Monday, September 24, 2018

TMI Tuesday

1. How do you and your loved one connect?

Usually with snuggling or with sex.

2. When did you last make a mistake and were okay with that mistake?

I hit my head on the sun visor (again!) yesterday trying to get into the car.  I think it's funny though, as it doesn't really hurt.  I always forget to fold it up.

3. What are you just not seeing?

The point of Republicans.

4. If you could spend ten minutes with your hero alive or dead what would you ask them?

I can't really think of anything.

5. Who in your life do you wish you’d met sooner?

Yes, Travis and Wolfmoon.

Bonus: Have you ever won a medal for a sports activity? What sexual activity are you sure to win the gold?

I did. In high school one year I got an MVP medal on my soccer team.  I was a full back, and specialized in running people down and stealing back the ball when they were making a break for our goal.  Some people say I was a bit too aggressive and got in a few too many shin kickings instead of ball kickings.  Hey, that's what shin guards are for!

I don't know about a gold medal, but I should at least get a gold star for cock sucking!

Friday, September 21, 2018


How do you handle it? Say, if it is caused by general situations in the world which are hard to fix, and certainly not by one person overnight, not by specific people in your life that you can talk to?

Answer:    Scrubbing is a vital part of the process. I also decided that FB was causing me to be riled up more than necessary and I need to stay off of it. Ugh, FB junkie, though. 

Some retreat from people.  Rather than retreat from people, I found it helpful to get out and see some of my friends. Luckily they are easy to find during the day playing Pokemon- the stay at home moms, the work from home-ers, the flexibly scheduled, and the people who work night shift are my Pokemon buddies. It's a completely different context to the one that was upsetting me, so that was good.

But to even get that far I had to scrub the bathrooms, vacuum the house and work on the first step:  accepting emotions.

 I have my own process for this, which I sometimes forget to do, but when I'm reminded to do it it really works for me. It involves sleepy hedgehogs, which are prickly and yet adorable. I got the idea from this book I read Come As You Are.

Anyway, once I had the bathrooms, vacuuming and the acceptance part done, I started on the dishes and talking to my Higher Power. At first I was afraid. I don't have a normal religion, but I have a Higher Power and the scary thing is that sometimes when I pray I get an answer. I was afraid of what the answer would be. But I kept scrubbing until I felt like I had the right question and prayer, and then I asked. And I got an answer, which was amazing and beautiful and yet frightening. It was just two words "Free will."

I did not find anything out of the ordinary to do for anyone else, although most of my day and my evening are all about service, that is ordinary for me, that is what I do every day and I couldn't think of anything extra to do. Maybe something will come to me. I did go for a walk with my dog when it stopped raining. Then I made dinner and it was all good.  I also concentrated on thinking of things for which I am grateful.

I talked to my Master, late at night, maybe not the best time to discuss angry feelings, but the time we had when he wasn't busy reading things on the computer.   I told him my plans for violent revenge, which were scaring me.  He treated them like normal thoughts anyone might have, which made me see them for what they really are: vengeance fantasies, not plans.  They are much less frightening that way.

Wednesday, September 19, 2018

Now I Have to Wash My Pillow

I feel like I should warn you that there is a law in M/s relationships that not everyone knows about.  

No matter whose pillow it was before the fun started, once it is soaking wet that pillow definitely is the slave's pillow and the dry one is Master's.  

Tuesday, September 18, 2018

KOTW: Sex Workers

Just to provide fair warning, this one is fiction.

Master and I met our usual Pokemon group at a raid this afternoon. After a few hours of playing we ended up in a remote corner of a park with just one other person looking for rare Pokemon.   Master had gotten into a discussion of other rare Pokemon they had each captured with this one guy that we see all the time.  He's not bad looking, and he always smells nice, the other guy, practically a stranger.  I don't know his name, only his in-game name.   They wandered up ahead of me while I stopped to catch a couple of Magikarps.

I don't know what they were discussing but the other guy kept looking back at me with eyebrows raised and a rather surprised look on his face.  I wondered what that was all about. 

I rounded another bend in the trail and the two men were waiting for me to catch up.   My Master immediately told me to kneel down and kiss his foot.  I quickly looked at him, alarmed, but he nodded and looked serious so I did it.  The other guy made a noise of astonishment.  

Master told me to get up and follow the other man back to his car.  He told me he had traded my "services" up to and including anything that was wanted, except for anal sex, to his new friend for that shiny Groudon, a legendary Pokemon that he'd always wanted.  The friend commented that he had two of them, otherwise there would have been no way to make a deal.  

I began following the friend back to his car, and about halfway there he slowed down to walk next to me, putting his arm around my waist.  I felt very awkward, but I refused to let myself pull away, after all, this was my Master's orders.   His hand slid down to my butt, and gave a little squeeze.  Instead of awkward, I began to feel a tingling bit of turned on.  By the time his hand went down between my thighs there was a full on gush happening.

