Holding the reins tight doesn't have to be all about punishment.
It can be, but it doesn't have to be.
Sometimes it is just about attention, that he notices something I do and tells me it needs to be done differently. For example, last night during our ritual (not a nightly thing, but an as often as he feels like it ritual, which is generally once every few days) when he got to the part where he tells me how I could have served him better, he said I should have known to make sausages or bacon with the biscuits because he always wants a breakfast meat with the biscuits. I had been waiting for him to tell me each time, or asking, but yesterday I didn't. By the time he said he wanted them, it was too late to have everything done at the same time. The biscuits were already done. I made bacon and sausage, but it was 10 or 15 minutes later. To him, it was not worth a punishment, but it was worth noting and telling me how I could do better.
I really feel like this amount of structure and discipline is comforting to me. I love the days when in his eyes there is nothing I could have done better and he tells me I'm wonderful, but if there weren't also days where I could use improvement I think the former wouldn't be meaningful.
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