Primal Electric

There is moment in sex when I turn from "girl" or "woman" to something rather beyond that.  An advanced state of slut: mouth wet, cunt wetter, body loose and ready.  Then sometimes, like last night, there is a moment even beyond that.  He had just ordered me to fuck him while on top, I had been between his legs on the bed, the vibrator between my legs, and when I lowered myself on to his cock my whole body was tightly full of electricity.  I felt like a beast, primal, my cunt gripping hard at his cock, pulsing it.  I didn't know if I was coming or going.  My mind was so full of the electric fireworks that I couldn't tell anything beyond that.  It was an eternity of pre-orgasmic delight as I rode up and down.  I stretched it thin, holding off the completion of the orgasm, but it felt like the beginning was already there.  Then he came and he ordered me to come at the same time.  

Yeah, it was like this:

   
He had started out by going down on me, and I was uncomfortable at first, but by the time he tied me to the bed and fingered me I was bucking against his face and fingers in a wanton way.

Then paddling my thighs as he fucked me with my legs up on his shoulders, clover clamps on my nipples and cunt lips, more fucking, and sucking.  And finally, the fireworks.

TMI Tuesday: getting emotional

1. What would you do to leave a great impression with a person on your first date?

Just the thought of attempting to make a good impression gives me palpitations.  I would just try to act normal, I guess, and not die of fright.

2. Do you usually follow your heart or your head?

Both.  I give them equal weight.

3. If your significant other told you to jump off a tall cliff and told you that you’ll land safely because there’s a net you can’t see yet, would you blindly trust your s.o. and jump?

Sure. In theory. It is impossible to know what would really happen unless you have been in that situation. 

4. How do you support your significant other?

I listen for his needs and wants and try to accommodate them at all times.  Sometimes support means shutting up and doing what I'm told and other times support means giving him a different opinion or different advice than what he had previously thought of, but in a supportive and respectful way.

5. What types of things or gestures/acts make you feel loved?

His hand in my hair, shoving me up against the wall or counter for some rough groping.  Being on my knees in front of him.  When he hurts me. And having my hair stroked while I sit at his feet, with my head on his lap.


6. What types of things or gestures/acts make you feel respected?

When he treats me like a complete and total doormat/slave/slutty cock hole.  I know it is backwards from most people, but I feel that treatment recognizes my innermost desires and essential self most strongly.

7. Can you have emotional intimacy without physical intimacy? Explain.

Sure, you can.  It is difficult for me though. I am a very physical person, touch being my love language.  It is possible but not easy to communicate on an intimate level without physically touching someone. 

Bonus:  In 2016, what was your most conflicted emotional moment?

It was the week or two after the US election, possibly including up til now.   I felt every sort of bad emotion: horror, fear, despair, along with some more positive emotions: wanting to come together with friends to support them, love for my fellow human beings who were also in pain, empathy.  I feel conflicted in wanting to make a difference in the world, wanting to volunteer and be an activist, but at the same time not wanting to anything that conflicts with being at my Master's service. 

Cock Hole

I was sitting here in my recliner chair next to the fire with the laptop when Master came in, leaned over me, placed both his hands on the arms of the chair and stared at me.  Hard.  

"Do you want me now?" I squeaked out.

He nodded, "Yup", and I followed him back to his computer, where he gestured at me with his penis.  Feeling like quite the little cock hole I knelt and took him in my mouth.  

After a while he stood me up, took my robe off, tied my hands together and pulled me by the hair down to my knees again. Now he had a long paddle in one hand and used the edge of it to strike me while his other hand moved my head on his cock.   I was half limp as a sex doll, but down lower where the paddle was having its way I tensed under the blows.  Trying to relax only half worked.

He asked me if I wanted his come in my mouth, or did I want to be fucked.  I replied, as usual and required, "Whatever you want, Master".  He had me tell him that I was his slutty little cock hole, his fucking whore, and many other names. Then he stepped away from me,  pushed me forward on to my hands and knees and took me in one hard thrust.   I was already very wet and ready from the anticipation and the paddling.

In just a few minutes he had me flip over to my back and he took the clothespin zipper out of the toy drawer.  He began fastening the clothespins to my nipples and breasts, then down my side and on to my cunt lips.  They are all connected by a string, so you know what comes next!

