Such a Bad Day

I had such a bad morning on Thursday. I woke up feeling ok, but then one thing after another was going wrong and soon I was crying, hiding in the bathroom.  Master made me come out and give him a blowjob, right there on the floor in front of the bathroom, still crying.  I was quite miserable but I did it and felt humiliated about it, and not in the fun way.  Sad, angry, humiliated, it all roiled around in my mind painfully. 

He ordered me to stop crying and come out to open the gate for him because he was heading out.

He also told me I had to play with myself and have an orgasm after he left.

I did play with my toy, angrily, but I did not enjoy it. Ok, maybe I enjoyed it a little bit because I did orgasm. 

Later on, I was questioning my whole life up to this point, especially the being a slave part.  I just didn't feel sure any more.  

 Thursday night when we had to go to parent/teacher conferences Master was in such a good mood and was so nice to me I couldn't be mad or sad anymore.  Later that night in bed I confessed how I had been feeling and it told me it was ok to have doubts and was glad I shared them.  He held me tight, and the fucked me, which I really enjoyed.

Friday I found some hay for sale and Master talked the husband of one of his co workers into helping me haul it.  That was 85 bales, it was hard work, it took 4 hours while Master was at work, but since I was down to my last few bales to feed the sheep, having this hay all in the barn is taking a huge weight of worry of my mind.  I've been searching for hay to buy for quite some time, and most people were sold out.  

Every one of my muscles aches now, but that's a good soreness. That's an "I moved 2 tons of hay onto a trailer and then off the trailer into the barn (the harder part because of how far we have to carry them) with only a couple helpers" kind of soreness.   My minivan was also filled with hay, and I still need to vacuum that out. 

Friday night Master was gone because he had to do a sleep study to see if he has sleep apnea.   Saturday morning he came home and we had a marathon fuck session. I don't know how long it was, but it was immensely satisfying.    We had planned on a date in Madison but the woman we were meeting was sick and couldn't do it.  This was actually fine with me, because although I know I would have enjoyed playing with her (I always do), I was pretty tired and sore and not really feeling like going out.  

That didn't stop me from going grocery shopping, making cookies, going out with Master to play Pokemon, and then going to a work dinner party with him.  He was dreading the party, but as a work event it was required.  We actually ended up having a lot of fun there.  Free food and drink, silly games, crazy people, whee! I had 2 Black Russians and was highly happy, but I ate waaaay too much.