Feelings after giving a blowjob or quickie that leaves me feeling unbearably turned on still with no relief in sight:
1. Happiness! The first thing I feel is happiness at having pleased my Master. There is a bit of pride there too. I'm so happy to have served him well. He's pleased with me.
2. Sadness. Then I feel sad. That's it for me then for the day or two. No more sex. No beatings. Sadness. Also extreme horniness and frustration. And more sadness.
3. Guilt. Then I feel guilty for being sad. What kind of slave are you? You suck at this (not in a good way). What kind of bad slave feels sad when she doesn't get enough fucking? (This one). I am never going to get this being a slave thing right.
4. Peaceful. I come to grips with my sadness, my happiness, my pride, and shove my guilt away. I find my peaceful, patient mind.
5. Happiness. I DID serve my Master and make him happy, and that is good enough.
Why does this have to be so damn complicated?
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