He started fucking me among the cunt clothespins, which ached in a most delicious way.  I had my head thrown back, eyes closed, hands still tied together above my head.  My back arched as I was getting close.  He ripped the whole string off in one yank, giving me the command to come at the same time- so painful and intense!

He did the zipper on me over and over, though sometimes some of the clothes pins stubbornly remained on my nipple or labia, even after being yanked, and this was the most painful of all.

He took me to bed and put my on my side, so he could fuck me and spank me at the same time, and he let me use the vibrator.  I don't even know how many times I came, but it seemed to be one orgasm on top of another, until he came as well.  

Friday

Today Master has to work again.  I did some work on the computer in the morning, then when I was just about to get in the shower the neighbor brought us a pick up load of wood.  I had to run and throw clothes on, then got the kids to help unload and stack it.   

Then I went out Pokemon hunting with the younger kid.  It was damp and cold and miserable, so we kept retreating to the car to warm up.  He stayed there a lot more than I did. 

When we got home and I finished up some outdoor chores and made a fire.  It's about time to make some dinner now.

Story of My Life

This morning I ate, let my dogs out, showered and it was almost time to go to Thanksgiving with our friends so I went up to get dressed.  

Master worked a night shift and was having a quick nap, but we really had to go, so I woke him up by offering a bit of "Good morning cock-sucking" which he accepted.  Then one thing led to another and I ended up getting smeared make up, mussed hair and slightly sticky thighs.  I did my best to get cleaned up and dressed and we set off for our friends' house.    

I drove while Master slept, since it was a two hour trip.  We had a wonderful meal with our old friends and are now back home again, loaded with leftovers.   I'm contemplating a late night snack of pie before bed, but I really shouldn't.  :)  

I'm grateful for Master, for the kids and family, and for all of our wonderful friends that make the world a better place.  

Honest Talk

Master gets the hot water in the shower, of course, because he's Master.   I get the cold side until he gets out.

This morning we were showering together, I was washing him as usual, shivering, and he says:

"You're not gazing at me adoringly, are you? You're just looking at that hot water and thinking about how good it will feel."

I said "Pretty much."

Honesty is important, right? 

Picture Day!

Master flogged me and beat me with a few things this morning before fucking me silly.  

This one is the holey (hell) paddle: 

 When it's being nice it can avoid hitting my nipple!

Just a close up of my collar.
And tits, again, because why not: 

 Unsurprisingly, even though I'm still sore in many places, there are no marks. 



 

Powerless

No, this isn't about a slave being powerless.  Well, actually it is kind of, but also Master and everyone else.

I woke up early this morning, and when Master got up I made breakfast (biscuits and sausages was what he ordered). I had just gotten the dishes cleaned up when our electricity went off.  Being on a well, this means no water because the pump doesn't go.  No shower. No toilet unless you use some of the water we keep stored to dump in the pot and manually flush.   Also, no internet and the only phone that works is the one in the basement, an old style one.  Cell phone- that's a nope.

Master made a fire and we read books or played card games (Fluxx) while huddled around it.  Did I mention that this is the  first real wintery day we've had?  Yesterday it was 67 and today it went to about 30 degrees with the wind gusting at 30 mph.  That spells cold!  Especially when we weren't used to it.   

When I went upstairs to get dressed, Master fucked me quickly on the bedroom floor.  Currently as I write I'm waiting for him to summon me again because he said he would... for purposes. 

 Eventually the kids were getting too restless, so Master sent the three of us off to the library.  The kids could play on laptops while I tried to go for a walk and hunt Pokemon.  This was miserable (fierce wind gusts coming off the river!) so I ended up in a little cafe that had a sign advertising free hot cocoa.  I could get Pokemon there and facebook so it was all good.   

When the power came back on at home Master sent me a message and we went home, stopping for pizza take away.

LOL Day

Today is official Love Our Lurkers day!

I'm going to turn the tables around and ask all of you, both those who comment and those who read and never have yet commented, some questions!

How did you find this blog?  Why do you keep reading?

What is your favorite post I've written, and in general your favorite subject/type of post?

What do you consider yourself?  Are you a top, bottom, sub, slave, switch, dominant, vanilla?  How did that evolve for you and are you hoping to evolve it more or in a different direction?

Do you write a blog?  If so, post a link if you wish.   

What do you wish I would post more of?  

