Master and I have been trying to walk every day together, as long as the weather is decent. Sometimes if he gets home late and it is almost dark after dinner it is a short walk. But yesterday he only worked half the day. I was feeling really gloomy. Several things unrelated to Master had gone wrong, and I ended up heading out for a walk on my own. He was watching one of those horror movies that I really hate, and I needed to do something besides sit at the computer or housework. So I walked.
I didn't get very far before I had this weird urgent feeling that he needed me, so I turned back and started jogging. I had only gone 1/4 mile or so toward home when I saw him walking up the road toward me.
Walking with him and chatting about this and that greatly raised my spirits. On the way home he mentioned taking me in the woods, and I got all excited. We weren't very far off the road, just behind a few rows of trees so if anyone drove by they would see us. He had me tie the dog to a tree and then kneel in front of him. He used my hair as a handle to pump his cock into my face. I loved it. Then he stood me up, pulled down my pants and fucked me for just a few seconds until we heard a distant car noise. We got all rearranged and looking "normal" before it passed us.
Bad mood completely lifted! Amazing how that works.
When we got home he led me into the barn and he had me remove my shirt and kneel in the dirt in front of him. Then he yanked down my pants, put me up on the front of the lawnmower, which is evidently the perfect height, and lifted my legs to his shoulders to fuck me.
Later that night he had me put in the butt plug, he spanked me with his hand and the cane, and then fucked me seriously hard. It is so delightful being with Master.
Sunday, August 28, 2016
Friday, August 26, 2016
Self Discovery
The theme of camp this year was undoubtedly self discovery. I went for a kinky good time, spending quality time with my Master, and we had that, but what I came home with was so much more than that. By being open to experiences and introspection, and going to some very thought provoking classes, I made several discoveries about myself.
- Unlike when my Master asks me to do some very minor topping, such as tying him up and pleasuring him, if he bottoms for someone else it doesn't bother me at all. I'm happy for him. In fact, it is a huge weight off my mind when he promised never to make me do THAT. I didn't get in writing what all THAT encompasses, but at the very least, I think it includes what she did with him.
- We went to a class on humiliation, degradation and objectification. This was absolutely my favorite class, and great fun to participate in. I already knew that Master and I are very much into this sort of play. But in addition to the HUGE First Choice Cunt revelation here
I had a smaller insight into the differences between myself and some others as to what sort of humiliation is pleasurable.
One thing I don't respond well to in humiliation play is being castigated for actual failures or mistakes. This isn't hot or exciting or anything like that to me, it just makes me feel bad. I discovered that for some other people, this is a turn on. But not for me.
I hadn't really been able to articulate this difference before.
- After I broke down and cried with the knife going across my stomach, I had later put some serious thought put into the "whys" of that reaction. I enjoy knife play. Sure, it is a little scary, but not panic inducing scary. I knew he wasn't going to cut me. We have done similar play in the past. It didn't even hurt.
What I realized was that not only is my stomach my emotional and physical weak point, the experiences I had with giving birth and other surgery in that area have further intensified that feeling. I envision the knife sliding through my skin, spilling my guts, slicing me open. This is all wrapped up in the birth of our second child, which was far more traumatic than it should have been. I sat on a picnic table in camp Sunday morning, crying and spilling out my feelings to Master while he held me. I realized that if I ever do need an Ordeal, this is what it would be about. Right now I find the idea too frightening, but it definitely gave me something to think about.
And, for no real reason, here are a couple of pictures from the trip home.
- Unlike when my Master asks me to do some very minor topping, such as tying him up and pleasuring him, if he bottoms for someone else it doesn't bother me at all. I'm happy for him. In fact, it is a huge weight off my mind when he promised never to make me do THAT. I didn't get in writing what all THAT encompasses, but at the very least, I think it includes what she did with him.
- We went to a class on humiliation, degradation and objectification. This was absolutely my favorite class, and great fun to participate in. I already knew that Master and I are very much into this sort of play. But in addition to the HUGE First Choice Cunt revelation here
I had a smaller insight into the differences between myself and some others as to what sort of humiliation is pleasurable.
One thing I don't respond well to in humiliation play is being castigated for actual failures or mistakes. This isn't hot or exciting or anything like that to me, it just makes me feel bad. I discovered that for some other people, this is a turn on. But not for me.
I hadn't really been able to articulate this difference before.
- After I broke down and cried with the knife going across my stomach, I had later put some serious thought put into the "whys" of that reaction. I enjoy knife play. Sure, it is a little scary, but not panic inducing scary. I knew he wasn't going to cut me. We have done similar play in the past. It didn't even hurt.
What I realized was that not only is my stomach my emotional and physical weak point, the experiences I had with giving birth and other surgery in that area have further intensified that feeling. I envision the knife sliding through my skin, spilling my guts, slicing me open. This is all wrapped up in the birth of our second child, which was far more traumatic than it should have been. I sat on a picnic table in camp Sunday morning, crying and spilling out my feelings to Master while he held me. I realized that if I ever do need an Ordeal, this is what it would be about. Right now I find the idea too frightening, but it definitely gave me something to think about.
And, for no real reason, here are a couple of pictures from the trip home.
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| The Ferry |
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| Lighthouse in Michigan |
Wednesday, August 24, 2016
After Camp
On the way back from camp, instead of driving through Chicago Sunday afternoon madness, we took the ferry across Lake Michigan. This was like adding another vacation to our vacation because it was so different and fun. First we had a long wait in the port town, which we spend enjoyably exploring and playing (Pokemon) in the park together. The park is right on the lake shore, full of sculptures and really beautiful. The ferry ride was fun for a while, and then we had naps. Master slept for about an hour on the floor of the lounge. We got home late, about 2 am.
In the morning we were expecting S. to come by to pick up the St. Andrews Cross before the kids and inlaws arrived. Master decided we could use it one more time before then, so he buckled me into cuffs and flogged and whipped me. He took me upstairs and we had some insanely hot and intense fucking. I don't remember details, just that it was very powerful. There was a lot of energy flying around. I was once again his prey.
The rest of the day I spent unloading the car and putting things away, cleaning up camping crap.
The inlaws and kids arrived late in the evening, and it was really good to see them again. I missed my kids!
The inlaws stays a couple days, of course we introduced them to Pokemon Go, then they headed out and I finally felt able to relax after camp. I wrote all those stories about Tryst, obsessively read other peoples posted camp adventures, wrote emails to people I'd played with or talked to at camp and perved the pictures that were released. I was trying to hang on to a bit of that feeling still.
Master had to work all day Saturday, and since they were having an open house I went to visit him. He was making tongue depressor art using the surgical laser! Most of them were pets' names, or for kids with their own names. When everyone had cleared out of the room but him and me he made me this:
Look at the cute little trophy!
It gave me all the squishy romantic feels a slavegirl could ever want!
In the morning we were expecting S. to come by to pick up the St. Andrews Cross before the kids and inlaws arrived. Master decided we could use it one more time before then, so he buckled me into cuffs and flogged and whipped me. He took me upstairs and we had some insanely hot and intense fucking. I don't remember details, just that it was very powerful. There was a lot of energy flying around. I was once again his prey.
The rest of the day I spent unloading the car and putting things away, cleaning up camping crap.
The inlaws and kids arrived late in the evening, and it was really good to see them again. I missed my kids!
The inlaws stays a couple days, of course we introduced them to Pokemon Go, then they headed out and I finally felt able to relax after camp. I wrote all those stories about Tryst, obsessively read other peoples posted camp adventures, wrote emails to people I'd played with or talked to at camp and perved the pictures that were released. I was trying to hang on to a bit of that feeling still.
