Saturday, September 25, 2021

Spirit Tea

 My Master told me how he wanted to receive offerings. Ancestors and other relatives, right? He was my husband. He died yesterday. I made him a first cup of spirit tea this morning at 1 am. I said "I brought your tea, Master. " My heart screamed in agony. I brought your tea, Master, I repeated, then I cried, and I sat down at the table with it and I told him the things I needed to tell him about his death and his family. Then I am drinking the tea. He told me I could do these things to communicate afterward, in a letter he wrote to be opened at his passing, and also told me himself when he was alive. It's a gift to know what he wanted.

My Master

 My Master was released from suffering yesterday, September 24, 2021. Cancer is a cruel disease that no one should experience. He died at home surrounded by his family. He was my world, my everything, my true love, my heart, my Master.


Sunset and evening star,

And one clear call for me!

And may there be no moaning of the bar,

When I put out to sea,


But such a tide as moving seems asleep,

Too full for sound and foam,

When that which drew from out the boundless deep

Turns again home.


Twilight and evening bell,

And after that the dark!

And may there be no sadness of farewell,

When I embark;


For tho' from out our bourne of Time and Place

The flood may bear me far,

I hope to see my Pilot face to face

When I have crost the bar.


--Tennyson


If you believe in a higher power, your prayers are welcome. If not, then think good thoughts for us and hug your loved ones. Do a kindness for someone for no reason.


If you believe dogs go to heaven, then believe that my Master has had a mighty joyful welcoming committee right now, headed up by Puppy Jack, announced by Gwen, and all tears licked away by Sprite and Hank and the other dogs we have loved through many years.


My Master lives forever in my heart and memories. My heart is breaking right now for myself and for our kids who have to go on without him. This was not in our plans, there's not going to be a tragic blimp accident that would allow us to die together. I untied my leash from the bed post last night and held the handle in my own hand.


"Run and Find out!"


-- Rikki Tikki Tavi


The mongoose motto was also my Master's motto when he was young, and he has run ahead to find out.

Wednesday, September 15, 2021

How it is going.

 My Master is in the hospital, for jaundice and dehydration, and liver infection.  They are doing supportive care with fluids and antibiotics but nothing can be done about the cancer which is the main problem causing all the rest.  I hope he is coming home today.

Oh, and I have a job.  So that's new.  


It's been three years

  It's been three years, which seems both like a lifetime and a blink of an eye.  I still feel the heavy weight of the unfairness that a...