What is your favorite blog that you read (not including mine)?

Conversation at Lunch

We went to a Thai noodle shop for lunch yesterday and were just talking about this and that.

I said, "I don't think people change that much. I mean, you're still nice 30 years later."

Master:  "You like to think that."

Me, paraphrasing Delores (Westworld): "I like to see the beauty in life".

Master: "I do too.  Naked, bound, and screaming while I beat it."

Me: 0.o

Ass Paddling

Master had been home just long enough to eat a quick breakfast today when he bent me over the kitchen counter and got out the cutting board.  The special ass paddling one.  

It hurt pretty bad too.  He grabbed me by one nipple and drug me into the living room, tossing me unceremoniously over the couch arm.   He paddled me again, then I heard the jingling as he took off his belt.  I got a half dozen or so snaps of the belt before I heard his zipper as well.  He took me and fucked me there, for just a few minutes before he pulled out and went back to the paddling.  He came around to my face and had me suck his cock while he hit me more.  I was twisted around, but making it work. 

 There was more fucking and more paddling, until after a bit he told me to go upstairs.  I asked if I could use the bathroom and he said "Hurry up" just as wound up for another big blow aimed at my ass with that cutting board.  I hurried right out of the room so he barely connected, just a swish and a tap, which made me giggle.

But when I came back he took me down to the floor by my hair, shoved his cock in my mouth and selected the even more painful holey paddle.  I don't know how it is worse than the cutting board, but it is.  Perhaps something science-y related to drag and air resistance.  Anyway, it hurts the most.  Holey paddle, holy hell.

When I was good and sore he took me to bed and allowed me many super-orgasms.  What a day already!  I am one happy slave today. 

 

TMI Tuesday: Money and Mischief

1. What shoes would  you like  to fill today?



My walking shoes!  I like to go for a walk everyday, so I'm hoping that today will be a good one and not rain all day.

2. What is the next big dollar purchase you are planning to make?


I don't get to plan any big purchases, but my Master has said he'd like to get us a new big TV.

3. You have $100,000 to spend on friends. How would you spend it?

Well, obviously however my Master wants.  I'd like to arrange a big kinky vacation together with friends, but I'd have to get his approval first.

4. You have $5,000 to spend on your significant  other. How would  you spend it?


This is going to be boring, but I'd pay off one of his debts.  I know it has been worrying him to owe money. 

5. What is your favorite waste of time ? 

The internet, obviously!  
 
Bonus: Tell us about the most mischievous thing you did as a kid.

At my grandma's house once she tried to make me eat mushrooms.  The rule was we had to sit at the table until our plate was clear, so rather than eat them I sat there for seemingly hours and then when she had to go in another room I buried the disgusting fungi in the dirt of the houseplants on the kitchen window.  

 
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment there so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Much Needed Beating

Last night I received a much needed beating and I feel quite improved in mood.   My Master seemed to have great delight in delivering it, so it ended up that I was happy I asked for it.  Although after the first few un-warmed up really hard strikes I experienced a fleeting bit of ruefulness. 

  My ass is still welted up a bit and sore, though I have no marks that would really show up in pictures.   I can still feel the bite of the misery stick across my shoulder and only a ghost of remembering the pleasurable sting as he caned the soles of my feet lightly.  I guess it was lightly because they don't hurt now.  I was pretty far into subspace at that point.

He fingered me roughly and then fucked me, mouth and cunt.  He told me he was thinking of someone else (I don't know who) and using me for my holes. My cunt is a bit sore today too, in the most satisfying of ways.  

We had ended Saturday night with a quick fucking, after a previous "bent over a chair in the bedroom and fucked" episode Saturday afternoon.  Neither of those stopped me from waking up Sunday morning horny and touching myself.  He woke next to me and took over the fingering from me, then took me. 

  I made pancakes for breakfast, did some laundry and then we spent Sunday afternoon moving huge logs around to reorganize the woodshed, which had become disheveled with all those logs we threw in there.  All the new wood that was in the way of the good burning stuff stacked in the back had to be moved to Master's garage. Of course first we cleaned the garage enough to fit it in and he also finished chainsawing the remains of one of the trees he cut down.  I helped by moving the pieces away, which then had to be moved again. 

