Thursday, August 18, 2016

First Choice Cunt

My Master had an amazing, intense scene with someone else Saturday night, and he came out of it with a tremendous need to fuck.  Me.  Violently.  

It had to be in our tent, away from everyone.  He practically dragged me there and I could feel the waves of sex energy pouring out of him.  I stopped to do something in the campsite and he barked at me "In the tent! Now!"  I hopped into the tent like I was snake bitten.

He came in and threw me to the mattress.  He pushed energy into me violently as I struggled under him.  His expression was fierce, but he didn't scare me.  I wanted it.  I wanted him violent.  I wanted to be taken.
I struggled against him, fighting his body and pushing at him with my hands, but at the same time I was drinking up the energy he threw at me like one parched.    I sent energy back to him, first fire and then the surrender of a trapped prey.  It inflamed him more and he pounded me with his hands and his cock.  My struggles became more feeble as I surrendered and embraced everything he did, the punches to the chest and the thrusting against my bruised asshole when he flipped me over.  I came around him multiple times before he orgasmed and collapsed, exhausted.  

 Something he told me during all this made me want to cry. I held back the tears.  It didn't feel right to cry then.  He told me it had to be me.  That I was his first choice cunt and he needed to fuck me.  Nobody else, just then.  Just me.   I realized then that it had been a very long time since I had felt like a first choice for fucking. 
 It had been years.

  I had gotten used to the idea that I was the easily available hole he could fuck at any time, but he was often imagining I was someone else.  Someone in porn, or another woman from his past or present.   It is a constant refrain in humiliation that he does, and somewhere along the line I had accepted it as fact, as a reality that I had to get used to, and not just a technique that he was using to get us both worked up.  It was a painful realization that I was thinking this way.

He was sound asleep, so I waited until morning to tell him about these things.  I lay awake for what seemed to be hours thinking these revelation thoughts.  In the morning, still in the tent, we talked about what to do going forward, because I LIKE humiliation.  It works for me, I mean really works.  It is SO hot.  But taking humiliation play for reality is evidently not something that I want.  It is certainly not something he wants me to feel, because he says I AM his first choice lover.  His first choice cunt.  So, we will be finding our way slowly forward on that. 


I still have a lot more of Saturday to write about.  However, if anyone writes about Master's scene it will be him. 

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