Master and I had a discussion today on how much force, or threat of force, is actually present in our relationship.
It started with me bringing up the current debate on surrender vs. submission on Fetlife, to which he gives an exasperated sigh and says "Haven't they heard of a dictionary?"
I won't get into that whole thing, but it turned into a discussion on the morality of force in his view. He would not force me to be a slave, because that would be wrong in his mind, from a higher law than just the conventional government laws. He also thinks it would be WAY too much trouble to force me into every little thing he told me to do. I want to submit, more than anything, so it doesn't often come to that. My submission is voluntary. All the beatings here are for fun. My fun is optional, his fun is mandatory.
BUT. I feel like the threat of force needs to be there for me to be a slave. Why do I feel that way? I don't know, I just do.
I got into the rocky and dangerous territory of "What if one night I decided not to obey?" To that, he said "Well, why don't you try it and find out?" with an certain kind of sadist grin.
Call me a wimp, but that sounded like a threat of force to me. Especially since I have had more than one real lesson in that vein.
I don't think I need to try that after all.
Saturday, June 21, 2014
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I wanted the force and the punishment that would come from having to be forced. Having at least that tiny little threat of force can remind you of your place and sort of drive it home. I used to be really bratty, and I would dig my heels in so I had to be forced. I liked to be forced, it made it more fun for me. Or perhaps I just loved to be punished. Guess I'll never know.
ReplyDeleteI think some of it has to do with knowing your place and having that reminder of who is in charge and being able to respect that if you get out of line, he will be able to set you right. If that's not there, how can you trust him?
ReplyDeleteI think you are exactly right. I don't like to get punished. I sure get plenty of beating/playtime that is not punishment, and I don't like seeing his disapproval at all. But the knowing my place thing is VERY important to me.
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