I also drained and stored all the hoses for winter.  After that and then making dinner and cleaning up the kitchen I was pretty tired out.  But we still wanted to go for our walk!  Two miles in the dark but with a full bright moon, and a deep chat about life and things was really good.

Then, of course, my beating.   I'm ready for the new week!    

Old People Discussions and A Diary

Before I had a blog I had a diary.  It started when I was 9, and I kept it up over the years.  I haven't been writing in it much lately, but for a long time it was a regular thing for me record important events or random thoughts and feelings there.  A lot of it concerned dogs.  Mentions of our sex life or anything intimate were few and far between, but there were some.

 Lately, Master and I had been having intermittant discussions on whether or not we had sex on our wedding night.  This would usually be prompted by a question on Fetlife like, "Did you do it or no, too tired?"  

The old people part is that not only can I not remember our wedding night, but I can't even remember which side of the discussion I had take usually taken. I only know that one of us was always saying "Yes, we did have sex on our wedding night," and the other was always saying "No, we were just too tired".   Not only that, but my Master doesn't remember which side he was on either!

Enter the diary, teller of truths and rememberer of details.

Last night Master was looking for something in particular in my diaries, an episode when he had rather brutally taken me from behind while I was crying and feeling powerless and then I had called him a sex beast.  That was before we were married.  He found it eventually; it happened in 1991.

While he was looking for that he found my description of our wedding.  Not only had I copied down our whole set of vows and the service into the diary (I forgot how much religion was in there!), but there was definite proof that we DID have sex on our wedding night.  

So now we don't have to wonder any more.  




 

Things that help me in times of stress

-Hugs from my Master.  I could use a lot more of these.

-The sunlight.  Even when the sun isn't shining, even when it is cloudy or night, I know it is out there, and I welcome into my heart to comfort me.  God comes to me at these times.  

-Songs.  I love this one:  Love's the Only House.  It reminds me of all my wonderful friends who love passionately, selflessly and make the world a better place with their love. 

How I'm Feeling

The Hollow Men by T. S. Elliot

Mistah Kurtz-he dead
            A penny for the Old Guy


                       I

    We are the hollow men
    We are the stuffed men
    Leaning together
    Headpiece filled with straw. Alas!
    Our dried voices, when
    We whisper together
    Are quiet and meaningless
    As wind in dry grass
    Or rats' feet over broken glass
    In our dry cellar
   
    Shape without form, shade without colour,
    Paralysed force, gesture without motion;
   
    Those who have crossed
    With direct eyes, to death's other Kingdom
    Remember us-if at all-not as lost
    Violent souls, but only
    As the hollow men
    The stuffed men.

   
                              II

    Eyes I dare not meet in dreams
    In death's dream kingdom
    These do not appear:
    There, the eyes are
    Sunlight on a broken column
    There, is a tree swinging
    And voices are
    In the wind's singing
    More distant and more solemn
    Than a fading star.
   
    Let me be no nearer
    In death's dream kingdom
    Let me also wear
    Such deliberate disguises
    Rat's coat, crowskin, crossed staves
    In a field
    Behaving as the wind behaves
    No nearer-
   
    Not that final meeting
    In the twilight kingdom

   
                   III

    This is the dead land
    This is cactus land
    Here the stone images
    Are raised, here they receive
    The supplication of a dead man's hand
    Under the twinkle of a fading star.
   
    Is it like this
    In death's other kingdom
    Waking alone
    At the hour when we are
    Trembling with tenderness
    Lips that would kiss
    Form prayers to broken stone.

   
                     IV

    The eyes are not here
    There are no eyes here
    In this valley of dying stars
    In this hollow valley
    This broken jaw of our lost kingdoms
   
    In this last of meeting places
    We grope together
    And avoid speech
    Gathered on this beach of the tumid river
   
    Sightless, unless
    The eyes reappear
    As the perpetual star
    Multifoliate rose
    Of death's twilight kingdom
    The hope only
    Of empty men.

   
                           V

    Here we go round the prickly pear
    Prickly pear prickly pear
    Here we go round the prickly pear
    At five o'clock in the morning.
   
