Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Crabby Ass Slave

 I was one crabby ass slave this morning.  I tried to get on with service as normal and not be objectionably grumpy, but I know Master knew about my mood.  

It started last night when I had a headache and went to lie down, then fell asleep for over an hour.  When I got up we watched some TV and Master told me he wasn't going to do anything to me, probably, so not to get all worked up.  Then sometime in there he changed his mind and took me to bed, caned me really well and then had me give him a blowjob.  Well, thanks to that making me extremely horny, and also having had that nap, I couldn't sleep at all.  I tossed and turned.  I kept Master awake until he said if I didn't quit I'd have to go to the couch.  So after that I lay perfectly still but didn't sleep.  Images of sex and sexy things kept floating into my brain. As soon as I pushed them out images of hanging myself, or cutting myself, stabby images, horrifying images, came floating in and then I'd push them out and try to think of neutral, boring things which would then turn into sex again.  And so on.  

I woke up before the alarm went off at 6:30, tired and still a bit stabby, trying to be at least reasonable if not cheerful.  I made strawberry pancakes and sausages.

Master took the younger kid to school and then told me to rub his feet while he played on the computer.  It was somewhat soothing to me, being made to just kneel on the floor and rub and rub.  I couldn't even tell if I was still very horny (I was) or just really grumpy.  I was pretty sure that my becoming a slave had been a mistake.  I can't do this.  What was I thinking?  I'm no good at this.  Even as I was soothed by being allowed to rub his feet these thoughts were storming around my head.   I wondered if I should tell him, but then decided they were only passing thoughts brought on my bad mood and I'd feel better later, or tomorrow.  I decided not to say anything.

 Eventually he told me to fetch all the floggers, a rope and the gag from upstairs.  He asked me if I was going to be such a crabby ass as to ruin all his fun. I shrugged noncommittally.  Yeah, that is some good slaving, there!

He took me to the basement, gagged me, tied my hands to a beam and looped a sash around my neck to pull, and flogged me hard.  It wasn't the most painful beating, floggers rarely are, but it was plenty humiliating with the drool and also totally hot just being tied to the post.  He tormented my poor nipples with his hands after flogging them.

Then he untied me, led me upstairs and fucked and humiliated me.  Eventually I cried. We stopped and talked things over because it wasn't a good kind of crying.  Then fucked some more.  Now I'm sore and all fucked out, but my mood is peaceful again.   


10 comments:

  1. Well, glad you got that all settled...funny how that works...well maybe not funny, but amazing.
    hugs abby

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    Replies
    1. Yes, I'm glad it ended this way instead of the way I nearly grumped my way out of a playtime!

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  2. Sometimes, there just has to be that impetus to break the mood and get whatever the heck it is, out and in the open.

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  3. The fact that you can go through the motions even no matter what your head is doing says a lot. And that you have the mindset that you will be soothed by rubbing his feet - says a lot about where your heart is.

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    Replies
    1. It is kind of (or very much, maybe) grounding for me.

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  4. Sometimes just finding the quiet head space is such a relief to the chaotic noise that goes on with too much thinking - glad he was able to provide that for you.

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    Replies
    1. Yes, I think the quiet head space started as soon as he began to tie my wrists. Before that I was kind of a chaos-minded one!

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  5. I hope to someday be a owned slave and married to Him someday

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