Master had to work all day Saturday, and since they were having an open house I went to visit him. He was making tongue depressor art using the surgical laser! Most of them were pets' names, or for kids with their own names. When everyone had cleared out of the room but him and me he made me this:
It gave me all the squishy romantic feels a slavegirl could ever want!
Monday, August 22, 2016
Kink of the Week: Tasks
Doing tasks for my Master is a regular part of our lives. They are almost always housework or errands or other non-kinky things, so I don't even know if you can call this a kink for us. Probably not. It's simply a "He's the Master and I'm the slave, so I do what he wants" situation. Putting some of those tasks in a schedule has really made it easy for both of us. He doesn't have to DO anything now, about the tasks, unless he thinks of an additional one. They are on my schedule and it is up to me to get them done or else let him know if I wasn't able to (or forgot).
For a quick sample, Monday's task list says:
Exercise
Plan meals
Inventory food
Grocery shopping
Vacuum
Dust
Clean (vague, I know, but I always find things to clean, whatever looks dirty usually)
In addition, these tasks have to be done every day:
Get in the mail (except Sunday of course)
Scoop dog poop in the yard
Make the bed
Cook meals
Make Master's tea
Wash dishes
If there are unusual circumstances that take up most of my day or we are traveling, he doesn't expect all that to be done. I will ask if I think something really needs to be moved to a different day and he generally says yes. If however, I was being a slacker, not managing time well, or just forgot, he may decide to punish me for not accomplishing one of the things. Besides the punishment, I hate the dreadful feeling of needing to tell him I didn't get something done.
Now and then he gives me some kinky or sexy tasks while he's at work. Those are the most fun. Sometimes he'll tell me to write him a story. Once I had to wear the tack bra all day, even to the grocery store, and another time the butt plug for several hours. Although on both those last ones I had to call him and beg to take it off/out because of the pain being too much for me. I know, wimpy. He said yes both times, the tack bra after 6 hours and the butt plug only 2, but I was having gut issues at the time. Sometimes he'll require me to masturbate and have a certain number of orgasms, or even tell me what to think about when I do it.
I'd have to say the non kink tasks are quite important for our relationship whereas the kinky/sex tasks are an occasional fun thing.
For a quick sample, Monday's task list says:
Exercise
Plan meals
Inventory food
Grocery shopping
Vacuum
Dust
Clean (vague, I know, but I always find things to clean, whatever looks dirty usually)
In addition, these tasks have to be done every day:
Get in the mail (except Sunday of course)
Scoop dog poop in the yard
Make the bed
Cook meals
Make Master's tea
Wash dishes
If there are unusual circumstances that take up most of my day or we are traveling, he doesn't expect all that to be done. I will ask if I think something really needs to be moved to a different day and he generally says yes. If however, I was being a slacker, not managing time well, or just forgot, he may decide to punish me for not accomplishing one of the things. Besides the punishment, I hate the dreadful feeling of needing to tell him I didn't get something done.
Now and then he gives me some kinky or sexy tasks while he's at work. Those are the most fun. Sometimes he'll tell me to write him a story. Once I had to wear the tack bra all day, even to the grocery store, and another time the butt plug for several hours. Although on both those last ones I had to call him and beg to take it off/out because of the pain being too much for me. I know, wimpy. He said yes both times, the tack bra after 6 hours and the butt plug only 2, but I was having gut issues at the time. Sometimes he'll require me to masturbate and have a certain number of orgasms, or even tell me what to think about when I do it.
I'd have to say the non kink tasks are quite important for our relationship whereas the kinky/sex tasks are an occasional fun thing.
Sunday, August 21, 2016
Around the Fire
The burning of the Wishing Tree Saturday night is a special ritual to many people at camp. I hold it close to my heart, after my several and always different experiences of the energy there. Fire is a magical thing anyway.
Volunteers with chainsaws, or handsaws, go out into the woods and pick out a dead tree, or sometimes several logs that are made into a wooden structure. Camp members write notes on pieces of paper and tie them to the tree. These could be anything really, from wishes to messages to the universe. Saturday night everyone gathers in a circle, and the fire tenders light the tree to the accompaniment of drums. There are cheers, hurrahs, laughter, sometimes singing and dancing that goes along with the burn. Some people are likely fucking around the fire, and in the past that has been us. This year I danced for a while, watched my wishes burn, then Master called me to follow him to the dungeon for a rope play session he'd arranged with our friend. That was a lot of fun, being tied together and flogged a little bit, and trying to escape. Normally I don't try to escape, but in this case that was the whole point. I did it by using my teeth to unbuckle a cuff!
Sneaky, huh?
Afterward, we went back out to the fire, and one of my very favorite calm memories of this year's camp was lying near the fire in front of my Master, on a soft mat, being his foot rest. It was just the perfect spot for me to soak up warmth and recuperate energy.
Volunteers with chainsaws, or handsaws, go out into the woods and pick out a dead tree, or sometimes several logs that are made into a wooden structure. Camp members write notes on pieces of paper and tie them to the tree. These could be anything really, from wishes to messages to the universe. Saturday night everyone gathers in a circle, and the fire tenders light the tree to the accompaniment of drums. There are cheers, hurrahs, laughter, sometimes singing and dancing that goes along with the burn. Some people are likely fucking around the fire, and in the past that has been us. This year I danced for a while, watched my wishes burn, then Master called me to follow him to the dungeon for a rope play session he'd arranged with our friend. That was a lot of fun, being tied together and flogged a little bit, and trying to escape. Normally I don't try to escape, but in this case that was the whole point. I did it by using my teeth to unbuckle a cuff!
Sneaky, huh?
Afterward, we went back out to the fire, and one of my very favorite calm memories of this year's camp was lying near the fire in front of my Master, on a soft mat, being his foot rest. It was just the perfect spot for me to soak up warmth and recuperate energy.
Saturday, August 20, 2016
Dirty, Dirty Girl
I am all out of order on my posts now. I had resolved to make them go in order from Thursday to Sunday, but that isn't the way things worked out.
The "I have to write this now" inspiration strikes at different times.
Saturday morning after breakfast I was feeling particularly gross and grimy. The leather bar, the rain, the mud, sex in the tent- had all happened since my last shower.
We ran into Sir David (Cast of Characters, see here) near the dungeon. We had talked about playing. I mentioned a shower.
I didn't want to gross him out with my funk. However, he and my Master had other ideas. He took a big handful of mud from a puddle in the road and smeared it over my cheeks and chest. So that is how it is going to be? I felt shame and embarrassment in equal parts with a sense of fun and adventure. I'm even more gross than before.
Now what?
We parted momentarily, and met a few minutes later in the dungeon. He bent me over a bench and asked why I kept wanting to play with him.
I guess I have strange ideas of what is fun, especially when my nipple is twisted nearly right off!
All sorts of spanking implements were used, including one long handled paddle with holes in it that broke right in half. It had a lifetime guarantee too, from the best paddle maker I know. I didn't find out about the broken paddle until the end, though. There was whipping and some other stingy thing that felt amazing.
I was pretty well broken down into a hurting puddle when he turned me around, got me sitting on the bench and brought out a knife. This was good and scary and scratchy until he was tracing down from sternum to below my belly. At my stomach I got an unstoppable flood of frightening images flashing through my mind and between the fear, panic and overwhelming sensations I began to sob. I'm not sure about what happened next, but I think there were a few more things done and then we stopped. I had a drink.
Master and Sir David both led me out in to the road, and I don't know how it happened really, who said what is unclear to me, but someone was ordering me to get in the puddle. To lie down in the mud puddle. With people all around watching. I couldn't believe it. But I did it. Mud was dripped and kicked on to me. I had to roll over to coat both sides with the filth. Then I was allowed to stand up and Master took a cup of cold water and splashed it on me. I protested that the shock of cold water was going to make me pee (I don't know why, but it does that to me sometimes). I felt immediately like an idiot for saying that, what was I thinking?
