Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Crying

Master fucked me today.  He didn't want to mark me up because I had a doctors appointment this afternoon and he didn't know which bits I'd be exposing. He didn't want questions.  I had specifically made the appointment for his day off so he could go with me.  I'm getting a permanent birth control installed.  I didn't know until today exactly what it would be or what all was involved in the procedure.  

After the fucking I was extremely shaky.  It was one of those times when between the butt plug causing discomfort and emotion (butt plugs cause emotion? Well, I think they do. And discomfort), and the huge orgasms releasing emotion, as we finished I collapsed on his chest.  
I began to shake and cry.  First he tried talking with me, and I was worried I'd disappointed him.  Then he tried blowing on my tummy, because I was due for one anyway, and why not torment me some more?  Then, bringing out all the stops, he gave me a chocolate toffee bar.

 So there I am, lounging on my side in bed next to him, eating my chocolate, when he takes off the chain leash I'd been wearing (ever since he took me out for my freezing-ass cold piddle in the yard much earlier) and begins beating my ass with it.  

 Eating chocolate toffee while being beat with a chain, I have now decided, is the ultimate in hedonistic pleasure.   

When I tried to make his lunch I shook some more.  I looked at the cheese I was slicing, my shaking hand and this little yellow cheese, and it was just so sad.  I don't know why, it makes no sense at all now, but that little cheese was just so sad I had to cry.  Master told me to put the knife down and he came over and held me, told me to breathe, until I'd stopped crying.  He wiped the tears from my face.
I went back to making lunch.  

At the doctors' they said what they offer is the Essure procedure, for which I had to get a shot of Depo Provera right away, as a preparation.  I will have to get another shot in three months.  The Essure can be done before Christmas, which is what we wanted.

The nurse came in with the shot and I was all freaked out again, shaking and close to crying (I'm not usually like that about shots). 
 I felt panicky and slightly nauseated.    It all seemed like it was going so fast.  She said she wasn't going to do the shot unless I was sure I wanted it.  Yes, I wanted it.  As soon as possible.  I managed to get the hysteria out of my voice.  Master told me to look into his eyes while I had the injection.  I felt swimmy (giddy, dizzy) as the needle went in.  He said my eyes looked weird and they both kept asking me if I was going to pass out.  No, I'm not going to pass out over just a shot.  It's just all going so fast.  The Essure seems like it will be way easier on me than a tubal ligation, but still, having anything done to me like that scares me.  Master told me if I really didn't want it I didn't have to, we could do something else, but he really thought it was the for the best.  So I'm doing it. I had the shot. 

On the way home I started crying again.  

But I made soup for dinner, and muffins, and all is well again. 

Master thinks I didn't enjoy the sex because it made me cry. But nothing could be further from the truth.  I enjoyed it so much it snuck deep into my being and made tears fall out.

 

2 comments:

  1. Sometimes I get emotional like that too, and I'm not really sure why. I remember a time that Sir and had really intense sex, beating my breasts with his belt, and I cried after. But I was happy with the sex, and the beathing. Not sure why I cried. Staring weirdly at the ceiling fan. I can definitely understand the little cheese being sad.

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