Monday, October 24, 2016

After Feelings

Feelings after giving a blowjob or quickie that leaves me feeling unbearably turned on still with no relief in sight:

1. Happiness! The first thing I feel is happiness at having pleased my Master.  There is a bit of pride there too.  I'm so happy to have served him well.  He's pleased with me.

2. Sadness.  Then I feel sad.  That's it for me then for the day or two. No more sex.  No beatings.  Sadness.  Also extreme horniness and frustration. And more sadness.

3. Guilt.  Then I feel guilty for being sad.  What kind of slave are you?  You suck at this (not in a good way).  What kind of bad slave feels sad when she doesn't get enough fucking?  (This one).  I am never going to get this being a slave thing right.

4. Peaceful.  I come to grips with my sadness, my happiness, my pride, and shove my guilt away.   I find my peaceful, patient mind.  

5.  Happiness.  I DID serve my Master and make him happy, and that is good enough. 

Why does this have to be so damn complicated? 


  1. It's those conversations we have with ourselves..happens to me all the time. But overall my usually nail this slavery thing..
    hugs abby

  2. I always got the impression that you were having sex like twice a day!

    1. Haha, nope. Only on exceptional days. That's just how often I WANT to have sex.


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