He first said I could go piss in the grass by the dumpster across the road, but as I started to walk away he changed his mind and handed me the cup. A cup to pee in, right there in the road, crouching in a mud puddle! I did it. I couldn't believe it was happening. I couldn't believe I actually hit the cup. It was the most humiliating thing ever. (SO hot!) I almost got the cup of pee thrown on me, but Master decided he didn't want to make the road dirty because people walk there!
Then I had to walk all the way back to our campsite covered in muck, to get our shower supplies, then walk all the way back to the dungeon before I could clean up.
The "I have to write this now" inspiration strikes at different times.
Saturday morning after breakfast I was feeling particularly gross and grimy. The leather bar, the rain, the mud, sex in the tent- had all happened since my last shower.
We ran into Sir David (Cast of Characters, see here) near the dungeon. We had talked about playing. I mentioned a shower.
I didn't want to gross him out with my funk. However, he and my Master had other ideas. He took a big handful of mud from a puddle in the road and smeared it over my cheeks and chest. So that is how it is going to be? I felt shame and embarrassment in equal parts with a sense of fun and adventure. I'm even more gross than before.
Now what?
We parted momentarily, and met a few minutes later in the dungeon. He bent me over a bench and asked why I kept wanting to play with him.
I guess I have strange ideas of what is fun, especially when my nipple is twisted nearly right off!
All sorts of spanking implements were used, including one long handled paddle with holes in it that broke right in half. It had a lifetime guarantee too, from the best paddle maker I know. I didn't find out about the broken paddle until the end, though. There was whipping and some other stingy thing that felt amazing.
I was pretty well broken down into a hurting puddle when he turned me around, got me sitting on the bench and brought out a knife. This was good and scary and scratchy until he was tracing down from sternum to below my belly. At my stomach I got an unstoppable flood of frightening images flashing through my mind and between the fear, panic and overwhelming sensations I began to sob. I'm not sure about what happened next, but I think there were a few more things done and then we stopped. I had a drink.
Master and Sir David both led me out in to the road, and I don't know how it happened really, who said what is unclear to me, but someone was ordering me to get in the puddle. To lie down in the mud puddle. With people all around watching. I couldn't believe it. But I did it. Mud was dripped and kicked on to me. I had to roll over to coat both sides with the filth. Then I was allowed to stand up and Master took a cup of cold water and splashed it on me. I protested that the shock of cold water was going to make me pee (I don't know why, but it does that to me sometimes). I felt immediately like an idiot for saying that, what was I thinking?
He first said I could go piss in the grass by the dumpster across the road, but as I started to walk away he changed his mind and handed me the cup. A cup to pee in, right there in the road, crouching in a mud puddle! I did it. I couldn't believe it was happening. I couldn't believe I actually hit the cup. It was the most humiliating thing ever. (SO hot!) I almost got the cup of pee thrown on me, but Master decided he didn't want to make the road dirty because people walk there!
Then I had to walk all the way back to our campsite covered in muck, to get our shower supplies, then walk all the way back to the dungeon before I could clean up.
A Beating By The Wishing Tree
I was standing in front of the the wishing tree feeling emotional.
I had just put my second wish on it and was pondering vaguely on Saturday afternoon.
Master turned to look at someone coming up behind us, but when he didn't say anything my mind dismissed those footstep noises as not relevant to me. If it was someone we knew, he'd say something, right?
Unless they were planning a sneaky surprise attack, that is!
I found myself being dragged off by the hair to a hitching post. I reached up to touch Shep's hand. My fluttering wet-leaf hand laid on top of his rock hard one. The instinctive begging motion was ignored. At the post he let go and I grabbed on to it to brace myself for several hard, deeply thuddy impacts.
Unfortunately, there was already someone at the post- kneeling quietly behind it from the end of her scene, none of us saw her, and now it was too late to take back the disrupted headspace she suffered. I started to apologize but don't know if anyone heard. She and her Dom moved away.
I was being pounded from behind again, hard. I protested, tried to turn and even defend myself, but was quickly shoved back into place by a grip in my hair. I have no idea what he was using, but the impacts felt like they were going to break me in half at times. Soon I was crying and snotting all down my face. I had to ask to have it not so hard on my upper back, which was really frightening to me. He then worked over my ass good and hard, and then it was over, we shared hugs all around and Master gave me his handkerchief. Master is the only person I know who has a white linen handkerchief on his person at all times- even while camping.
I am still poking my many delightful bruises from this beating!
Ah, masochism. I'm pretty sure getting beaten by the Wishing Tree is extra insurance of wishes coming true. Sacrifice, it is traditional.
I had just put my second wish on it and was pondering vaguely on Saturday afternoon.
Master turned to look at someone coming up behind us, but when he didn't say anything my mind dismissed those footstep noises as not relevant to me. If it was someone we knew, he'd say something, right?
Unless they were planning a sneaky surprise attack, that is!
I found myself being dragged off by the hair to a hitching post. I reached up to touch Shep's hand. My fluttering wet-leaf hand laid on top of his rock hard one. The instinctive begging motion was ignored. At the post he let go and I grabbed on to it to brace myself for several hard, deeply thuddy impacts.
Unfortunately, there was already someone at the post- kneeling quietly behind it from the end of her scene, none of us saw her, and now it was too late to take back the disrupted headspace she suffered. I started to apologize but don't know if anyone heard. She and her Dom moved away.
I was being pounded from behind again, hard. I protested, tried to turn and even defend myself, but was quickly shoved back into place by a grip in my hair. I have no idea what he was using, but the impacts felt like they were going to break me in half at times. Soon I was crying and snotting all down my face. I had to ask to have it not so hard on my upper back, which was really frightening to me. He then worked over my ass good and hard, and then it was over, we shared hugs all around and Master gave me his handkerchief. Master is the only person I know who has a white linen handkerchief on his person at all times- even while camping.
I am still poking my many delightful bruises from this beating!
Ah, masochism. I'm pretty sure getting beaten by the Wishing Tree is extra insurance of wishes coming true. Sacrifice, it is traditional.
Friday, August 19, 2016
Nipple Torture Scene In Leather Bar
I got a note from D., saying they wished I would write more about the scene, so YAY, I get to do that!
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I had been hoping to do more flirting in the leather bar this year, and maybe even try to pick someone up. But when it comes down to it, I am just too shy. I worry about rejection, or about offending someone's partner, about all the usual things. My Master is much braver. In the back room he started talking to this absolutely gorgeous young feminine-appearing person, as short as me but slim. Master and D. stepped into the front room to talk. As soon as it was apparent that they were flagging to be a Top, Master pointed to me. They** wanted to do nipple torture, how did I feel about that? I was slightly apprehensive, but mostly excited. Play? Hurty games? With me? Why, yes, I do want that!
Master stepped off to the side and after a quick discussion, D. proceeded to tie me to the cross with sure and sensual movements. Every time I looked up I was lost in their lovely eyes. When I looked down... oh my. They wore little other than a belt and pouch for supplies, shoes of some kind, and a strap on penis which was currently just brushing my thighs. Totally hot, btw. Did I ever mention I have a bit of a thing for strap-ons? Well, I do.
They took out teeny tiny clothespins on a string and fastened one to each of my nipples. I sighed and moaned my pleasure. More touching, slapping, more clothespins and clamps. Pulling the chains and strings attached between them gave me trembling ecstasies. I was desperately turned on. All the pains were extremely pleasurable.