We reached his car, and he got into the driver's side.  I got in the passenger's.  He unzipped his jeans and smiled at me, nodding downwards.   I fell into my accustomed position, head in his lap, and got to work.  He smelled good there too.   He put his hand on the back of my head.   His head lolled back against the headrest of the seat and he muttered "I can't believe this is happening.  You are so good."    I would have smiled if my mouth hadn't been busy.  Instead I increased my effort and enthusiasm in an effort to be most pleasing.  He leaned back even further, relaxing into the enjoyment and making appreciative groans.  I rubbed my thighs together, my own excitement feeding off of his, as it does.  He didn't know my signal for wanting to come.  He didn't know I needed the command to be able to come.  He didn't know there was a command to come.  So I didn't.   Very soon he had released into my mouth with a great groan of happiness, and I sat up, smiling shyly and wiping my lips.

"You are a good girl.  Your Master should be very proud", was all he said to me as he got out of the car to make the game trade he had promised.


Monday, September 17, 2018

TMI Tuesday

1. Which animal listed below represents your true sexual self?
a. Chipmunk – cute and cuddly
b. Monkey – all about being mischievousness
c. Tiger – I’ve earned my stripes

I would like to be that tiger, but probably really the chipmunk.
2. Your partner is in the mood for sexy fun and you are tired – what do you do?
a. Start snoring. There is no way I’m giving it up tonight.
b. Trade. You give me a massage… and we will see…
c. That would never happen!

What, there is no option for d. whatever he wants, that's what happens?
3. Which of these sexual descriptive labels closely matches you?
a. Dominant
b. Submissive
c. Top
d. Bottom
e. Switch
f. Kinkster

b. submissive and slave

4. Would you rather have your enemy eaten by a shark or die in an earthquake getting swallowed up by earth?

Well, a shark has to eat. I have sympathy for sharks.
5. For the next year, would you rather be dressed like a mime every day OR look normal but not be allowed to talk?

Look normal and not talk. 
Bonus: What’s the most beautiful word in the world?

Eclair. I mean, look at it:

Sunday, September 16, 2018


I'm feeling much more like myself now.  Master and I went to a party last night, and he gave me a long flogging which turned to whipping, caning and tire tread paddling and then fucking in the dungeon (they are very sex-friendly).  It was amazing, wonderful, brilliant!  I let go of everything, the worries and fear of pain and all that bad stuff.  I came multiple times on command during the whipping, caning and paddling part and then even more with the sex.  My Master said I not only looked happy to be enjoying it but I looked happy to be happily enjoying it, which was exactly the case.

I wasn't sure I was going to write about Thursday night but now that it is days ago and I feel better I guess I will.  We stayed out late that night (well, I guess 8 pm is late for a week day) looking for Pokemon and walking around the city.

When it got to be bedtime I had a terrific headache.  I took some medicine but it didn't help.  Master wanted to have sex so of course we did, but I didn't feel good at all at first, especially in the head down, ass up blow job position all the ache was rushing to my head.  By the middle of it I was feeling slightly better, being on my back.  He let me use the vibrator while he thrust in and out of my mouth and I nearly got to orgasm but at the last second he flipped me over and the feeling was gone.  As soon as he came the headache came rushing back with a vengeance and I wasn't interested in even asking to try to have an orgasm.  But I also couldn't sleep very well. 

I woke up feeling actually a bit horny.     It helps that I get off mentally on being used as a sex object without regard for my feelings or pleasure even when I don't get off physically.   We didn't have sex again until Saturday night at the dungeon, although Master teased me a bit before we left by taking me by the hair and putting me on my knees in our bedroom.

Saturday morning I did a three mile walk for raising money for a charity, then walked a bunch more with my Pokemon game trying to hatch some eggs (7 km per egg!).

So between that extra long walk and the heavy beating last night I'm feeling quite tired and sore today, but contentedly fuzzy in my brain.  


Wednesday, September 12, 2018

Flagging Libido

I don't really know how to handle this yet.  I have gone from the insatiable sex fiend to really just not wanting it after my whole kidney stone ordeal.  I don't feel turned on all day.  I look at sexy pictures on fetlife out of habit and I don't feel like masturbating.  My third vibrator in 6 months broke and I don't want another one.  I don't feel like doing anything kinky.  I don't want a beating.  

Perhaps I am normal.  Maybe this is a good change as I don't feel a constant wanting and longing.   But I also feel a great sadness about not having that horny feeling anymore.  I worry that my Master will be unhappy with me.  He really liked the super slutty me.  

Is this a temporary dip?  Will it go back?  Is this the end of sex blogging for me?   Maybe I just need more time for my innards to settle down?

Since Friday we have had sex four times, which is almost every day.   I enjoy it for the feeling of being of service to my Master.  I enjoy being wanted.  I enjoy pleasing him, but I feel like if he hadn't wanted to any of those times I would have been just as happy to snuggle up in his arms and be petted.  

TMI Tuesday

1. How do you and your loved one connect? Usually with snuggling or with sex. 2. When did you last make a mistake and were okay with that...