Saturday, February 28, 2015

Describe The Dynamic Q/A

I "borrowed" these questions from someone who was asking people to describe their dynamic and how things work for them. 

1. Do you have agreed-upon rules and punishments for your behavior?

We do have rules which he made, and the punishments are not agreed upon.  He decides both the rules and what the punishments will be without my input.

2. How often are you punished for breaking a rule?

I rarely break a rule, but I am also punished for forgetting or not doing chores, so that happens maybe once every 2-3 months. 

3. If a time comes when you are no longer comfortable with some of the rules and/or punishments, because they are too painful, time-consuming, annoying, intrusive, controlling, etc. – would your m/ be open to changing the arrangement?

Unlikely.  I would never ask him to change those things unless there was some physical reason I couldn't do things that way any more.  He is lenient on me when I'm sick, and doesn't make me do every single thing during that time because he wants me to rest up and get better.

4. Does your m/ make all financial decisions?


5. Does your m/ determine how you dress?

He certainly can and does on occasions, but for a normal day he doesn't tell me what to wear. 

6. Does your m/ allow you to make decisions about how you spend your free time? (i.e., if you want to have a doctor’s appointment, girl’s night out, a job interview – do you tell or ask?)

For some things I would have to ask, for others I just do it.  It really depends on exactly what the activity was, because some I know are pre-approved and some are not.  Even if I wasn't required to ask, I would definitely tell him or possibly ask him anyway just for confirmation.

7. Do you work in a professional job?


8. Do you have children?


9. Do your children know about your relationship?

They know he's in charge, they do not know about it in Master/slave terms.  They know he tells me what to do.

10. When it comes to the children, who makes the important decisions about their health and safety (i.e. vaccination, diet, school, friends, after-school activities, doctor visits, medication if necessary, bedtime, punishments & rules for them, TV & video games, etc.)

He makes all those over all larger decisions.  For small things if he's not here, then I can make decisions- for example if they want to go to a friend's house and Master isn't home, I don't have to call him and ask him before saying yes or no.  I know his over all policy is to encourage the kids' social life so I always say yes unless we had prior plans. 

11. If you are not the one who has final say or a full 50/50 compromise ability to decide how the children are raised, how does it make you feel to know that you are not in control of key decisions regarding your children’s health, safety and well-being?

I know my Master is a good father, and will make the best decisions for the kids' well being that he can, so it doesn't bother me to leave a lot of that up to his opinions.  He does ask for my input on some things.

12. Does your m/ push you sexually when you are not interested, or are they considerate of your feelings?

I am his to use sexually whenever he wants.  My feelings are not always considered.  However, he's not interested in barfy or drippy nose sex, so if I'm sick he won't press it on me.  But if I'm just not in the mood?  I better get in the mood and quick!  Normally how it works is that I'm ready to go again before he's ready to use me- he'll often say "No, you're too sick" when I'm feeling better enough for some getting it on.  Again, it isn't my feeling that matters, it is his.

13. Does your m/ listen and respect you if you say “not tonight,” or “I don’t want that?”


14. If you were sick or tired, would your m/ respect your request for no sex/activity/etc?

Tired?  Not a good excuse.   Sick, he'd most likely give me a break, depending on how sick I was.

15. Does your m/type control the way you vote?

He definitely could, but so far he has not ordered me to vote a certain way.  We vote the same way anyway as we tend to agree on issues.

16. Does your m/ limit your interaction with friends and family via personal visits, phone, internet, etc, or are you allowed free rein?

There are some limits, but not onerous ones.

17. If you are in fact limited in your communications, how often?

I don't have to ask to call family members or close friends.  I would have to ask before calling/giving our contact info/meeting anyone new or going out to lunch or something with a friend (socially- does not include business contacts.)

18. Does your m/ limit his/her communications based on your needs/feelings?


19. What kinds of decisions do you make for the family unit, if any? (financial, groceries, savings, vacation locations, school issues, etc.)

I do all the grocery shopping.  He decides all those other issues.

20. Would you be comfortable if your child decided to enter a relationship like yours someday?

Yes, I would support what makes them happy as long as they are being as safe as reasonable.

21. What if you wanted to go back to school and your m/ said no. Would you acquiesce, or would you put your foot down and make it happen?

I don't get to put my foot down.  I would do whatever he wanted.

22. What if you wanted to work/stop working / change jobs and your m/ said no?

Again, I am his property and slave, and so he gets to tell me what to do.

23. What if you wanted to control your free time to allow yourself more time for photography, reading, friends, cooking classes, hiking, etc, and your m/ said no. Would you insist? If not, why?

I became a slave because giving up control makes me happy.  I would not want to change that, and anyway, I don't get to insist on anything.  He owns me.  I can ask, but he can say no and I deal with it.

24. Do you have goals for the future beyond serving your m? (i.e., obtaining an advanced degree, learning a new craft, etc.)

No, not really.  I kind of wish I had more ambition, but I'm pretty much all out at the moment.


  1. I love reading peoples' answers to these kinds of questions. And i love that you are so matter of fact and consistent, and clearly quite content, about your responses. My answers would be very different for some of these, he takes very much less control of me in some areas (esp kids, work, day to day mundane...). Sometimes I wonder what it would be like for him to want more in those areas. As you say about yourself,"I became a slave because giving up control makes me happy. I would not want to change that...," then i realize i'm probably not really built for that. We land in the gray area between M/s and D/s. Thank you for writing these.

  2. Like gg, i like these sort of things, dont know why!

    We are pretty similar to yourselves, although different in respect of the children, they are not his, and although of course he is active in their life, decisions regarding them are mine to make...but i will ask his advice/opinion.


  3. This was very learning more about others in blog land. We have fairly similar Masters and are all grown and on their own....but the rest is quite similar..
    hugs abby

    1. He read this and wanted to emphasize that especially in regard to the kids he's not entirely a dictator. We discuss everything and he's almost always willing to try ideas and solutions that I come up with. However, he did say that if we had a disagreement, he would have the final decision.


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