After they had untied me from the cross I leaned over with my hands still tied in front of me and asked a whispered question, "Do you want to go in the backroom for a blowjob?" I was slightly shocked at my own daring. And I was surprised at the answer "Yes." They led me by the rope attached to my wrists to a good spot in a dark corner, which had been thoughtfully provided with mats for kneeling- or whatever.
They handed me a condom and for once I managed to unwrap and put it on smoothly without fumble fingers, still with tied wrists. I applied myself to the task before me, and I hoped it was as enjoyable for them as for me.
**I use the pronouns they/them as that is how they identify. If you are not familiar with the idea of being genderfluid, here's an overview: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genderqueer.
------
I had been hoping to do more flirting in the leather bar this year, and maybe even try to pick someone up. But when it comes down to it, I am just too shy. I worry about rejection, or about offending someone's partner, about all the usual things. My Master is much braver. In the back room he started talking to this absolutely gorgeous young feminine-appearing person, as short as me but slim. Master and D. stepped into the front room to talk. As soon as it was apparent that they were flagging to be a Top, Master pointed to me. They** wanted to do nipple torture, how did I feel about that? I was slightly apprehensive, but mostly excited. Play? Hurty games? With me? Why, yes, I do want that!
Master stepped off to the side and after a quick discussion, D. proceeded to tie me to the cross with sure and sensual movements. Every time I looked up I was lost in their lovely eyes. When I looked down... oh my. They wore little other than a belt and pouch for supplies, shoes of some kind, and a strap on penis which was currently just brushing my thighs. Totally hot, btw. Did I ever mention I have a bit of a thing for strap-ons? Well, I do.
They took out teeny tiny clothespins on a string and fastened one to each of my nipples. I sighed and moaned my pleasure. More touching, slapping, more clothespins and clamps. Pulling the chains and strings attached between them gave me trembling ecstasies. I was desperately turned on. All the pains were extremely pleasurable.
After they had untied me from the cross I leaned over with my hands still tied in front of me and asked a whispered question, "Do you want to go in the backroom for a blowjob?" I was slightly shocked at my own daring. And I was surprised at the answer "Yes." They led me by the rope attached to my wrists to a good spot in a dark corner, which had been thoughtfully provided with mats for kneeling- or whatever.
They handed me a condom and for once I managed to unwrap and put it on smoothly without fumble fingers, still with tied wrists. I applied myself to the task before me, and I hoped it was as enjoyable for them as for me.
**I use the pronouns they/them as that is how they identify. If you are not familiar with the idea of being genderfluid, here's an overview: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genderqueer.
Thursday, August 18, 2016
First Choice Cunt
My Master had an amazing, intense scene with someone else Saturday night, and he came out of it with a tremendous need to fuck. Me. Violently.
It had to be in our tent, away from everyone. He practically dragged me there and I could feel the waves of sex energy pouring out of him. I stopped to do something in the campsite and he barked at me "In the tent! Now!" I hopped into the tent like I was snake bitten.
He came in and threw me to the mattress. He pushed energy into me violently as I struggled under him. His expression was fierce, but he didn't scare me. I wanted it. I wanted him violent. I wanted to be taken.
I struggled against him, fighting his body and pushing at him with my hands, but at the same time I was drinking up the energy he threw at me like one parched. I sent energy back to him, first fire and then the surrender of a trapped prey. It inflamed him more and he pounded me with his hands and his cock. My struggles became more feeble as I surrendered and embraced everything he did, the punches to the chest and the thrusting against my bruised asshole when he flipped me over. I came around him multiple times before he orgasmed and collapsed, exhausted.
Something he told me during all this made me want to cry. I held back the tears. It didn't feel right to cry then. He told me it had to be me. That I was his first choice cunt and he needed to fuck me. Nobody else, just then. Just me. I realized then that it had been a very long time since I had felt like a first choice for fucking.
It had been years.
I had gotten used to the idea that I was the easily available hole he could fuck at any time, but he was often imagining I was someone else. Someone in porn, or another woman from his past or present. It is a constant refrain in humiliation that he does, and somewhere along the line I had accepted it as fact, as a reality that I had to get used to, and not just a technique that he was using to get us both worked up. It was a painful realization that I was thinking this way.
He was sound asleep, so I waited until morning to tell him about these things. I lay awake for what seemed to be hours thinking these revelation thoughts. In the morning, still in the tent, we talked about what to do going forward, because I LIKE humiliation. It works for me, I mean really works. It is SO hot. But taking humiliation play for reality is evidently not something that I want. It is certainly not something he wants me to feel, because he says I AM his first choice lover. His first choice cunt. So, we will be finding our way slowly forward on that.
------------------
I still have a lot more of Saturday to write about. However, if anyone writes about Master's scene it will be him.
It had to be in our tent, away from everyone. He practically dragged me there and I could feel the waves of sex energy pouring out of him. I stopped to do something in the campsite and he barked at me "In the tent! Now!" I hopped into the tent like I was snake bitten.
He came in and threw me to the mattress. He pushed energy into me violently as I struggled under him. His expression was fierce, but he didn't scare me. I wanted it. I wanted him violent. I wanted to be taken.
I struggled against him, fighting his body and pushing at him with my hands, but at the same time I was drinking up the energy he threw at me like one parched. I sent energy back to him, first fire and then the surrender of a trapped prey. It inflamed him more and he pounded me with his hands and his cock. My struggles became more feeble as I surrendered and embraced everything he did, the punches to the chest and the thrusting against my bruised asshole when he flipped me over. I came around him multiple times before he orgasmed and collapsed, exhausted.
Something he told me during all this made me want to cry. I held back the tears. It didn't feel right to cry then. He told me it had to be me. That I was his first choice cunt and he needed to fuck me. Nobody else, just then. Just me. I realized then that it had been a very long time since I had felt like a first choice for fucking.
It had been years.
I had gotten used to the idea that I was the easily available hole he could fuck at any time, but he was often imagining I was someone else. Someone in porn, or another woman from his past or present. It is a constant refrain in humiliation that he does, and somewhere along the line I had accepted it as fact, as a reality that I had to get used to, and not just a technique that he was using to get us both worked up. It was a painful realization that I was thinking this way.
He was sound asleep, so I waited until morning to tell him about these things. I lay awake for what seemed to be hours thinking these revelation thoughts. In the morning, still in the tent, we talked about what to do going forward, because I LIKE humiliation. It works for me, I mean really works. It is SO hot. But taking humiliation play for reality is evidently not something that I want. It is certainly not something he wants me to feel, because he says I AM his first choice lover. His first choice cunt. So, we will be finding our way slowly forward on that.
------------------
I still have a lot more of Saturday to write about. However, if anyone writes about Master's scene it will be him.
Friday: Classes, Jenga, Rain. Leather Bar Hotness
Friday morning started hot, with sex in the tent, then a meandering search for coffee. We had some zucchini bread, but we needed some hot drinks and since a group of other campers had offered to share a morning meal we were mostly looking for company and making new friends too. After asking around a bit, we found the right camp site. There was coffee and bacon and tea for Master, and also meeting and chatting with new people, and connecting again with some friends from last year. It was a fine start to a day which was already heating up.
At 10 am we attended a class that was going to determine the direction of our experiences for the next few days. It was called Intimate Energy Dynamics. There was a lot of practice of those techniques during the class. It's not something I can really explain. It was mostly very intense and "woo" (mystical) and kind of spooky sometimes. It is kind of a "Are you picking up what I'm pushing at you?" dynamic of moving energy around.
I think our great connection makes linking up or reading each others body and face or sending energy even more powerful. However you want to think of it, really, it could be biological or metaphysical, depending on your inclinations. Either way, it seemed to work for us. Master talked a lot more with the class teacher afterward. He was really fascinated, which is totally unusual for him. He's not usually into the "woo" at all.
