Anger

How do you handle it? Say, if it is caused by general situations in the world which are hard to fix, and certainly not by one person overnight, not by specific people in your life that you can talk to?

Answer:    Scrubbing is a vital part of the process. I also decided that FB was causing me to be riled up more than necessary and I need to stay off of it. Ugh, FB junkie, though. 

Some retreat from people.  Rather than retreat from people, I found it helpful to get out and see some of my friends. Luckily they are easy to find during the day playing Pokemon- the stay at home moms, the work from home-ers, the flexibly scheduled, and the people who work night shift are my Pokemon buddies. It's a completely different context to the one that was upsetting me, so that was good.

But to even get that far I had to scrub the bathrooms, vacuum the house and work on the first step:  accepting emotions.

 I have my own process for this, which I sometimes forget to do, but when I'm reminded to do it it really works for me. It involves sleepy hedgehogs, which are prickly and yet adorable. I got the idea from this book I read Come As You Are.

Anyway, once I had the bathrooms, vacuuming and the acceptance part done, I started on the dishes and talking to my Higher Power. At first I was afraid. I don't have a normal religion, but I have a Higher Power and the scary thing is that sometimes when I pray I get an answer. I was afraid of what the answer would be. But I kept scrubbing until I felt like I had the right question and prayer, and then I asked. And I got an answer, which was amazing and beautiful and yet frightening. It was just two words "Free will."

I did not find anything out of the ordinary to do for anyone else, although most of my day and my evening are all about service, that is ordinary for me, that is what I do every day and I couldn't think of anything extra to do. Maybe something will come to me. I did go for a walk with my dog when it stopped raining. Then I made dinner and it was all good.  I also concentrated on thinking of things for which I am grateful.

I talked to my Master, late at night, maybe not the best time to discuss angry feelings, but the time we had when he wasn't busy reading things on the computer.   I told him my plans for violent revenge, which were scaring me.  He treated them like normal thoughts anyone might have, which made me see them for what they really are: vengeance fantasies, not plans.  They are much less frightening that way.