Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Want and Denial

Sex or a lot of pain.  I needed one or the other.     He used the whip on me, and the floggers, and the paddle (hard) and still I felt like a great black hole of want.  More pain.  Or sex.  One of those, you pick, Master.  But he was done and went to sleep.  I lay in bed for what seemed like hours, trying to be good, trying to be patient and not cry in frustration.    But I just lay there wanting, unfucked.  

This morning I told him how much I still was needy and wanting and he told me "suffer, bitch" which is about the only answer that makes me feel better, oddly enough.   I expect a beating tonight, and possibly he will have sex with me tomorrow.  If I'm lucky.    When I get like this I feel so pathetically needy.  It's not like I have to wait weeks or anything, a few days is bad enough.    

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