After some wandering around and eating lunch we played a game of kinky Jenga with some other people. The tiles had things written on them like "Grab a toy from the bag". You could choose something to either use or have used on you by any person. There was also "hair-pulling" or "biting" and many others. This was good clean fun.
Not long after that the rain began, and it continued. It was a relief at first after the earlier heat, but eventually became tiresome when events and activities were being cancelled because of it.
In the dungeon I more cage time, tormented a bit more by Master as I lay there naked. I love the cage. It has a feeling that is a mixture of protected and exposed. Contrasting safety and vulnerability.
Sometime during the day we had sex again in our tent. And a nap.
This seemed to be the camp of private fucking (except for at prom), whereas most of the other times at camp we had been all about fucking in public. I don't know why- I was just following orders.
The leather bar was set up in the rain. It wasn't quite done when we got there, so I hobbled back on down to the dungeon, following after Master. My high heeled boots are quite sexy but, oh, the suffering of my poor feet! They are not meant to be treated that way and I'm still paying the price for wanting to wear the hot boots.
I can't remember what we did at the dungeon. Camp is very much that way, a place where I am constantly losing track of time and what happened when.
Back to the leather bar, which is a series of tents and tarps set up to keep out the rain and provide a place to mingle. There is a dress code to keep up the leather atmosphere of the place. I wore the tall boots, panties, a chain bikini and a see through black net dress over the top, along with my collar and cuffs. It is the people that make the space special. A whole lot of joyous perverts enjoying mingling, watching, chatting, flirting. I feel like I fit right in this year. In other years I wasn't so sure; I felt like an imposter. Then they add in a fuck ton of extremely hot gay guys from the camp next door.
Why are they all so hot?
All. Of. Them.
Sweating, mingling, cigar smoke swirling, ceiling dripping.
Fisting. Blowjobs. Kissing. Lounging. Fondling.
In the back room of the leather bar there is rule about entry equaling consent. So, if you go in there, you can expect to be cruised, or touched. Master took me back there and soon I was on my knees blowing him. He offered me to two different people, and the second person, one of the most beautiful people ever, accepted. We had an amazing hot scene, and I'm not sure how to get a hold of them again to ask to write about it. That scene ended up in the back room again after beginning in the main room. I did that with a whispered question! So incredibly hot! I know Master was a bit envious but he didn't think it was right to join in.
Later on, we were in the dungeon again. Master ordered me up onto the spanking bench and beat me soundly. He had me kneel up on top of it and whipped me. Amazing hotness, again!
In spite of the rain and my extremely painful feet, it was a great night. I could not walk back to the tent, so he ran all the way back there and brought my sandals. He's the kindest Master ever!
At 10 am we attended a class that was going to determine the direction of our experiences for the next few days. It was called Intimate Energy Dynamics. There was a lot of practice of those techniques during the class. It's not something I can really explain. It was mostly very intense and "woo" (mystical) and kind of spooky sometimes. It is kind of a "Are you picking up what I'm pushing at you?" dynamic of moving energy around.
I think our great connection makes linking up or reading each others body and face or sending energy even more powerful. However you want to think of it, really, it could be biological or metaphysical, depending on your inclinations. Either way, it seemed to work for us. Master talked a lot more with the class teacher afterward. He was really fascinated, which is totally unusual for him. He's not usually into the "woo" at all.
After some wandering around and eating lunch we played a game of kinky Jenga with some other people. The tiles had things written on them like "Grab a toy from the bag". You could choose something to either use or have used on you by any person. There was also "hair-pulling" or "biting" and many others. This was good clean fun.
Not long after that the rain began, and it continued. It was a relief at first after the earlier heat, but eventually became tiresome when events and activities were being cancelled because of it.
In the dungeon I more cage time, tormented a bit more by Master as I lay there naked. I love the cage. It has a feeling that is a mixture of protected and exposed. Contrasting safety and vulnerability.
Sometime during the day we had sex again in our tent. And a nap.
This seemed to be the camp of private fucking (except for at prom), whereas most of the other times at camp we had been all about fucking in public. I don't know why- I was just following orders.
The leather bar was set up in the rain. It wasn't quite done when we got there, so I hobbled back on down to the dungeon, following after Master. My high heeled boots are quite sexy but, oh, the suffering of my poor feet! They are not meant to be treated that way and I'm still paying the price for wanting to wear the hot boots.
I can't remember what we did at the dungeon. Camp is very much that way, a place where I am constantly losing track of time and what happened when.
Back to the leather bar, which is a series of tents and tarps set up to keep out the rain and provide a place to mingle. There is a dress code to keep up the leather atmosphere of the place. I wore the tall boots, panties, a chain bikini and a see through black net dress over the top, along with my collar and cuffs. It is the people that make the space special. A whole lot of joyous perverts enjoying mingling, watching, chatting, flirting. I feel like I fit right in this year. In other years I wasn't so sure; I felt like an imposter. Then they add in a fuck ton of extremely hot gay guys from the camp next door.
Why are they all so hot?
All. Of. Them.
Sweating, mingling, cigar smoke swirling, ceiling dripping.
Fisting. Blowjobs. Kissing. Lounging. Fondling.
In the back room of the leather bar there is rule about entry equaling consent. So, if you go in there, you can expect to be cruised, or touched. Master took me back there and soon I was on my knees blowing him. He offered me to two different people, and the second person, one of the most beautiful people ever, accepted. We had an amazing hot scene, and I'm not sure how to get a hold of them again to ask to write about it. That scene ended up in the back room again after beginning in the main room. I did that with a whispered question! So incredibly hot! I know Master was a bit envious but he didn't think it was right to join in.
Later on, we were in the dungeon again. Master ordered me up onto the spanking bench and beat me soundly. He had me kneel up on top of it and whipped me. Amazing hotness, again!
In spite of the rain and my extremely painful feet, it was a great night. I could not walk back to the tent, so he ran all the way back there and brought my sandals. He's the kindest Master ever!
Wednesday, August 17, 2016
Kinky Prom
Weeks ago, Master had said he wanted me to dress in a cheerleader outfit for the Tryst Prom, so I'd ordered a cheap little outfit from the internet. It fit amazingly well for being "one size fits all". It came with pom poms and it showed my ass when I bent over, which was evidently his favorite part from the number of times he told me I dropped something while standing behind me.
Underwear? HA! No.
We got to prom early intending to help with set up, but unfortunately could find no one to give us a job, and we didn't know what to do, so Master stuck me in the cage right in front of the door and sat down in a chair next to it. This is kinky prom, right? Of course there is a cage at the door. He told me to lie on my back and spread my legs. Then he took a stick from his bag and began twiddling or tapping me with it. I, um, made the cage a bit more damp. I loved hearing the comments from people about me when they came in.
When a bunch of people had arrived he let me out of the cage and we danced, socialized and drank punch. Master helped another Dom cut the prom dress off his girl. That was hot, both of them working around her with knives. Then the four of us attempted to get the gang bang started, but didn't find the people that said they wanted to do it. So the four of us just took over a corner with mats and fucked. That was so hot and amazing!
After we'd cleaned up (the mats), Master had another scene he'd arranged, so I stood by to hand him ropes or whatever he needed.
Last thing of the evening, he tied me up, beat me with his belt, floggers and a whip (this is all a blur to me now) and we retired to our tent, exhausted. I had no trouble sleeping at all. The tent was rather hot, but I'd brought our little fan, so that was all good.
Underwear? HA! No.
