TMI Tuesday

 Would you rather: 

Have sex with someone who never showers or someone who never brushes their teeth?

If those are the only options then c. never have sex again.  GROSS.

Only have sex in the shower for the rest of your life or only have sex on the floor for the rest of your life?

Shower sex is VERY difficult and not that fun.  Floor sex, on the other hand, can be really good.

Cry every time you had sex or burp every time someone kissed you?

The first one is actually kinda hot, so I'd pick that.  

Find out the last person you had sex with was your long lost cousin or that the person you last had sex with was a brutal serial killer?

Probably cousin.  Definitely cousin.  I don't want anything to do with serial killers. 

Bonus: Would you rather always say what you are thinking or never be able to speak again?

Always say what I am thinking.  Although, that sounds pretty bad too. 

TMI Tuesday Ifs, Ands and Butts

 If, Ands, and Butts

1. If you had a magic beauty wand, what would you give yourself?

a. Shinier hair, hands down.

b. Glowing, soft skin–pass the moisturizer dude.

c. Brighter eyes, with no crows feet—I want to look less tired.

d. Nada. I love what I’ve got.

I think I would do C, if it will remove under eye sag.  I think my hair and skin are ok. 

2. If you were spring cleaning your life what five things would you throw out?

All these dead appliances.  I'm sure there are five of them.  

3. If money were no object, what kind of house would you buy?

It would be a lot like this one, a farmhouse, but with a better kitchen and new siding, and a few other updates and improvements.  The stairs wouldn't be so narrow and twisted (we had to take most of our furniture upstairs in through a window).  Oh, and it would have a secret door that leads to a dungeon, soundproof. 

4. Have you ever visited an erotic massage parlor AND had a “happy ending”?  

Nope. 

Zappy

 I was down on my knees begging like an eager puppy, at least in my mind that was how I felt.   As he deliberately unbuckled his belt and lowered his zipper, my mouth began to water in anticipation.  

I leaned forward to just touch my lips to it and 

ZAP

 I got the jolt of static shock right on my lip.  I figured he must have felt it too and I apologized.  He was smiling when he said it hurt me more than it hurt him.  This time as I leaned in I made sure to touch the side of his thigh with my hand first.   

"ZAP!"  There was a jolt but no shock, this time the jolt was just him wiggling his dick with his hand and saying ZAP to me.   I instantly jumped back as if I really had been shocked, but then I was laughing too much to do anything else.  

Would You Rather?

 "Breathe or orgasm?" he demanded in a low menace. 

My lungs and mind were screaming out "Breathe! Breathe now!" but I couldn't say anything out loud because he held my mouth and nose closed and captive.  I was riding his cock.  The vibrator buzzed against my clit and my body was on the verge of orgasm, but just at that moment, which seemed endless, it was the urgent need to breathe that captivated my attention.  He took his hand away and I gulped in for just one breath before he blocked my airways again.   In a few minutes it would be time for orgasm, but now it was only time to think of breathing.  

TMI Tuesday, or what the heck day is it today?

 1. When was the last time you tried something new?

I was complaining about how boring I find grocery shopping, and my kid challenged me to try something new each time I go there, so that is my new thing of the past few weeks.  The latest thing I tried was some prepared Indian soups- spinach I did not like, but the dal is really good if I add some cumin and pepper.  It was a little to mildly spiced for me.  It makes just one bowl- good for a lunch.  

2. Who do you sometimes compare yourself to?

Not really anyone.  Or maybe everyone. I try not to do this.  

3. What gets you excited about life?

Breathing.  Even when it is so cold I don't want to go for an actual walk out in nature, I can still go for a walk in my mind and breathe in the natural scents and strengths of the world.  Breathe in, breathe out.  

4. Are you satisfied with your work?

Hmm, not really.  

5. What have people most often praised you for?

Pie. Biscuits. Sex. 

Bonus: When you think of your home, what immediately comes to mind?

All the dogs that live here.  

How Exciting Is This?

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Red Light Green Light

 There is a new game Master has.  It starts with a green light, and I can use my hand or my mouth or both to please him.  Then there is a red light call and I have to stop, just for a second, and then I get a green light.  He has a porno on telling me what to do.  It's like this:  Red Light Green Light.

This is what we did for lunch today, until he wanted to fuck me.