Squirming Internally and Externally

Yesterday Master and I had another date.  This one was a rescheduled tryst from the week before when Master had been sick so we had to put it off.  

We visited Dr. Peter at his house, and we had a nice chat and lunch before the cruel Dominants stripped me and did horrible and unspeakable (which I fully intend to tell all about) things to me, by which I really mean we had a really fun afternoon.  In truth, I'm still mentally processing all of this, perhaps because it had been a while since I experienced this level of intensity, or I was unusually sensitive yesterday, so I'm just not sure how I feel about the whole thing.  My mind is confused.  In order to ground myself, I have this mantra, lifted from the book SlaveCraft which says "Did I obey my Master? If the answer is yes, then I am ok.  And the answer is yes."  
He was very pleased with me, additionally, so that makes me happy.   However, I was awake what seemed like most of the night with my back feeling like it was on fire, worse than a bad sunburn, too hurty to sleep, and wondering why I thought it was a good idea to do this.  Ok, it seemed really hot at the time, but in bed at night, I just had all sorts of other thinky thoughts.   The thinky thoughts circled back around to accepting and embracing the pain, and reminding myself that I obeyed and therefore I really am ok.  Today my back is feeling better, and my thoughts are evening out. I kind of need a nap though.

The first thing that happened Tuesday after Master stripped my clothes off was that I knelt on the little bench at the foot of the bed.  I heard Master exclaiming about a whip that Dr. Peter has, then he began lashing it across my back.  I clamped my legs tightly together, because it's not so fun when the whip gets me there!  Not that clamping together prevents it completely.

Dr. Peter took over and began to lightly slap me all over with a leather paddle for warm up.  He used several canes, the Smoked Dragon and the Whangee and I think some other ones,  which hurt rather a lot. My body seemed sensitive, or just canes are hurty.  I was making too much noise, so Master took my soaked panties and crammed them in my mouth.  At least once he took them out, stuffed them into my pussy to get them re-soaked and then back in my mouth.  This helped with the noise problem, but not with my squirming around.  For that, Master held my wrists tight.   There were several internal squirm moments when Master was humiliating me.  I find that so hot, and yet I squirm. 

There was fucking and blowjobs at the end of the beating and cutting with knives, and swabbing those cuts with alcohol, and the cleaning off of the blood.  

Then we went in the other room to have a cup of tea.  

 I started saying something, standing beside the table, and Master commanded "Down on your knees while you are talking to us".  More internal squirming happiness.   I dropped to my knees, totally forgot what I was trying to say, and Master pushed my head to the floor.  He placed his foot on my back and pressed down.  The cuts on my back ached but I felt unusually contented.   When he got done with what he was saying (Vishnu?), he told me to crawl back to the bedroom and get my clothes on.  I did this, across the hard linoleum of the kitchen, then a strip of hall carpet to the bedroom.  I put my clothes on, except for the soaked panties which went into my purse.   I peeked back out of the door and asked if I should crawl back, which was going to be much harder with a long skirt on, but he said no, I was ok now to walk.   I walked back, sat gingerly on my chair and drank my tea.  They were having a deep discussion about politics and all the things going wrong in the world, but I was pretty much fuzzy headed and out of it for the rest of the day.