We got to prom early intending to help with set up, but unfortunately could find no one to give us a job, and we didn't know what to do, so Master stuck me in the cage right in front of the door and sat down in a chair next to it. This is kinky prom, right? Of course there is a cage at the door. He told me to lie on my back and spread my legs. Then he took a stick from his bag and began twiddling or tapping me with it. I, um, made the cage a bit more damp. I loved hearing the comments from people about me when they came in.
When a bunch of people had arrived he let me out of the cage and we danced, socialized and drank punch. Master helped another Dom cut the prom dress off his girl. That was hot, both of them working around her with knives. Then the four of us attempted to get the gang bang started, but didn't find the people that said they wanted to do it. So the four of us just took over a corner with mats and fucked. That was so hot and amazing!
After we'd cleaned up (the mats), Master had another scene he'd arranged, so I stood by to hand him ropes or whatever he needed.
Last thing of the evening, he tied me up, beat me with his belt, floggers and a whip (this is all a blur to me now) and we retired to our tent, exhausted. I had no trouble sleeping at all. The tent was rather hot, but I'd brought our little fan, so that was all good.
Tuesday, August 16, 2016
Thursday: Arrival at Camp
Actually this starts Wednesday when we were on our way to Camp. We had a rather terrible drive through Chicago that day. Much traffic, not enough dinner. Then our credit card had an issue with a hold on it because of a purchase I made, even though I'd already called them once. We got that sorted out over the phone, but when got to the exceedingly cheap and ropey motel very late and collapsed with grumpy exhaustion. It was not the sexfest we had been hoping for when we started out that day.
Thursday morning I woke up with brain weasels (anxiety) giving me a hard time. Master woke up, and he began fucking me but sensed something was wrong. Afterward I told him about my doubts about myself. He reassured me somewhat and told me that no matter what I was going to go and I was going to be obedient at all times.
So we headed out. A stop at a bakery/farm market revived my spirits, as there is nothing like a good cinnamon roll for mood lifting.
We got to camp, set up our tent, stripped off clothes and headed off to greet people we knew.
Thursday morning I woke up with brain weasels (anxiety) giving me a hard time. Master woke up, and he began fucking me but sensed something was wrong. Afterward I told him about my doubts about myself. He reassured me somewhat and told me that no matter what I was going to go and I was going to be obedient at all times.
So we headed out. A stop at a bakery/farm market revived my spirits, as there is nothing like a good cinnamon roll for mood lifting.
We got to camp, set up our tent, stripped off clothes and headed off to greet people we knew.
Wednesday, August 10, 2016
Defend Yourself
Master, to me: Get over here. Bend over that couch.
(whacks me with nerf sword)
Master: Stand up, slave girl. (Hands me another nerf sword). Defend yourself.
Me: (staggering slightly after my one and a half beers): I have to go pee!
Master: You can't go to the bathroom unless you can get past me! Defend yourself.
fierce battle ensues
Me: I cut off your arm!
Master: (still whacking with his missing arm) I cut off your ass!
I made it to the toilet.
Master: Come!
Arrrrrrrrgh!
(We aren't always all serious and stuff).
(whacks me with nerf sword)
Master: Stand up, slave girl. (Hands me another nerf sword). Defend yourself.
Me: (staggering slightly after my one and a half beers): I have to go pee!
Master: You can't go to the bathroom unless you can get past me! Defend yourself.
fierce battle ensues
Me: I cut off your arm!
Master: (still whacking with his missing arm) I cut off your ass!
I made it to the toilet.
Master: Come!
Arrrrrrrrgh!
(We aren't always all serious and stuff).
Tuesday, August 9, 2016
Tryst Bound
We are heading off to Twisted Tryst, an annual kinky camping event, tomorrow afternoon. I'm practically exploding with excitement.
Sunday, August 7, 2016
Party, So Fun
I don't want to brag too much, but I think the party we threw was pretty awesome. Of course, this has mainly to do with the people that come and play and just in general make the atmosphere a good one. There were a few tears, but they were intentionally wrought.
I got played with hard in multiple sessions, with Master and others, so I woke up good and sore, reaching for my ibuprofen. I also had some extremely hot girly sexytimes.
That is all I'm going to say about that :).
We did FLAMING COOTER OF DEATH! and I survived. All three times. Barely. My nipples also got a flaming treatment from flash cotton.
We had two couples (and four extra dogs!) from out of town spend the night, so in the morning I made a breakfast bacon and eggs, zucchini bread and some fruit.
And two pots of coffee: it was a late night.
I got played with hard in multiple sessions, with Master and others, so I woke up good and sore, reaching for my ibuprofen. I also had some extremely hot girly sexytimes.
That is all I'm going to say about that :).
We did FLAMING COOTER OF DEATH! and I survived. All three times. Barely. My nipples also got a flaming treatment from flash cotton.
We had two couples (and four extra dogs!) from out of town spend the night, so in the morning I made a breakfast bacon and eggs, zucchini bread and some fruit.
And two pots of coffee: it was a late night.
Saturday, August 6, 2016
Party Today
I'm getting ready to have people over for a party tonight. Cleaning (all week), baking (yesterday) and setting up equipment.
Master left me with a little tease before he went to work. I had gone up to keep him company while he dressed. In the past this used to be a regular thing but it had stopped because he started sending me back down right away. But this week, the past three days he had ordered me to come up with him, to kneel on the floor or perhaps spread my cunt for him. So, naturally, today I went up without being asked. He was doing exercises for his shoulder, and told me to kneel at his feet, naked. My eyes were level with his crotch and I couldn't help giving some significant glances. He knew what I was hungry for, and he told me to wait.
When he was done with stretching he told me to lie on the floor on my stomach over there, pointing to a spot. I crawled over and lay down. He took his old heavy leather belt, here:
and snapped it at me a few times, hitting me in the small of the back, ass and thighs. He commented that it's not really a snappy belt, too heavy, so he doubled it over and gave me six or so hard ones as I moaned and wiggled, then let me get up.
I put a robe on. I was pulling some pieces to the spanking bench out from under the bed when he lifted my robe, gently stroked my thighs, my lips.
I moaned with longing. Such a tease.
He let me suck his cock and then told me to lie on my back and stick three fingers in my cunt. Hurry! I rammed them on in and he drew back his foot. Master kicked me several times on the hand, flattening my hand against my clit, driving the fingers deeper. He told me to come. It was amazing. He got me up to my knees, and stuck just the tip of his cock into my cunt as I knelt head down on the floor. It felt so good, but I wanted it deep. That wasn't happening; he headed off to work after letting me suck him clean and then using my hair to wipe himself dry. So now I will just have to wait. Ready to seriously party (and I don't mean drink). Whine, whine.
Master left me with a little tease before he went to work. I had gone up to keep him company while he dressed. In the past this used to be a regular thing but it had stopped because he started sending me back down right away. But this week, the past three days he had ordered me to come up with him, to kneel on the floor or perhaps spread my cunt for him. So, naturally, today I went up without being asked. He was doing exercises for his shoulder, and told me to kneel at his feet, naked. My eyes were level with his crotch and I couldn't help giving some significant glances. He knew what I was hungry for, and he told me to wait.
When he was done with stretching he told me to lie on the floor on my stomach over there, pointing to a spot. I crawled over and lay down. He took his old heavy leather belt, here:
and snapped it at me a few times, hitting me in the small of the back, ass and thighs. He commented that it's not really a snappy belt, too heavy, so he doubled it over and gave me six or so hard ones as I moaned and wiggled, then let me get up.
I put a robe on. I was pulling some pieces to the spanking bench out from under the bed when he lifted my robe, gently stroked my thighs, my lips.
I moaned with longing. Such a tease.
