Saturday morning I'm lying on my back on the floor by the kitchen table. Master is mostly watching porn but also occasionally glancing down at me out of the corner of his eye. He's ordered me to masturbate for him. I've fetched a dildo and am rubbing away.
I feel almost completely dismissed, used, and disregarded like a live porn show playing there in the background. On the hard floor. And those thoughts make me wet and rub even more furiously.
I soak the towel I have laid down on the floor. He places one foot heavily on my cunt so I can't reach it anymore. I rub myself against his foot, feeling raunchy and degraded both by being literally under his foot and from enjoying it so thoroughly.
He periodically has me get up to my knees and suck his cock, telling me he's imagining that I am the girl in the video he's watching. And more than that, he tells me utterly humiliating things. Then he has me go back to my position prone on the floor, naked and spread open. Eventually he has me suck him again and comes in my mouth.
He asks later if I'd rather swallow or have come decorate my face, and I have no answer except "Whatever you want, Master". He smiles and is very pleased with that being my only thought. It really is what ever he wants.
And speaking of brainwashed.
I'm reading this piece about strong, intelligent, stubborn submissives and how some of us are just stupid doormats for being obedient, as opposed to those who make their doms fight them for control every step of the way.
I'm not buying it. That particular kool aid they can have spit right back at them. I have my Master's kool aid to drink.
Yes, my Master likes me strong, intelligent and stubborn, but only when I'm acting in accordance with his wishes, acting to further his interests, in service to him, not to push back against him.
As if to reinforce some of my weekend thoughts, this morning I'm listening to my Dixie Chicks CD and it comes to one song he hates, which I used to like.
This song bugs my Master and every time it comes on he'll make a comment or simply give me a look about what a stupid song it is, and how that chick should just get over it.
So when the song comes up and I hit the skip button even though I'm the only one home, and then I wonder whose mind is it really.
Slip sliding away, down the rabbit hole.
It's a better song anyway.
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