TMI Tuesday: Hairless and Sexless

 1. If your chest is hairless would you have a chest hair transplant?

That's funny, because no I don't want chest hair.  I prefer less chest hair for men too.  

2. Are you the center of attention at parties?

No, I'm pretty introverted.

3. What libido-boosting foods do you believe in and use?

I don't believe in this.  I think heavy foods can make  people too loggy to be interested, but just eat lightly if you want to have sex later.   Unless it's chocolate.  Chocolate definitely boosts libido.  Bring me all the chocolates. 

4. Do you ever get tired of talking about sex?

Yes, I'm totally tired of writing and thinking about sex.  My mojo is gone.  

5. How do you think your attitude toward sex differs from your partner’s attitude?

Currently without partner.  

Sad Anniversary

 Today is a sad anniversay:  one year since my Master died.  It is currently 7:02 am, which was the time when he died too.  Not the official time, that had to wait until the coroner got to our house and did the official call around 7:30.  But it was the real time he took his last breath.  I was there holding his hand, telling him I loved him, having been unable to sleep anywhere but in the chair beside his bed (we had a hospice bed brought in and placed in the living room).   

My theoretically good idea was that we would take shifts of being with him at nights- my mom and his dad and me.  I tried to sleep in my bed when it was my turn to sleep, but I couldn't. So I ended up downstairs sleeping in the chair anyway.  My mom woke up early that morning (like 2 am) to keep me company.  She dozed off on the couch and I in the chair after a while.  My Master was getting more medicine at least every two hours and sometimes more often, to keep the pain under control.  He wasn't really responding much to anyone or anything the last two days of his life- his body was shutting down everything.   

There are still sometimes when I look at his picture, or think I hear his voice, that I'm sure he can't really be gone for good.  I think he might just be on a trip and coming home soon, although I know that's not true.  I just don't always want to accept it.  

Support

 I finally found a grief support group to join.  There wasn't much in person going on, and then the group I found is still at a church.  I was trying to avoid church groups because I feel like I can't be my authentic self there without the old patronizing "We'll pray for you... subtext... to stop being such a slut/heathen/hedonist..." 

But, anyway, my desire for going to a meeting like this eventually outweighed my fear of revealing too much and such.  I can still pray in my own ways.  I certainly am not buying into a different religion just by showing up there.   

In my small town, there just don't seem to be other options.  Anyway, I've been to two meetings and they both went well.   See, I don't really believe in Heaven and Hell, or the devil, or sin, or Jesus (as anyone other than a wise man from history).