My Master had an amazing, intense scene with someone else Saturday night, and he came out of it with a tremendous need to fuck. Me. Violently.
It had to be in our tent, away from everyone. He practically dragged me there and I could feel the waves of sex energy pouring out of him. I stopped to do something in the campsite and he barked at me "In the tent! Now!" I hopped into the tent like I was snake bitten.
He came in and threw me to the mattress. He pushed energy into me violently as I struggled under him. His expression was fierce, but he didn't scare me. I wanted it. I wanted him violent. I wanted to be taken.
I struggled against him, fighting his body and pushing at him with my hands, but at the same time I was drinking up the energy he threw at me like one parched. I sent energy back to him, first fire and then the surrender of a trapped prey. It inflamed him more and he pounded me with his hands and his cock. My struggles became more feeble as I surrendered and embraced everything he did, the punches to the chest and the thrusting against my bruised asshole when he flipped me over. I came around him multiple times before he orgasmed and collapsed, exhausted.
Something he told me during all this made me want to cry. I held back the tears. It didn't feel right to cry then. He told me it had to be me. That I was his first choice cunt and he needed to fuck me. Nobody else, just then. Just me. I realized then that it had been a very long time since I had felt like a first choice for fucking.
It had been years.
I had gotten used to the idea that I was the easily available hole he could fuck at any time, but he was often imagining I was someone else. Someone in porn, or another woman from his past or present. It is a constant refrain in humiliation that he does, and somewhere along the line I had accepted it as fact, as a reality that I had to get used to, and not just a technique that he was using to get us both worked up. It was a painful realization that I was thinking this way.
He was sound asleep, so I waited until morning to tell him about these things. I lay awake for what seemed to be hours thinking these revelation thoughts. In the morning, still in the tent, we talked about what to do going forward, because I LIKE humiliation. It works for me, I mean really works. It is SO hot. But taking humiliation play for reality is evidently not something that I want. It is certainly not something he wants me to feel, because he says I AM his first choice lover. His first choice cunt. So, we will be finding our way slowly forward on that.
I still have a lot more of Saturday to write about. However, if anyone writes about Master's scene it will be him.
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