Tuesday, July 5, 2016

Changes in Feelings about Kneeling

 A request by "N. Likes" from the kneeling post:

I'd be really interested to hear more of your thoughts about the process by which the taboo and humiliation dissolved - both your initial experience of them, and how you feel about them now.

I remember very few specific instances, but right in the beginning of starting a D/s dynamic with my Master, there were times when he would tell me to kneel and it brought out a lot of emotions for me.  
I felt it deeply.  It wasn't something that came easily or naturally.  I was not one of those people who had dreamed of the day I could kneel at a Master's feet.  Not at all.   I obeyed him: I can't remember ever refusing, but it felt awkward, a bit taboo, and fairly humiliating.  All that together combined in my mind to make it arousing as heck.  

It didn't take long, probably less than 10-20 times, before it felt natural to me, kneeling at his feet any time.  
There was even one time when we were at a munch and I said something a bit out of line, I don't remember what, and he ordered me to kneel and kiss his feet.  It wasn't a punishment, really, more of a reminder of my place.  I did it without thinking, instantly, but then afterward I was self conscious about what other people around may have thought.   Not that it makes any difference.  But I wondered.

Now, I can't think of any place that gives more comfort and relaxation that being ordered to kneel at his feet.  It is a spot of security, almost one of pride.  My place.

1 comment:

  1. I love kneeling. At first i thot i would feel embarrassed but i never did. These days i dont do it as much as we dont have too much freedom of space but i managed a few minutes yesterday and oh how ive missed it!

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