He let me suck his cock and then told me to lie on my back and stick three fingers in my cunt. Hurry! I rammed them on in and he drew back his foot. Master kicked me several times on the hand, flattening my hand against my clit, driving the fingers deeper. He told me to come. It was amazing. He got me up to my knees, and stuck just the tip of his cock into my cunt as I knelt head down on the floor. It felt so good, but I wanted it deep. That wasn't happening; he headed off to work after letting me suck him clean and then using my hair to wipe himself dry. So now I will just have to wait. Ready to seriously party (and I don't mean drink). Whine, whine.
Friday, August 5, 2016
The Kids Are Away, the Grown Ups Will Play
Master spent at least three hours playing with me last night. The first hour was basically me giving him footrubs and sucking his cock while he played on the computer. Then I got my ass paddled HARD, which is still hurting pleasantly. After that he hypnotized me, I lost track of time, he did many things to me, including burning me with hot letters (felt burning anyway, I know it was all in my mind) and had me do all sorts of things to him as well. One of them near the end had me in emotional conflict and I started to cry. It was a conditioning sort of training. I stayed up late after Master went to bed, taking care of dogs. In the morning he had me sucking his cock again, a little bit of fucking and then he pulled my legs up high to rub his dick against my butthole. Oh! He rolled me over roughly and shoved the tip in, without lube. But then he stopped without going past that. He got up and told me to get myself one more last orgasm (I'd had a few!). That last one took a long time, but I made it!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLnYPXTs9LY
Before he left for work he gave me a smacking with his heavy leather belt. Ahhhhh....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLnYPXTs9LY
Before he left for work he gave me a smacking with his heavy leather belt. Ahhhhh....
Thursday, August 4, 2016
Cruel, cruel Master
What with traveling, the hot weather in the south, and not feeling well last week, this has been a very poor week for the Fitbit and me and walking.
Trying to get back in step, I made it a goal to reach my 10,000 steps yesterday before I had my dessert, and of course I told Master about my goal.
I served him dinner, standing beside him wearing only my collar, because I had eaten earlier. He asked for cake and ice cream, and I didn't even lick the knife after cutting a slice. He went back for seconds, calling me over so he could show me up close as he took one more bite of my birthday cake.
How delicious it looked and smelled. Spice cake with penuche icing, my favorite. He did not offer me his fingers to lick.
We went for a short walk, during which the wristband buzzed at me to indicate !goal reached! As soon as we got back I went to dish myself up a helping of cake and he asked if I wanted to hear something funny.
Deeply suspicious, I said yes anyway.
"No cake for you!"
And then he laughed as my face fell and I tried to adjust to this new reality of no cake happening. But he was just teasing me and I was allowed to get my cake after all.
Cruel, mean Master!
Trying to get back in step, I made it a goal to reach my 10,000 steps yesterday before I had my dessert, and of course I told Master about my goal.
I served him dinner, standing beside him wearing only my collar, because I had eaten earlier. He asked for cake and ice cream, and I didn't even lick the knife after cutting a slice. He went back for seconds, calling me over so he could show me up close as he took one more bite of my birthday cake.
How delicious it looked and smelled. Spice cake with penuche icing, my favorite. He did not offer me his fingers to lick.
We went for a short walk, during which the wristband buzzed at me to indicate !goal reached! As soon as we got back I went to dish myself up a helping of cake and he asked if I wanted to hear something funny.
Deeply suspicious, I said yes anyway.
"No cake for you!"
And then he laughed as my face fell and I tried to adjust to this new reality of no cake happening. But he was just teasing me and I was allowed to get my cake after all.
Cruel, mean Master!
Wednesday, August 3, 2016
Too Nice
I'm really waffling about writing this post. How much is too much to share? I guess I'll find out after I write it.
I woke up in the middle of a sex dream. Master woke up desiring to use me, and before I was completely awake he was licking me. I wasn't ready for that. I couldn't enjoy it but I couldn't push him away, since I have been corrected for that too many times. I lay still. He asked if I liked it. "No, Master." He stopped. He fucked me, but I couldn't come. I think he was being too nice to me, I think I needed painful things to happen, but I couldn't say what was on my mind. Because I wasn't sure.
When he told me to get the vibrator I asked if I could get up to go pee, because worrying about that that wasn't helping me get on with the sexytimes. He let me go, then when I came back he began telling me humiliating stories, things that he might make me do, with people that I don't like. Hell, things I already had done on his orders, and ended up liking them just for the reason of being obedient to my Master. I had already done those things, and the thought of doing them again filled me with shame, a really hot shame. This wasn't too nice at all. The humiliation of what he described compounded with the humiliation of my having enjoyed it. And enjoying now even as I hated it. I was so close. I begged for an orgasm. He told me to wait. I released all the tension that had built up for an orgasm because otherwise there was no way I could wait. A few seconds later he told me to come, but I don't know if you have ever tried to come just after getting rid of all those feelings? It didn't work, and I could have cried from frustration. Damn you, uncooperative body. Sometimes I can hang out at the balance point of not quite coming and sometimes I can't. In this case, it was a "no".
But only for a short time. Soon I was there again and coming hard several times.
Master fucked me from behind then stopped. He wasn't going to come. But when he started touching his cock again I couldn't resist crawling down there and opening my mouth. I sucked and licked and touched until he exploded in my mouth. I got it all over when he pushed me away. Just another Wednesday morning with spooge in my hair. I licked up some that had spilled on him.
I made his breakfast, and then he was feeling sick again, when he had been better most of yesterday, and obviously, while he was fucking me. But he went to work anyway. I went to open the gate for his car wearing my robe and leather collar. He looked like he should be in bed, poor Master.
After he left I started playing again. I put down a towel and put on some red lace panties that are really too small for me. I'm not sure what I was thinking when I bought those. They would work. I took some pictures and imagined showing them to my Master when he got home, which excited me. I touched myself. Soon the panties were soaked. I took more pictures. I wanted to come right then, but I held off. I took a dildo and stuck it inside, taking pictures of that too. I was soaking the towel I had put down now. I lay down in the puddle, imagining some very nasty things being done to me. I stroked my cunt again. I got out the vibrator but only used it in 2-3 second bursts, not letting myself come. I stuck the dildo back inside and used the tight panties to keep it from falling out. I took the camera and went out in the yard. I took more pictures in an area well screened by barn and lilacs. Then I went back upstairs, took a few more pictures and let myself come finally. It didn't really help much though. I still would like to do more, but am not allowed unless I can ask first.
Later: I got in touch with Master and asked him. He said yes! I orgasmed 4 more times, one right after the other with no breaks. It was insane. I think I'm hypersexed today. I'm going to take a shower and try to think about other things.
I woke up in the middle of a sex dream. Master woke up desiring to use me, and before I was completely awake he was licking me. I wasn't ready for that. I couldn't enjoy it but I couldn't push him away, since I have been corrected for that too many times. I lay still. He asked if I liked it. "No, Master." He stopped. He fucked me, but I couldn't come. I think he was being too nice to me, I think I needed painful things to happen, but I couldn't say what was on my mind. Because I wasn't sure.
When he told me to get the vibrator I asked if I could get up to go pee, because worrying about that that wasn't helping me get on with the sexytimes. He let me go, then when I came back he began telling me humiliating stories, things that he might make me do, with people that I don't like. Hell, things I already had done on his orders, and ended up liking them just for the reason of being obedient to my Master. I had already done those things, and the thought of doing them again filled me with shame, a really hot shame. This wasn't too nice at all. The humiliation of what he described compounded with the humiliation of my having enjoyed it. And enjoying now even as I hated it. I was so close. I begged for an orgasm. He told me to wait. I released all the tension that had built up for an orgasm because otherwise there was no way I could wait. A few seconds later he told me to come, but I don't know if you have ever tried to come just after getting rid of all those feelings? It didn't work, and I could have cried from frustration. Damn you, uncooperative body. Sometimes I can hang out at the balance point of not quite coming and sometimes I can't. In this case, it was a "no".
