Thursday, February 28, 2013

Fellowship

Yesterday I spend a lot of time chatting with internet friends, people that I've never met in real life, but some of whom I feel very close to anyway.  They are all slaves.  Each of us has a different relationship, and different ways of being are expected of us, but there is still so much in common just from be subject to and devoted to the will of another person.  We all have our struggles and problems, and having people that will listen, question, not always agree, but always understand that our lives revolve around being a slave is so valuable in terms of learning and support.

Some like to think they can learn everything about being a slave from their Master, but that is mainly in the external, what do I do, world.   The internal world, of how do I wrap my head around doing this, really is only understood by other slaves. 

The latest thing I have learned there is avoiding having expectations.   They are frequently pointless and often distressing.  Letting go of them enables more of that graceful service, and brings both of us more peace of mind.  For me, when I am ready for whatever he commands, not having expectations, it is a more peaceful way of being than expecting one thing, then being disappointed or shocked and having to rearrange my head.  And for him, when I'm comfortable and not having issues with head rearrangement, he receives more pleasant service.

2 comments:

  1. Its interesting ancilla the concept of expectations, you know one of the hardest parts i struggled to get my head around was i shouldnt expect a 'reward' or praise for being good or doing what he asked when it was difficult for me....he expects me to do this because its the way it is and thats enough.

    Not that i dont get treats etc, i do but its when he wants to not when i think i deserve it.

    x

    ReplyDelete
  2. While one certainly agrees with this it can be very hard to put into action. If permission to do something is denied when the expectation was to get a yes it is disappointing and it takes time to adjust. Sometimes it is easier than others and it is getting easier with time. But to have not the expectation in the first place, well this slave is just not there yet. Maybe he needs to say no more but do not tell him that because it feels like he says no a lot.

    ReplyDelete

Days Like This

After a delightful lunch for three, we moved on to his bedroom.   I stood in the center of the room, my hands behind my back, looking down, ...