Friday, June 2, 2017

Incompatibilities or Differences?

Some differences are small, but some are major and can lead to people deciding they are incompatible.  How does your relationship look? What differences are there? What incompatibilities can be overcome and how?

We are similar in a lot of ways: background, politics, sense of humor, activity levels

 *Inequalities of sexual tastes/sex drive?*
Depends what year you are talking about.  We both have changed a lot.

    *Different musical tastes?*
We started out pretty similar, in that I adopted his tastes completely.  Then I started listening to country music and he hates it.  So I just listen when he's not around. 

    *Different sleeping habits?*

I'm more of a morning person than he is, but he has to get up early for work, so we are only different on weekends, and it is really no big deal.  If he wanted me to lie in bed until he was ready to get up I'd have a hard time, but he doesn't.

    *Different parenting styles?*

If it were just me there would have been a lot less video games, but eh, not a big deal also.

We are similar in a lot of ways: background, politics, sense of humor, activity levels.

 *Inequalities of sexual tastes/sex drive?*

Depends what year you are talking about.  We both have changed a lot.  Right now I'm a bit higher, but in past years he was much more driven than me and I was quite blase toward sex.  We have lucked out in finding some heavy overlap in what sorts of kinky stuff we like to do.  It's not 100%, but he's the Master, so we do what he wants.  Sometimes he lets me play with others, also, so I can do the few things that he isn't super into.

    *Living style (one likes TV on, the other hates background noise; one likes minimalist, the other is a hoarder; one likes country, the other is a city girl; one likes cats and the other doesn't trust cats etc)*

My Master doesn't really care where he lives.  Everything else is more important to him (like his job), so he let me pick a house in the country so I could have sheep and more dogs.

    *Different hobbies and interests? (one likes hunting and ones likes shopping, one likes clubbing and one likes gardening, or one has a narrow interest the other doesn't share)*

We share some hobbies, but I do a lot of dog training stuff and he doesn't.  I'm the trainer and he's the vet, so it really is complementary.  Although he became a vet after we were together, in part because I was planning on getting a lot of animals.  He likes computer games and I don't much, although I did try one of his.

    *Physical appearance (one wants long hair and the other short etc, one is a nail biter and the other likes long nails, one likes clean-shaven while the other prefers not to shave)?*

It wouldn't matter if we had different preferences, because I follow his.

*2. Do you tolerate the incompatibilities with your partner, and if so is it for them, or because of your dynamic that you are willing to do so?*

I think we are compatible because none of the differences we have are a big deal or a problem for us. 

*3. Do you compromise on your incompatibilities, for example leaving certain things unregulated?*

If it is important to him, then he gets his way. If is isn't, then I may have some room to do what I want.

*4. Do you try to ignore your incompatibilities and focus on areas of compatibility?*

He finds my differences interesting.  I don't think we need to be exactly alike to be compatible. If we were too much alike, then we wouldn't be having any M/s or D/s relationship because we'd both want the D/M or the s side. 

*5. Or do your incompatibilities cause arguments which make it hard to keep your dynamic/relationship healthy?*

No, we don't argue about any of this.  He's the Master, so he gets what he wants.

*6. What position do you take: do you generally advise that M/s or D/s couples with incompatibilities should stay together and fulfill their promises/commitment to each other ("Here, I do what I agreed to do and we do everything His/Her way"), or in your experience is perfect or key-area compatibility essential to make it work ("Sounds like you two are simply incompatible")?*

It really depends on the issue.  It is possible to get over a lot of issues if you really want to be together.  If the relationship is on the rocks anyway, all the issues are magnified.  Solutions have to be tailored to the people involved, which means THEY have to work it out


  1. I'm an NDE.
    Wanna hear about it?
    Let this be your catalyst to Seventh-Heaven:

    'The more you shall honor Me,
    the more I shall bless you'
    -the Infant Jesus of Prague
    (<- Czech Republic, next to Russia)

    Love him or leave him...
    better lissen to the Don:
    if you deny o'er-the-Hillary's evil,
    which most whorizontalites do,
    you cannot deny Hellfire
    which YOU send YOURSELF to.

    Yes, earthling, I was an NDE:
    the sights were beyond extreme.
    Choose Jesus.
    You'll be most happy you did.
    God bless your indelible soul.

    1. I think you are a bit weird. No thanks on the Jesus.


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