Friday, July 7, 2017

Talking About Relatives

One of the great things about going to see my parents is catching up with my mom on all the family happenings.  She is the hub of news, so she always knows what there is to know.  There is usually more than can be covered in a phone call.

This time it was her sister again, who is unhappy in her marriage.  My uncle is some kind of vice president corporation big wig who has provided several mansions and maids and all that hoopla.  Now, however, he's home all the time, still working, but from home instead of going to work.  So, it is a lot more obvious about his faults to my aunts.  

My mom said "We all tried to warn her about him before they even got married, but she wouldn't listen."   I'm estimating my aunt and uncle have been married at least 45 years now, ever since I can remember anyway.   

So I asked my mom what exactly was the problem with him that they warned about. 

"He doesn't respect women.  His dad thought that women were never worth listening to, and his sons were raised that way and believe it as well.  So now (my aunt) feels he never listens to her.  Which he doesn't.  But she also talks too much and refuses to stop talking when he wants some quiet time."

So, where am I going with this, other than just blathering on for paragraphs about my family?

Sometimes we talk about really long relationships as being a success or about being unable to leave a M/s relationship as being something that we aspire to or that other people think is utter bollocks.   Personally, I feel that being unable to leave means you must try harder to work things out, rather than give up quickly.  You don't get to have a long relationship if you don't have the ability to work things out. 

Even in a vanilla relationship, other people can sometimes look at it from the outside, with only having part of the story, part of the information, mainly the complaints, and wonder "Why does she stay?"  Well, my conclusion is that she has her reasons, which for the past 45-ish years have been good enough for her.  Whether they will be good enough reasons tomorrow is unknown until that time comes.   

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