Wednesday, October 25, 2017

Edge Players and the Public Scene

So I was reading on Fetlife about some edge players and how their CNC relationship was misconstrued as complete lack of consent during a class demo.  It is a rather huge bruhaha, but after reading all that, both sides and all the comments, I'm seeing how smart my Master has been to play with me differently in public and private.  Anyone who has seen us play in public probably thinks we play like anyone else.  The things that are undercurrents to that public play, the authority structure, the ways we talk at home, the things he'll do at home but not in public, are much, much different, and truthfully, the private stuff (which I do write about) is sooo much more important to me as the reality of the relationship.  Which is that he is in charge, not me.  

The debate also shows the vast, vast gulf between those who have a CNC full time relationship, and the majority of kinksters who just do scenes once in a while, or once a week.  They end up talking past each other, neither side really getting the point of the other way of doing things with no common ground other than they both like kinky stuff.  

Anyone else been following this issue or debate?     

2 comments:

  1. Yes, to allll the points in your posts, no to following on FL.

    And yes! There is a difference (not good or bad, right or wrong) among those who play casually and those who are full time and a lot of the times, it is in the communication!, you put it so well here. More often than not, I think I have witnessed it as silent communication during play: D-type picks up a toy to have s-type shake their head, while in the middle of a scene, for instance.

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    Replies
    1. It's the communication within a scene, but even more importantly, the communication that happened in the years/months/weeks before any particular thing happened. The kind of communication that makes up a relationship.

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