    Between the idea
    And the reality
    Between the motion
    And the act
    Falls the Shadow
                                   For Thine is the Kingdom
   
    Between the conception
    And the creation
    Between the emotion
    And the response
    Falls the Shadow
                                   Life is very long
   
    Between the desire
    And the spasm
    Between the potency
    And the existence
    Between the essence
    And the descent
    Falls the Shadow
                                   For Thine is the Kingdom
   
    For Thine is
    Life is
    For Thine is the
   
    This is the way the world ends
    This is the way the world ends
    This is the way the world ends
    Not with a bang but a whimper.

TMI Tuesday Voting

TMI Tuesday is here:  https://tmituesdayblog.wordpress.com/2016/11/07/tmi-tuesday-november-8-2016/

Refer to any type of recent elections as you answer the following questions.

1. I think more favorably about a candidate who has family, such as a spouse and kid(s)

It makes absolutely no difference to me.
 
2. I am more likely to support a candidate who has my same religious beliefs?
  No.  But I am wary of anyone who is too much much of a true believer in any religion if their agenda is to make the laws reflect their religious doctrines.


3. I am skeptical of anyone running for any type of office if they are devoutly religious.


Oh! I already answered above, I see.  Religious is ok.  A lot of people are devout without trying to convert everyone around them. Trying to force everyone into their religious views through legislation is not ok with me.  I believe in freedom to express all religions or no religion.

4. If a candidate has a sex scandal, I will not vote for them.

It depends what sort of sex scandal (consensual or non consensual) and who their opponent is.  I'm really more interested in what policies they will pursue than whether someone had an affair.
 
5. If a candidate was involved in a sex scandal more than a decade ago:
  a. I don’t care, it will not affect my view of the candidate b. Scandal is scandal, I cannot support that candidate c. Everyone has sex, sex is not scandalous, I don’t care about a candidate’s sex life e. For me to be swayed by a candidate’s sex scandal it would have to be something huge, heinous and against humanity

I guess I'll chose e but anything non consensual is pretty huge to me.  Sending naked pictures around is not as bad as raping girls.   Having an affair with an intern is worse than having an affair with someone who does not work under you.


6. I like when candidates call each other names and get into negative verbal sparring. a. Yes – It’s exciting to know the dirt b. No – It’s a waste of time, I learn nothing about either candidate

B!!!  I hate that.  Act like adults, ya'll.
 
7. Do you vote? Why or why not?

Yes. I have always voted in just about every single election large or small.   Why?  Because it is my right and duty as a citizen, that is how I was brought up to see it.   Now, you may be thinking, "But what if your Master told you how to vote, or told you not to vote?"  I would of course obey, because I have agreed to give up all my rights to him.  But he lets me vote as I want and hasn't forced anything, although for sure his opinions do affect mine.  We talk politics quite a bit. 
 
8. When it comes to campaign ads, which kind do you respond to: a. Negative ads b. Positive ads
9. Has a campaign ever swayed your vote?
10. Do you pay attention to who placed/paid for the ad?

 I don't watch TV so I generally don't see any ads there.  There is a lot of stuff on Facebook though.  The only time ads have swayed my vote is in the smaller local elections when I don't recognize any candidate, I have occasionally gone with the yard sign decision.  If one of my neighbors always has yard signs for people I support, and they also had this guy/gal that I never heard of,  I might just support that person too if I have no other information.  I have also had small local races when I looked at the ballot, recognized nobody and went with the straight "Fuck the Patriarchy" ticket and checked all the female names.   In any sort of state or national election I get informed on the issues and candidates first (or go with my Master's opinions), but locally it can be difficult to learn anything about them.
 
Bonus: Select all that you agree with, select as many or as few as you like.
a. U.S. Presidential campaign lasts way too long
b. U.S. candidates for President waste a lot of money
c. 2016 U.S. Presidential Race is a steaming pile of poo!

I will go with a and b.  Only Trump fits with c.    
 

Spanking!

Last night Master gave me six snaps of his belt before letting me crawl into bed.  I mentioned that it was pretty early and asked if I could  have a spanking before sleep. 


"Is that all you want?" he asked. 

"And whatever else you want, of course," I smiled at him, hopefully.

He gave me the spanking (hand and cane) and took everything else he wanted too.

I'm still smiling about it.

Bonfire!

We finally got to burn those two trees that were cut down in the summer with the help of our friends, mainly Hasufel.  Many other friends helped us haul logs and branches to the pasture back then, not to mention the hard work of the kids!

