Sunday, October 12, 2014

A Dangerous Method

Last night we watched the first half of this movie, about Freud (Viggo Mortenson!) and Jung (some guy) and a pretty patient (Keira Knightly!).   It was better than I thought it was going to be.  The only reason I picked it up from the library was one review on the back said it was "occasionally kinky".  Good enough for me!  

Turns out she's a masochist and is practically frothing for a beating the whole movie.  They haven't shown anything, in the first half at least, but just all the talking about it sure got me pining.

I must have asked for a spanking at least three times in my not so subtle ways, but Master said no.  Eventually I gave up before I pissed him off.  (Cue the old joke about the Sadist)

I woke up at dark o'clock in the morning with kinky visions dancing around my head.  You know how sometimes there is imagining just for imagining and other times there is the longing and the yearning and just, I don't know, the pure torment of  not having it?  Craving.  That's all.   Fiercely.

I first started imagining what rules I could break that would make Master throw me around, throw me down, really beat the snot out of me.  Then I reminded myself that first of all, I shouldn't do things like that (bad slave), and also, it probably wouldn't work because he wouldn't react that way anyway.   I reminded myself to be obedient, for maybe an hour or so of lying there.  Then I started pushing (breaking) the rules.  I'm not allowed to wake him up.   I started stroking him, which probably didn't wake him up but might have.  Still, it was pretty pushy.   Then I played with myself, also against the rules without asking.  I didn't come, instead I stopped and reminded myself to behave.  Then I pulled my collar tight against my neck.  I hope I don't have to say why.   I'm not sure if this falls under "Don't hurt yourself" or not.  Hopefully I didn't break that rule too.   Then I touched myself again while pulling the collar tight.   His hand reached for me, and I put it between my legs.  I don't even know where that falls in the rules.  Probably outside.  But he was wiggling his fingers while (presumably?) sleeping, and he made me come.   Then he told me I should get up and let him sleep, so I did.  I guess he wasn't sleeping after all. 

Sigh.  Life as a very bad slave. :(    I can't wait until he reads my confession.  :( 

3 comments:

  1. I know this feeling! All of it! Is there no way to just say, "Honey, I would like a beating, please?" That usually works for me.

    (Actually it works better, because my guy also will not respond to bratting behavior and then I get depressed that he doesn't seem to notice or care what I am doing. Which is not true.)

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  2. No, I did ask. He just didn't want to, which is fine, he's the boss after all. I'm working on writing about the aftermath this morning.

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    Replies
    1. Here is exactly what it sounded like:
      Earlier ask: Me: "Spanking?" Him: "No."
      Middle of the evening, during the movie, Me: "Spanking now?" Him: "No."
      Almost bedtime: me, climbing across his lap and lifting my robe. Him: pat, pat, pat, "Sit up, you're missing the movie. You are way too slutty".

      Me, sadly, "I'm too slutty?"
      Him, "No, I like you slutty". Implied, in my opinion, just not right now.

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We've been on vacation

Mexico! I may get back to blogging eventually, but for now there is laundry to do, food to restock in the kitchen, things to put away......