But only for a short time. Soon I was there again and coming hard several times.
Master fucked me from behind then stopped. He wasn't going to come. But when he started touching his cock again I couldn't resist crawling down there and opening my mouth. I sucked and licked and touched until he exploded in my mouth. I got it all over when he pushed me away. Just another Wednesday morning with spooge in my hair. I licked up some that had spilled on him.
I made his breakfast, and then he was feeling sick again, when he had been better most of yesterday, and obviously, while he was fucking me. But he went to work anyway. I went to open the gate for his car wearing my robe and leather collar. He looked like he should be in bed, poor Master.
After he left I started playing again. I put down a towel and put on some red lace panties that are really too small for me. I'm not sure what I was thinking when I bought those. They would work. I took some pictures and imagined showing them to my Master when he got home, which excited me. I touched myself. Soon the panties were soaked. I took more pictures. I wanted to come right then, but I held off. I took a dildo and stuck it inside, taking pictures of that too. I was soaking the towel I had put down now. I lay down in the puddle, imagining some very nasty things being done to me. I stroked my cunt again. I got out the vibrator but only used it in 2-3 second bursts, not letting myself come. I stuck the dildo back inside and used the tight panties to keep it from falling out. I took the camera and went out in the yard. I took more pictures in an area well screened by barn and lilacs. Then I went back upstairs, took a few more pictures and let myself come finally. It didn't really help much though. I still would like to do more, but am not allowed unless I can ask first.
Later: I got in touch with Master and asked him. He said yes! I orgasmed 4 more times, one right after the other with no breaks. It was insane. I think I'm hypersexed today. I'm going to take a shower and try to think about other things.
Tuesday, August 2, 2016
TMI Tuesday
TMI Tuesday blog
1. Your thoughts–is oral sex cheating on your partner?
If they haven't agreed to you doing such things with other people, then yes, absolutely it would be cheating.
2. What is cheating to you?
Having sexual contact with others without the agreement of the other person/people in your relationship that such contact is allowed. I don't see looking at porn or other such impersonal activities as cheating.
3. Does your partner know you masturbate? What do they think about that?
He allows me to masturbate, but if he is home I have to ask him first. He likes me to masturbate to keep the edge off, but he also likes it to be under his control. We both have a strong kink for taking/giving up control respectively. If he's not home I'm allowed to use my vibrator to orgasm once a day, but then if I wanted to do it more I'd have to ask. Sometimes he orders me to masturbate in front of him so he can watch. Other times he specifically forbids me from masturbating.
4. Think about the best sex you’ve ever had. Why do you consider it the best, what makes it so?
The passion. All the times that have been the very best have been extremely passionate, sweeping me away in emotion. There is pain, humiliation, fear: all the extreme emotions combine to make it passionate and lustful. There is no one best time. There have been many best times.
5. When you have nightmares, do you call out someone’s name?
No, I don't think so.
6. When you’re having an orgasm, do you scream a name?
If it is really intense I swear quietly. "Fuck &^*%*(&^*&^ owww god damn it"etc. or else I just moan quietly. I don't scream though, too conditioned to having quiet sex, I guess.
Bonus: Which best fits your usual reason for masturbating:
a. Boredom
b. Stress relief
c. Saw someone/something sexy and you need to act out a sexual fantasy
d. It’s just what I do
I would say "d". It is kind of a routine for me.
1. Your thoughts–is oral sex cheating on your partner?
If they haven't agreed to you doing such things with other people, then yes, absolutely it would be cheating.
2. What is cheating to you?
Having sexual contact with others without the agreement of the other person/people in your relationship that such contact is allowed. I don't see looking at porn or other such impersonal activities as cheating.
3. Does your partner know you masturbate? What do they think about that?
He allows me to masturbate, but if he is home I have to ask him first. He likes me to masturbate to keep the edge off, but he also likes it to be under his control. We both have a strong kink for taking/giving up control respectively. If he's not home I'm allowed to use my vibrator to orgasm once a day, but then if I wanted to do it more I'd have to ask. Sometimes he orders me to masturbate in front of him so he can watch. Other times he specifically forbids me from masturbating.
4. Think about the best sex you’ve ever had. Why do you consider it the best, what makes it so?
The passion. All the times that have been the very best have been extremely passionate, sweeping me away in emotion. There is pain, humiliation, fear: all the extreme emotions combine to make it passionate and lustful. There is no one best time. There have been many best times.
5. When you have nightmares, do you call out someone’s name?
No, I don't think so.
6. When you’re having an orgasm, do you scream a name?
If it is really intense I swear quietly. "Fuck &^*%*(&^*&^ owww god damn it"etc. or else I just moan quietly. I don't scream though, too conditioned to having quiet sex, I guess.
Bonus: Which best fits your usual reason for masturbating:
a. Boredom
b. Stress relief
c. Saw someone/something sexy and you need to act out a sexual fantasy
d. It’s just what I do
I would say "d". It is kind of a routine for me.
Monday, August 1, 2016
Trip and Party
The trip went better than I was afraid of, in spite of me ending up at the urgent care clinic on Friday for an infection in my gum. This was not a fun way to spend my birthday. However, I got my antibiotics with no fuss and was on my way again, and feeling much better by Saturday when I had to drive to Iowa. It was hot, but not as hot as it could have been. The trip to Iowa took me 7 hours because I stopped a few times along the way to walk around and exercise the dogs.
Master and I met up with some people there, and we had a nice time visiting with them and meeting their pets. :)
The kids, of course, stayed with their grandparents, so Master and I have a few weeks of kid free debauchery planned. It started Saturday and Sunday and will continue when he feels better. He's got a nasty fever today.
But Saturday was great. I was the first one naked at the party, as usual. I was ordered to sit on the floor rubbing his feet until he told me to fetch some ropes. Master tied me up and flogged me, ending up with some punching. I must have been pretty subspaced because it didn't seem to hurt that much but my sides are bruised from the flogger wrapping.
In the morning I told him it was good that my mouth was better or I wouldn't have been able to open it enough to please him. He said he would have made it open up anyway! Then I was doubly glad I wasn't sore there any more.
When we got home he had me put the butt plug in and then caned me. We spent several hours fucking and napping, and it was pure bliss.
After I made dinner, it was time to work on getting the garden back into shape. I hadn't even been out there in over a week, maybe two, so there were a lot of weeds to pull and some frighteningly overgrown zucchini. Master had me strip at the end and whipped me, while taking pictures. That was the fun part!
Master and I met up with some people there, and we had a nice time visiting with them and meeting their pets. :)
The kids, of course, stayed with their grandparents, so Master and I have a few weeks of kid free debauchery planned. It started Saturday and Sunday and will continue when he feels better. He's got a nasty fever today.
But Saturday was great. I was the first one naked at the party, as usual. I was ordered to sit on the floor rubbing his feet until he told me to fetch some ropes. Master tied me up and flogged me, ending up with some punching. I must have been pretty subspaced because it didn't seem to hurt that much but my sides are bruised from the flogger wrapping.
In the morning I told him it was good that my mouth was better or I wouldn't have been able to open it enough to please him. He said he would have made it open up anyway! Then I was doubly glad I wasn't sore there any more.
When we got home he had me put the butt plug in and then caned me. We spent several hours fucking and napping, and it was pure bliss.
After I made dinner, it was time to work on getting the garden back into shape. I hadn't even been out there in over a week, maybe two, so there were a lot of weeds to pull and some frighteningly overgrown zucchini. Master had me strip at the end and whipped me, while taking pictures. That was the fun part!
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