I knew I always lose some time, so I doubled it and guessed 20 minutes.  

"Nope.  Forty minutes", he said.

Tempus fugit.

We snuggled for a while, until I was able to think and walk again, then had a shower together.   In there he motioned to me to kneel down, he took me by the hair, tilted my head back, and pissed on my breasts.   Warm, smelly piss.  But his piss.   I'm his.  When I don't know anything else, I know that. 


Friday, September 6, 2013

Cure for Insomnia

Master has given his notice at work and will be gone at the end of this month. Which will probably mean we will have to move.  It may even mean he will move somewhere else temporarily while I stay here with the kids and try to sell the farm (this scares the hell out of me).   I can't even tell you how depressed and scared I am by this whole thing.  I don't want to move.  I love it here, I have always felt it is my dream house. I love the countryside.  Our kids have all their friends here, and it will totally suck for them to move somewhere new, especially the older one who doesn't make friends as easily.   I have a whole support system in this town that will be gone.

Plus, the animals.  I don't know if we will find a place to be able keep them all.   I don't know anything.   But hell, we do what we have to do, right?   We'll survive, just like we always do, and whatever happens I know I will still be his. 

Wednesday night we were both exhausted and depressed about this, but though we tried to go to bed early, sleep was not happening.    We talked for a while, about what is going to happen, and he reassured me and held me, said we'd be ok.    Still, no sleep was coming.   

Finally he said, well, there is only one thing to do then, let's fuck.   We did, and he finished up by fucking me in my ass, leaving me well used and making the much needed sleep come in a welcoming blanket for both of us.  

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Some of Master's Thoughts

Hearing your whimpers
Knowing it hurts and doing it anyway
Because it feels good
To me.

I will never leave you
Because I own you.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

At the Hardware Store

Master said I could buy materials and make him this:  

How To Make a bullwhip 

 So I took my list down to Frank's local hardware store,  and asked the nice young man to help me find everything.  After we had collected most of the stuff in the cart, another worker stopped, looked and said "You must be making something".  

I said "Yes." and didn't elaborate.   My brain was working furiously: what am I making? what am I making--- something that is not a whip!!?   

But it didn't come up with anything.  Bad brain! No biscuit!  
So I just hope he'll take the hint and leave.

Nope, no luck.  "So, what are you making?" he asks.  Damn friendly people.

"A whip." I say.

"A whip?" he says.

"Yes, a whip."  I say, grinning.

"Ohhhhhhhh".  And he wanders off.  Meanwhile both the young man who was helping me and I have turned bright red.   We finish up the list without looking at each other, and I pay and scoot out of there, trying to pretend that of course a whip is something everyone needs.  You never know when those sled dogs are going to get out of line, eh?   

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

When Desires Collide

Labor Day we were up sorta early, having our morning romp.  It was  one of those times when I was really craving MORE.  Not more sex, that part was perfect, but more pain with the sex.  Afterward I asked for a spanking and he said no, it was time for me to make his breakfast.  So of course that is what I did.   We had from scratch biscuits and sausages.

 We worked outside scraping, sanding and painting the barn in the afternoon, then went out to dinner.   Some friends came over in the evening and we talked mostly home repairs but also a little bit about kink.  

Then Master had some work to do on the computer, something that was frustrating and irritating him, so I stayed well clear, so as not to disturb him, doing the laundry, putting kids to bed and cleaning- in general making myself scarce.

Late, late at night he declared it bedtime, told me to get in bed, and told me how irritated and frustrated he was.   I asked if I should wait for him (meaning kneeling on the floor as is routine) but he said no, he'd just be tempted to beat me then.   I looked at the floor, twisting my foot, hands clasped, feeling quite small, and said "I wouldn't mind if you did.  Please, Master?" 

He was already directing me to my spot by the dresser and getting out the cane.   

It. Felt. So. Good.   

When I went to bed and massaged my stinging butt, I could feel the ripples of cane strokes on my flesh.  My inner thighs were soaked.  

Though it was hard to sleep for some reason (someone may have slipped caffeine into my decaf with dinner) I was content.

   Morning came really, really early.  First day of school, racing around to get everyone ready, not even thinking about sex or beatings, and then the kicker:   

Master says "No masturbating today". 

 I hadn't even considered or thought about it once before that, but after he said DON'T all I can think about is how I'm not doing it.   About how my cunt would really love a little pat, or a big orgasm, or two, and it is not happening.   

Of course, that was entirely his purpose.      

Just a little update

I'm still doing the weight watchers program, and am down a total of 6 lbs, 4 of which of course were the first week.   I am fitting into...