Yesterday evening I tried to lose my bad mood, lose myself really, in cooking. I made homemade pizzas with the chicken I had roasted. I went to the store and bought brownie mix and made those for dessert.
The pizzas were wonderful, although for something that took me two days to make (I did the crust the day before) they sure went fast. I take that as a sign of appreciation.
The younger child was throwing one fit after another about every single thing. Part of the problem is that he's incredibly empathetic so when I'm in a bad mood everything turns into a huge horrible big deal to him. Then Master got home and immediately started another big fight with him about the stupid cub scout event that the kid did not want to go today. The kid eventually won that one (he didn't go) but not until after there was much angriness and tears. I lost patience with all of it and retreated to hide in bed under the covers. Yes, spending a Friday night in bed alternating between crying and sleeping, hating myself and everyone else, is my idea of a good time (sarcasm), but it was honestly either that or grump around at everyone.
Master thought I didn't feel good so he left me alone. I thought he didn't care to be with me or even come see what was wrong with me so I had a major pout fest going besides the general misery. I considered running away from home several times, but my feet were freezing already, even with the electric blanket.
See, and you thought it was all sunshine and beatings in slavey-land. It's not. I suck sometimes, not in the fun way.
He finally came to bed at 10:30 and made me talk to him. We talked about all the things, for an hour, and I'm sure he will be exhausted from staying up too late.
Plus he has to work today when he had hoped and planned to have the day off.
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