I decided today I really don't care for hospitals. Sure the people are nice enough, but overall, I just don't like it there.
Plus, if you've never had to drink it, barium is extremely disgusting. I managed, barely, to get it all down (like 5 cups) without vomiting.
Not that I need any reminders, but I know for sure I'm a slave when I only went in and got this done because Master ordered me to do it. For sure I would have cancelled if it had been my own choice to go or not. I'm feeling a lot better, and beginning to think that whatever my tummy problem was it is getting better on its own.
I had a bit of flash of realization pulling out of the driveway about internal enslavement and what it means. I doesn't mean (yet?) I joyfully obey every order, but it does mean that obedience is inevitable.
I don't know if there are any slaves who never get that "I don't want to" feeling ever at all. I still get it. Maybe if one is super-duper slavey one doesn't have that. Honestly I don't know any slaves like that. But I know I'm going to do it anyway, whatever it was that he ordered.
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Last night I waited in my usual spot for him to come to bed. He first told me to get in bed, but then before I could move from my knees he'd changed his mind and ordered me to lower my head and raise my ass. He took one of the switches down and used it on me quite painfully for a few minutes before we went to bed. He had me give his cock some attention, then it was lights out time.
This morning I got up early with him so I could let all my dogs out before the Dr. appointment. When he was done with shower and breakfast (I was fasting- ugh.) he told me to come up and keep him company while he got dressed. I knelt on the floor and kissed his foot. He told me to be more naked when I do that, so I slipped off my robe and did it again. He told me to display for him. I rolled over and did this. It is a bit humiliating, but also pleasurable. He nudged me a few times with his toes, then sat to put his socks on. I knelt at his feet. Then it was time for me to get his lunch ready.
I think this is a fine way to start the day.
If there had been coffee and breakfast, anyway, it would have been a fine start.
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yuck, I hope thats the last of the tests :(
ReplyDeleteI get joyful obedience just fine when it's something I want to do. When it isn't, I get the 'but I don't WANT to' feeling in spades. Do I do it anyway? yes.
Unfortunately, when I'm already in that 'but it's not FAIR' mindset then getting it done anyway doesn't give me the pay off of feeling proud, it just makes me feel yucky.
Dosn't happen often, and it's more to do with hormones than anything else (always the same point on my cycle) but it really sucks.
Being a grownup just sucks altogether. Well, apart from the hot, kinky sex. Which also sucks, I suppose, but in a fun way ;-)
I know. My kids are always saying "I can't wait until I grow up and can do whatever I want." I don't have the heart to tell them how it really is. It is not all pizza and candy, for sure.
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