I nearly exploded from frustration last night. I was trying so hard to find my Zen thoughts- breathe in, breathe out. Let it happen. Let it be. Sob.
Master teased me all during the movie we were watching, till I was all a hot mess, then he said to me "Changed my mind, I don't feel that good, go to bed. Maybe I will fuck you in the morning".
But I think he was just tormenting me (or a very passing malady) because when we got in bed, he had changed it back again. I didn't really believe it at first, and when his hand pushed my legs apart I was tolerating rather than enjoying. I was so sure he was going to leave me frustrated that I resisted relaxing into enjoyment.
We were well into mid -fuck before my resistance went down and I stopped feeling like sobbing. He told me to get the vibrator then and made me come half a dozen times. He slapped me all over, slapping my breasts, slapping my thighs, my face. He pinched and twisted. I starting wondering if my nipple was going to come off in his hand.
It was a night that fucked with my head.