Wednesday, July 9, 2014

The word no, what it means here

Last night I was way over eager, pressing up against him in bed, wiggling my ass into him, and Master told me it would be more fun for him if I put up a little resistance.   He gave me permission to say "No", and in fact required that I say no to him so that he could over power me.   At times like this I feel even more like a pliable rag doll, like his toy and plaything, even more than usual.  He indicates how he wants me and that it is what I do. 

  So I resist.  

He asks me if I wanted to fuck. 
I answer "No, not now, not tonight", with dilated wide eyes and a gentle smirk that clearly tell the opposite story.  

Not believable enough.  He makes me try again.

It's a game. I struggle, he hurts and forces me.   

It is playing rape, but there are rules, which he sets and changes as he sees fit.  

When I push at him and struggle, he pins my wrists above my head on the bed.  He shoves my legs apart with his thigh. I kick at him, at his thighs, stomach, whatever I can reach with my feet. I try to bite his arm but I can't reach.  He uses the inner thigh pressure point to cause a lot of pain in retaliation for my attempt at biting.  He bites me hard until I go limp, fearing that what he's got his teeth on- like my nipple- is going to rip if I pull away.   As soon as his teeth let go, I twist one hand free and manage to get it up to his chest.  I use my knuckles on his breastbone.  

THAT earns me an even worse pain in my chest as he does the same thing to me, only 10 times harder, telling me that I don't dare do that to him, then he slaps my face, right and left.  I apologize and lie perfectly still, subdued. 

He gets both my wrists pinned in one hand up against my chest, and uses the other to spread my legs and begin fucking me.  I don't struggle anymore and he asks if I'm submitting.  I am.  I'm done.

He brings me to the edge of orgasm, and when I beg to come he doesn't let me.  He makes me beg for pain first, and I do, I beg him to hurt me.  He does, pressing fingers straight into my breasts at the nipple until they meet ribs.  It hurts like fuck all!  When I let out a plaintive sob he lets me come.    

He has me on top of him, riding and fucking and then tells me I can bite him.  I nibble gently then I bite down and hold on.  He makes noises of pleasure and then he comes too.   I feel a bit embarrassed about biting so hard I left bruises, but he's pleased, and that is what matters.  

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