Saturday was our monthly munch, with a topic on STDs which was a really great and open discussion.   Then we went to dinner and afterward had a few people come over for the fire. 

  Master, the older kid and I had built up a huge stack of teepee shaped branches earlier that day, with a cardboard chimney in the middle, and the fire took off quickly in a huge column many times my height.  The sparks were falling everywhere, blotting out the clear night and the stars for a while.  It was really beautiful, and I felt quite blessed to be able to spend that time with my dear friends and my Master.   Also, there were s'mores. 

  After that our house was filled up with the kids' friends and they had a rowdy "sleep" over (by sleep I mean stay up late and play computer games and not sleep). Teen age boys are loud!

I made pancakes in the morning and then the extra kids all went home, which was good, because I had taken to hiding in the bedroom with my computer.  There is only so much rowdiness I can handle with any sanity left.   I really am somewhat of a recluse. 

Master and I did our canvassing, then I made dinner and worked on a few other things like laundry.   

New Rules/Command

We have a new rule here:  no computers on after 8 pm.  This is mainly for the kids, who stay up too late, especially the older one, but it applies to everyone, even me.   Even Master has been turning his off to set a good example for the kids.  (parenting is hard!)  Some of the nights we played card games together.  I kicked butt in Apples to Apples.

 It has been less than a week and we were wondering how it would go, but so far everyone has been getting more sleep, and there was very little complaining from the small peanut gallery.  Because it is a weekend we got until 8:30 last night, but I was just lying under a blanket in a chair listening to music anyway.    

We were in bed at just past 9:00 last night, read our books for a while snuggling, then had a quick fuck and went to sleep. 


And the other one, which is more of a command than rule:  use up the meat from the downstairs freezer a couple meals every week until it is gone.  When we went to check the downstairs freezer Master was pleasantly surprised that I'd already used up most of the meat there.   There is a little bit of lamb and a big bag of chicken.

Struggling: KOTW

The leather pulls gently against my wrist as my Master slides the makeshift cuffs over my second hand.  He expects me to make this easy for him by positioning my hand in the right shape and place for him, and I do, of course.  Once the fastening is done I am tied to the headboard rails.  He moves around to the other side of the bed and yanks my legs down, making me stretched tight, arms over my head, leather strained against my wrists.  My eyes are bright with desire for him.  

He is between my legs, and now I'm pulling against the leather on my wrists, struggling not because I want to get away but because it feels so good to pull against something, to struggle to try to get away, but not to be able to get away from him.  His weight is pinning me down, he's taking me, using what his his, and the pull of the leather cords sends me into a deliciously lustful frenzy of fucking.


 Read more about the struggling kink at the icon below:

 

Surprise!

The other night, Sunday I think it was, I thought he was going to do a little knife play- he had something hidden behind his back, and he had that look, but he whipped out a toilet plunger mini instead and he plunged my butt with it (the suction cup end- squoosh squoosh squoosh, not the stick end).

Note: this was a clean one, never been used on toilets.

Then he got out the machete, when we were done laughing.

Busy Week Already

It's only Wednesday and I feel worn out from the week already.   I didn't even stay up all night working Monday night like Master did.

I was pretty much falling apart yesterday morning.  My feelings of worry, guilt and worthlessness had totally overwhelmed me and I couldn't get my head out of there.

  Still, there were too many things to do for that, so we pressed on.  We ended up back at home after lunch with only 40 minutes before having to leave again, but Master made the most of it.  He had me talk dirty to him on the way home in the car, and he told me he wasn't going to give me a command to orgasm at all.   If I could have them without that, then I was free to do so, but if not, well, sucks to be me.  He pinched and twisted my breast while driving.  I was getting really ready for him at that point. 

When we got home I started throwing clothes off, and he told me to get upstairs.  I wasn't going fast enough so he smacked me on the rear and told me to hurry up. 

Once upstairs, I knelt in front of him and sucked him, then he told me to go get something to beat me with.  I picked out the arrow stick.  It hurt.  A lot. 

He put clothes pins all over my cunt lips, and my nipples, while I continued to suck him on my knees.  Then he fucked me without removing them and it pinched bad, so bad that I came several times without needing a command.  There was more beating after that, he took the clothespins off, and then he fucked me again, with my wrists tied to the headboard.  As soon as he was done we had to jump up and run out the door again.  

I felt so much better though.